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Sometimes I rattle the cage and beat my head uselessly against its bars, but sometimes, I can shake one loose and use it as a dildo.

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Topics - Anna Mae Bollocks

#1
Apple Talk / HAY DOK! (news from the Seguin front)
April 11, 2020, 06:42:18 AM



:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
#3
Humanity is humanity, it's chock full-o-stupid fucks. Twas ever thus.
But in WWII, somehow they rallied everybody to KILL NAZIS.
I can't credit Pearl Harbor, that was the Japanese.

But somehow, people gave up sons, lovers, nylons, chocolate, etc. etc,. ad infinitum in order to WIPE OUT FUCKING NAZIS.

Now we have a nazi president and nazis marching in the street on the 75h anniversary of D Day.

How in the everloving fuck did they manage to get everybody on the right page back then?

#5
Apple Talk / UNLIMITED LOUISIANA APPRECIATION THREAD
January 28, 2014, 07:10:59 AM
You can click over from this link and read the actual complaint.
http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2014/01/27/3206551/bhuddist-sixth-grader-harassed-teacher-told-change-religions-transfer-bible-belt-lawsuit-alleges/

QuoteA Louisiana teacher who taught her sixth grade class that evolution is "impossible" and that the bible is "100 percent true" ridiculed a Buddhist student during class and announced that those who don't believe in god are "stupid," according to a lawsuit filed by the American Civil Liberties Union of Louisiana.

When the child's parents reported the incidents, the Sabine Parish superintendent allegedly told them "this is the Bible Belt," and asked whether the child, referred to as "C.C." could either change his faith or transfer to a school where "there are more Asians."
#6
http://www.ebay.com/itm/ODE-TO-GEORGE-ZIMMERMAN/121241194531?_trksid=p2046732.m2060&_trkparms=aid%3D111000%26algo%3DREC.CURRENT%26ao%3D1%26asc%3D27%26meid%3D3703584769041561993%26pid%3D100040%26prg%3D1011%26rk%3D2%26rkt%3D4%26sd%3D111245075978%26

QuoteSeller Notes:    "In All-American condition"
Greetings.for the last month you could have bought this lovely little illustration called " Joy All Around" for $25 here on EBAY . In light of the recent bid of $100,000 for a crappy painting done by an "artist" who's only claim to fame is he killed someone, I said to myself.....Edd...........even though I haven't killed anyone it's time to sell-out and ask $50 Included is my signed handwritten note for the ad and the Sharpie , signed of course, used to write the note.
#8
Apple Talk / Open Bar: ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL
December 02, 2013, 08:25:54 PM
Wow.
Yeah, I heard Thursday was Thor and Friday was Freya, then it jumps to Saturn, Sun and Moon. NO WONDER THE WEEK SUCKS, IT'S ALL ECLECTIC PAGAN.
#9
Apple Talk / Is there some kind of legal STFU order?
November 08, 2013, 04:17:41 AM
Kind of like a cease and desist, but not about intellectual property?

What it is, is some friends have a psycho older half sister (same mom). Their dad (deceased) was a musician, pretty well-known. Never legally adopted the half sister but she uses his last name, swears she's his natural daughter and runs around the internet telling people all kinds of crazy lies, saying his real kids are strung out, gay (they're not), whatever else she can think of. She's mad at them because they don't want anything to do with her, but you can see why. She's done it at online article comments, blogs, youtube comments, facebook, she even went to the Find A Grave memorial page and did it.

Most of the time you can get people to remove this stuff, but it's a time consuming pain in the ass. And even when you can't, birth records are public, just link to it, but this crap is everywhere and you never know where it's going to pop up next.

And there's another one, one of their dad's old groupies that tells everybody she was his wife and uses his name. That one's an online annoying piece of work too.

Anyway, nobody wants a court battle or any of that, just wondering if there's some kind of letter to make them shut their cake hole.

Thanks in advance.  :)
#10
Apple Talk / ATTN: DOUR
November 05, 2013, 04:14:16 PM
MILLIONS OF SCREAMING YAHOOS VOL. 1 is THA BOMB. Is there going to be a volume 2? I want to see the transition from mook to cop, and the jar of teeth. This thing is fucking mythic. Starts out chilling (hits the ground running, holy fuck) and transitions to horrormirth.

