For my part, I've replaced optimism and believing the best of people by default with a grin and the absolute 100% certainty that if they cannot find a pig to fuck, they will buy some bacon and play oinking noises on YouTube.

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Topics - rong

Hey you spags, if you want to shit on me, do it here and quit derailing other people's threads. 
not sure how many parents there are here, but there's about to be one more. 

so dole out that advice.

1)it is good preparation for parenthood to every day make a sandwich.  then throw it in the trash.

2) just buy rechargeable batteries now.  the amount of batteries kids toys go through is absurd to disgusting.  just get the rechargeables now.
feelin lucky?  well, do ya, punk?

a winner is me!

Bring and Brag / music store employees - a tribute
June 06, 2021, 02:12:22 PM
I know everyone hates me here, so I don't feel too bad about shameless self promotion.

I picked up a Boss RC-505 loop station and have been having a blast making music with it.

Natural tendencies towards delusions of grandeur left me no choice but to try to cash in on some of those sweet youtube bux.

so, check it out if you want - don't cost nothin.  if you like it, let me know.   or help a brother out - smash the subscribe button.
Discordian Recipes / the fuck is briping?
April 13, 2021, 12:54:33 AM
it has recently come to my attention that this is a thing.

it's so ridiculously stupid, yet awesome and fun at the same time, I figured some of you folks might get a kick out of it.

here is an entertaining, yet informative review of the product
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / Virtual Realities
February 13, 2021, 03:43:41 PM
Any of you yahoos monkey around in VR?

I got a headset about 8 months ago - the games are quite impressive, but I'm not really much of a gamer.

What I've really become enamored with is Altspace (some prefer VRChat, but there's too many squeakers in there for me)

There's some genuinely interesting folks that hang out in there and you can build your own worlds if that's your thing.

There's also some other more interesting things that happen - the story of the black robots being one of them.

anyhow - just wondering if i might run in to a PD'er in there some day.  I was thinking about making a Chapel Perilous world, but it would be fun to collaborate.
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / is this bullshit?
February 04, 2020, 10:53:12 AM
entropy describes the tendency of everything to move from order to disorder, right? 

so, if everything continues to become less ordered, and more disordered, forever - then, wouldn't there eventually be a state of complete disorder achieved?

wouldn't this be a state of ultimate homogenization?  where everything is the same??

isn't this the highest achievable orderliness?

or is it bullshit?
Bring and Brag / Big Brother
April 18, 2018, 05:48:02 PM
Big Brother knows when you are sleeping.
Big Brother knows when you're awake.
Big Brother loves you, this you know
Because your cell phone tells you so
Big Brother wants you to shop at Home Depot
Aneristic Illusions / muh russia
March 28, 2018, 04:54:24 AM
i nominate yuri bezmenov for discordian sainthood
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / the Bowling thread
December 01, 2014, 02:36:34 AM
Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 01, 2014, 02:20:57 AM
Quote from: rong on December 01, 2014, 02:09:15 AM
i think maybe it is not really bowling that you enjoy

but, i didn't mean to jack this thread and our little portion seems to be turning into a different debate.

I don't think you're qualified to tell other people what they do or don't find enjoyable. :lol: I don't think anyone is. If you want to explore what other people find enjoyable, and how, how much, and why they find them enjoyable, that would make a pretty decent thread, IMO. You might find that people have very different perspectives from one another when it comes to enjoyable activities.

hey, I said maybe

I think, maybe, it's possible that some (but certainly not all) people believe they enjoy bowling, when what they actually enjoy is bowling with friends

personally, I enjoy bowling. I have gone bowling by myself.  I love the way it sounds.  I love trying to analyze the oil pattern.  Should I speed up my throw?  Slow it down?  more hook?  Maybe move over a couple boards?  Maybe move over an arrow and re-calibrate?

go ahead.  if you want to.

since i got divorced my sex life has been fucking great. 
inspired by the do what you love thread and one of my favorite books Gig: Americans talk about their jobs

Tell me what you do for a living.  What do you like about it?  What do you not like about it?

