So, I had a nice day out in Salisbury with an old friend, catching up and reminiscing about the good times. Anyway, she was visiting her step-brother later that evening, and I'm currently house-sitting, so I decided to go back home but not before stopping off at the supermarket and pick up a pizza, a couple of beers and the like, since I have no real plans for tonight.
So there I am, walking down the main high street, when I smell these two kids in front of me. And I mean smell, it was like they had drowned themselves in cider or something. Quite disgusting actually. But yeah, since this is the main road, and its still busy even in the evening, I try to slip past, brushing up against one of the guys as I do so. I quietly apologize and continue on.
I walk about two feet before I hear a slurred "hey you fucking twat, where the FUCK do you think you're going?" I keep going for about another five feet, stop, then slowly turn around to look at him. The kid's about 17, I would guess, maybe 18 at best. Greasy hair, acne, ill-fitting clothes, slight highness when he raised his voice while shouting at me. I look him up and down and say "I said I was sorry. What else do you want, a blowjob or something?" I turn to walk away, since though the kid looks puffed up, he doesn't seem on the verge of punching me. Not yet, while he gets to show off his astounding wit to his mate and random passerby's.
"Listen to me you cocky little faggot" he started. I hate that. I am slightly shorter than a lot of people, I accept that. I'm 5'9", so I know I'm not tall, but I'm not exactly a midget either. But it means everyone with a 2" height advantage thinks you're a midget or something. He seems to lose his thread for a second, then goes on "you don't think you can just mouth off to me like that do ya, ya fucking twat? See my mate here?" I glance to suspect number two, holding a mobile in his hands, then look back to Acne Boi. "He's got your fucking portrait now, you fucking idiot. Its his fucking screensaver. What you gonna do now, you cocky little fuck? We know your face, you twat. We'll track you down and fucking do your windows in mate."
I get a small adrenaline dump now. Its not exactly the sweating shakes anymore, since I've had quite a few over the past few years for one reason or another. Its more a tingle of excitement at the pit of my stomach, and slightly twitchy fingers. I'm alert now, my senses are sharp and I'm ready to react to any move him or his buddy make.
"Well", I start, "firstly I wont have to worry about that too much, since you'll have to grow some balls to try something like that, and I doubt I'll be here in 5 years time. And secondly, I trust the officer behind you caught that threat you made against my good self? You fucking idiot, mouthing off at someone on a main street in broad daylight. Remember now not to bend over if you drop the soap". I smiled as the copper in his bright flourescent jacket put a hand on each of the kid's shoulders.
Have I mentioned recently I hate this fucking town?
:lulz:
I was hoping for a spinning sidekick to the throat type ending, but that was pretty good too.
5' 9'' wow
put it this way im only 5' 6''
stopped growing when i hit high school which sucked cause i liked to play football was a pretty decent running back... but when all the others dwarf you and weigh twice your weight they wont let you play due to safety issues
but i know what you mean
back in sudbury the "in" thing to do was yell at people as you drive by them
and i mean like just walking down to the mall for 15 minutes you would get it at least once....
That is some awesome writing right there.
:mittens:
I had to read the dialogue out loud in Brit accents to get the full effect. :fap:
Quote from: Thurnez Isa on June 27, 2008, 07:42:27 PM
5' 9'' wow
put it this way im only 5' 6''
stopped growing when i hit high school which sucked cause i liked to play football was a pretty decent running back... but when all the others dwarf you and weigh twice your weight they wont let you play due to safety issues
but i know what you mean
back in sudbury the "in" thing to do was yell at people as you drive by them
and i mean like just walking down to the mall for 15 minutes you would get it at least once....
5'6"?
ME TOO!
We can be midgets together! Yay!
Quote from: Netaungrot on June 27, 2008, 07:42:00 PM
:lulz:
I was hoping for a spinning sidekick to the throat type ending, but that was pretty good too.
I'm pretty inflexible currently, it must be said...I'm working my way back into a routine, but its going to take a few months of hard work to get myself back up to a decent standard.
Also, CCTV. If I let someone else physically threaten me (ie walk up to me, grab me, throw a punch etc) first, then I'm within my rights to defend myself. Not that it matters, since I do not make a habit of getting involved in fights on main streets in broad daylight, unlike Acne Boi above.
Also lol, Discordians are the little people.
