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Today, for a brief second, I thought of a life without Roger. It was much like my current life, except that this forum was a bit nicer.

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Topics - Doktor Howl

#101
LMNO, who exposed me to the GAY AGENDA.  It went something like this:

6:00 AM:  GAY alarm clock goes off.  Hit snooze to have 9 more minutes of BIG GAY DREAMS.
6:30 AM:  Eat your GAY Cheerios, prance out the door.
7:00 AM:  Get on the MBTA, change universes from our NORMAL one to the BEARFORCE1 dimension.  Dance on Subway to Elton John's I'm Still Standing.
7:30 AM:  Arrive at GAY job, have a great big cup of GAY coffee.  One of those frou-frou ones. 
8:00 AM:  Do financial dark arts.  Explain nothing.  Say horrible GAY things to the SEC investigators, then throw them down the elevator shaft.
12 PM:  Light lunch.
1:00 PM:  Office dance party.  Mandatory fabulousness. 
2:00 PM:  BIG GAY MEETINGS.
3:30 PM:  Back to the MBTA.  Leer at terrified passengers.  Return to our dimension.
4:00 PM:  Come home, greet wife. 
7:00 PM:  THE GAY BAR.
10:30 PM:  Stagger home, pass out unconscious in Divine Underoos. 

More to follow.
#102
You bump into an unstable EoC in a grocery checkout line.  He in turn cuts Nullified off in the parking lot because he was thinking about what a jerk you were.  Nullfied gets pissed at him and tries to follow him out of the parking lot to give him a piece of his mind.  Nullified, of course doesn't see LMNO in his shiny 4X4 and runs right into him.  LMNO won't stand for that and pumps two rounds from his shotgun into the freak that scratched his truck.  The Cops show up to take down LMNO.  After riddling LMNO full of holes, all of LMNO's kin come crawling out of every swamp yankee nook and cranny to wreck havoc on the town constabulary.  This gets the State's National Guard contingent in on it as well as the state's local gun nut/conspiracy theorist/militia types.  This war expands to include the Army and Marines.  Our weakened defense posture from internal strife gives the Chinese and some mid-east terrorists the idea that the US is falling.

They launch strikes against the US who retaliates in kinds with much more effective nukes.

The world ends.

Because you were rude.
#103
You can't get the Catholics to apologize for molestation, genocide, standing by while the Nazis killed people, or any of that.  Likewise, the Mormons won't apologize for anything, either.  But we here in the Best of the One True Churches™ are bigger people than that, so here goes.

Dear Benighted Heathen Swine:

We in the Church of Discordia™, Inc, would like to apologize for our many and varied crimes against humanity.  While a complete list of our villainous deeds would be too long to publish, and too difficult to explain to a pack of apostate scum like yourselves, you should take the apologies for the listed items below to also cover all the minor things we have done.

1.  We're sorry we were rude.  We shouldn't have horse-laughed at your pitiful and obsequious observations of your fake holy days.  For all we know, Jesus (or Mohammed, or Buddha, etc) really is interested in the bottom line, and Black Friday is the holiest day ever.  It may even be the case that Christmas really is about Jesus, and not about some morbidly obese old man violating FAA regulations in a sleigh pulled by some deer.  We can't see that, but that doesn't mean it's not true.  Also, while we are not sure how Easter is about Jesus rising from the dead as a rabbit that poops tie-died eggs works, but we really shouldn't have to...It's your religion, and we laughed.  Very sorry.  And that Torah thing, well, sorry about that, too.  If we had stopped to think for a moment, we would have realized that lighting the bush on Mount Sinai on fire again doesn't actually phone God and was very insensitive.

2.  We're sorry that we can't act right.  We were only trying to help when we showed up to coach your Pentacostal seizures and your speaking in tongues.  We now see that this must have made you very uncomfortable, and we feel just awful.  Likewise, when we showed up to help you at your anti-abortion rally, it was with the best of intentions.  It's just that we were all on drugs and may have wandered slightly off message.  In addition, we're sorry we laughed at your funny hats.  But they're funny.  Nevertheless, we shall attempt to act more appropriately in the future.

3.  We're sorry about the pope card thing.  We realize NOW that you find the pope, patriarch, etc, thing to be sacred or holy or something.  So do we; we feel your pain.  Only we view holiness in a totally different light, and popes and imams really are a dime-a-dozen.  This is something we may have to agree to disagree on, but next time we won't hand a pope card to the actual Catholic pope, seeing as how he obviously already has one. 