Somebody told me years ago that meth labs are generally run[/] by bikers, but they're owned by judges and high law enforcement, who have their finger in all kinds of shit. Sounds about right, but I've never seen a comic about it. The puking is an especially nice touch. :lol: And the goats. And it's got Curly and Nigel in the text. What's not to love?

Kim kicked ass with the art. I'd have been sitting there going "How the fuck do I draw THAT?"  :lulz: Fucking BRAVO.





#13
Apple Talk / UNLIMITED ROOMIE APPRECIATION THREAD
October 18, 2013, 12:50:28 AM
Because a lot of us need this thread every now and then.  :lulz:

Sooooo, we have an extra room. And when you need income, the thing to do is rent it out. I was thinking of running an ad, but my daughter wanted to get someone she knows. OK, sounds good.

First person she asks, who I like, expects her to take her to work every day at 3 AM. Daughter understandably says fuck, no. Then the other day, she says her friend Melissa needs a place. She vouches for her. Awesome.

Yesterday evening, she says Melissa will be bringing her boyfriend and little brother. Oh, and they won't have any money for a couple of weeks. I say FUCK NO. She says they're living in their car and I feel like an asshole. Just because nobody gave a fuck when I was in that situation doesn't mean I have to be a dick. So I say OK, but if they don't come up with *something* in two weeks, or they fight and bring the cops out, they're gone.

They move in late last night, I was in bed already.

This morning I get up and my douchebag is hanging on the outside knob of the bathroom door. Nobody used it, it's not wet, they just moved it. I didn't have it in the way, or where anybody had to touch it. WTF?

I go to the living room. Somebody left the lights and ceiling fan on all night, I turn them off. Note to self, explain that this shit costs money.

There's a big piece of junk mail on the hassock. I grab it to throw it in the trash and weed goes everywhere. The hassock is in the line of sight of the front door. Good thing nobody knocked. Note to self, etc.

I go to brush my teeth, the cap is off of my toothpaste. Somebody used it, which isn't a big deal, but if they didn't bring toothpaste I have to assume they didn't bring toothbrushes, either, and used mine. I'd've GIVEN them fucking toothbrushes if they needed them, the ones I get come two to a package and I always have extras, but fuck that now. And if you're gonna sneak my toothpaste, have the courtesy to put the damn cap on. I get my stuff out of the bathroom and put it in my closet.

I go out to the deck for a smoke. There's a cigar butt on the rail, and ashes and smudges where they stubbed it all over the rail, EVEN THOUGH THERE'S A BIGASS ASHTRAY RIGHT THERE.

OK, I get the translation: Somebody's telling me "FUCK YOU".

I talk to my daughter. She talks to Melissa and tells her to get her bf in check.

Ten minutes later they go wandering outside and he leaves the front door wide open. WITH THE AC ON.

Me and my daughter need to make a run to the store. Have to wait for them to move their car, they have her blocked. But that's OK because there's just the one driveway, not a lot of parking.

We're at the store and we're bickering. I'm saying I don't have a problem with Melissa but that guy really, REALLY has to go. Daughter wants me to shut up. I CAN'T. I'm getting adrenaline rushes and shit.

We get home, and he's parked in the driveway AT THE OUTSIDE END. Daughter tells me to go tell him to move his shit and peels out to make a few blocks and cool off.

I go in and say "YOU MOTHERFUCKING MORON, MOVE YOUR GODDAMN CAR NOW." He says "She told me to park it there." I say "THE FUCK SHE DID, YOU'VE BEEN FUCKING SHIT UP SINCE YOU GOT HERE AND I'M NOT GONNA BABYSIT YOUR MORON ASS LIKE A BRAIN DAMAGED TWO YEAR OLD."

He smirks and walks just as slow as he knows how. I want to hit him with a chair. Little snot nose trying to be all hard because his face is tatted up and shit. Fuck him.

They go outside, he moves his shit, my daughter pulls in, they talk. She comes in and wants to know why the fuck I talked to him like that. I'm like "What, he can disrespect us nonstop and I'm supposed to suck ass with him? I don't think so." I explain that guys like that are the ones who have tantrums and break shit and put their fist through the wall. Guys like that are the ones who have tantrums and put WOMEN through the wall. I can't live with that motherfucker. I've been through it. She's seen it. She remembers it.

