Messages

Impatient are we?

Twid
fucktard

I am.

Since everyone are being fucktards and not contributing, I will post another one of my ridiculous technological ideas. A chip, a suppository, or something inserted into the human body that helps the person materialize what they are thinking up in their heads. The results will be devastating to human kind.

I'm not really Muslim, I just felt like photoshopping my face into a burka. Also, I'm part Turkish so it's sort of ironic. I think middle eastern men are retarded because they cover up their women, who happen to be the most beautiful women on the planet. Idiots.

I'm bored so I thought it would be creative and fun to think up new technological ideas then bring them to life through photoshop/paint/whatever, then provide a description of what your idea does. If you think this is stupid then fuck off. I'm having fun over here.
My inspiration:

(Man stuffs pet cat and makes it into a remote control plane. True story.)

OK, now I'll start:
A helmet or some device you place on your pet (preferably a cat because they are the best animal on the planet) that audibly translates what the cat is thinking, thus bringing animals and humans closer together. I picked a helmet because, well, it looks awesome.

I think we have a winner.

Bingo.
The winner of the match, and new HSD pic is:Cosmic Beard Wizard (with leprechaun flute and third eye enhancing helm)

He does look a lot like you.   

With a few exceptions (Nigel, Cain, Twid, etc), this here Deth Cult has become something else entirely.  There is no conversation, there is no ranting, there is no ANYTHING.  You shuffle up, watch for something interesting to happen, and then leave.  And why is nothing interesting happening?  Because everyone's waiting for something interesting to happen.

At some point, a whole lot of Discordians became lower case discordians.  You watch and see what OTHER people are doing, instead of doing it yourself.  You can't even be arsed to say "hello".  This is Goddamn BACKSLIDING, and the DOOM that you are bringing on yourself is YOUR fault and nobody else's.

Of course, I'm not talking about people who aren't actually HERE.  Life happens.  But to sit for an hour or so each day, VIEWING...It's almost like teevee, isn't it?  Turn us on, see if anything interesting is on, while you smash junk food into your piehole.  It's PORN for weirdos.  Why actually HAVE sex, when you can WATCH sex?  Why get your weirdness gland all torqued up, when you can just look at SOMEONE ELSE'S weirdness, and maybe fart a bit?

What the fuck do You People DO when you're "looking at unread threads"?  There ARE NO unread threads, because nobody's been writing or saying SHIT.  There's maybe THREE people pounding out the Gospel According to the Weird Shit in Their Craniums. 

And now the excuses come:  "I'm too busy" (to post, but not to read), "I'm shaving the cat", "I can't ever think of anything to say" (how about "hello"?), yada yada yada.  Will those excuses save you when The Time comes?  No, they won't.

I FUCKING HATE YOU ALL.  If any of you really loved me, you'd all get yourselves killed in industrial accidents.


Nuff said.  Fucking couch potatos.

Someone's on his man-period today.

Not even sure why you'd even consider it.

Woah, woah. Fuck that. Going was never an option. But when asked by my girlfriend my response was "Tell her to go fuck herself!" I got that look I get when I'm being too much like me. They are her friends, not mine.
The assault option is for the next time I see them.

Fun fact: my girlfriend lurks and posts here now. If you're reading this, well, battery is up by 5 votes. Consider the legal ramifications before inviting people over here.

Sounds like your girlfriend only gives you those looks when you're being a whiney faggot.

I can't tell anymore if it's genetics or the lack of effort (laziness) in educating oneself. 

I'm telling your mother.

Welcome to Discordia.  We hope you enjoy your stay, whether that be a 3 day butthurt trollfest, or 10 years of screeching and hollering with the best of 'em.  Our membership grows and contracts, as the people who don't understand the concept join, get "enlightened", and then either flee, or join the sediment at the bottom.  We function much like a septic tank:  All the light stuff gets pumped out, leaving a horrible load of goodness in the bottom.  We are the sediment of the internet...It's not particularly pleasant, but we like it that way.

A few things worth mentioning:

We've all read the Principia Discordia.  You are not required to tell us all about it.

We aren't "Real Discordians™", whatever that is.  We're not really into random gibberish ("word salad"), kaos magick, or spending hours and hours determining which music (or whatever) deserves the name brand of Discordian™.

Don't feel the need to wow us on your first day.  We're actually more impressed by an honest introduction, and your thoughts on the weird shit we talk about.  Just tell us about yourself, and what horrible personal defect led you to us.  Things will develop naturally from there...There's no need to rush things.

If you feel that the mods or admins are giving you an undue ration of shit on an "official" level (ie, you were modded unfairly), contact East Coast Hustle, or any other uninvolved admin.  Do NOT pm The Mgt.

We like rants and bad photoshop.  Quality of writing or shooping is meaningless.  It's all about the WRATH, so spout until your guts bleed.

We like hearing about pranks.  Bear in mind, of course, that this is the interbutts, and be careful how much information you put out there.  The government probably isn't watching us...but we'll fix THAT!

The search function doesn't work.  This is because the guy who runs the server is a communist and hates America™.  You have to go digging by hand.  It's worth it, though, there's some really good nuggets in there.

It is generally considered to be both foolish and dangerous to hit "mark all messages read", as that button is hooked into some software nastiness installed by the guy who runs the server, who kisses terrorists.  On the beard.  He makes everyone call him "Joseph Stalin", and he kicks babies off of overpasses whenever he's allowed out of his cage/server room.

There is no secret Pogs forum.  This was an rumor started by irresponsible members from Portland, Oregon, because we made fun of their little Brad Pitt hats.  Fucking hipsters.

There ain't no parking on the dance floor.

Well, that's about it.  If you're dumb enough to stick around, we look forward to your introduction.  We are not responsible for personality issues caused by this board.  Last thing:  We yell a lot.  It's not personal.  We're just very, very serious about having a good time.

Hi. In case anybody cares, I'm introducing myself. I'm NrrdGrrl and I'm new. (I know my s/n is not original, but I don't give a fuck. It suits me.) If you couldn't tell by my name, I am a lady, but I don't act like one. I'm also new to the concept of Discordianism. I guess I would call myself an agnostic, but love to learn about new concepts, theories, ideas, etc. This site seemed interesting, so I decided to stick around and check it out. That is all.