4.  We're so very sorry for The Incident.  The voices in our heads told us it would be hilarious, and we really didn't think things all the way through.  (Note:  This is not to be taken as a legal or civil admission of guilt.  Our only official response is that issued through our legal counsel.)  It is our sincere hope that, after a few years of therapy, you'll be right as rain.

5.  We're sorry about the economy.  Indeed, we have expelled Professor Cramulus from our religion as a direct result of his shenanigans...We weren't amused, either.  Blowing economic bubbles just to watch them pop isn't clever or amusing, and he really should be ashamed of himself.  It's like wanking to images of the Laffer curve, really, and we regret having anything to do with the bastard even IF he IS actually sorry about what happened to your cat's penis.  Which is debatable at best.

6.  We're sorry our death ray didn't work, mostly because there are still humans that we have to apologize to for all the other crap we've done.  If we had spent more time working and less time huffing 'stache, this letter itself would not have been necessary.

Yours truly,
Doktor Hamish Howl
Official Spokesman
The Church of Discordia™, Inc.
#104
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / Wait. What?
November 30, 2019, 05:41:29 AM
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/nov/29/ohio-extreme-abortion-bill-reimplant-ectopic-pregnancy

QuoteOhio bill orders doctors to 'reimplant ectopic pregnancy' or face 'abortion murder' charges
#105
I was at first thinking it would just be 78 cards with me saying "SHUT UP," but then I thought about it and we could definitely have fun with this.

Cain - The Magician (Pic should show him holding a mouse instead of a wand, though)
ECH - The Heirophant
QG - The High Priestess
Dr Howl - The Fool (duh)
Suu - The Empress
Cramulus - The Devil (again, duh)
Nullfied - Death (on account of reinventing herself on the regular)


Add people in, you don't have to stick to the major arcana, or add yourself in.
#106
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / Cain
November 22, 2019, 01:59:46 AM
Go here.  You'll like it.  Not for trolling.

It's about as busy as PD.

http://readerrant.capitolhillblue.com/ubbthreads.php?ubb=cfrm
#107
"You have the right to undervalue your rights."
#108
https://apnews.com/fb92709abf944e8f980321ebc8b96622

QuoteThe American Medical Association on Tuesday called for an immediate ban on all electronic cigarettes and vaping devices.

The group adopted the sweeping stance at a policy-making meeting in San Diego. It aims to lobby for state and federal laws, regulations or legal action to achieve a ban, but the industry is sure to fight back.

The AMA cited a surge in underage teen use of e-cigarettes, which typically heat a solution that contains nicotine.

"It's simple, we must keep nicotine products out of the hands of young people." Dr. Patrice Harris, AMA's president, said in a statement.

The doctors' group said a separate health issue also prompted its action — the recent U.S. outbreak of lung illnesses linked to vaping. Most of those sickened said they vaped THC, the high-inducing ingredient in marijuana, not nicotine. Officials believe a thickening agent used in black market THC vaping products may be a culprit.

Because we all know that illegalizing something makes the black market go away.   :lulz:

This is dumbassery at its finest.  Let's remove the regulated shit, leave the black market shit, and let people decide between poisoning themselves with black market product, or go back to smoking actual cigarettes.

Kinda makes me wonder who's behind all this mess.  Wait, scratch that, I'm lying.  I know who is behind it.  RJ Reynolds.
#109
Post your findings.

#110
Everyone knows that I am the legitimate Mexico, despite EoC's PARTISAN WITCH HUNT.  The rumors of me being a lizard person are FAKE NEWS started by EoC and his deep state cronies.  It is time to get back on track.  It is time to get BIGLY FOCUSED.  EoC is 100,000,000 years old, it's time for him to go home.  Besides, nobody in Mexico likes stegosauruses.  They're BAD NEWS.
#112
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / Your daily rage.
November 14, 2019, 08:23:10 PM
If you're having a bad day, don't read this.

https://apnews.com/4af7e346b990476d97ad1ee8db618cca
#114
High Weirdness / Cattle Mutilating is back.
October 02, 2019, 05:30:03 PM
https://www.apnews.com/3db8829a222e45b08ed93834f792e9c5

QuoteColby Marshall, vice president of the Silvies Valley Ranch that owned the bulls, has another theory: "We think that this crime is being perpetuated by some sort of a cult."