I like that it had a happy ending. Like a modern, urban fairy tale. :lol:
:mittens: for Cain
stupid townie pukes. They're the rot of every scumbag city. In White Plains the other day, I was running to catch a train, and this group of five kids, musta been high school seniors, are all walking shoulder to shoulder. No way around them. They look real buffed up, sneering, spitting, smoking cigarettes. I'm dashing by, and I check one on the shoulder to push past.
"Sorry," I say, "train's here," darting up the stairs.
I'm already at the top of the stairs by the time the little pisser grows the balls to shout,
"You just gonna hit me and run away, you little faggot?"
Hahah, what the fuck? real tough.
I flipped 'em off as I jumped on the train.
glad you stuck it to those chumps
What sucks is that the act of being polite is seen as a sign of weakness by these monkey-brained fucks.
/r/ Ratatosk to write us a poem about Acne Boi.
Quote from: Cain on June 27, 2008, 07:51:24 PM
Also lol, Discordians are the little people.
5'3". I make up for it by being angry.
SIX FEET.
Bow before me.
Quote from: Rabid Badger of God on June 27, 2008, 08:24:31 PM
Quote from: Cain on June 27, 2008, 07:51:24 PM
Also lol, Discordians are the little people.
5'3". I make up for it by being angry.
Holy shit it's true.
Nigel is like 3' 6".
I'm 6'2''.
Maybe I'm two discordians, stacked on top of one another.
I'm 5'5", Mr. Suu is 6'1".
I love how this thread evolved into us discussing our height.
Seriously though, I think a lot of my attitude (hostility) towards the world stems from being small and cute as a child. Getting called a "cute little girl" just made me EXPLODE IN BURNING FLAMES OF RAGE FUCK YOU MORMON PATRIARCHY TAKE ME SERIOUSLY ARRRGGHHHHH
Quote from: Rabid Badger of God on June 27, 2008, 09:15:30 PM
Seriously though, I think a lot of my attitude (hostility) towards the world stems from being small and cute as a child. Getting called a "cute little girl" just made me EXPLODE IN BURNING FLAMES OF RAGE FUCK YOU MORMON PATRIARCHY TAKE ME SERIOUSLY ARRRGGHHHHH *bob bob bob; blink blink*
I think the reason my brother grew so damn tall was self-defense. I'm 5'5" and have been since I was 12, my sister is 5'2"...and he's 6'4". This is what happens when you get put into dresses when flanked by 2 sisters in age.
I have no idea where my anger comes from. I just stopped growing slightly before some other people, so I was hardly teased for it. In fact, I was probably more pissed off with Acne Boi because I gave him a chance to be civil and he had to show what a hardnut he was with the bollocks photo business.
I don't get how that was supposed to be intimidating anyway. Oh no, he stole your soul?
I think it's in case he forgets who he was threatening that day.
Or maybe he just really liked Cain, and that was his way of getting a picture of him.
I usually just flat out ignore punks like that on the street. The other day some 40 year old thug dude sneered at me and called me a square—I didn't so much as blink and kept walking.
I'm 6' 1" but of my 2 brothers, I'm the smallest; so the little people conspiracy still applies (actually, no, no it doesn't).
Quote from: Rabid Badger of God on June 27, 2008, 09:23:58 PM
I don't get how that was supposed to be intimidating anyway. Oh no, he stole your soul?
Short memory spans and inability to remember faces is truly terrifying in a would-be stalker and window smasher.
6'4"
Suck it down.
Also. That was a lurvely story Cain.
fucking chavs had it coming.
This thread is starting to remind me of the old Dan Patrick radio show where he made every caller say their height and weight before talking:
Jason, Indianapolis. 6'1" 245. *ding*
Anyways, I guess this is one good thing about living in modern suburbia. You can't run into rude cunts on the sidewalk if there aren't any sidewalks in the first place.
Quote from: Rabid Badger of God on June 27, 2008, 09:23:58 PM
I don't get how that was supposed to be intimidating anyway. Oh no, he stole your soul?
:lulz:
Also, I am now realizing how very very sexy short men are, because Boots is only 5'5". :)
Teh Lizzie is 5'9 too.
I was halfway hoping that you'd go "martial artz masta" on their asses. The cop bit was brilliant though. Stupid fucks :lulz: If it makes you feel better, you can bat around Drama llama 1 for a bit. ;)
Quote from: Dysnomia on June 28, 2008, 01:50:36 AM
Teh Lizzie is 5'9 too.
