Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Two vast and trunkless legs of stone => Topic started by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 20, 2013, 03:19:32 AM

Title: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 20, 2013, 03:19:32 AM
I trust I have your vote.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on February 20, 2013, 03:21:15 AM
Absolutely. What's the worst that could happen?  :lulz:
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Freeky on February 20, 2013, 03:21:36 AM
The whole thing.  All of it.  Yes.  :)
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 20, 2013, 03:24:49 AM
If elected Mexico, I promise a chicken in every yard.  Whether or not you want one.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on February 20, 2013, 03:26:42 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 20, 2013, 03:24:49 AM
If elected Mexico, I promise a chicken in every yard.  Whether or not you want one.

Chickens would be great. They'll eat all the fucking bugs. Got fleas the size of chihuahuas, here. I'll vote for you twice!
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Freeky on February 20, 2013, 03:27:06 AM
CHAKNS!

:argh!: I'M NOT ALLOWED CHAKNS!
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 20, 2013, 03:27:14 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on February 20, 2013, 03:26:42 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 20, 2013, 03:24:49 AM
If elected Mexico, I promise a chicken in every yard.  Whether or not you want one.

Chickens would be great. They'll eat all the fucking bugs. Got fleas the size of chihuahuas, here. I'll vote for you twice!

Vote early, vote often.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 20, 2013, 03:27:38 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on February 20, 2013, 03:27:06 AM
CHAKNS!

:argh!: I'M NOT ALLOWED CHAKNS!

You will if I win the election.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Freeky on February 20, 2013, 03:28:50 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 20, 2013, 03:27:38 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on February 20, 2013, 03:27:06 AM
CHAKNS!

:argh!: I'M NOT ALLOWED CHAKNS!

You will if I win the election.

YAY.  I'LL VOTE FOR YOU NINE TIMES.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on February 20, 2013, 03:31:16 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on February 20, 2013, 03:27:06 AM
CHAKNS!

:argh!: I'M NOT ALLOWED CHAKNS!

(http://www.backyardchickens.com/image/id/5783961)

Fixed your problem. No one will know you have chickens, now! :P
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Juana on February 20, 2013, 04:52:03 AM
I already have one. Does this mean that I have to have two? Shoe Ears will be pleased, but I dunno...
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Salty on February 20, 2013, 04:54:08 AM
*shoves microphone into TGRR's face*
What is your position on chicken fuckers?
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Reginald Ret on February 20, 2013, 12:18:24 PM
You've got my vote.
As far as i know this is the first time a Mexico will be elected.
What will you do with the previous Mexico?
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: EK WAFFLR on February 20, 2013, 12:21:01 PM
I hope this includes furry Polar chickens.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on February 20, 2013, 02:17:09 PM
I don't have any chickens.

POLITICAL ASYLUM!!!!!
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 20, 2013, 02:17:32 PM
Quote from: Alty on February 20, 2013, 04:54:08 AM
*shoves microphone into TGRR's face*
What is your position on chicken fuckers?

THEY NEED TO KEEP FUCKING
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 20, 2013, 03:55:04 PM
ROGER FOR MEXICO 2013!
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Eater of Clowns on February 20, 2013, 04:15:09 PM
Oh.

My opponent appears to have shown his untrustworthy, reptilian face.


I am Eater of Clowns, and I want to be your Mexico.

What "The" Good Reverend Roger doesn't tell you is that before his Mexico ambition, he was Cuba.

As Cuba, The Good "Reverend" Roger declared himself Chief Importer of Jamaican Jerk, edging out the Ramon Carrasquillo's seventy generation Jamaican Jerk importing business with LEGISLATIVE ABUSE.

As Cuba, The "Good" Reverend Roger then led his posse of Jamaican Jerks to move the Cuban border three inches outward on all sides every third Saturday for eight years.  This spread of land mass was solely responsible for rising ocean waters.1

Of course The Good Reverend "Roger" is in favor of chicken fucking!  With his monopoly on Jamaican Jerks, tenderized chickens could only solidify his power base.

Vote for Eater of "Clowns" for Mexico, friends.  You deserve a Mexico with abundant teeth, lush hair, and an only somewhat offensive odor.