I am an industrial electrician at an OSB mill.  I really like the troubleshooting and hands on element - I enjoy working with tools and solving problems.  I do some PLC programming and that - believe it or not - allows for some creativity.  It's really neat to see some equipment you installed come to life.  I recently installed some equipment and wrote a program to monitor and control our peak electrical demand and it has been saving us $50k+ per year.

I have a lot of freedom in my daily schedule - as long as I get my work list done and answer calls, I am meeting my job requirements.  So, when everything is running smoothly, I have a lot of free time.  We have a decent machine shop here and I have been learning how to weld and do metal fabrication.

The cons are that most people in the mill are not educated beyond highschool and most conversations with coworkers all revolve around a)people that I don't know b)hunting and/or fishing.

Another con is that most places in the mill are very loud, dirty, and hot.  Also, if it's 25 below outside and that level senor on top of the dry fuel silo fails (again  :argh!:), I have to go up there and fix it.  Luckily that doesn't happen too often.  There are multitudes of ways to die a horrible death here, but jobs that cannot be done safely do not have to be done.

The key to survival at this place is to realize that if management wants your opinion, they will give it to you.  If you can cope with that, then this is a great place to work.
Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / weird money idea
January 20, 2014, 01:36:19 PM
Hi everybody.  On my way home from midnight shift I had a strange money idea. 

Wouldn't it be handy if there were notes or coins with negative value?

That way, if you wanted to buy something that was $4, but you didn't have 4 $1's and the seller didn't have any $1's, you could pay with a $5 bill and a -$1 bill.

Stores that accumulated lots of "negative" money could sell things by allowing the buyer to - instead of paying in positive cash - take on the negative cash in the amount of the value of the item.  i.e. I'll take this $35 CD player and 35 -$1 bills.

In some ways, it's a lot like going into debt.

I don't see a way, however, to resolve the problem of people just collecting massive amounts of negative bills.

anyhow - weird idea - thought i'd share.

Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / I, Robot
December 20, 2013, 07:09:07 AM
So, I finally saw the movie I, Robot

I thought it was a pretty good flick.  Not, that great, though because during the movie my mind began to wander.  That happens a lot during movies. 

Anyhow, I began to wonder about what would happen to the economy and how things would be different if there were an abundance of able bodied robots to perform all of our duties for us.  If every job could be done by robots (including the manufacturing of robots) - what would drive the economy?  do robots necessitate socialism?  government entitlements?  would it further separate the classes?  are we approaching something similar already due to the fact that so many processes are now automated?

Since there's no such thing as an original thought, it occurred to me that there must already exist some very good writing on this subject.

I figure some study of cultures where slavery was practiced would also be a fairly good indicator - early america, ancient egypt, etc.  It would be nice to think that robots mean we will all live like egyptian royalty. 

I suppose scarcity of resources will always come into play. . .

Can anyone point me to some good reading on this subject?  I'm not looking to to research a graduate thesis or anything - just some leisurely reading to feed my pondering. 

Thanks in advance.
Well, have you?

Share it here.

I just came up with 'erogenius' and I'm rather proud of myself.
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / bob.dobbs
April 26, 2012, 05:24:11 AM
does anyone here own

i am working on a caper and that address is taken
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / unions
March 27, 2012, 10:44:54 PM
I am the son of a union electrician.

I work in a non-union electric shop in a mill under less than favorable conditions.

A recent turn of events has me considering the pros and cons of attempting to unionized.

I was raised to believe unions are responsible for protecting deadbeat workers and the downfall of the 'merican auto industry.

However, it occurs to me that American CEOs are the true causes of industrial downfall.

Hopefully, this is the thread where hopefully folks voice their opinions on labor unions and hopefully I will achieve deeper insight as to how to proceed with options that are available to me.
It appears my last couple posts have disappeared.

Have I gone mad?

Does my internets skillz need learnin?

Are mods looking out for my (or others) better interests?

