Brand: Four Loko
Flavor: "Loko Uva"
Booze: 12%
Serving Size: 23.5 oz.
Stimulants: Taurine, Guarana, Caffeine
Other Known Ingredients: Artificial Flavor, FD&C Red #40, FD&C Blue #1
Tastes Like: A mix of grape soda and paint thinner
Verdict: Barely tolerable, as long as you're thirsty and it's kept ICE cold. Will probably drink again someday.
Rating (out of ten points): 3
Brand: Joose
Flavor: "Jungle Joose"
Booze: 9.9%
Serving Size: 23.5 oz.
Stimulants: Taurine, Ginseng, Caffeine
Other Known Ingredients: Certified Color, FD&C Yellow #5
Tastes Like: Equal parts Sweet 'n' Low, buttered popcorn, and burnt clutch.
Verdict: Hutus wouldn't have made Tutsis drink this stuff during the Rwandan genocide. If I were Haitian, drinking this would be the worst thing that happened to me this week. Would only purchase again for use as an insecticide.
Rating: Zero. As in, zero redeeming qualities. And zero chance I will ever drink it again.
That sounds ghastly!
(http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b131/chooch1268/Kyle_Moar.jpg)
Keep up the good work, soldier!
the Joose looks like this:
(http://img689.imageshack.us/img689/3599/me002b.jpg)
(http://img62.imageshack.us/img62/6239/me003.jpg)
:x Fucking hell, why would they make it that color?
WRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARH!!
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on January 15, 2010, 05:02:50 AMIf I were Haitian, drinking this would be the worst thing that happened to me this week.
:spittake:
I'm headed up to Seattle for the weekend, so I will probably have several more reviews ready when I get back.
Try one of these:
(http://alexcarrillo.files.wordpress.com/2007/09/sparks.jpg)
:lulz:
Will wait for your review.
:)
They don't make them anymore. They officially discontinued production of Sparks in late 2008 I believe.
...curious...we still get Sparks here in SD...
They still sell those here too.
Also something called "tilt". There's one of these in my fridge. Someone left it there. I don't wanna drink.
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on January 15, 2010, 05:02:50 AM
Brand: Joose
Flavor: "Jungle Joose"
Booze: 9.9%
Serving Size: 23.5 oz.
Stimulants: Taurine, Ginseng, Caffeine
Other Known Ingredients: Certified Color, FD&C Yellow #5
Tastes Like: Equal parts Sweet 'n' Low, buttered popcorn, and burnt clutch.
Verdict: Hutus wouldn't have made Tutsis drink this stuff during the Rwandan genocide. If I were Haitian, drinking this would be the worst thing that happened to me this week. Would only purchase again for use as an insecticide.
Rating: Zero. As in, zero redeeming qualities. And zero chance I will ever drink it again.
Joose is amazingly terrible. I have now sampled every flavor. They are all terrible. Like Con-Air terrible (in the sense that it's so bad you actually start to enjoy it). The buzz is deadly, as well, if you drink enough. That 9.9 sneaks up on you pretty quick. And the resulting hangover provides the feeling of a belly full of thumb-tacks. Bad things happen when the Joose is loose...
Quote from: Jenne on January 15, 2010, 09:40:14 PM
...curious...we still get Sparks here in SD...
Just because they stopped making it, doesn't mean there still isn't enough supply kicking around. :horrormirth:
I've got this strange feeling that ECH will never be able to find a good alcoholic energy drink.
Sure he will, just crush caffeine tablets into a powder and stir into his favourite beer.
Quote from: Rumckle on January 18, 2010, 10:14:13 AM
Sure he will, just crush caffeine tablets into a powder and stir into his favourite beer.
Or crystal meth. It's crystal meth in a can. Power Thirst is Crystal Meth in a can.
now I'm intrigued. What is this "Power Thirst"?
also, Suu, they totally still make Sparks. It's like the new MD 20/20 out here, in that any self-respecting high school kid has a couple cans in their backpack. They may have dropped it from the NE market, though, as I recall not seeing it anywhere in ME, NH, or MA for a couple of years now.
Quote from: Chief Uwachiquen on January 18, 2010, 10:30:34 AM
Quote from: Rumckle on January 18, 2010, 10:14:13 AM
Sure he will, just crush caffeine tablets into a powder and stir into his favourite beer.
Or crystal meth. It's crystal meth in a can. Power Thirst is Crystal Meth in a can.