She gets it. I see the light come on.

Melissa is welcome to stay but he has to go. She tells them. They all go. Melissa's welcome back any time, but without him. I don't think we'll be seeing her though.

And that was my day. My daughter rocks.
#17
Aneristic Illusions / WTF, Snowden???
July 07, 2013, 05:01:05 PM
http://www.addictinginfo.org/2013/07/06/have-we-all-been-fooled-by-edward-snowden/

QuoteThis new information has me pondering exactly who this guy is: is he the concerned whistle-blower? Or did he have an ulterior motive to spill what he did? His background isn't really CIA or NSA material, so say a few people I've spoken to who actually have worked for a government contractor. So why was he hired? And why did he pick now to speak out? This has never smelled right to me, which is why I have withheld judgement. But these new revelations create even more questions. Is this whole thing a ruse to make the President look bad? If so, who is funding it – who is paying for all his travel and hotels? Or is Edward Snowden, a man who has completely destroyed his own life, just stupid?

#18
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/17/supreme-court-decisions_n_3453917.html

QuoteThe court also decided that a court can use silence against a defendant against him before Miranda rights are given.

Besides that sentence making no sense, it sounds like you're fucked if you speak and you're fucked if you don't.
#25
Apple Talk / PICS VIII: 10% LARGER THAN PICS VII
April 12, 2013, 04:16:37 PM
George Takei just posted the following:



QuoteThe stars did not shine. I was horny all day.
There were no boobs to play with the whole Milky Way.
I sat there with Spock. We sat there we two.
And I said, "How I wish we had gals like Uhuru here, too."

Too dark for torpedoes or phasers or shields.
So we sat in the bridge, stared at nebula fields.
So all we could do was to Sit! Sit! Sit! Sit!
Or maybe we shat. Hell, I don't give a shit.

And then something went GRUMP!
How that grump made us jump!
He transported in past our shields just like that!
The Internet Meme, the ol' Grumpy Cat...

(Edited for thread split/maintenance - Roger)
#28
Apple Talk / NOT JEWISH IN WIKIPEDIA
February 22, 2013, 02:46:49 AM
Because people just did stuff like leave everything they knew back home in Germany in the 30's to do stuff like go to other countries. And they had SO MUCH FUN they never went back! Or they somehow ended up dying of unknown causes. At something called a "camp".

Quoted with full permission:



Quote"Well, if you ever wondered why I hate Wikipedia, here's why: Read the Wikipedia article on Jean Goldkette, then read what a real scholar has written here, in Vintage Jazz Mart Magazine: http://www.vjm.biz/new_page_7.htm Notice what's missing? (Massive head shake.)"

"Mention of a person being Jewish is regularly removed from biographies at Wikipedia. The topic is an ongoing issue between warring editors, some of whom require "proof" that a person self-declared as Jewish in a published venue, a step that few of our ancestors felt was a requirement for being a Jew. Without that published self-declaration, these editors re-write biographies of famous Jews into strange and twisted formations, claiming, for instance, that "we cannot know" why a person with a well-known Jewish surname emigrated to America, say, in 1938. I have seen some editors claim it could just be a "coincidence" that the Nazis were imposing restrictions on Jews by then, even going so far as to state that "for all we know, the emigration might have been motivated by a search for a better job, because we have no published self-declaration that this person was a Jew." It is sheer madness, and an attempt to cover up Jewish identities at Wikipedia. The Jean Goldkette Wikipedia article is an example of this sort of racism in action.

"Example (this is my mother's first cousin): "Franz Theodor Reizenstein (7 June 1911 – 15 October 1968) was a German-born British composer and concert pianist. He left Germany for sanctuary in Britain in 1934 and went on to have his career there, including teaching at the Royal Northern College of Music and Boston University, as well as performing." He is not JEWISH, of coure. They removed that. But "he left Germany for sanctuary." WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN? Just, you know, everybody was doing that...?