EoC has the meat sickness on him again.
#116
Aneristic Illusions / Saudi Arabia vs Iran. FIGHT!
September 16, 2019, 03:53:29 PM
So this happened.

https://www.apnews.com/3c3ce6a941f5489eaa778ccc5db2437c

QuoteDUBAI, United Arab Emirates (AP) — Global energy prices spiked Monday by a percentage unseen since the 1991 Gulf War after a weekend attack on key oil facilities in Saudi Arabia caused the worst disruption to world supplies on record, further fueling heightened tensions between Iran and the U.S.

American officials released satellite images of the damage at the heart of the kingdom's crucial Abqaiq oil processing plant and a key oil field, alleging the pattern of destruction suggested Saturday's attack came from either Iraq or Iran — rather than Yemen, as claimed by Iranian-backed Houthi rebels there. A Saudi military spokesman later made the same accusation, alleging "Iranian weapons" had been used in the assault.

Iran rejected the allegations, with a government spokesman saying now there was "absolutely no chance" of a hoped-for meeting between Iranian President Hassan Rouhani and President Donald Trump at the U.N. General Assembly next week.

For his part, Trump sent mixed signals, saying his "locked and loaded" government waited for Saudi confirmation of Iran being behind the attack while later tweeting that the U.S. didn't need Mideast oil, "but will help our Allies!"

(more at link, pics of damage at link)
#117
Aneristic Illusions / Good Night, Funnyman
August 23, 2019, 02:54:57 PM
https://www.apnews.com/ed43f9c20fef40fbbad07c6897f819b3

QuoteBillionaire David Koch, conservative donor, dies at age 79

WASHINGTON (AP) — Billionaire industrialist David H. Koch, who with his older brother, Charles, transformed American politics by pouring their riches into conservative causes, has died at age 79.

Charles Koch announced the death on Friday, saying, "It is with a heavy heart that I now must inform you of David's death."

David Koch, who lived in New York City, was the Libertarian Party's vice presidential candidate in 1980. He was a generous donor to conservative political causes as well as educational, medical and cultural groups.

The Koch brothers were best known for a vast political network they built that became popularly known as the "Kochtopus" for its far-reaching tentacles in support of conservative causes. The brothers founded the anti-tax, small government group Americans for Prosperity.

One of the two architects of Citizens United is dead.  What a shame.
#118
1.  Don't put anything in your ear that's smaller than your elbow.
2.  A nation doesn't go bad in two years.  It was already rotten, it's just that you could ignore it because it wasn't happening to you.
3.  You can't go back.  Thomas Wolfe was a dumbfuck, but he got that right.
4.  A bacon sandwich is worth any number of coworkers.
5.  Simply Red AND the Moody Blues together are still not as good as Deep Purple.
6.  All humans should get on the bus.  WeeOOOWeeOOO.  Like right fucking now.  Fuck it, just go stand by the stairs.
7.  American Science & Surplus sells a de-weaponized bazooka.  I don't even know where to start with that shit.
8.  No matter how much you loathe people, they won't believe you really loathe them, because they are special.
9.  You apparently cannot kill humans just by loathing them.
10.  You can normalize anything, no matter how grotesque and orange it is.
#119
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / Hey Vex
June 10, 2019, 05:16:38 PM
You want to let folks know the Mitch Royce account has also been permanently killed?
#120
1.  If my Antarctic expedition finds frozen bodies of an alien species, I will leave them where the fuck they are.  And I will leave.  And I will never tell nobody, nor will I leave a cryptic diary laying around.

2.  I will not join any research effort that involves being in a deep sea habitat.

3.  I will never, under any circumstances, investigate a derelict ship/spaceship of any kind.  I will blow it up and tell nobody.

4.  If my team reports that they have located an anomaly on the moon, I will tell the press they are crazy and arrange fatal accidents for everyone involved.

5.  If the engines involve shifting universes to bypass physics, I will have the researchers responsible shot and the records burned.

6.  Aliens are not on my side.  They're *aliens*.  Why does this have to be explained?  WTF is wrong with people?

7.  When agents from <acronym> arrive to look at the site, I will have them shot from ambush and blame it on the libertarians.

8.  When my old colleague shows up on my door after twenty years, babbling about some horror, I will call the police and have him beaten and removed.