Warning: MAY CONTAIN ANNA KOURNIKOVA
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on January 18, 2010, 05:53:14 PM
now I'm intrigued. What is this "Power Thirst"?
also, Suu, they totally still make Sparks. It's like the new MD 20/20 out here, in that any self-respecting high school kid has a couple cans in their backpack. They may have dropped it from the NE market, though, as I recall not seeing it anywhere in ME, NH, or MA for a couple of years now.
That's because everyone out here just drinks Jagerbombs.
There is only one "good" alcoholic energry drink and that is a triple vodka and red bull. And even that is questionable by most standards of taste and decency.
ECH's post-prep pre-lunch-rush breakfast of choice when working:
combine in blender:
1 banana (peeled)
1 raw egg (shell can be discarded, if preferred)
1/2 cup orange juice
1/2 cup frozen strawberries
1/2 cup milk
1 cup decent brandy or rum
blend until smooth, then pour into a 22oz. mug until about 1/2 to 2/3 full.
top mug off with 1/2 can of fruit punch-flavored Nos Energy Drink
stir gently with spoon to mix, then pound it down.
repeat, as you will usually end up with enough to make two mugs.
you won't have to eat for a good 12 hours and you will be totally ready to fistfight a rhino.
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on January 18, 2010, 08:16:18 PM
ECH's post-prep pre-lunch-rush breakfast of choice when working:
combine in blender:
1 banana (peeled)
1 raw egg (shell can be discarded, if preferred)
1/2 cup orange juice
1/2 cup frozen strawberries
1/2 cup milk
1 cup decent brandy or rum
blend until smooth, then pour into a 22oz. mug until about 1/2 to 2/3 full.
top mug off with 1/2 can of fruit punch-flavored Nos Energy Drink
stir gently with spoon to mix, then pound it down.
repeat, as you will usually end up with enough to make two mugs.
you won't have to eat for a good 12 hours and you will be totally ready to fistfight a rhino.
Copied, pasted, printed.
I get nervous with raw eggs.
Quote from: Suu on January 18, 2010, 09:39:38 PM
I get nervous with raw eggs.
I think with that much rum, the egg is pretty much cooked. But, they say egg substitutes don't have the same issues but all the same protien. IDK, the thought of raw eggs is just EWWW to me. I can drink the rest of it!!
you never notice the raw egg blended in with all that stuff. And I've been eating eggs raw and/or over-easy for most of my life and have never gotten sick from it once. the trick with raw egg is to not let it sit out at room temp for long, and to be sure to wash the shells (gently) before you crack the eggs open in the first place.
They also make pasteurized eggs, or you can gently lower it into boiling water for 1 minute then stick it in an ice bath.
I'm not scared of eggs, I've eaten shit WAY SCARIER from the back of my fridge :lol:
I've bee eating raw backyard eggs since I was a wee thing
ain't never killed me, even once.
Not even once?!?
Incidentally, POWERTHIRST (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRuNxHqwazs).
i love energy drink mixes with fruit juice, but what's the raw egg for, even? i mean, apart from I dunno, blending a raw egg into your smoothie, which is all kinds of cool.
proteins you say? but don't you need the proteins after doing hard work [for repairing/growing muscles], and slow carbs before?
also for alcoholic energy drink, I'd agree with Cain. Vodka, Red Bull and I personally like adding grapefruit juice myself. Also I prefer the "Slammer" brand of energy drinks we have in the Netherlands here, they're a quarter the price of red bull and IMO taste better [weird kind of hint of gasoline-ish flavour, yeah I know, but it's chemical juice anyway, plus it combines well with alcohol].
I'm just waiting for the massive health consequences that come about in a decade or so from these energy drinks. I don't drink them hardly at all, but I know a few people who can't live without them.
Yeah, people will start having failure of random organs. They're helpful from time to time, but should not be a habit. Red Bull, I know is worse for tooth enamel than coke.
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on January 18, 2010, 08:16:18 PM
ECH's post-prep pre-lunch-rush breakfast of choice when working:
combine in blender:
1 banana (peeled)
1 raw egg (shell can be discarded, if preferred)
1/2 cup orange juice
1/2 cup frozen strawberries
1/2 cup milk
1 cup decent brandy or rum
blend until smooth, then pour into a 22oz. mug until about 1/2 to 2/3 full.
top mug off with 1/2 can of fruit punch-flavored Nos Energy Drink
stir gently with spoon to mix, then pound it down.
repeat, as you will usually end up with enough to make two mugs.
you won't have to eat for a good 12 hours and you will be totally ready to fistfight a rhino.
Minus the booze and the energy drink, I live off of those from time to time.
I like to mix Krating Daeng (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Krating_Daeng) (aka Thai Red Bull) with vodka, cos that shit has some kick to it. But it can be hard to find here, plus I don't mix caffeine and alcohol that often anyway.