Eater of Clowns,
Fuck TGRR

1Journal of Meteorological Medicine Against The Reptilian TGRR, September 2013
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Eater of Clowns on February 20, 2013, 04:22:05 PM
The Good Reverend Roger is psychologically allergic to all socks that don't contain alpaca wool.

TGRR,
what's that motherfucker got against nylon?

Eater of Clowns for a variety of stocking materials.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Eater of Clowns on February 20, 2013, 04:24:40 PM
The Good Reverend Roger cannot achieve orgasm within three miles of a CostCo.

TGRR,
do you want a Mexico whose junk is so picky?

Eater of Clowns against temperamental erections.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Eater of Clowns on February 20, 2013, 04:27:51 PM
The Good Reverend Roger can only eat pork marinated in children's Robitussin.

TGRR,
stealing medicine from sick kids.

Eater of Clowns can handle adult strength cold treatments.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: LMNO on February 20, 2013, 04:57:57 PM
This just jumped up a notch.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Cain on February 20, 2013, 05:19:12 PM
The fact is, running for Mexico is meaningless.  You're all just complicit in a system of being Mexico or not being Mexico.  It's a two Mexican con.

Only being post-Mexico will bring about real change.  Occupy Mexico, man.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Elder Iptuous on February 20, 2013, 05:32:48 PM
#YoSoyMexico
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on February 20, 2013, 06:20:14 PM
Gee. Now I don't know who I should vote for. I mean, I like chicken. But not so much reptiles and temperamental erections.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 20, 2013, 06:27:17 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on February 20, 2013, 06:20:14 PM
Gee. Now I don't know who I should vote for. I mean, I like chicken. But not so much reptiles and temperamental erections.

Reptile fucking a chicken:  WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE?

Yeah, I admit it, I'm a fucking reptile.  I can cling to a wall with the best of them.  But what of it?  Are You People racist?  I mean, look what the mammals have managed to fuck up while THEY have been in charge.

Vote smart.  Vote Reptile.
TGRR for Mexico, 2013.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Eater of Clowns on February 20, 2013, 08:34:03 PM
I ask you. 

Do you trust a man that does not know the true value of suckling at the nourishing teat of prosperity? 

Can you stand to vote for an individual whose closest approximation to that experience is wallowing in the heat lamp of mediocrity?

This is a joke.  I almost think The Good Reverend isn't running for Mexico and meant to say he's running for Mexico.  Like for awareness.

Well Roger, as your future Mexico, I appreciate your efforts.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Freeky on February 21, 2013, 07:04:17 AM
 :eek: This race for Mexico is one of the hardest choices ever.

Let the candidates have a debate!
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Pergamos on February 21, 2013, 10:29:35 AM
I want to know which Mexico has better Pulque.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Ben Shapiro on February 21, 2013, 12:06:19 PM
THIS IS THE BEST BREAKFAST EVER!
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 21, 2013, 02:42:27 PM
Quote from: Pergamos on February 21, 2013, 10:29:35 AM
I want to know which Mexico has better Pulque.

I have the only pulque.  Around old timers here, I have established my reputation for pulque.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 21, 2013, 02:43:50 PM
I have decided to yield to my opponent, EoC.

Now he can continue with the second half of the joke, leaving me free to troll FB.

:lulz:
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Eater of Clowns on February 21, 2013, 02:48:03 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 21, 2013, 02:43:50 PM
I have decided to yield to my opponent, EoC.

Now he can continue with the second half of the joke, leaving me free to troll FB.

:lulz:

:lulz: :argh!:
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 21, 2013, 02:49:25 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on February 21, 2013, 02:48:03 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 21, 2013, 02:43:50 PM
I have decided to yield to my opponent, EoC.

Now he can continue with the second half of the joke, leaving me free to troll FB.

:lulz:

:lulz: :argh!:

Hey, you wanted the job.

I suggest you get cracking on the second half.  We know what happens to Mexicos that forget the punchline.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Eater of Clowns on February 21, 2013, 02:54:25 PM
BOY IS MY FACE RED
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 21, 2013, 03:12:13 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on February 21, 2013, 02:54:25 PM
BOY IS MY FACE RED

Not as red as it's GONNA be!