9.  If the AI becomes self aware, I am throwing kitchen magnets on the housing until it shuts the hell up.  Also, air gaps.

10.  Why the fuck am I on a space station and there are no vacc suits?  Who the hell ordered this?
#121
Some of these were movie rants I bastardized, some were original.  I am writing them until the Star Trek watch party page gets back to Star Trek and stops playing Goddamn Cowboy Bebop.

Anyways:

QuoteOkay. Here's the deal.

I'm not here to waste your time. I hope you're not here to waste mine.

So I'm gonna keep this short.

If you become an member of this crew, you will kill your first cardassian within three days.

Okay? I repeat that:

You will kill your first cardassian within 3 days of your first day on Deep Space 9.

There is no question whether or not you'll become a soldier here.

The only question is how many times you'll do it.

You think I'm joking?
I am not joking.

I am blob security chief. It's a weird thing to hear, right?

I'll tell ya. It's a weird thing to say.

I am a fucking blob security chief.

And guess how old I am? Two thousand years old.

You know what that makes me here?
A fuckin' blob.

This base is entirely comprised of people your age, not mine.

Lucky for me, I'm very fucking good at my job, or I'd be out of one.

You guys are the new blood. You're gonna go home with the Cardassian pelts.

You are the future big swinging dicks of this base.

Now, you all look battle hungry, and that's good.

Anybody tells you violence is the root of all evil doesn't fuckin' know about Kevin.

They say violence can't make you feel better? Look at the fuckin' smile on my face.

Ear to ear, baby. You want details? Fine.

My backpack's got jets.

What's up? I have ridiculous quarters in the center.

I have every weapon you could imagine, and best of all, kids...

I am liquid. I am a blob.

So, now you know what's possible. Let me tell you what's required.

You are required to work your fucking ass off on this base.

We want winners here, not pikers. A piker walks at the bell.

A piker asks how much vacation you get in the first year. Vacation?

People come and work at this base for one reason: to kill Cardassians.

We're not here to make friends. We're not savin' the Federation, guys.

You want vacation time?
Go teach third grade, public school.

Okay. The first three months at the base are as a trainee.

You make a tenth of a bar of pressed lantinum a week.

After you're done training, you take the shuttle out.

Pass that, you become junior gunnery and you open comms for your team leader.

You kill 5 Cardassians, you start workin' for yourself. Sky's the limit.

Word about being a trainee.

Friends, parents, other security team members, they're gonna give you shit.

It's true. Less than a bar of pressed latinum a week? Not a lot of money.

Pay them no mind.

You need to learn this business, and this is the time to do it.

Once you pass the test, none of that's gonna matter.

Your friends are shit.

Tell them you killed 20 Cardassians last month, they won't fucking believe you.

Fuck them! Fuck 'em!

Parents don't like the life you lead?
"Fuck you, Mom and Dad."

See how it feels when you're bombing their colony.

Now, go home and think about it.
Think about whether it's really for you.

If you decide it isn't... It's nothing to be embarrassed about.

It's not for everyone.
Thanks.

But if you really want this...

you call me on Monday and we'll talk.

Just don't waste my fuckin' time.

Okay. That's it.

QuoteWell, you know, I have to admit that I appreciate your directness, Chakotay, and I will try to be as direct and honest with you as I possibly can be. I think-no, I am positive-that you are the most unattractive man I have ever met in my entire life. You know, in the short time we've been together you have demonstrated every loathsome characteristic of the male personality and even discovered a few new ones. You are physically repulsive, intellectually retarded, you're morally reprehensible, vulgar, insensitive, selfish, stupid, you have no taste, a lousy sense of humor, and you smell. You're not even interesting enough to make me sick."
- Captain Janeway, balls-deep in a bottle of scotch

#122
RPG Ghetto / Rappan Athuk 2019
April 12, 2019, 02:56:28 AM
Okay, it's time for Rappan Athuk again, as there are not nearly enough PC corpses choking up the harbor.  Running two groups, Saturday and Sunday, in the Lost Lands campaign area (Rappan Athuk, Slumbering City of Tsar, and Tomb of Abysthor). 

Medium track, 25 point buy (5 extra points because "Rappan Athuk"), 6 players per group.  One group will be doing tomb of Abysthor and then Tsar, the other group will be doing Rappan Athuk (Classic entrance) after a short lead-in arc.  Write ups will be posted here.