In the old days people just did lines in the bathroom and tequila shots at the bar...... :|
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on January 18, 2010, 05:53:14 PM
now I'm intrigued. What is this "Power Thirst"?
also, Suu, they totally still make Sparks. It's like the new MD 20/20 out here, in that any self-respecting high school kid has a couple cans in their backpack. They may have dropped it from the NE market, though, as I recall not seeing it anywhere in ME, NH, or MA for a couple of years now.
Definitely still sell it around here, at least in Southern NH and I'm sure I've seen it in MA too. Have to say, we only recently (few months ago) found out they took the "energy" crap out of Sparks, which is the only reason we ever choked it down at all. Not long after that, heading out fishing, my boyfriend and his friend discovered a dusty container of Joos in a nearly-bare liquor store (which should've been a good sign from the start). I wasn't there to try it but from what he said it was just as awful as ECH described
Quote from: Khara on January 19, 2010, 04:28:21 PM
In the old days people just did lines in the bathroom and tequila shots at the bar...... :|
Now your talking!
Quote from: Richter on January 19, 2010, 04:22:27 PM
Yeah, people will start having failure of random organs. They're helpful from time to time, but should not be a habit. Red Bull, I know is worse for tooth enamel than coke.
Repo Man?!
Quote from: Khara on January 19, 2010, 04:28:21 PM
In the old days people just did lines in the bathroom and tequila shots at the bar...... :|
being in Portland, I expect the cocaine would be organic, sustainably-farmed, carbon-free, and utterly worthless at twice the price. I'll stick to synthetic uppers, because I know what to expect from them.
Quote from: LMNO on January 19, 2010, 03:20:05 PM
Incidentally, POWERTHIRST (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRuNxHqwazs).
400 BABIES
LMNO, I see your Powerthirst and raise you a Brawndo (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tbxq0IDqD04).
Quote from: Sparkley Pink Shit on January 20, 2010, 01:25:09 AM
Quote from: LMNO on January 19, 2010, 03:20:05 PM
Incidentally, POWERTHIRST (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRuNxHqwazs).
400 BABIES
They can run as fast as KENYANS.
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on January 18, 2010, 08:16:18 PM
ECH's post-prep pre-lunch-rush breakfast of choice when working:
combine in blender:
1 banana (peeled)
1 raw egg (shell can be discarded, if preferred)
1/2 cup orange juice
1/2 cup frozen strawberries
1/2 cup milk
1 cup decent brandy or rum
blend until smooth, then pour into a 22oz. mug until about 1/2 to 2/3 full.
top mug off with 1/2 can of fruit punch-flavored Nos Energy Drink
stir gently with spoon to mix, then pound it down.
repeat, as you will usually end up with enough to make two mugs.
you won't have to eat for a good 12 hours and you will be totally ready to fistfight a rhino.
Except for the Nos that sounds delicious.
Caution: May contain Anna Kournikova.
Last night I got fucked up and energized on a mix of
- Vodka
- Naked Juice
- Seltzer
- Rocks
Probably wouldn't be as energizing for everyone as it was for me as I am sensitive to sugar, but it was fucking tasty. You can feel healthy as you beat the shit out of your liver!
Also, if you want to just wake yourself up in a "WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST DRINK!?" sort of way, I bring you The Burning Bush:
- Gin
- A fuck ton of hot sauce.
- A Jalapeño pepper
Let it sit for a bit, allowing the pepper's character to come out and the drink to get warm. Slosh it around in your mouth a bit. Scream something profane and blasphemous and then slam your empty drink down.
It has all the endearing traits of vomit!
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on January 19, 2010, 10:32:52 PM
Quote from: Khara on January 19, 2010, 04:28:21 PM
In the old days people just did lines in the bathroom and tequila shots at the bar...... :|
being in Portland, I expect the cocaine would be organic, sustainably-farmed, carbon-free, and utterly worthless at twice the price. I'll stick to synthetic uppers, because I know what to expect from them.
:lulz:
Quote from: Suu on January 19, 2010, 05:22:18 PM
Quote from: Khara on January 19, 2010, 04:28:21 PM
In the old days people just did lines in the bathroom and tequila shots at the bar...... :|
Now your talking!
THANK YOU
Brand: Four Loko
Flavor: "Fruit Punch"
Booze: 12%
Serving Size: 23.5 oz.
Stimulants: Taurine, Guarana, Caffeine
Other Known Ingredients: Artificial Flavor, FD&C Red #40
Tastes Like: Fruit Punch, if fruit punch were made in a prison toilet tank.
