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Messages - Scribbly

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Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: September 19, 2023, 07:42:37 am »
It has been at least 4 weeks since the bout with covid started.

Housemate and I are still fucked by it. Whenever we think we're turning the corner a few days later it goes right back to the start.

I have tried to get an appointment with the doctor countless times, it is impossible. Call in the morning, get told there's too many people calling to even get put in a queue, get disconnected. Call in the afternoon, get told you can't have an appointment because you need to call in the morning.

And calling in the morning is so hard when all I want to do is sleep.

So as far as I can tell, I just don't get healthcare any more.

Love to live on Plague Island.

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: August 29, 2023, 09:28:36 am »
Over the past few weeks (not necessarily in order because I honestly don't remember the timeline)...

I met my landlord for the first time. He made a homophobic remark, complained about his washing machine being broken and my decor, then arranged an inspection to measure the place up and create floorplans. So. Looking forward to the eviction notice.

My Dad was told he is dying within the next 2-5 years and it's not going to be in a good way. He is not handling it well. Understandably.

Close friend of mine has been scammed out of £700 they could not afford to lose.

The CEO of my business has announced they intend to replace my role with AI within the next 3-5 years. I'm expected to help the project team work on the large language model that will replace me starting in a month. Though this is stressful, it is also the one situation which has an opportunity to be fun.

Every customer I deal with has had some kind of horrific crisis. Most self-inflicted but being made our problem.

And then I got covid.

Interspersed with the usual frustrations about healthcare being completely inaccessible, having to talk people down from hurting themselves and continuing to deal with the fallout of the charity collapse.

I am so, so tired.

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: August 18, 2023, 08:50:57 pm »
I get all the experience of being annoyed by American libs on Facebook without being American or on Facebook, it really is quite something.

Oh, no.  I think you'll find me FAR more annoying in real life.  Like 50 times+ more annoying.  I am a veritable typhoon of annoyance, especially to right wingers and leftists, but really to everyone, even other liberals.  I'm like Jesus, only it's Jesus that tells dad jokes all day instead of parables, both before and after I get us thrown in jail.  In Southern Arizona.  In August.

Now, there are some who have met me - and when I'm in someone else's city, I'm on my best behavior - who say at the time that everything's fine, but later say that it wasn't, and they didn't even wind up in jail.  This makes me wonder why Eastern police are so nice.  Like those charming lads on the NYPD.  Think Chelsea cops with extra amphetamine.

So ignore the castanet noise.  That's just me shaking my liberal ass while I work on the Shiny New War Crime.

Boom shaka laka.

Maybe. If we ever have a chance to meet up I'll let you know how many multiples of Mythos you rate.

Scribbly Update: I'm gonna be scarce for the foreseeable. I've taken some heavy hits over the past couple weeks and they just keep coming.

See you when the storm has passed.

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: August 08, 2023, 02:30:12 pm »

I'm marking all as read.

I get all the experience of being annoyed by American libs on Facebook without being American or on Facebook, it really is quite something.

Principia Discussion / Behind the Bastards - Discordian Edition
« on: August 08, 2023, 08:04:39 am »
I recently listened to the Behind the Bastards series on the history of the Illuminati. It is 6 hours long and the last 3 hours or so focus on Discordianism, with a more in-depth history of Hill and Thornley than I had heard before.

In particular I didn't know that Thornley was accused of pedophilia back in 2003, nor the extent of his psychological break or his involvement in a number of other cults both as leader and follower. Which, as someone who got stuck in a cult herself for a while, was interesting to hear.

There's a lot of interesting stuff in there in general, particularly around the way Operation Mindfuck pioneered many of the tactics that have since been picked up by the alt right.

I think it is interesting to note that Thornley locked himself into a toxic mindset that hurt the people around him and Hill ultimately warned people away from such thinking and drank himself to death after entering the corporate workforce.

Wilson said that if you enter Chapel Perilous you leave as an agnostic or a paranoid. But Wilson was also locked into his biological evolutionary worldview and could not escape that (Prometheus Rising has some wild bullshit in it in retrospect). He still very much had his grounding principles and they were wrong.

I've spent a lot of this year reassessing my relationship with Discordianism and I am coming to the conclusion that nobody leaves Chapel Perilous truly agnostic. Everyone ultimately imprints a schema. What it does do is throw you into a mindset where it is easier to be manipulated by charismatic or persuasive individuals into accepting their schema over your prior conceptions. Which is something that the alt right have taken advantage of to lead people towards the comfort of paranoia.

I think the basis of Discordianism - the irony, deliberate obfuscation, and baked-in conspiratorial antagonism - ultimately undermines the useful truths. When we look at what the legacy is, we have to reckon with the fact that we are in some sense responsible for some of the most damaging memetic weapons that have infected the modern internet. And one of our founders did massive harm directly in the real world too, because this way of thinking left him open to getting caught in his own delusions.

Which is not to say that there are no good ideas within Discordianism, but I also don't think those ideas are unique to it or need to be expressed within the existing Discordian framework.

2023 might be the year it is time to kill the joke by overexplaining it and start again.

Anyway, that's where my head is at - thoughts sparked by a bunch of stuff but crystalised by this podcast. If you have six hours(!) spare I think it is a good listen. Discordian specific stuff begins, I believe, around episode 3.

Aneristic Illusions / Re: Antinatalism is the hammer of Eris
« on: August 08, 2023, 07:33:00 am »
you what mate?

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: July 26, 2023, 10:26:11 pm »
I feel like I can't express myself lately.

Over the past few months even basic points that should be easy to get across are constantly causing misconceptions and arguments at work, in my personal life, everywhere.

I haven't been able to write fiction in years and now it feels like I'm losing nonfiction too.

Ever since I was a kid I kind of considered words to be my thing.