:hammer:

TGRR,
In exile in Paraguay, sipping cocktails.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: trippinprincezz13 on February 21, 2013, 05:19:16 PM
EOC, as the new Mexico, how soon can we expect you to erect a border fence around yourself so that you don't accidentally touch America and take our jerbs?
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 21, 2013, 05:25:47 PM
I would like to add at this point that EoC, now being Mexico by default, is a sovereign nation currently occupying American territory along the East Coast.  Granted, that territory is something of a burden, but we must treat this as a matter of principle and national sovereignty.

Therefore, I ask PD for a declaration of war against the poster formerly known as EoC, now known as Mexico.  Should he decide to come along peaceably, then he shall be deported to wherever the hell it is that he comes from.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Freeky on February 21, 2013, 05:32:12 PM
:crankey: WAR!
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on February 21, 2013, 05:41:54 PM
Need one of those old Leonides gifs that says "TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL!"
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 21, 2013, 06:00:51 PM
Quote from: Pope Partum Depression on February 21, 2013, 05:41:54 PM
Need one of those old Leonides gifs that says "TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL!"

I know where he is.  That would be redundant.  Imagine RI's version of Seguin.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on February 21, 2013, 06:16:33 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 21, 2013, 06:00:51 PM
Quote from: Pope Partum Depression on February 21, 2013, 05:41:54 PM
Need one of those old Leonides gifs that says "TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL!"

I know where he is.  That would be redundant.  Imagine RI's version of Seguin.

*imagines Seguin with a few colonial style buildings sticking up*

*vomits*
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Eater of Clowns on February 21, 2013, 07:20:16 PM
Wow everyone so great to be here!  Let me answer a few questions that have been buzzing around about what I like to call

Project Infinite Mexico

It's my hope that with this simple FAQ, I can dispel some of the rumors about this new and exciting idea.

1.  What is Project Infinite Mexico?

Project Infinite Mexico asks a simple question:  Who can be Mexico?  And I think I have an answer:  Everyone.  Haven't you ever wanted to be Mexico?  I remember growing up and wanting nothing more!  When this boyhood dream finally came true in my stunning recent victory, I cannot describe the sense of achievement.  So why should I try?  Why can't you be Mexico?  Why can't your mother?

Why has there only ever been one Mexico?  Why not two?  Why not a billion?

2.  What can you tell me about the war against you?

You may have heard about this war and it is deeply concerning.  The accusation is that Mexico is operating within the territory of another nation.  With Project Infinite Mexico, this is untrue.  Mexico is everywhere and everyone!

As an example, here is the Mexico you may be familiar with:

(http://www.lonelyplanet.com/maps/north-america/mexico/map_of_mexico.jpg)

Blech, right?  Antiquated, dull, lifeless!  Well not anymore, here is Mexico under Project Infinite Mexico:

(http://modernsurvivalblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/world-population-density-map.gif)

Now that is one sexy Mexico.

So some might try to declare war on Mexico but I ask you:  Can you declare war on everywhere?

3.  What is the punchline?

There is none!  Rumors of a punchline are another form of deception and trickery from reptile kind.

4.  Can reptiles be Mexico?

Absolutely not.  Let me be clear on this:  Mexico is not anti-reptile.  Mexico is pro-human.  The fact is, though, that reptiles are the cause of all society's woes, past and present.

Did you know that every recorded human death is caused by reptiles?  It's true!  Reptiles are everywhere, right?  And so are murder, substance abuse, death, and farting!  There are no reptiles on Mars and, well, just look at the murder rates on Mars!  They're "astronomically" (haha) low!