Verdict: Tasted better than either of the first 2 contestants, but made me void my bowels within 5 minutes of the first sip and left me with a very angry and pained gut after half a can. Could not finish.
Rating (out of ten points): Incomplete. Will try again tonight at the party and report on results of slamming an entire can.
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on February 13, 2010, 09:32:22 PM
Brand: Four Loko
Flavor: "Fruit Punch"
Booze: 12%
Serving Size: 23.5 oz.
Stimulants: Taurine, Guarana, Caffeine
Other Known Ingredients: Artificial Flavor, FD&C Red #40
Tastes Like: Fruit Punch, if fruit punch were made in a prison toilet tank.
Verdict: Tasted better than either of the first 2 contestants, but made me void my bowels within 5 minutes of the first sip and left me with a very angry and pained gut after half a can. Could not finish.
Rating (out of ten points): Incomplete. Will try again tonight at the party and report on results of slamming an entire can.
Sounds like it could be marketed to those "colon cleanse" freaks.
for sure. I mean, it didn't just make me shit, it emptied me. Including the stuff I had eaten for dinner less than 3 hours before, most of which was still recognizable (which may have been part of why my guts felt like I swallowed a cenobite).
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on February 13, 2010, 11:47:04 PM
for sure. I mean, it didn't just make me shit, it emptied me. Including the stuff I had eaten for dinner less than 3 hours before, most of which was still recognizable (which may have been part of why my guts felt like I swallowed a cenobite).
:x
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on February 13, 2010, 11:47:04 PM
for sure. I mean, it didn't just make me shit, it emptied me. Including the stuff I had eaten for dinner less than 3 hours before, most of which was still recognizable (which may have been part of why my guts felt like I swallowed a cenobite).
TASTES
GREAT
FEELS
EVEN BETTER
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on January 15, 2010, 05:21:50 AM
the Joose looks like this:
(http://img689.imageshack.us/img689/3599/me002b.jpg)
Quote from: Calamity Nigel on January 15, 2010, 05:25:02 AM
:x Fucking hell, why would they make it that color?
They didn't, the antifreeze company that originally made it did.
Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on January 18, 2010, 08:16:18 PM
ECH's post-prep pre-lunch-rush breakfast of choice when working:
combine in blender:
1 banana (peeled)
1 raw egg (shell can be discarded, if preferred)
1/2 cup orange juice
1/2 cup frozen strawberries
1/2 cup milk
1 cup decent brandy or rum
blend until smooth, then pour into a 22oz. mug until about 1/2 to 2/3 full.
top mug off with 1/2 can of fruit punch-flavored Nos Energy Drink
stir gently with spoon to mix, then pound it down.
repeat, as you will usually end up with enough to make two mugs.
you won't have to eat for a good 12 hours and you will be totally ready to fistfight a rhino.
This is YOM YOM YOM. :D
Bump. I feel I should revive this experiment.
You totally should.
If you're grossed out by the raw egg, isn't there some sort of protien poweder-plus-skim-milk sort of shit we can substitute?
No. Just no.
If a raw egg grosses you out, you're not ready for my amazing rhinofighting shake anyway.
Fine. I'll just put some crack in a sea-salt grinder and go to Smoothie King then.
I SAID GOOD DAY, SIR.
Quote from: navkat on January 12, 2012, 11:39:52 AM
If you're grossed out by the raw egg, isn't there some sort of protien poweder-plus-skim-milk sort of shit we can substitute?
For someone who lives reasonably close to NOLA, I don't know why a raw egg would freak you out. Over half of the drinks invented there are some kind of flip.
I've put unspeakable things into my mouth from off the floors of party venues whose ladies room toilet lids were held together by wire coat hangers and that no-slip tape the transgender strippers use.
That aside, I'm more of a sazerac kind of girl.
Oh, you've been to Good Friends on Dauphine as well?
Dragon's Den off Esplanade...Marigny side.
Is that the one that's next to a bar with a laundromat in it? If so, they were cranking out some of the worst dubstep I've heard during Halloween.
Ah, yes...good ol Basschurch. I miss it when it was all House Music in there. Brostep needs to fucking die.
I usually party a few blocks west at 1135 Decatur now. The pics of me from Ecksmas on my fb were taken there.
Guys? this isn't the "name-drop the shitty trendy bars in NoLa that you've been to that serve overpriced, needlessly complicated cocktails that taste bad" thread. If you want to do that in MY thread, please stick to discussing hideous dive bars that keep a bottle of bwabande behind the bar for particularly brave souls.
In other words, Snake & Jake's or GTFO.
Also The Boot on 50 cent pitcher night.