"Later in the same article, having removed the fact that Franz was Jewish (and thus making NON-sense of his having "left Germany for sanctuary") they state that "The family was Jewish." Again, what the fuck? The "family" was Jewish and Franz "left Germany for sanctuary." Uh.... do these two ideas not go together? Not related in any way? According to Wikipedia, no, they are non-connected ideas in different parts of the article. A young reader would have to know the "secret decoder language" that would allow them to tie together the date of emigration and the random comment about the family.

"Here's another example, not my writing, but, again, i knew the man. He attended synagogue. This is from the Wikipedia biography of Will Eisner, a comic book writer and artist: "Eisner was born in Brooklyn, New York City, the son of Jewish immigrants." Also, " Eisner continued with a string of graphic novels that tell the history of New York's immigrant communities, particularly Jews." Again, according to Wikipedia, Eisner himself is not Jewish, but he is the "son of Jewish immigrants" and he wrote about "immigrant communities, particularly Jews." Will EIsner always spoke openly of being Jewish as part of his self-identification. But as far as Wikipedia is concerned, he is not to be "Jewish." Only his parents are.

"Here is MY OWN BIOGRAPHY on Wikipedia. For the record, I am Jewish and openly have published and declared that fact in print and on the radio, but according to WIkipedia, "her mother, Liselotte Erlanger, was an Ashkenazi Jewish refugee from Germany." In other words, according to Wikipedia, I am NOT Jewish, but my mother is!

"Another example. Here we have the famous Marx Brothers comedy team. Jewish, right? NO! Acccording to Wikipedia, they are NOT Jewish. "Born in New York City, the Marx Brothers were the sons of Jewish immigrants from Germany and France." They are the "sons of Jewish immigrants." They themselves are NOT JEWISH IN WIKIPEDIA.

"Here's another example: Albert Einstein, well known physicist, and you probably thought he was Jewish, right? Nope. he is NOT JEWISH IN WIKIPEDIA. Here is what is said: "He was visiting the United States when Adolf Hitler came to power in 1933, and did not go back to Germany, where he had been a professor at the Berlin Academy of Sciences." HUH? What? Oh, later in the article we learn about his PARENTS again -- not him, just his family: "The Einsteins were non-observant Jews." But Albert, no, not him. He is NOT JEWISH IN WIKIPEDIA -- just a guy who took a vacation to the United States.

"Here's another example, a relative of my family: "Heinrich Bernhard Oppenheim (July 20, 1819, Frankfurt – March 29, 1880 in Berlin) was a German publicist and philosopher concerned with the ideas of liberalism, free trade and international law. Oppenheim was son of a Jewish family of bankers in Frankfurt." He was NOT JEWISH IN WIKIPEDIA. His parents were ... but he was not. (Except, of course, that he was.)

"Here's another example, another relative of mine: "Maximillian Oppenheimer (6 May 1902, in Saarbrücken, Germany – 26 March 1957, in Hamburg, Germany[1]) – known as Max Ophüls – was an influential German-born film director who worked in Germany (1931–33), France (1933–40), the United States (1947–50), and France again (1950–57)." Well, isn't it interesting how he moved around from 1933 - 1950? But is he Jewish? Nope. He is NOT JEWISH IN WIKIPEDIA. His parents, of course, are Jewish in Wikipedia: "Max Ophüls was the son of Leopold Oppenheimer, a Jewish textile manufacturer from Saarbrücken and owner of several textile shops in Germany, and his wife Helen." But Max himself? Jewish? No-no-no! He is NOT JEWISH IN WIKIPEDIA. Just another German guy who took an extended vacation in the 1930s and never returned home to Germany.

"Here's another example, from the Wikipedia biography of Erich Salomon: " Erich Salomon (28 April 1886 – 7 July 1944) was a German-born news photographer known for his pictures in the diplomatic and legal professions and the innovative methods he used to acquire them." He is NOT JEWISH IN WIKIPEDIA. There is a hint of trouble (not JEWISH trouble, God forbid!) in this line from his biography at Wikipedia: "After Adolf Hitler came to power in Germany, Salomon fled to the Netherlands with his wife and continued his photographic career in The Hague. Salomon declined an invitation from Life Magazine to move to the United States." Hmmm... wonder why he "fled" from Germany? Let's read on! According to Wikipedia, "He and his family were trapped in the Low Countries after Germany invaded in 1940. Salomon and his family were held in the Westerbork Transit Camp, then for almost five months in Theresienstadt concentration camp and were deported from there to the Theresienstadt Family Camp in May 1944. He died in Auschwitz on 7 July 1944." Gee, that's too bad. Hey, I wonder what he died of! Okay, reviewing our biography, we now know that we have learned the life-history of a man named Erich Salomon. He "fled" Germany at some point in time for unknown reasons, he was "trapped in the Low Countries after Germany invaded" there, and he died in some place called ... hmmm, what was it? ... oh, yes, "Auschwitz" ... of unknown causes. Too bad for him, but not really our concern, it was just some "German thing," I guess, because Erich Salomon was NOT JEWISH IN WIKIPEDIA.

