Messages

oops...i think i wwas thinking of Optimistic Fatalism, not Optimistic
Realism....

What horab said would be Optimistic Realism...so, erm...scratch that...

hmm....i don't care too much aboot privacy....

sure, do me a tarot on the boards if you want...or whatever...
i don't really have a preference.

actually, the "right way" (i never get tired of saying this) is completely
subjective. the world didn't "turn out" any specific way either. the world
would technically have to end for the world to have actually turned out
a particular way.

and, as i said, it's completely subjective and relative to your personal
vantage point on the whole thing. for example:

if one were to view the current state of affairs through the eyes of
Optimistic Realism, one could conclude that (a tenent of Optimism) that
this is the best that it could possibly be right now.
(one of the main tenents of Optimism is that things are always the best
they can possibly be)

or i could be wrong.

methinks you should probably read through some old greek mythology,
particularly any accounts you can find on the "Decision of Paris",
Kaos (the greek origin of Chaos), Kallisti (duh), and prolly a good long
sit, with a good view of your penial gland.

[import from 1kbwc]

[Just Friends]

Hey Honny,
i'm sorry, it really isn't working.
i'm sure we can just be friends.
no matter what happens between us,
you'll always be my friend. i just want you to know
that it's not you,
it's me.
-signed Pope Nietzsche, Saint Bastard, KSC, et al.


playing this card render's eris' (even potential) attraction null.

that's right eris. i'm literally playing the "Just Friends" card.

take that!!!

Um *quietly* you might not want to tell a goddess how to behave...

oh, it's okay. i think me and eris worked things out (kinda)...

she played [Nana's Words of Wisdom] on me in our on going, real-time
game of 1kbwc.

the only caption on that card is:
"Nevah marry a shikza! Oi Vey!"

kinda makes sense now. basically, i need to find me a nice discordian
gal. it's the only option i have left, for starters. and for another, i wasn't
completely convinced that there were discordian women at all until i
stumbled on this site. there seriously should be more discordian gals.

why is it, do you think, that the discordian populace tends to be
predominantly male?

in case someone here hasn't heard the idiom yet:

if electricity is made by electrons, then is morality made by morons?

i don't think i've ever had indiscriminate hate before.

and rarely have i hated someone enough to kill them. oit really takes a
lot to piss me off. let alone to piss me off that much.

i've almost killed my sister before. i definitely could have gotten away
with it. i would have obviously been suspect, but i could have covered my
tracks too well, and misdirected too well, as well, to have been caught.

i don't think that morality was what made me *not* kill her, though. no,
it definitely wasn't a moral. nor was it an ethic.

i think it was (queue cheesy cliche music) hope. i was hoping that if my
sister were spared from my ability and desire to wipe her slate, so to
speak, that she would wipe her slate and turn around. no such luck though.

she's 16 andpregnant right now. she's spent the last year and a half in and
out of juvenile hall and on ankle monitors. her criminal record includes
petty theft/shoplifting, assault and battery (multiple counts), grand theft,
forgery, grand theft auto and violation of parole (many counts, including
drug abuse- yes she's stupid enough to do drugs while on parole with
random and scheduled drug testing- and running away after cutting the
ankle monitor device off her leg...what a great child)

from the vantage of a zero sum game, i should have gacked her. i can't
honestly account for one thing positive that she's done in the past 5 years.
from the vantage of old testiment justice and morality, she'd already have
been long dead. islamic tradition (mid eastern-eastern) as well.

anyways, the particular incident in which i could have killed her and wanted
to kill her, etc..she was flipping out, trying to kill me at the time...so it
would have been justifiable. so i don't think it counts...

would i though? no chance of being caught, i hate this person more than
anything, in fact as much as i could possibly hate something, but incidently
i hate this persopn foir no reason whatsoever. i just hate them.

yeah, i prolly would kill em. i could never see myself feeling that way,
especially for no reason, but i likely would kill him/her if those circumstances
applied.

YAY! HUGS!

OH! OH! OH HO HO!!!!


i forgot to mention a slight detail...one of those cheaters on my track
record (the most recent ex) is also a mormon.

a MORMON!

that's right, pity me!!!!

no no....he doesn't dictate to painted stick...

he used painted stick to finish StillLife w/ WoodPecker

perhaps this sensation is

                 aquired
   
    from shelving books for a living
                                                   i don't know


but i've noticed that letters and numbers seem to have this permanently
affixed expression. some of them look happy. some of them look proud.
some of them look angry. some look goofy.

let's look at the alphabet first:

A.   A looks rather bold,  very Assertive. nice and angular, it looks sturdy
and reassuring.

B. B has an attitude. i don't know why. probably because B came in
second to the A. B is definitely a male Letter, and also a GreyFaced Letter.

C.  Cis pretty much just chillin there. "Okay, i didn't get to the front, but
hey, i could be a lot farther into the alphabet than i am." says C, and smiles.

D.  D is a very happy Letter. you can tell. That's why we use the D when
we do the emoticon for a big, shit eatin grin. :-D

...