For the Rappan Athuk group, we have
1.  Paladin
2.  Wizard (going into rogue and then arcane trickster)
3.  Cleric (going into Holy Vindicator at 9th level)
4.  Ranger (trap archetype)
5.  Bard  :lulz: 
6.  Samurai

I have not gotten the info back from the other group, which will not actually start for a couple of weeks after the RA group starts.

Bear in mind that this campaign area has an 85% mortality rate. 
#123
Aneristic Illusions / UNLIMITED 2020 THREAD
March 01, 2019, 08:53:02 PM
It's time.

Already. 

Stop screaming, you're upsetting the goldfish.


Kicking off this horrorshow, Bernie Sanders misses an excellent chance to shut his big fat spoiler face:

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/sanders-says-hes-not-interested-in-asking-hillary-clinton-for-2020-advice/ar-BBUg7Ga?ocid=spartanntp
#125
So, you think you're pretty clever, there, with your futures contracts with HIMEOBS.  You got a put on LMNO's mustache and a margin account in your pants, and the gains are permanent, get in before you are priced out forever, right?  And sure, you only have to put up $2000 to get in on the mustache on margin, and you'll sell the wad before it comes due. 

That's how it's supposed to work, if you listen to a certain crowd.  You know the crowd.  Fake mustaches, pipes, vaguely-Cramulan business notions?  But what they AREN'T telling you is that they have leverage in their pants, and that leverage is about to be YOU.  Hoops, for example will teach you more about a BULL market than you really wanted to know, LMNO is Caa at best, and Queen Gogira has stagflation droppin' outta every orifice and she will slap you in your junk bonds, if you know what I mean.  And I think you do.




#126
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / Richter Spotting
January 21, 2019, 01:14:32 AM
#127
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / Ray Sawyer died.
January 01, 2019, 02:06:11 AM
:cry:
#128
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / Attn, Vex & Gogira
December 30, 2018, 08:40:23 AM
You want to let folks know I caught a 3 day ban for referring to Trump as The White Trash Hitler? 

I don't suggest you quote that.  :lulz:
#129
Everyone had finally had enough.  Things had gotten just plain silly, and people started losing their shit. 

LMNO decided that Trump was only a symptom of the will of the people.  Then he realized that was only a symptom, because who gave Man free will?  The last time we saw him, he was banging on the Pearly Gates, telling God to come out and explain himself...With a half a dozen archangels on the ground around him and the 7th, Michael, staggering away with a fat lip.  Unfortunately, The Mgt chose to get involved in that point, to "hold the side up," before God noticed the ruckus.  This is how we got the other other grand canyon, and LMNO was never seen again.

Queen Gogira found the main nest of proudboys, and crawled in with a baseball bat and locked the door behind her.  There were disturbing noises and howls of pain, but the door never opened again.



#130
The very last thing The Jeep did was protect my wife and youngest kid.

Pour a little out for my homie.  :cry::cry::cry:

Pictures tomorrow.  I am in deep mourning right now.
#131
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / More Tucson
December 03, 2018, 04:00:48 AM


#133
Aneristic Illusions / UNLIMITED Nazi Thread
November 21, 2018, 05:16:28 PM
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/the-boy-and-girls-of-white-nationalism-proud-groups-labeled-extremist/ar-BBPVJGh?ocid=spartanntp


Interesting note is that MSNBC has no problem siding with Mcginnes if antifa is the subject of a discussion (bolding mine):

QuoteThe Proud Boys have became known for their unapologetic misogyny, opposition to Muslims, and violent street brawls with so-called anti-fascist groups that made headlines.

#136
After kissing McConnell & Trump's asses on November 7th, she is now trying to weasel-word the fact that she plans to do nothing at all.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/pelosi-says-democrats-approach-to-subpoenas-will-be-very-strategic/ar-BBPzGxA?ocid=spartanntp

Quote"Well, we are responsible," Pelosi said Sunday. "We are not scattershot. We are not doing any investigation for a political purpose, but to seek the truth. So I think a word that you could describe about how Democrats will go forward in this regard is we will be very strategic."

Or, more to the point, she won't allow anyone to do anything.
#137
https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/markets/stocks-end-another-volatile-day-near-correction-territory/ar-BBOUQAP?ocid=spartanntp

What you SEE is the stock market correcting.  What you DON'T see is the bond market correcting.