Just wondering
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / dear navkat
March 05, 2012, 10:41:25 PM
I fucking love motorcycles.  I heard you were interested in motorcycles, too.

Please don't buy a cruiser.  They aren't really very comfortable and utilize ancient technology.  I strongly encourage you to consider a dual sport motorcycle - they may not be pretty, but they'll get you there just as good, they're cheap, and easy to maintain.

Also - I recommend reading "proficient motorcycling" by David Hough
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / Abject Failure
February 16, 2012, 02:37:41 AM
sorry if this is off context, but i'm interested in the topic of this thread, but not interested enough to read all 38 pages of it.

that said -

i often like to say i'm racist against the dutch.  mainly to make a point that skin color is arbitrary and that racism should stem from nation of origin.  i also like to claim i'm racist against finlanders - because, where i live, theres a fuckload of them.

i think it's a shame that racism seems to overshadow any acknowledgement of differences in race. 

if i wanted to start a rape a pillage company, i'd hire norwegians.  does that make me racist?

i don't understand how we, as a species, can laud the westminster dog show, but when it comes to our own species, we wholeheartedly, blindly insist that WE ARE ALL THE SAME

maybe i am missing the point - and i think it's unfortunate, that - in america, at least, racism has been "newspeaked" into blacks vs whites.  ii find it odd to live in a country where pride in one's heritage is acceptable, but acknowledging differences in descendants is frowned upon.
From what I can gather, you are the equivalent of my boss's boss.

A couple weeks ago I was sent home for being insubordinate.

The day prior I replaced a non-critical sensor that failed because it was fucking cold outside.  My boss wouldn't let me take the 12 mile round trip to get proper gear from home to work in -25 F wind chill, so I did the job in my work clothes and light jacket.

Guess what? It was fucking cold again and the new sensor failed that night.

My boss told me to put the original, failed, sensor back up on the 30' silo (it was 10 degrees colder that day) and I told him no.

I got sent home for being insubordinate.

Was I out of line?
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / car talk thread
December 26, 2011, 08:13:56 PM
this is the thread to share your car problems and fixes.  ask for advice maybe?  (i heard someone's Van is down)

here is the story of my truck:

it's a 1988 chevy silverado.  well, technically, most of a 1988 chevy silverado.  the saint paul road commission did me no favors with their incessant salting.

i don't drive it much as it seems to break down every time i fill the gas tank.

but a few weeks ago, on midnights, i drove it to work to pick up some nice wooden boxes left over from a huge maintenance project. 
they had decent plywood on them and i think maybe one of them will become a nice toy box for the kid.

anyhow, it got down to about 5 degrees or so that night and come morning i go to start it up and *click*

i figured the battery was shot but after 20 minutes with jumper cables hooked up i figured it might be something else. 

got a coworker to turn the key while i whacked on the starter with a hammer and got the bitch started.

i made it home and resigned myself to park it until nicer weather (read: july).  that is, until my father in-law got me a new starter as an early christmas present.

so, last weekend i started a fire in the garage and proceeded to spend several hours cussing and eating dirt and rust and finally managed to wrestle the new starter in.

after i deemed that the new starter was worthy, i decided to fix the driver's side door.  the inside handle didn't work, so you had to roll down the window and open it from the outside.

thing is, the driver's side window wasn't behaving so i was being forced to exit via the passenger side door. (that window doesn't roll down either)

in the process of fixing the door handle, i ended up getting my window all out of the track and spent a couple more  hours cussing at the door until i finally got everything back together
with a properly functioning window.  shut the door for a test-open and WTF? neither handle works now.  fuck - the bitch is locked!  naturally, i immediately proceed to break the key off in the lock.

luckily i was able to get it unlocked and enjoy a properly (by my standards) functioning driver's side door.

i decided to go get some victory beer and drop off the old starter so my father in-law can get the credit for the core charge.
(he bought it from the local "small town mechanic that works out of his garage, does really good work at reasonable rates and is an all around super nice guy" - i call him bob)

i dropped off the starter, picked up a 12 pack and headed for home.