Have you been to the Dragon's Den? Filling my gut with Takka vodka is the only way I don't get food poisoning breathing the air in that place.
1135? Dude, on Halloween Team Vodka DRANK THEM OUT OF VODKA.
AND THEN WE LITERALLY DRANK ALL THEIR BEER. The bartender fucking loved us.
Oh, there we are!
(https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-NY_WCkpBEc4/Tw7uNEnfobI/AAAAAAAAAX8/FHrGSBtE24A/h301/12%2B-%2B1)
Ok, threadjack over.
Quote from: navkat on January 12, 2012, 02:29:44 PM
Have you been to the Dragon's Den? Filling my gut with Takka vodka is the only way I don't get food poisoning breathing the air in that place.
Have YOU been to Snake and Jake's?
I won't bother asking LMNO. Even Mr. Chop and Mr. Scratch wouldn't be able to save him if he walked into that place wearing nice clothes.
Jesus. I just missed you. I was there the night before and had plans to go back on H'ween but had an emergency in Mobile and had to drive back in a hurry that morning. FUCK.
(http://www.snakeandjakes.com/images/snake.jpg)
I dare you. Any of you.
I've heard it's nowhere near as bad as it was pre-Katrina. As far as I know there haven't been any fatal stabbings there this year.
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on January 12, 2012, 02:38:04 PM
Quote from: navkat on January 12, 2012, 02:29:44 PM
Have you been to the Dragon's Den? Filling my gut with Takka vodka is the only way I don't get food poisoning breathing the air in that place.
Have YOU been to Snake and Jake's?
I won't bother asking LMNO. Even Mr. Chop and Mr. Scratch wouldn't be able to save him if he walked into that place wearing nice clothes.
I didn't realize it was a contest but rather a standards water-level thing. Yes, S&J wins.
Yeah, dude. Worse than R Bar. Worse than Aunt Tiki's. You win.
Needless to say, I fucking love the place (or did, anyway - I'd be disappointed if it's actually not as bad as it used to be).
I don't think you have to worry. Short of razing the place, there's not much that can dress up that sow.
I was dating a girl who was going to school at Tulane (this was, oh...2001, I think?) and her and all of her fancy friends were absolutely HORRIFIED when I came back to her place, fairly drunk, and told them all that they needed to come with me to this awesome bar I had found a few blocks up the street. :lulz:
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on January 12, 2012, 02:46:18 PM
(http://www.snakeandjakes.com/images/snake.jpg)
I dare you. Any of you.
I've heard it's nowhere near as bad as it was pre-Katrina. As far as I know there haven't been any fatal stabbings there this year.
My bar of choice used to have a shooting a week. Out front, of course: guns and swearing weren't allowed inside.
Man, where have the golden days gone?
It's true, Nigel. The kids these days just don't have the fortitude required for Saturday Night.
I can verify that Four Locos are highly effective gut cleansers.
For $2.69 and the possibility that you won't even remember it, that's a bargain.
Bah, they're worthless now. There's no caffeine in them anymore. If I just want cheap disgusting alcohol I'll go for MD 20/20.
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on January 15, 2012, 05:28:48 AM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on January 12, 2012, 02:46:18 PM
(http://www.snakeandjakes.com/images/snake.jpg)
I dare you. Any of you.
I've heard it's nowhere near as bad as it was pre-Katrina. As far as I know there haven't been any fatal stabbings there this year.
My bar of choice used to have a shooting a week. Out front, of course: guns and swearing weren't allowed inside.
Man, where have the golden days guns gone?
Must be suitable for 007.
BUMP because I am doing horrible things with alcohol at the moment.
The high pepper concentration is making it impossible to get drunk.
I'm sweating a lot though.
Quote from: East Coast Hustle on January 18, 2010, 08:16:18 PM
ECH's post-prep pre-lunch-rush breakfast of choice when working:
combine in blender:
1 banana (peeled)
1 raw egg (shell can be discarded, if preferred)
1/2 cup orange juice
1/2 cup frozen strawberries
1/2 cup milk
1 cup decent brandy or rum
blend until smooth, then pour into a 22oz. mug until about 1/2 to 2/3 full.
top mug off with 1/2 can of fruit punch-flavored Nos Energy Drink
stir gently with spoon to mix, then pound it down.
repeat, as you will usually end up with enough to make two mugs.
you won't have to eat for a good 12 hours and you will be totally ready to fistfight a rhino.
And when the scholars came and sifted through the rubble of this vast ancient civilization, terrible and banal as though an entire empire had been made up of snack-deprived toddlers, they found nothing of redeeming value.
Nothing, that is, save for one lone post riding through the desert in a Honda full of silver.