What about those weed gangsters that are mad about you giving speeches in Bumfuck, Maine?

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Messages - Eater of Clowns

Literate Chaotic / Re: Death of a 4th century Heretic
October 19, 2008, 09:56:41 PM
Quote from: LMNO on October 15, 2008, 02:30:39 PM
I just want to say I love the use of the phrase "violent relaxation".

We need to come up with some sort of catchphrase using it.

A Discordian results from the violent relaxation of the mind.
Or Kill Me / Re: Go OM:F Yourself
October 19, 2008, 08:49:57 PM
This is not why I joined up yesterday, but it's definitely a reason to stay.
Or Kill Me / Re: To the undecided voters
October 19, 2008, 08:36:50 PM
Quote from: Cainad on October 18, 2008, 11:56:30 PM
Oh, and did I mention that if you don't vote, you've got no right to complain if the next president sucks?

I agree.  Everyone legally able to vote should do so.  But should that be for Obama or McCain?  Not if you don't feel it's right.  Go to the polls, vote for whoever the fuck you think is qualified - could be a third party, could be your dad, it doesn't matter.

You'll get arguments until people are blue in the face about how it's throwing your vote away, but at the very least for the next four years you can say "Don't blame me, I voted for myself."
Principia Discussion / Re: Discordians in History
October 18, 2008, 04:40:40 PM
My first post, and humble attempt at an amusing thread.

Discordians Inadvertently Spark World War I

Striking out against the notoriously orderly road system of Sarajevo seemed a natural progression in tactics for the followers of Eris in the early 20th century.  Hastily erected roadside directions provided a delightful bit of disorder, specifically those which rerouted churchgoers to the pig farm or tricked parade leaders into marching back into their own tail.  The news of a royal visit in the area seemed the perfect time to practice their mastery of the system before moving on to Phase II, which involved the inexplicable placing of orange painted dunce caps along major roadways, an undertaking which was considered their greatest success until its adoption by a number of state-run maintenance crews.

Archduke Franz Ferdinand, being a proponent of the alliance system, known to Austrian Discordians at the time as "klausterfuchen," was a highly regarded noble for his recognition alongside Bismarck that the only way to prevent significant conflict was to be unable to discern which nations were aligned with which, an idea that would soon prove to be rather shortsighted.  To celebrate his forward thinking, his caravan was purposely rerouted to a butcher shop where he would be cordially invited to partake in No Hot Dog Buns, which in Germanic Discordian circles is still considered to be the only sacred rite within Discordia (on a side note, the phenomenon has only ever been explained as "Don't fuck with Germans and their sausage.").

The plan went horribly awry when a grenade thrown by members of The Black Hand detonated on a car behind Ferdinand's.  The Royal Family, wanting to see the survivors to the hospital, was diverted by inaccurate street signs, where it was discovered by Princip who took it upon himself to kill the heir to the Austro-Hungarian throne.  The rest is history.