That's it for now, everyone.  I hope your introduction to Project Infinite Mexico has been an educational one!  I look forward to you being me.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on February 21, 2013, 07:25:08 PM
once again, this pic is appropriate:

(https://dl.dropbox.com/u/1715856/chicken_rex_doc.png)
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Freeky on February 21, 2013, 08:46:14 PM
 :lulz:
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 21, 2013, 08:47:00 PM
Quote from: V3X on February 21, 2013, 07:25:08 PM
once again, this pic is appropriate:

(https://dl.dropbox.com/u/1715856/chicken_rex_doc.png)

:lulz:
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Junkenstein on February 21, 2013, 09:25:40 PM
Amigos, let me take a moment and call for an end to the bloodshed.

While the ISSUE of our new Mexico seems DECIDED, we have yet to see any PROOF of EITHER candidates SOMBRERO.

El 2/5'sths WILL NOT!! let this matter rest until the true Mexico DISPLAYS!the Sombrero and Maracas of rulership. The FACT that EOC has SMASHED the ceremonial piñata counts for NOTHING!!

We can promise NOTHING!! other than PISSING!! and moaning throughout the entire reign of the CURRENT "Mexico" until the next appears and do it to them too!!


VIVE!! LA! REVOLUCION !!

El 2/5'sths!!!




!
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 21, 2013, 09:26:09 PM
This thread is fucking  :lulz:
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 21, 2013, 09:40:26 PM
I see that our new Mexico wants to destroy the very fabric of our nation, by assimilating us into his lesser, unfurnished culture.  Obviously, this cannot be allowed.  I am calling on Good Americans™ everywhere to prevent this.  If you see Mexico or any of its creatures, call your local police or Department of Homeland Security Community Center immediately.  Do not attempt to apprehend or interfere with Mexico, as he is known to carry vicious weaponry on his person (rakes, wrenches, et al).

If you get any Mexico on your person, decontaminate thoroughly by scrubbing the effected area with Miller High Life, and refrain from having sexual intercourse until you've seen your doctor, to avoid anchor baby syndrome.



Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 21, 2013, 09:55:49 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 21, 2013, 09:25:40 PM
Amigos, let me take a moment and call for an end to the bloodshed.

While the ISSUE of our new Mexico seems DECIDED, we have yet to see any PROOF of EITHER candidates SOMBRERO.

I have released the short form of my sombrero.

And that derby is all you need to see.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 21, 2013, 10:19:19 PM
I'd also like to point out that our new Mexico still hasn't delivered the second half of the joke.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Eater of Clowns on February 21, 2013, 10:34:47 PM
Project Infinite Mexico FAQ (cont'd)

5.  How do I be Mexico?

To be Mexico is simple.  For a nominal fee you agree to be Mexico.  You may then collect that fee1 from others that they may become Mexico.

1With appropriate payment to the elected2 Mexico.
2Elections for Mexico are indefinitely suspended due to worldwide data collection issues.

6.  Why have you not released proof of your SOMBRERO?

Proof of my SOMBRERO is not the issue.  The issue here is we have enough SOMBRERO for everyone to be Mexico.  Project Infinite Mexico has a detailed plan to sustainably distribute SOMBRERO to all of Mexico.

     6a.  Can we see the plan?

     No.

     6b.  What about the Maracas?

     The Maracas are here.  And they're bitchin'.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on February 21, 2013, 11:14:50 PM
Gee, Mexico, that sounds like a GREAT PLAN. Really. But I have several concerns I have not seen addressed in your very pretty FAQ. Namely:

1. What about Tucson, Portland, and Providence? How will they respond to everyone becoming Mexico?

2. And in the event of a tequila shortage, who will eat the worm?

3. Are crocheted or felted sombreros sufficient vehicles of Mexiconess?
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Freeky on February 21, 2013, 11:18:14 PM
Mr. Mexico, What are you going to do about the impending Zombiepocalypse?
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Eater of Clowns on February 21, 2013, 11:27:48 PM
These are fantastic questions!

Thank you for these questions.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 21, 2013, 11:32:21 PM
How will Mexico being everywhere function at the same time that everywhere is Tucson? Does that mean that Tucson is now part of Mexico? Or that Mexico is now part of Tucson? Will there be a vote?
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Eater of Clowns on February 22, 2013, 12:17:13 AM
Quote from: trippinprincezz13 on February 21, 2013, 05:19:16 PM
EOC, as the new Mexico, how soon can we expect you to erect a border fence around yourself so that you don't accidentally touch America and take our jerbs?