I don't really know what I've got left without that.

I feel you there on the fiction thing.  I haven't written anything more than a couple of pages since late 2015.

It has been tough. Maintaining focus is a challenge and I think there's a lot of reasons for that.


A friend pointed me in the direction of some really interesting philosophy. The sort of thing that is making me reevaluate everything. And I am writing again, just to try and get my own thoughts in order.

I don't know where this will end yet but it is good to have that feeling again. Having to really try to understand something difficult and new might be just what my brain needed.

Or Kill Me / Re: Discordianism as Perfect Nihilism
« on: July 25, 2023, 12:31:07 pm »
Giving this a bump.

Someone pointed me at a quote from Deleuze which I was surprised I hadn't seen before in a Discordian context. Did a search to see if anyone has discussed his stuff before and came across this, which seems to be(?) the only engagement with his philosophy on the site.

I also hadn't seen (or at least don't remember seeing) the OP before.

There's a lot in there. I think I need to reread it a few more times before I'm confident in my thoughts on it.

But it feels worth revisiting.

(Different subject but I've included the Deleuze quote below which includes several terms I think may be worth investigating from a Discordian perspective but I want to read the full text before I expand on that)

Quote from: Deleuze, Difference & Repetition
The essential point is that in this way we do not reintroduce any form of common sense[,] quite the contrary. We saw how the discord between the faculties, which followed from the exclusive character of the transcendent object apprehended by each, nevertheless implied a harmony such that each transmits its violence to the other by powder fuse, but precisely a 'discordant harmony' which excludes the forms of identity, convergence and collaboration which define a common sense. This harmonious Discord seemed to us to correspond to that Difference which by itself articulates or draws together. There is thus a point at which thinking, speaking, imagining, feeling, etc., are one and the same thing, but that thing affirms only the divergence of the faculties in their transcendent exercise. It is a question, therefore, not of a common sense but, on the contrary, of a 'para-sense' (in the sense that paradox is also the contrary of good sense).


ETA: I badly underestimated how long this is going to take. Even after just a day looking into it I can see that 1) I need to do a large amount of reading and 2) This is forcing me to reckon with a lot about Discordianism which I haven't examined in a long, long time.

Excited to see where it goes but this is not going to be a quick thing.

Apple Talk / Re: Film Flam
« on: July 21, 2023, 01:56:45 pm »
Barbie was very fun and about as subtle as a brick to the face.

Hugely improved by walking out behind a couple and hearing:
"So you gonna do your own washing now?"
"Fuck off" (affectionate)

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: July 17, 2023, 02:19:07 pm »
I feel like I can't express myself lately.

Over the past few months even basic points that should be easy to get across are constantly causing misconceptions and arguments at work, in my personal life, everywhere.

I haven't been able to write fiction in years and now it feels like I'm losing nonfiction too.

Ever since I was a kid I kind of considered words to be my thing.

I don't really know what I've got left without that.

Literate Chaotic / Re: Scribbly's Manga Hole
« on: July 16, 2023, 11:21:00 am »
Just finished Volume 8. It was as good as the rest. And they released the subtitled version of the trailer for the anime, which also looks wonderful.

I'll probably review some more stuff here eventually but wanted to share the Frieren love. If they pull it off I strongly believe this will be the best piece of media released this year and it won't even be close.

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: July 15, 2023, 05:50:07 am »
I'm so sorry, that's awful

Apparently I'm obligated to find this surprising.

Commission set up by transphobic government finds that transphobic charity isn't transphobic.

More as it develops.

Or Kill Me / Re: Breaking Point
« on: July 06, 2023, 03:25:18 pm »
There's a speech I've always loved which I feel has been a bit misused around this idea.

Quote from: Mario Savio
    We were told the following: If President Kerr actually tried to get something more liberal out of the regents in his telephone conversation, why didn't he make some public statement to that effect? And the answer we received, from a well-meaning liberal, was the following: He said, 'Would you ever imagine the manager of a firm making a statement publicly in opposition to his board of directors?' That's the answer!

    Well, I ask you to consider: If this is a firm, and if the board of regents are the board of directors; and if President Kerr in fact is the manager; then I'll tell you something. The faculty are a bunch of employees, and we're the raw material! But we're a bunch of raw materials that don't mean to be—have any process upon us. Don't mean to be made into any product. Don't mean ... Don't mean to end up being bought by some clients of the University, be they the government, be they industry, be they organized labor, be they anyone! We're human beings!

    There is a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at heart, that you can't take part! You can't even passively take part! And you've got to put your bodies upon the gears and upon the wheels ... upon the levers, upon all the apparatus, and you've got to make it stop! And you've got to indicate to the people who run it, to the people who own it, that unless you're free, the machine will be prevented from working at all!

I've heard a lot of folks centre the 'you' in this, ignoring the fact that Mario was clearly talking about collective action.

Yes, he's saying that 'you' need to do it, but the key here is that he was talking in a context of massive protests.

It was the threat of collective action that made him a menace. He was an organiser. He spoke a good game but he backed it up with his community. And that's why the FBI surveilled him for more than a decade. That's why they worked against him.

Mario centred the human in his activism. He contrasted who we are against the systems we are forced to operate in. He wanted more humanity, and he knew that the only way to disrupt The Machine was by encouraging that humanity in others; seeing it, fostering it, and refusing to be 'processed' by The Machine. Forcing it to recognise and acknowledge us as humans. Not raw materials.

And breaking it if it can't do that.

It's a romantic vision. He obviously didn't succeed. But he tried, and he did good, and whilst there will always be a price paid in blood to rebalance power in the world... there's no reason to make it any greater than it has to be. If you forget that, you're not seeing your fellow people as people any more.

You're seeing them as materials to be processed for the product of 'revolution'.

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