Messages

UKIP in general are pretty discordian.

"My mind is clear and my buttocks are smooth - Vote UKIP" One of their entities came out with that recently and it's baffling beyond words. These fuckers are actually insane. "Sane, with a shaved arse? Vote for racists!"

Fucked if I know.

What the hell? 

Wow! That's incredible! Great job!

Fantastic read, Dok!  I can't wait to read what happened next. 

DON'T THINK I WON'T.

Also, job interview tomorrow.

Good luck, Dok!

I'm 29 now. BRB fapping to MLP.

Happy birthday!

This should win some kind of Picture of the Year award. Time Magazine, National Geographic, Boys Life, don't care.

Agreed.

That picture.

 

I just wanted to do my thing.  My thing doesn't hurt anyone else, but it offends a great many right-thinking Americans.  For that, I apologize. 

I just wanted to talk to my friends on the phone without someone listening in.  I am old-fashioned, and not accustomed to this new "party line" concept, where Uncle Sugar sits and wanks it while listening to my friends and I gossip.  Sometimes I like to say deliberately fucked up things, so the guy wanking has to stop mid-stroke and get his supervisor...And then we're back to regular conversation, and NSA-boy has blue balls.  For that, I apologize.

I just wanted to drive badly, screaming at my fellow drivers and playing Lemmy way too loud, braying spittle and laughter all over my windshield, while I caroom from lane to lane at 4AM, shaking my fist at others, through the open window.  For that, I apologize.

I just wanted to get my own back, to kick Them in the jimmy, and do all manner of rotten shit until their eyes bleed in pure hatred.  I just wanted to slap Them into next week, and pin my horrible acts on Calvinists.  I just wanted to jam up every toilet in the legal district, so They can understand the position the rest of us are in.  I just wanted to, you know, get a little vicious and laugh until my guts bleed...And for THAT, I do NOT apologize.  I gotta be me, I gotta sing my song and do my dance, and I gotta poke the penguin.

It's just who I am.  I could apologize, but it wouldn't be very sincere.

Okay for now,
Dok

That NSA agent.

Done!   It looks like a lot of fun.  I hope it gets greenlit.

That's the 1994 I want!  I don't know about anyone else, but my heart beats were definitely 150.   

Brilliant, and moving.

Agreed.

Thank you so much for writing this series, Dok.  It's fantastic.

PM Response day is one of my favorite days of the year.  They're all great.   

4.  You have it all wrong.  Nigel is the kind one, it's LMNO that's the prick.  Nigel is only trying to make you UNDERSTAND.  To COMPREHEND why you are a DUMBASS.  She's trying to HELP, you ungrateful slob.  Meanwhile, LMNO is drunk and touching your mom in an inappropriate way.  Even if she's dead.  ESPECIALLY if she's dead.

5.  You are talking to the wrong man.  I believe Whitey's version of events, and the Aztecs were not misunderstood hippies.  They really DID carve peoples' hearts out in truly industrial manner, and they sprinkled the blood on their food and ATE IT.  Cortez's only failing is that he came along so late in the game.  Call the Mexica LUCKY.  What they DESERVED was Pizarro.  Instead they got old softy.  IN ADDITION, "archeological proof" is not "White privilege".  I don't actually expect this to make any sort of impact on you, you're clearly emotionally attached to your bad signal.

[In]

People like us don't need anyone's permission.  We are not considered to be good people by the Good People, and we LIKE IT THAT WAY.  We are the tesseract that won't fit in the round hole, the scofflaws and the back seat drivers of society itself.  We're not Leather Face from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but we DO drink with him on Saturday Night™.  We are the whining bearing, the smoking drive train, the oil dripping out of the world's tailpipe.

What people like us forget, sometimes, is that THEY are afraid of US, simply because they honestly can't believe we don't share their values, and when we demonstrate that we don't, They get restless.  Uneasy.  They look at us and see Bin Ladin or Karl Marx or that asshole on the MBTA that stares at you and smiles for no reason at all.  Their inner primate gibbers in fear, and that makes them angry.

So be it.  Their anger is my medicine.  I season my ham sammich with their tears of panic or rage or whatever the hell it is they think they're feeling, while they shit on some homeless guy on their way to church or quote Dawkins like he was Replacement Jesus™.

Here's the kicker:  We don't need THEM, but they need US.  They understand this on some level, and it drives them even crazier.  Consider it a public service...This mudball needs a little more apeshittery, because "normal" hasn't exactly done a stellar job, has it?  Humans need to lose their shit more often, and that's where WE come in.  With a rubber chicken or a baseball bat with a nail through it.  One or the other, whatever gets the JOB DONE, because that's how we manage shit DOWNTOWN.

And it doesn't matter if They are communists or free market heroes, Atheists or Calvinists, or any other collection of jackasses wearing colostomy bags on their heads.  We do not share their politics.  The only ideals we have are Saturday Night™ and FUCK 'EM IF THEY CAN'T TAKE A JOKE and CRAPPING ON THE HEADS OF PUNY HUMANS.  And, if you think about it, why would we ever need anything else?

This is OUR world, they're just unpleasant relatives that have stayed too long.

Or Kill Me.

They do not understand what it means to Freak the Fuck Out, or why it is of such vital importance.

WE Freak the Fuck Out, and they think we're the weird ones. But we know the truth, and the truth is that they Freak the Fuck In, which is infinitely weirder. Why would any human choose to keep all of their Fuck inside, where it goes rampant in their organs and stuffs their brains with things like

"I shouldn't get this in a bright color; it will clash."

"This is too spicy."

"Hey, gotta believe in something, right?"

"I'll just keep quiet and this will all blow over. Eventually."

No, this simply will not do. We must take all of that Fuck within us and Freak it Out, into the ridiculous whirlwind of insane bullshit that is our Universe. Where it belongs.

The two of you have made my day.  These are fucking amazing.   

This is great.   

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4A3Zxg-Cfg

He blamed it on his staff? Fastest way I can think of to get on Dok's shit list. 

That part made me groan.  What a tool move.   

Also, poor Abigail.