Project Infinite Mexico does not support fences nor the taking of jerbs.  Infinity is not bound in a cage.  If you as an American find yourself infected with jerb cooties, look not to your nearest Mexico but to your nearest banker.  Mexico appreciates your concern and would like to offer that you also be Mexico that you may address your concern directly.

Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on February 21, 2013, 11:14:50 PM
Gee, Mexico, that sounds like a GREAT PLAN. Really. But I have several concerns I have not seen addressed in your very pretty FAQ. Namely:

1. What about Tucson, Portland, and Providence? How will they respond to everyone becoming Mexico?

2. And in the event of a tequila shortage, who will eat the worm?

3. Are crocheted or felted sombreros sufficient vehicles of Mexiconess?

Of course individual questiosn are not answered by FAQs - the operative word letter is F.

1.  I do not know how they will respond to everyone becoming Mexico.  Mexico is not Tucson, Portland, or Providence.

2.  Eat the worm?  Why not ask an American to eat a bald eagle?  Why not ask a Canadian to eat a maple leaf?

3.  No, both crocheted and felted sombreros would make poor vehicles due to their mechanical instability.

Mexico needs more Mexico such as you with these incisive thoughts.  Consider being Mexico to handle its foreign relations, mascot, and transportation ideas first hand.

Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on February 21, 2013, 11:18:14 PM
Mr. Mexico, What are you going to do about the impending Zombiepocalypse?

Project Infinite Mexico asks:  Why can't Zombies be Mexico?  Mexico is a nation of the future and it is in Mexico's best interest to secure itself in that future no matter the course it may take.  Doing something about the impending Zombiepocalypse could sure use a Mexico that's up for the task.  Is that you?

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on February 21, 2013, 11:32:21 PM
How will Mexico being everywhere function at the same time that everywhere is Tucson? Does that mean that Tucson is now part of Mexico? Or that Mexico is now part of Tucson? Will there be a vote?

Mexico would be foolish not to recognize Tucsonian Creep.  Project Infinite Mexico is a personal Mexico, a Mexico made whole by the individual many.  If those many find themselves in the terrible grip of Tucson, as we all do, then there is no reason a person cannot occupy a place.  Mexico is not everywhere, it is everyone.  It simply happens that everyone is everywhere.  Your brainstuffs would make a great Mexico!  Please consider being it.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Trivial on February 22, 2013, 05:31:01 AM
What am I supposed to do with these? (http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8369/8497257342_e838d9de97_b.jpg)
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Junkenstein on February 22, 2013, 02:06:02 PM
Amigos,

El 2/5#sths is gravely concerned at this new turn of events.

We call on ALL true mexicans to take a stand against this new "Mexico". He wants to ruin our labour exports! He is in league with the cartels! He is a Cartel! We know that "Mexico" is obviously a Cartel as the True Sombrero remains elusive. The real, Long form formal Sombrero, not that fedora imitation that you think passes!

Fellow mexicans, I remind you all that being endorsed by a non sombrero producing, reptilian, rape-advocating, gun-shooting, diet pepsi drinking "mexican" does not lend either candidate legitimacy!

Rise mexicans! We must free ourselves from the tyranny of this MEXICO and his cohorts! Cast the Gringos OUT!
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Junkenstein on February 22, 2013, 02:09:19 PM
And rememeber! Both "MEXICO"s are on RECORD for saying abortion should be allowed up to 36years AFTER birth! Madness! It should be at least 40

El 2/5'sths
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Elder Iptuous on February 22, 2013, 02:50:35 PM
I would like to boldly pledge my support to the more traditional revolutionary that we found in our Good Reverend Roger.
i'll not be taken in by the glitz and glamour of this pretender to the Mexico, or the other upstart, neither of which appear to be capable of delivering the second half of the joke!

Good Reverend, I know you are no longer seeking to be Mexico, but  you.  are.  needed!
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Eater of Clowns on February 22, 2013, 03:20:26 PM
The second half of the joke is simply another con by our reptilian enemies.