I was halfway hoping that you'd go "martial artz masta" on their asses. The cop bit was brilliant though. Stupid fucks :lulz: If it makes you feel better, you can bat around Drama llama 1 for a bit. ;)
DAMNIT :argh!: i as hoping i was the tallest female here
5'7"... not good enough :sad:
6'2".
OP : Glad you got to watch the little punks get owned. Town wannabe punks make me yearn to be back in the city, where idiots just get rolled or shot.
Quote from: Frederieke Noodle van der Orange on June 28, 2008, 01:53:13 AM
Quote from: Dysnomia on June 28, 2008, 01:50:36 AM
Teh Lizzie is 5'9 too.
I was halfway hoping that you'd go "martial artz masta" on their asses. The cop bit was brilliant though. Stupid fucks :lulz: If it makes you feel better, you can bat around Drama llama 1 for a bit. ;)
DAMNIT :argh!: i as hoping i was the tallest female here
5'7"... not good enough :sad:
that's ok! With a good pair of heels you still beat me. :D
Quote from: Nigel on June 27, 2008, 11:43:05 PM
Also, I am now realizing how very very sexy short men are, because Boots is only 5'5". :)
Just now? I've always known that.
Quote from: Rabid Badger of God on June 28, 2008, 08:10:01 AM
Quote from: Nigel on June 27, 2008, 11:43:05 PM
Also, I am now realizing how very very sexy short men are, because Boots is only 5'5". :)
Just now? I've always known that.
I have never really dated a guy who was close to my height before. It's rad! I can kiss him without it being awkward or getting a stiff neck. Other stuff too. :) Also I feel more like, I dunno, equals.
Quote from: Nigel on June 28, 2008, 08:39:00 AM
Quote from: Rabid Badger of God on June 28, 2008, 08:10:01 AM
Quote from: Nigel on June 27, 2008, 11:43:05 PM
Also, I am now realizing how very very sexy short men are, because Boots is only 5'5". :)
Just now? I've always known that.
I have never really dated a guy who was close to my height before. It's rad! I can kiss him without it being awkward or getting a stiff neck. Other stuff too. :) Also I feel more like, I dunno, equals.
Exactly! Being too tall is definitely a dealbreaker for me.
fucking neds :argh!:
I feel you Cain. Stupid cunts try to start shit in broad daylight with witnesses and the law doesnt help, what with them having this stupid prohibition thing about killing them, so your hands are pretty much tied.
As soon as they drop the retarded legislation I'm taking a machette out to play, do a spot of service to the community and prune down the shit that's piling up on the streets :evil:
Quote from: Frederieke Noodle van der Orange on June 28, 2008, 01:53:13 AM
Quote from: Dysnomia on June 28, 2008, 01:50:36 AM
Teh Lizzie is 5'9 too.
I was halfway hoping that you'd go "martial artz masta" on their asses. The cop bit was brilliant though. Stupid fucks :lulz: If it makes you feel better, you can bat around Drama llama 1 for a bit. ;)
DAMNIT :argh!: i as hoping i was the tallest female here
5'7"... not good enough :sad:
6' 3" I win at the "tallest female on the board" game. (Though I think the Y chromosome makes it not count. :sad:)
Welcome to the monkey house, Cain.
i love that there was a cop right there.
little bitches :lulz:
Quote from: Frederieke Noodle van der Orange on June 28, 2008, 01:53:13 AM
Quote from: Dysnomia on June 28, 2008, 01:50:36 AM
Teh Lizzie is 5'9 too.
I was halfway hoping that you'd go "martial artz masta" on their asses. The cop bit was brilliant though. Stupid fucks :lulz: If it makes you feel better, you can bat around Drama llama 1 for a bit. ;)
DAMNIT :argh!: i as hoping i was the tallest female here
5'7"... not good enough :sad:
Har! My 14 year old son is 6'3". :lulz:
you procreated? :eek:
holy shit what a revelation
NO WONDER HES angry all the time
Quote from: Rabid Badger of God on June 30, 2008, 07:13:55 AM
NO WONDER HES angry all the time
The kid has HIS GENES!
And is a KID!
:cramstipated:
holy crap.
Rog has offspring.
it is a difficult thing to comprehend
also our kids are about the same age.
scary.