"Now, to be fair to Wikipedia, here is a counter-example: At Wikipedia we learn about Pavel Haas: "Pavel Haas (21 June 1899 – 17 October 1944) was a Czech composer who was murdered during the Holocaust." Of course, lots of folks were "murdered during the Holocaust," including gypsies, Catholics, and political activists. Was Pavel Haas Jewish? Well, his parents were, it seems, for, according to Wikipedia, "Haas was born in Brno, into a Jewish family. His father, Zikmund, a shoemaker by trade, was from the Moravian region; while his mother, Olga (née Epstein), was born in Odessa." So his parents and possibly some other relations (such as my own Epstein and Haas relatives, no doubt!) were Jewish, and, eventually the truth comes out in this statement: "In 1941, Haas was deported to the Theresienstadt concentration camp (Terezín). He was one of several Czech-Jewish composers there, including Viktor Ullmann, Gideon Klein and Hans Krása." So ... Pavel Haas IS JEWISH IN WIKIPEDIA. At least for now."

I played around with it for awhile. She appears to be right.
#29
Principia Discussion / 2 things
February 13, 2013, 03:52:01 PM
Faust: What happened to the quotes you used to be able to find from the main page here?

And

Whose is this? http://discordianquotes.com/

(Not saying it's plagairized...the ones here were better.)
#30
Apple Talk / Burning question
January 30, 2013, 05:47:38 AM
If you F5 into the abyss, does the abyss F5 into you?
#34
And today's Very Special Destination in Texas is: LUBBOCK  :fap: :goatse:  :magick: :sheep: :sexybeast:

http://www.txdemocrats.org/2012/10/26/lubbock-dem-bravely-catches-sign-vandals-on-tape/

I know, I know, it's the dem site...but check out the video.

Also Lubbock County removes judge's racially charged posters[url]
#35
Aneristic Illusions / Some thoughts on the election
October 27, 2012, 08:44:29 PM
http://news.newamericamedia.org/news/view_article.html?article_id=79de9d08fe3113751f61744e7fb59bc0
Obama leads 2-1 in early voting in Ohio.
That's right, 60% to 30%.

Which led me to a fantasy of Mitt getting his ass beat so bad, he CRIES. And teabillies flipping out all over the country.  :lulz:

I was thinking of voting early myslef, since we have those Romney machines here, but in Texas you can only do that if:
■You will be away from your county on Election Day and during early voting;
■You are sick or disabled;
■You are 65 years of age or older on Election Day; or
■You are confined in jail, but eligible to vote.

Because Texas sucks festered javalina dick.
http://votetexas.gov/voting/when/#early-voting

Oh, well. Hopefully I'll see a UN observer at my polling place, since my area is predominantly Mexican.
#36
Looking for purely factual resources which support a center-moderate or scientifically sound left wing view that can be relied on for journalistic integrity and absolutely zero bias or twisted figures? Does this exist? Thanks.
#37
NECROPANCE - NSFW

QuoteIf you want to make your own necropants (literally; nábrók) you have to get permission from a living man to use his skin after his dead. After he has been buried you must dig up his body and flay the skin of the corpse in one piece from the waist down. As soon as you step into the pants they will stick to your own skin. A coin must be stolen from a poor widow and placed in the scrotum along with the magical sign, nábrókarstafur, written on a piece of paper. Consequently the coin will draw money into the scrotum so it will never be empty, as long as the original coin is not removed. To ensure salvation the owner has to convince someone else to overtake the pants and step into each leg as soon as he gets out of it. The necropants will thus keep the money-gathering nature for generations.
#40
Aneristic Illusions / CONSTITUTION FREE ZONE
September 01, 2012, 08:14:31 PM
One of my facebook friends was talking about a bill to make it illegal to grow, share, trade or sell homegrown food, that happily died (until they sneak it onto another bill, anyway).