There is no second half.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on February 22, 2013, 03:24:32 PM
PLEASE CONTINUE, I FIND YOUR HEMISPHERE ADORABLE!
   \
(https://dl.dropbox.com/u/1715856/french.jpg)
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on February 22, 2013, 06:57:33 PM
Dear Friends,

Being a Mexico is not the only option, and obviously Mexico cannot be infinite, since the universe is finite. I'm running for Wales. No one wants to run for Wales, and someone has to. That coal's not going to mine itself.

Elect me for Wales.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 22, 2013, 08:28:01 PM
OK, so if Mexico is infinite and Mexico is everywhere, and everywhere is Tucson, then I am Mexico and I'm in Tucson?
:aww:

I don't like this reality anymore, I want off.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 22, 2013, 09:16:46 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on February 22, 2013, 08:28:01 PM
OK, so if Mexico is infinite and Mexico is everywhere, and everywhere is Tucson, then I am Mexico and I'm in Tucson?
:aww:

I don't like this reality anymore, I want off.

Tucson is everywhere.

Mexico is to the South of everywhere.  Do not listen to this inferior Mexico that The People decided on.

Among other things, he hasn't delivered on the other half of the joke.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Trivial on February 22, 2013, 09:34:42 PM
Given that Tucson froze over, do we have to do stuff we said we weren't going to or does everything in it have to freeze solid?
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on February 23, 2013, 07:14:41 AM
Has anyone else noticed the uncanny similarities between a witch hat and a sombrero? I think our new Mexico CAN'T deliver the other half of the joke because he's secretly pagan. And pagans are notoriously without humor. Unless it's jokes about how many spirits can you fit into a crystal ball. Ha-ha! That one slays me every time.

I submit my evidence for your perusal:

Exhibit #A, "Witch Hat" -

(http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQbdkBClXgZcGiocWknzm706itkGsEqGohZdKxHDuZVzx5nYoz0)

Exhibit #B, "Sombrero" -

(http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/About/General/2010/7/23/1279900586787/Orange-straw-sombrero-sol-006.jpg)

My friends and fellow patriots, I think we've been had.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Ben Shapiro on February 23, 2013, 03:07:35 PM
I'm running for the Nether Realm 2016. Because someone needs to put back the laughter in slaughter.

(http://s15.postimage.org/ce7486z1j/35282351.jpg) (http://postimage.org/image/ce7486z1j/)
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on February 24, 2013, 03:01:10 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on February 23, 2013, 07:14:41 AM
Has anyone else noticed the uncanny similarities between a witch hat and a sombrero? I think our new Mexico CAN'T deliver the other half of the joke because he's secretly pagan. And pagans are notoriously without humor. Unless it's jokes about how many spirits can you fit into a crystal ball. Ha-ha! That one slays me every time.

I submit my evidence for your perusal:

Exhibit #A, "Witch Hat" -

(http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQbdkBClXgZcGiocWknzm706itkGsEqGohZdKxHDuZVzx5nYoz0)

Exhibit #B, "Sombrero" -

(http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/About/General/2010/7/23/1279900586787/Orange-straw-sombrero-sol-006.jpg)

My friends and fellow patriots, I think we've been had.

It's OK.

Nigel will use them for TRAFFIC CONES.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 24, 2013, 03:56:06 PM
SLOW DOWN, my friends.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Lenin McCarthy on February 24, 2013, 05:13:48 PM
Quote from: Pope Partum Depression on February 24, 2013, 03:01:10 PM
It's OK.

Nigel will use them for TRAFFIC CONES.

This is a genius idea, since they'll be much harder to kick over, especially for midgets.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 25, 2013, 03:57:53 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on February 24, 2013, 03:56:06 PM
SLOW DOWN, my friends.

I AM slowing down.  I'm running like a mad bastard, but I'm up to my hips in mud, acid, and stupid people.  It's like one of those dreams, you know, not the one with Jerve Villachez crawling up your leg with a rose in his teeth.  No.  The other OTHER dream, where you can't seem to run worth a damn, and Al Haig and Richard Nixon are after you, waving affidavits and screaming that it wasn't their fault, it was YOUR fault and now you have to PAY, while Ed Meese clings to your back whispering into your ear about how porn causes rape and how you need to be LOCKED UP for YOUR OWN GOOD.