#138
Aneristic Illusions / UNLIMITED Jeff Flake Hate Thread
October 23, 2018, 11:02:35 PM
This thread is to capture the whining and mush-mouthing of my senator, Jeff Flake.  You may remember him as Jeff "I hate this but I have to vote for it" Flake.

He's at it again:

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/gop-sen-jeff-flake-'i-don't-know-if-i-believed'-brett-kavanaugh/ar-BBONDBD?ocid=spartanntp
#142
Cramulan thinking and methodology will not help you "hook up".  They will not make you dance better.  They WILL, however, fuck up your skin, make your teeth fall out, make your face curl up like a fist, and cause you to think you have bugs under your skin.

Stick with 'stache.  It's a better high, and it won't make your nose suppurate.
#144
(Note:  I am inviting Cain, Brother Mythos, Chaotic Neutral Observer, QG, and LMNO to add their own entries to this, on any subject related to 21C.  Vex and Cram, too, if they're around.  EDIT:  Also Hoops, even though he is a savage)

12:19AM, 10/7/18, Tucson, Arizona, American Empire
Music

I didn't meet any of you until the 21st Century.  My life has been divided between the two centuries, one foot in 32 years of the last century, the other foot being 18 in this one.  I was informed by David Bowie and Freddie Mercury, I am now listening to Imagine Dragons and Fun, which are already of course old hat.  Music doesn't stand still, and I don't move as fast or break as many things as I used to.

This makes a fun contrast, really.  I Want to Break Free vs NaturalZiggy Stardust vs Some Nights

I Want to Break Free is a song about finding yourself, finding love, then losing it, and all the fallout that goes alongside it.  Freddie is telling you how to survive having your heart broken.  Natural is about functioning at all times with a heart of stone...Even when Dan Reynold's voice has the exact opposite effect on you.  Reynolds isn't in the same league as Freddie Mercury, not really, but he has a good range and he's not afraid of it.   Reynolds is telling you to avoid heartbreak by not having a heart to break in the first place.  He's not pimping actual sociopathy, of course, he isn't describing good people and he wants you to know that.

Ziggy Stardust talks about alienation brought on by the title character being a genius that is a half-step out of phase with everyone around him, plus substance abuse.  Here is a man that isn't on the same wavelength as everyone else, but is trying to drag anyone along with who wishes to go.  Things get out of hand, the band breaks up, and his fans are left without their leader when the "Spiders from Mars" show up.  I'd say these spiders would be the horrors of everyday life, but with Bowie it's a little hard to tell.  Might have been actual spiders from actual Mars, for all I know. Some Nights, on the other hand, is about alienation brought on by disgust with the shitty deals and shitty compromises that the 21st century shovels down your throat until you can't remember what your values are.  At the end, he confronts his infant Nephew and realizes that not everything is awful.  Both are realistic takes on their own respective eras.

At the moment, though, I have a lot of time for Dan Reynolds.  He doesn't hold with the Cramulan notion that there are deeper things under the surface.  He will not tell you that there is freedom, if you can trick your mind into ignoring the conditioning that is drummed into you from birth.  He's here to tell you how things are, what things are going to happen to you, and sells you the idea that you can kick their asses if you're serious about having a good time.  Not that you'll win; instead, that you can make enough space to do you, but that this comes with a price tag.  Your ass-kicking also changes you, so by the time the party starts, you're not really the same person that accepted the invitation (With Bowie, you're not the same person when the party ends).

I dance to 1970s Abba and 2012 Neon Trees, I drive to 1970s Motorhead and 2010-ish Frost Heaves and maybe some of P!nk's more angry stuff.  I do not feel bound by genre, but the general feel of pop & rock informs the way I move my thing.

And given the horrible nature of the world today, moving your thing is a mental health tool.





#145
My wife and I were a 18th century frigate.  She was apparently some kind of mathematical savant who helped with navigation, who also happened to be blind.  Since she was blind on a ship, she was constantly sea sick, so she was wearing a rubber dress, which was kinda hot.

Anyway, 3rd Lt LMNO wanted to speak with me.  He seemed a little upset, so I moved my ass.  Above me in the rigging, Seamen Cram and Cainad were singing a sea chanty that went "O, Ricky, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, hey Ricky, Hey Ricky".  When I got to Lt LMNO, he expressed his concern that why wife was showing a bit of ankle around the crew.  He was smiling, but I could tell he was angry.  The more he smiled, the angrier he got.