He commented "Actually, down here where I am is in a Constitution free zone (Google it). So it doesn't really matter what the law is. At this point, they allow you to share or give away food that you grow , but they close down vegetable stands and farmers' markets, 'cause they don't allow you to sell food that you grow down here. To do that, you gotta bring your crops to NYC, where they still tolerate farmer's markets."

So I googled it. Holy crap. No wonder they have TSA at the Houston Greyhound station and not the Austin one.
http://www.aclu.org/​national-security_technolog​y-and-liberty/​are-you-living-constitution​-free-zone
#42
I've been talking to a lady in Humboldt, CA who is putting together a card reading app, and it looks like I've been hired to write the meanings.
For 35 cards, I have to write key words, a general description, a section for everyday matters, then past, present and future meanings for that, a section for love matters, also with past, present and future meanings, one for business matters, with past, present and future, and one for health/physical matters, with past present and future meanings. I did a sample card and it came out to about 900 words.

I can do this because I live, eat and breathe these fucking cards, not because I'm a writer (I suck). So I've never sold any kind of writing, or thought about it and I have no idea what people get paid for this. She's going to be calling Saturday asking for a "ballpark figure of what my fee would be" and I don't want to fuck myself, but I don't want to scare her off, either. Any idea what I should tell her? Thanks.
#45
Apple Talk / BREAKING: HUEY LONG HAS BEEN SHOT
July 25, 2012, 06:49:40 PM
 :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
#46
Apple Talk / Sending people off
July 22, 2012, 08:23:38 AM
I was thinking about an old friend who drowned years ago, and how at his funeral he got the standard "Don't be sad, rejoice, he died in Christ" send off. The thing was, he was a total athiest. Everybody knew this.

And it occurred to me that out of all the funerals I've been to, there have been exactly TWO where they even bothered to talk to the family and get some insights about the person who died, so they could say something about that. One was for a Black lady, the other was for a Jewish guy.

ALL the others have been the generic "Rejoice, he died in Christ. 23rd Psalm."

Fuck that noise.




#47
http://www.policymic.com/articles/7771/wal-mart-alec-scandal-company-subjects-female-prison-laborers-to-slave-like-conditions

"Wal-Mart claims they will not tolerate prison or forced labor in the manufacturing of products sold in their stores through a "Standards For Suppliers" mandate. This represents the "public face" of Wal-Mart – leading consumers to believe the company is against such exploitation, refusing to "profit" off of forced labor.

"Wal-Mart uses ALEC's Prison Industries Act. Under federal legislation, private companies have access to prisoners as a workforce. Thousands of products are made for consumers; from produce to aftermarket auto parts, the list is endless. This allows companies to attach labels reading "Made in USA." Wal-Mart has tried to hide their use of prison labor for more than two decades by using sub-contractors and cut-outs.

"Since 1991, Wal-Mart has been buying produce from a corporation out of Arizona, Martori Farms.

"A recent Huffington Post article clearly documents how Martori Farms has been using female prisoners from Arizona's state prisons as farm workers – for the past 20 years.

"Martori Farms pays its imprisoned laborers two dollars per hour, not including the travel time to and from the farm." Women from the Arizona state prison complex at Perryville Unit are assigned to work at Martori Farms ... These women are "forced" to labor long hours in the blazing sun sometimes without sunscreen, water or adequate food ..."

This policy, and the conditions and involvement of Wal-Mart in this kind of slave labor operation is reprehensible and should be criminal. Criminal in that Wal-Mart helped write the laws allowing this kind of exploitation possible. They helped ALEC pass legislation now being used in states that are turning to prisoners to solve labor shortages stemming from the Right to Work and immigration laws. They've created a new form of legalized slavery in the U.S."

#49
Apple Talk / CAPTION CONTEST! WITH WHITE STUFF!
June 21, 2012, 05:24:54 AM
This cunt had my daughter watch her demon spawn all night and refuses to pay. Need caption. KTHXBAI.