So I am slow.  Because it's the CONE ZONE, and we have to be SAFE.

ETA:  So I don't WANNA be Mexico anymore.  I want to be the 21st century.  I have TEETH with which to GRIN, and I laugh all the time.  Not a healthy laugh, but it's a laugh and that's what counts.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 25, 2013, 04:20:08 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 25, 2013, 03:57:53 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on February 24, 2013, 03:56:06 PM
SLOW DOWN, my friends.

I AM slowing down.  I'm running like a mad bastard, but I'm up to my hips in mud, acid, and stupid people.  It's like one of those dreams, you know, not the one with Jerve Villachez crawling up your leg with a rose in his teeth.  No.  The other OTHER dream, where you can't seem to run worth a damn, and Al Haig and Richard Nixon are after you, waving affidavits and screaming that it wasn't their fault, it was YOUR fault and now you have to PAY, while Ed Meese clings to your back whispering into your ear about how porn causes rape and how you need to be LOCKED UP for YOUR OWN GOOD.

So I am slow.  Because it's the CONE ZONE, and we have to be SAFE.

ETA:  So I don't WANNA be Mexico anymore.  I want to be the 21st century.  I have TEETH with which to GRIN, and I laugh all the time.  Not a healthy laugh, but it's a laugh and that's what counts.

Also, the drugs are shit.  They do nothing.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 25, 2013, 04:42:25 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 25, 2013, 03:57:53 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on February 24, 2013, 03:56:06 PM
SLOW DOWN, my friends.

I AM slowing down.  I'm running like a mad bastard, but I'm up to my hips in mud, acid, and stupid people.  It's like one of those dreams, you know, not the one with Jerve Villachez crawling up your leg with a rose in his teeth.  No.  The other OTHER dream, where you can't seem to run worth a damn, and Al Haig and Richard Nixon are after you, waving affidavits and screaming that it wasn't their fault, it was YOUR fault and now you have to PAY, while Ed Meese clings to your back whispering into your ear about how porn causes rape and how you need to be LOCKED UP for YOUR OWN GOOD.

So I am slow.  Because it's the CONE ZONE, and we have to be SAFE.

ETA:  So I don't WANNA be Mexico anymore.  I want to be the 21st century.  I have TEETH with which to GRIN, and I laugh all the time.  Not a healthy laugh, but it's a laugh and that's what counts.

:eek:

Folks, I think we have our new 21st Century.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 25, 2013, 04:44:36 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on February 25, 2013, 04:42:25 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 25, 2013, 03:57:53 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on February 24, 2013, 03:56:06 PM
SLOW DOWN, my friends.

I AM slowing down.  I'm running like a mad bastard, but I'm up to my hips in mud, acid, and stupid people.  It's like one of those dreams, you know, not the one with Jerve Villachez crawling up your leg with a rose in his teeth.  No.  The other OTHER dream, where you can't seem to run worth a damn, and Al Haig and Richard Nixon are after you, waving affidavits and screaming that it wasn't their fault, it was YOUR fault and now you have to PAY, while Ed Meese clings to your back whispering into your ear about how porn causes rape and how you need to be LOCKED UP for YOUR OWN GOOD.

So I am slow.  Because it's the CONE ZONE, and we have to be SAFE.

ETA:  So I don't WANNA be Mexico anymore.  I want to be the 21st century.  I have TEETH with which to GRIN, and I laugh all the time.  Not a healthy laugh, but it's a laugh and that's what counts.

:eek:

Folks, I think we have our new 21st Century.

Tall, hairy, and with a former Attorney General hanging onto its back.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Junkenstein on February 25, 2013, 04:48:36 PM
Amigos,

Do not let the nominations for the current century disrupt your work. The gringos have still not provided long form sombreros.

The liberul media is trying to distract you with talk of witch hats!

Madre dios!

Amigos, please, write to your freinds in the world and highlight the cause. OUR MEXICO HAS NO SOMBRERO.