"But it's just ankle," I said, "What's wrong with showing a little ankle?"

"HURRRP" *splash*, Jenn added.

"You can't show ankle in a pressure suit."  Replied LT LMNO.

"Wait, what?"

"What are those men doing?"  He asked.

I looked, as Cram and Cainad faded out of sight, leaving only fake mustaches.

"I think they're fucking off, sir."

"Never mind, here comes the captain."

The captain walked onto the deck, and as usual, we could only see him from the neck down, and even then only bits of him at a time.

"First read up ^ Then read down v" He said, "BLOW THE BALLAST TANKS"


"HURRRP" *Splash* Jenn replied.


(And that's all I remember)
#146
https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/inside-the-ticker/ges-dollar500000000000-market-wipeout-is-like-erasing-facebook/ar-BBNMhyw?ocid=spartanntp

Remember GE?  They're not even on the Dow Jones anymore, after a solid century of dominating it.  They have lost 5/6ths of their value, for a whopping half a trillion dollars.

Thing is, they didn't lose their market share to technology changes, like 3M and the insufficiently-nimble Toshiba.  They lost it because they outsourced to the absolute lowest bidder for 30 years, until they became a byword for "catastrophic failure" in power plants, etc.  To try to save themselves, they divested themselves of Thomas Edison's light bulb company, which was the only earner they had.

In short, they have demonstrated a level of incompetence that couldn't be topped if you did it on purpose.
#147
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / Maps
October 01, 2018, 05:28:18 PM
So, I've been trying to plot out everyone's maps here at work.  I plan to flesh these out a bit.  I am trying to be as honest as I can about all of this, or it's useless to me.

Boss's boss:  This place is a couple of golf courses with a resort-esque town stapled on the end of it.  His worthless employees cannot keep the resort part going without whining about cash.

Boss:  This place is a military unit that is severely dysfunctional and would everyone please stop the cutthroat shit because it's getting kinda scary.  (He just retired from the air force and has very odd ideas about how the civilian workplace operates.  I've been there.)  Can't we just get things done?

Evil HR Lady:  A BIG HAPPY FAMILY (with her as the first among equals, of course.)  THE PENALTY FOR NOT HUGGING IS DEATH.  HR would be less messy if there were no people.

Me:  This place is busted and we have work to do.  Things that get in the way of the work are bad.  If you simply must be sick, die at home so you don't infect the rest of the crew.  Yes, the situation is really that bad.  No, there is no line item for your feelings.  GET OUT THE WAY.

More later.
#150
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / Hi, it's me.
August 31, 2018, 08:31:14 PM
Hi, it's me.  This is more complicated than it sounds...I am not the me I was when you first met me (especially you old timers), and believe me when I say that this can be uncomfortable.  I am not the me that raced cars on Book Road back in the day.  I am not the me that stood horrified in a pumphouse under the streets in Panama.  I am not the me that worked for a dodgy cargo airline when some of you met me for the first time.  Let's skip a bit...I am not even the me that wrote Little Orange and Hell in a Dry Place.  I have changed, as you have changed, as everyone changes.  To expect a person to react the same way to a given stimuli over a half-century isn't realistic.

The hard part, the part that took that entire half-century, is to understand that yourself.  That you aren't the same person you used to be.  Maybe you're better, maybe you're worse, maybe you're neither, just different.  But once you DO realize that, you remove an enormous burden of false expectations from yourself, and the affect that has is some pretty strong mojo.

I am not Shaky, Mozart of the M16.
I am not The Good Reverend Roger, screaming out rants.
I am not Padre Dolor, delivering the hurt.
I am not Little Billy, taunting the Pagans.
I am not Doktor Howl, explaining your doom to you in terms you understand.

I am a mish-mash of all of these people, and "we" are stronger for realizing that.  I am a ball of aggregate Horror™, and I am not impressed by the puny villains we have today.  Trump and his hordes of waterhead Nazis may be dangerous to some degree, but they have no opera.  They are banal.  Boring.  This should change.

On the other hand, this entire future is kind of banal and boring.  It is a flimsy thing, built on shaky foundations by drunks who never even bothered to look at the blueprint.  It is the intensely monotonous accumulation of wealth into the hands of a tiny group of people while the rest of the world starves - or is facing the specter of starvation - and drinks filthy water.

And I think maybe that needs to change, as well.

Or Kill Us.