about 2 miles down the road - KABOOM!!!!! - the loudest backfire i've ever heard in my life.  did you know a backfire can blow your muffler wide open?  neither did i.

truck would turn over, but wouldn't start.  checked the oil and checked (hoped for) a plugged air filter.  oil was good.  air filter was clean.

luckily i was only 1/4 mile from my in-laws.  called my father in law and he towed me back to bob's.

bob said he'd take a look at it the next day.  i got a ride home and drowned my sorrows. 

the next day, i got the good news from bob: he said the wire from the ignition coil was rusted to shit, so he replaced that and gave me a new distributor cap - free of charge.

he also fixed my back brakes (did i mention that i had no back brakes?), so i was out the door for $50.  not too shabby.

i got the truck home and backed up to the wood shed to load up my garage firewood supply and the truck stalls on me.  won't start.  FUCK

i called bob and he figured it was the ignition module, he said he had one i could have.  i went and got it and he gave me a new distributor and ignition coil, too.

i went home and pulled the distributor cap off and disconnected the pick up coil from the ignition module.  and by disconnected, i mean i pulled on the plug and it fell apart in my fingers.

guess we're replacing the whole distributor.  with the help of a friend with a 9/16" crow's foot wrench and and a board placed across the fenders (trying to reach that distributor is a
real bitch for anyone under 8' tall) the new distributor went in pretty easy.  and all seems well.

working skeleton crew at the plant yesterday, so i got the muffler all welded back together yesterday.

best christmas ever.

Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / it's like this
December 23, 2011, 07:26:20 PM

please post images or gifs that "sum it all up" for you
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / jesus cult
November 09, 2011, 10:04:34 PM
Hey PD,

I have an all-joking-aside serious matter that I could use some intelligent and unbiased input with.

I find myself in a situation where I'm strongly compelled to intervene on matters that are quite possibly none of my fucking business.

so, here's the story:

my wife's cousin, while in high school started going to this coffee shop called "he brews" (get it?).  at first the family (you should understand that this is a small town where "family" means extended family and not just mom and dad) thought this was cool because she was meeting and hanging out with christian kids instead of the pot head sons and daughters of alcoholics that she went to school with.  and, to her credit, she managed to graduate without getting pregnant.

she then graduated high school (barely) and went to college for, I believe, 1 year before dropping out and getting married and is now pregnant - due in April.  All of this would be great and I'd be really happy for everyone except for the jesus cult part of the story mentioned in the subject.

from what i can gather, there is a church near the coffeeshop run by the calvary ministries which, in it of itself isn't too bad.  they're very much into proselytizing, but pretty much harmless.

to complicate things, there is another group called Tribe of Judah .  I believe the owner of the "he brews" coffee shop is their leader and they all attend the cavalry chapel church.  they live in some sort of hippy compound in tents and stuff.

I didn't really have a problem with any of this, and - in fact have been kind of amused by my wife's family's reaction to being confronted with this extreme sort of christianity.  they were down right mad when they busted ass putting together a nice engagement party (cooking food, setting up tents, etc) only to have the groom's family hold a prayer to thank god for providing everything.  they were like - fuck you - we set this up.  we cooked all this food while you were playing frisbee.

what I do have a problem with is that she is pregnant.  they are living in an ancient, dilapidated house that someone gave them.  they haven't figured out what they are going to do for heat, but since neither one of them have jobs, they will probably try to burn wood.  the husband lost his drivers license (nobody knows why) years ago and is praying for the money he needs to cover his court costs to get it back.  they are praying for a new alternator for their car.  by praying, i mean - that is how they expect to get their car fixed - by praying for it.  also, did i mention she is pregnant and not seeking any sort of prenatal care?  they plan to do a home birth.  they say they have prayed about it and are comfortable with god's plan for them and their unborn child.

i wouldn't give 2 shits about this, and would actually be kind of amused by it all if there wasn't a pregnancy and birth involved.  in my mind, they are needlessly risking 2 lives. 


Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / dear PD
October 25, 2011, 10:33:33 PM
I've been mostly-lurking-occassionally-posting-sometimes-whilst-drunk-and-aggravating-the-regulars for longer than I can be bothered to look up.  Off the top of my head, is say at least 4 yrs.

I tried to quit, but (lets face facts here)
you're the most interesting forum I've found.

I have some issues, as I'm sure (some of) you guys do, too.
Anyhow, I thought maybe I'd start this here thread and we could have some sort if airing of grievances/who are you again? Sort of thing.

I apologize if there are wierd ass things in my posts. My only source of internets is my phone, and thumb typing auto correct is a pain in the ass.
Bad apples.
Free samples for your piece of mind
Only $9.95
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / the law
September 16, 2011, 10:49:24 PM
Ate we required, by law, to be human? I mean, what if I were an animal? Would that be legal?
I can't remember the last time I was as angry as I was today. Might be all time record.
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / IQ score!
September 16, 2011, 10:30:15 PM
Do you think that iq scores could be artificially inflated (or deflated) so as to influence the population?

Cuz either I'm a dummy or everyone else is.
September 03, 2010, 09:48:06 AM
Hey PD,

a while back, i got drunk and thought i'd see what it was like hanging out here whilst drunk.  i didn't have very much fun and decided i wasn't coming back here anymore. 

but the crushing boredom of nightshift kept bringing me back.  so i resigned myself to be a lurker.

however, it seems the forum is in a high state of creativity right now (i think it has something to do with the approaching winter, but that's another discussion)

anyhow, i've been feeling pretty creatively inspired by a lot of the threads going on around here lately. while i was reading the CD GASM* thread, i had an idea to do something similar.

i realized that i keep coming back here because you guys talk about the stuff that nobody talks about, so i present:


how it works:

if you want to play: record a spoken audio clip where you talk about something (or things) that nobody talks about.  the "nobody" here is people outside the forum, of course.  so, you know - things that aren't sports, the weather, politics, etc.  i'm sure there's something bouncing around in your head that you think is pretty amazing or awesome, but nobody talks about it.  or, if that doesn't work, you could talk about why nobody talks about those things.  spice it up with a little background music if you like, but try to keep the focus on the narrator.  also, i think it would be appropriate to record as though the listener has never heard of discordianism and isn't familiar with the lexicon.

once you have something recorded, shoot me a PM and I will provide you an email address where you can send the audio file.  (.mp3 or .wav)

when i have either a)received enough submissions to fill a CD or b)the deadline of 10/31/10 has been reached, i will post here that i'm no longer accepting submissions (unless i get such an abundance of submissions to warrant multiple CDs, but lets worry about that later)

it is assumed that all submissions are copyleft and intended to be duplicated and distributed.

after i have compiled all the submissions into a CD, i will post in this thread that the CD is ready for distribution.  Anyone interested in a copy can then send me a PM and I will provide an address to which they can send a blank audio CD inside a self addressed stamped envelope and I will copy the files onto the CD and send it back to you to listen to, enjoy, copy and distribute.

*i liked the CD GASM idea very much, it was the "what if people are afraid of viruses?" thought that got me thinking audio - i don't think you can give a CD player a virus. . .

i'm thick. 

good news: i figured out why the "brake" warning light came on in my truck

bad news: my brake lights don't work
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / IT'S A SICKNESS
January 10, 2010, 10:33:28 PM
this another topic of debate that the large animal/fight thread reminded me of. 

please defend your position if you vote.
i was reminded by the "largest animal/bare hands" thread.  this was a subject that came up often, back in the day. 

bear in mind that the average 5th grader is 4' 4" tall and 74 lbs. 
here in america freedomland, the "standard" piece of lumber is the 2x4.  (which is 1 1/2" by 3 1/2" - don't ask).  the "standard" sheet of anything is 4' x 8'

i'm just curious what the "standard" dimensions of building materials are over there where you guys live.  are they still in feet and inches?  if they are metric, are they the metric equivalent of what  the SI dimensions are, or are they different sizes altogether?
i'm not really anti-dentite, but i've been watching a lot of seinfeld lately. . .

