The problem with most Message Board Suicides (MBS) is that most people leave the traditional and appropriate things out. Those whom you are attempting to make feel guilty need to feel the lows of the depression to which they have pushed you.
Forgetting to add things such as, "No one understands me, and the only people I've ever reached out to just wanted to anally rape me with sporks." really tends to leave the reader without feeling the emotion. Remember, creativity is always a good thing! Emo music is your friend (and it is recommended that you listen to as much Emo music as you can before witting the final draft of your note).
One should always describe the act of self desecration that one is going to preform. Instead of leaving it at "I'm going to go slit my wrists now." One truly needs to say, "I am going to go grab the largest knife I can find and kill my little dog* (the only being in the universe who loves me, unlike you fucktards!!!) with it, then I will drench myself in his blood and slit my wrists from wrist to elbow while screaming 'SATAN TAKE ME' at the top of my lungs, until the Dark Lord himself comes to take me." This really does add to the guilt factor, knowing how far you were pushed so that you could plan out such a terrible death for yourself just adds that nice little polish to any MBS.
There are two schools of thought on listing the names of the people who pushed you to your suicide. They are (obviously) to name, or not to name. When one chooses to name the culprits of ones despair it makes those people feel extra guilty, this is the depth approach (it also has the added benefit of making everyone else on the board hate those people!). When one chooses to say something to the effect of, "I won't name who it is, but you know who you are!" then one puts a small bit of guilt into everyone on the board, this is the breadth approach. It is also possible to take a middle of the road approach, but not recommended as that diffuses the full force of the guilt, resulting in a lessened overall guilt level.
Please consider these things carefully in your next MSB note. Remember, if other people don't feel guilty about it, then your death was as worthless as you are. You dirty little piece of motherfucking shit.
*No cute little puppy dogs were murdered in the witting of this article. That was saved until afterwards.
What you really needed to write was Flouncing 101.
Same damn thing.
Hey Khan, if I ever decide to write a board suicide note, can I run it by you before actually posting it?
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomHey Khan, if I ever decide to write a board suicide note, can I run it by you before actually posting it?
If you ever do a board suicide, I suspect you are going to take out a lot of people first. And yeah, in a creepy dark poetic something sort of way, he did a good job :shock: :twisted:
Why of course Bella, I'll be more then happy to proof read and give you a few pointers.
And, thank you =)
Quote from: Zurtok KhanWhy of course Bella, I'll be more then happy to proof read and give you a few pointers.
Cool. It's a deal - I won't kill my internet-self unless/until you proof read my suicide note.
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of AlchemyIf you ever do a board suicide, I suspect you are going to take out a lot of people first. And yeah, in a creepy dark poetic something sort of way, he did a good job
Me? You suspect sweet little ol' me of taking other people down with me?
Guess you know me better than I thought, huh?ps: Creepy dark poetic somethings are the best, don't you think?
This is great stuff. Seriously.
I've been plotting to off someone else and leave a fake MBS note behind to cover my tracks. But I just couldn't figure out how to write a totally killer flounce. Do you reckon it would be overkill if I were to name myself as the person who drove my victim to offer themselves up to the Dark Lord? Then I could go into pretend spasms of crying and wailing and beg y'all to forgive me. 8)
ps: I need someone to practice on. Are there any volunteers?
sure, why not?
8)
Really? :twisted:
It'll take a while to make my preparations.
In the meantime, you just go about your business and pretend you don't know you're about to be a victim, okay?
We have a twelve step program for that, Illusion. $39.95
You do? Wow! Where can I sign up?
Quote from: illusionReally? :twisted:
It'll take a while to make my preparations.
In the meantime, you just go about your business and pretend you don't know you're about to be a victim, okay?
yeah. I think I'm contractually obligated as long as I'm wearing this black hat.
8)
Take that hat off right now! You have to at least pretend to be an innocent martyr that everyone hates for no reason.
Otherwise people will suspect that it was actually a murder and not a suicide.
I know these things because I work in the court system.
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomQuote from: Zurtok KhanWhy of course Bella, I'll be more then happy to proof read and give you a few pointers.
Cool. It's a deal - I won't kill my internet-self unless/until you proof read my suicide note.
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of AlchemyIf you ever do a board suicide, I suspect you are going to take out a lot of people first. And yeah, in a creepy dark poetic something sort of way, he did a good job
Me? You suspect sweet little ol' me of taking other people down with me?
Guess you know me better than I thought, huh?
ps: Creepy dark poetic somethings are the best, don't you think?
Heh. Naw! Bella is just as peace loving as I am.
Or was it pieces loving?
Never mind. Nothing to see here folks. Move along.
Nice piece, Zurtok, BTW.
Quote from: illusionTake that hat off right now! You have to at least pretend to be an innocent martyr that everyone hates for no reason.
Otherwise people will suspect that it was actually a murder and not a suicide.
I know these things because I work in the court system.
I dunno...my martyr complex doesn't need to be faked, but I'm not sure I can pull off the "innocent" bit.
8)