Only you can keep Mexico, Mexican.

El 3/7'sthshs (We've grown!  A bit!)
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Doktor Howl on May 17, 2018, 10:28:35 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 25, 2013, 04:48:36 PM
Amigos,

Do not let the nominations for the current century disrupt your work. The gringos have still not provided long form sombreros.

The liberul media is trying to distract you with talk of witch hats!

Madre dios!

Amigos, please, write to your freinds in the world and highlight the cause. OUR MEXICO HAS NO SOMBRERO.

Only you can keep Mexico, Mexican.

El 3/7'sthshs (We've grown!  A bit!)

It has been 5 long years, and neither sombreros nor the second half of the joke have been produced.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on May 17, 2018, 11:15:48 PM
This is not going to end well.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Junkenstein on May 19, 2018, 07:11:04 PM
This ends with EOC explaining to idiot that he's in mexico.

He's probably going to be doing that from an adjacent cell, which is the bad news for him.


There is no good news.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Doktor Howl on February 07, 2020, 09:16:22 PM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on May 17, 2018, 11:15:48 PM
This is not going to end well.

This is not going to end.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Eater of Clowns on February 07, 2020, 10:40:10 PM
I AM NOW RUNNING FROM MEXICO

You guys, this was fun, really this whole being Mexico thing? The election that I won by an incomparable landslide? The junta that deposed me and then forgot? A blast.

But I don't wanna be Mexico anymore. Doktor Howl, wanna be Mexico still because I don't. It's just like, phew, it's a fucking lot.

Vote Lizard Party 2020. Just please, please whatever you, do not vote Eater of Clowns for Mexico. Things are just all kinds of fucked up and I promise it's not anything I did it's just that as it turns out one man can't be a country I really thought it would be a pretty simple job but it's not.

And Project Infinite Mexico? Uh listen it's just best not to alarm anyone. Everything's cool with that, actually my FAQs were totally correct and it was a huge success so feel free for anyone to take credit for it. In fact, I insist.

LMNO do you want it? LMNO? Cain? Wanna be Mexico? Do you? Cram, hey CRAM have I got a country for you bud it's got loads of stuff! It's got history, it's got cuisine, it's got beaches and fucking like old temples and shit. Badass right? Great, so how about it, just be Mexico just for a little bit I promise I'll come right back.

I PROMISE
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: Doktor Howl on February 08, 2020, 04:48:41 AM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on February 07, 2020, 10:40:10 PM
I AM NOW RUNNING FROM MEXICO

You guys, this was fun, really this whole being Mexico thing? The election that I won by an incomparable landslide? The junta that deposed me and then forgot? A blast.

But I don't wanna be Mexico anymore. Doktor Howl, wanna be Mexico still because I don't. It's just like, phew, it's a fucking lot.

Vote Lizard Party 2020. Just please, please whatever you, do not vote Eater of Clowns for Mexico. Things are just all kinds of fucked up and I promise it's not anything I did it's just that as it turns out one man can't be a country I really thought it would be a pretty simple job but it's not.

And Project Infinite Mexico? Uh listen it's just best not to alarm anyone. Everything's cool with that, actually my FAQs were totally correct and it was a huge success so feel free for anyone to take credit for it. In fact, I insist.

LMNO do you want it? LMNO? Cain? Wanna be Mexico? Do you? Cram, hey CRAM have I got a country for you bud it's got loads of stuff! It's got history, it's got cuisine, it's got beaches and fucking like old temples and shit. Badass right? Great, so how about it, just be Mexico just for a little bit I promise I'll come right back.

I PROMISE

Oh, no.  You wanted it, baby, you got it.

I shall content myself with the second half of the joke.
Title: Re: I am now running for Mexico.
Post by: altered on February 08, 2020, 06:49:05 AM
I will take the Burden of Being Mexico off EoC's hands. However, there cannot be another general election and he has to take credit and responsibility for Project Infinite Mexico. My terms are non-negotiable.

I am not campaigning, but I promise to restore Mexico to its traditional borders after the catastrophe of Project Infinite Mexico, and to deliver the second half of the joke.