anyhow - from age 18 to age 30, i didn't go to the dentist.  for the first few years it was cuz i didn't have insurance and was poor.  then, when i had coverage, i didn't go because i hadn't been for so long that i was too ashamed, etc, and i knew it would suck, blah blah - fast forward to age 30: a piece of one of my teeth broke off, so i figured i'd better get my ass in to see the dentist.  ended up getting 4 wisdom teeth pulled plus the tooth that a piece broke off of.  also ended up getting a bunch of fillings. 

now i go regularly and it isn't all that bad.

here's my problem:  my dentist says i need to get a bridge to replace the extra tooth they pulled.  it's gonna cost me $1700.  he says that if i leave that gap in there my teeth will all shift and cause me horrible problems later on.

being that i'm the paranoid type, it does occur to me that a dental practice probably makes gobs more money off of bridges, false teeth, implants, etc. than they do off of cleanings.  so, wouldn't it really be in their best interest to keep telling me i need a bridge, even if i don't really need one?  wouldn't it be more lucrative to keep telling me that my (remaining) teeth look great until they rot out of my head so they can sell me false teeth?

it's been 2 years with the missing tooth and i haven't had any problems yet - it's kind of a nice place to store a peanut for later.  i'm wondering how much i really need that bridge, so i'm curious as to what other people think about it.
GASM Command / Black Friday GASM
November 23, 2009, 07:20:26 PM
hey - so it just occurred to me that this friday is Black Friday (see Black Friday wiki page if you a) don't know what black friday is and b) aren't quite curious enough to google it yourself, but are curious enough to click on a link).

that means there will certainly be captive "audiences" all around the country that fit a very specialized demographic.

that also means many retail outlets will be wayyyy to overwhelmed to notice people putting stickers in places they don't belong, putting false coupons next to expensive retail items, etc etc - you know, that sort of malarchy.

so, ideally, now some brainstorming happens - even though what will most likely happen is that someone will point out this sort of shit has been going on for quite a few years and what i thought was an original idea wasn't.  but hey - who's ambitious enough to google their ideas to see if they're original?
this is the thread where i talk about motorcycles, my motorcycle and motorcycling experiences.

today i needed to run to the hardware store to get some shit.  it's normally a 20 minute drive - but today i took the scenic route and turned it into a 3 hour motorcycle adventure.  it was 43 degrees out, so carhart bibs were in order.  all in all i stayed pretty warm - feet got a little cold, but that's on account of having poorly (i.e. not) insulated riding boots. 

i saw a nice chunk of state forest that had been clear cut, so now i know where i can go get some firewood:

i also rode by the abandoned groveland mine:

there's really good fishing in the mine ponds here cuz the DNR uses them to farm fish to stock many lakes around the upper peninsula.

i think this winter i will try to ride at least once in every month - just to say i did it.
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / hey roger
November 08, 2009, 11:54:02 PM
A few days ago, after finishing yet another dreary midnight shift, I lay in bed raking the leaves of the evening into the further corners of my brain.  Rearranging the furniture.  Getting comfortable, so to speak.  I stumbled across a thought.  I got close to thinking it, but I was afraid.  This thought was covered in a thick black blanket of, well, blackness.  I poked at it a bit and noted it's location for further consideration.  But I just couldn't bring myself to think that thought.  I knew it was a horrible thought.  The most horrible thought I could ever possibly think.  I started to poke at it a little more, but recoiled in terror.  What if I accidentally thought the thought?  Would I DIE?  Does my brain know how to die?  Maybe it was a memory.  I didn't want to find out.  But now . . . I know it's there.  I hope it doesn't lurk around.  What if it's eating my other thoughts?  Getting stronger.

Have you ever found a thought like that?  Did you go ahead and think it? 
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / 70's Comedy
October 23, 2009, 10:07:58 AM
a lot of posts on this forum remind me of one or the other. 

please defend your vote.