X, Y, Z, Q.

these are just the Weirdo Letters. They don't Fit it with the other letters'
expressions. they stand out, like individuals in a high school. They Know
that they are different and they like it. i deem these letters to be Discordian
Letters.

then there are some numbers, too that do this.

1. 1 seems a very arrogant number to me for some reason.

2. the number 2 strikes me as condescneding. though happy. though
still condescending.

3. 3 to me seems to be one of the jokers among the numbers. i mean,
i looks like a butt...it looks like boobs...it looks like a backwards E. it even
looks like a side-ways nut sack. anything that looks like anatomy can't be
taken too serious. though i'd watch out for masons while dealing with 3's.

4.  4's seem like A's to me, prolly from hanging out with hackers. when i
see a 4, i think..."hey, it's an A, only it's moving!"

etc

i think you all need to take a rather long sit.

everyone knows that tom robbins publishes his books
through means of telepathy. in fact, if you guys would have been there
for that great belly dancer...salome was her name i think...
you'd be able to use telepathy too and you could hear him writing the
book as he writes it.

she telepathically publishes them from his secret laboratory nestled
snuggly in the deep jungles of the Doggon.

duh

[import from 1kbwc]

[Just Friends]

Hey Honny,
i'm sorry, it really isn't working.
i'm sure we can just be friends.
no matter what happens between us,
you'll always be my friend. i just want you to know
that it's not you,
it's me.
-signed Pope Nietzsche, Saint Bastard, KSC, et al.


playing this card render's eris' (even potential) attraction null.

that's right eris. i'm literally playing the "Just Friends" card.

take that!!!

goddess i hope not.

no offense to eris...i mean she's hot and all but...

that it.....i ahve to do this now....

read my next post:

Dear Bella,

luck with the ladies has been, while not bad, rather weird.

i think eris is playing tiddly winks with my sex life.

the basic run down goes:

one was crazy (like, xanax and pheno crazy), 3 were cheaters, one was
a cheater and also crazy, and left me for my "gay" best friend, another
only wanted a slice of my nut-berry pie, another let me believe she was
interested while she wasn't at all interested, another one dumped me
because i was, and i quote, "too nice...", another used me as a piece of
meat...

the most recent one just found out she's 1 month pregnant from her ex.
(i knew i shouldn't have said "what else can you throw at me eris?" while
drunk and pissed off a few weenends ago...)

any fnording clue what's going on here bella?

(also, my hostess campaign idea)

(also, as a preface to this, you must know the evil nature of twinkies.
twinkies are the indestructable shells for evil in this world. they suck your
soul out of your body when you bite into them if you aren't careful.
for more info on twinkies, i think this site still exists:

        http://www.twinkiesproject.com/
)

picture: a man standing on a corner, waiting for a bus to show up. another man walks up, "did you know that twinkies can suck your soul straight out of your body?" the man waiting for the bus says "really!?!? let me try!!!" and then he has his soul sucked out of his body....

"Twinkies: Suck your soul out of your body for safe keeping"
**********

picture: a man trying to write a song...he's so desperate, he says "i'd sell my soul if i could write a chart topping song..." then the devil appears and says "i can arrange that...muahahahaha!"  then the scene freezes, and satan steps forward to give a testimonial...

"Hi, my name is Satan, Lucifer, The Dark Prince, etc...I frequently deal in the soul selling business...when i hear someone say, 'i'd sell my soul...' the first thing i do is grab my twinky....i only trust the most soul sucking-ist for my safe keeping of souls..."

"Twinkies: Two out of Three Demons prefer them"
**********

Picture: a man at a convenience store. he walks to the check out counter.
upon reaching the counter, he's faced with a dilemma: he has enough
money left for a treat, but he has to choose the twinkie or the Hoho.
he looks at the twinkie, and cheesy evil horror movie music with
screeching violins starts playing. he looks at the Hoho, and soft, angelic
heavenly music starts playing. he looks at the twinkie. the hoho, the
twinkie. the hoho. the twinkie, the hoho, the twinkie, the hoho.......

he grabs the Hoho.

"Hoho: The Safe Alternative"

one time while i was taking a shower in gym class, this kid looked at me and said that his pet gopher was loosing all his hair and then he walked out of the showers and i was all alone thinking about hairless gophers and i got weirded out so i left the showers too

then then while i was putting my socks on after the shower, coach came up to me and said (coach is my friend tom), "it doesn't really count as cheating if you aren't really gay" and then he winked at me and walked out of the locker room with a grimace on his face and a bounce in his step...that's when i noticed that he had a tail.
***********

usually i'll sing a song about how i have this bunch of cocoanuts and they're standing in a row and whatnot, but one day i got hungry and ate all my cocoanuts, so now i have nothing to sing about. the moral of the story is: don't eat your own nuts.
***********

leprechauns are real....they're the fifth generation that resulted from the cross breeding of a leper colony and some escaped prison inmates.
***********

Even The Reaper Eats Hotdogs. this is scientifically proven by the neuro-chemical-pseudo-psycho-ectoplasmic residue left near all dead people, hotdog stands and the frozen foods isle of every supermarket in the nation.