I believe he talked about his kids before
or was that on Faust's old hair forum
You is right, TI, Rog has talked about his daughter and son in various places on the 'net. Here, Faust's old place, eb&g...probably poee, too.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 30, 2008, 06:05:04 AM
Quote from: Frederieke Noodle van der Orange on June 28, 2008, 01:53:13 AM
Quote from: Dysnomia on June 28, 2008, 01:50:36 AM
Teh Lizzie is 5'9 too.
I was halfway hoping that you'd go "martial artz masta" on their asses. The cop bit was brilliant though. Stupid fucks :lulz: If it makes you feel better, you can bat around Drama llama 1 for a bit. ;)
DAMNIT :argh!: i as hoping i was the tallest female here
5'7"... not good enough :sad:
Har! My 14 year old son is 6'3". :lulz:
Hell, my 17 year old "little" brother is around 6'7" (and a complete and utter dork). Therefore, I win.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 30, 2008, 06:05:04 AM
Har! My 14 year old son is 6'3". :lulz:
i bet he's going to grow up being an awesome guy.
question, does he live with you and maria? or is he from a previous relationship? in the first case, how do you deal with when you eat cactus? (if this is too much a personal question, you dont have to answer, i'm just being curious)
Quote from: triple zero on June 30, 2008, 07:27:21 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 30, 2008, 06:05:04 AM
Har! My 14 year old son is 6'3". :lulz:
i bet he's going to grow up being an awesome guy.
question, does he live with you and maria? or is he from a previous relationship? in the first case, how do you deal with when you eat cactus? (if this is too much a personal question, you dont have to answer, i'm just being curious)
He lives in..... Germany....
Quote from: Payne on June 30, 2008, 07:28:51 PM
Quote from: triple zero on June 30, 2008, 07:27:21 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 30, 2008, 06:05:04 AM
Har! My 14 year old son is 6'3". :lulz:
i bet he's going to grow up being an awesome guy.
question, does he live with you and maria? or is he from a previous relationship? in the first case, how do you deal with when you eat cactus? (if this is too much a personal question, you dont have to answer, i'm just being curious)
He lives in..... Germany....
no, really?
that might explain ... some things then ... :?
Quote from: Cain on June 27, 2008, 07:37:15 PM
I hate dealing with testosterone fuelled punks
I don't.
Super humiliating pics later if I remember.
SPOILER: It involves a frat kid from a local university in half a wife-beating with severe lacerations on his back and a broken pinkie finger getting busted after he failed spectacularly to intimidate a certain PD poster and a prime example of why I keep a decent camera in my car.
Oh, and something that, as far as I can tell, is a frog purse. Really not sure why he had that but I swear to god he had a fucking purse resembling a frog.
I'm going to keep bumping this till I see that picture
Quote from: Rabid Badger of God on July 02, 2008, 08:14:27 AM
I'm going to keep bumping this till I see that picture
me too.
Same here.
Delivery for PD.com:
On second thought, redacted. Also, I'm probably not going to post any more pictures here again.
:lulz:
he deserves to be arrested just for that shirt
Can you feel the homosexual repression just radiating off of him?
x
Quote from: LMNO on July 02, 2008, 04:52:23 PM
Can you feel the homosexual repression just radiating off of him?
wont be repressed anymore in jail
i need more back story please because that picture is awesome
x
any idea why he wanted to start shit with you though, and could i have a copy of the picture without the faces blacked out so i can post in various places around the internet?
No and no.
Quote from: ten ton mantis on July 02, 2008, 04:45:27 PM
Delivery for PD.com:
On second thought, redacted. Also, I'm probably not going to post any more pictures here again.
:x
Sorry but I promised I'd post it when I was drunk and then I realized that this potentially could affect me professionally which is very double plus ungood.
i didnt even get to see it :argh!:
always missin the show.
always.
Quote from: Squiddy on July 03, 2008, 05:45:42 AM
i didnt even get to see it :argh!:
always missin the show.
always.
this
goddamn it this :(
I can mock up what it looked like if you want?
I haz sooper mad skillz.
If you can cunningly replicate that purse, then they are mad skillz indeed.
I'll do this later, I need to run off and do stuff IRL *shudders*.
But soon..... I have ideas for the mock up already!
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/TTMmockup.jpg)
This picture has nothing to do with TTM. AT ALL. Honest.
But here's the story....
One day, "Johnny" was walking to the gay bar, when a Connor Trinneer attacked him, screaming that it was "Johnnys" fault that Enterprise had been cancelled. This was of course bullshit. The Trinneer clone proceeded to vent his frustration at being reduced to being an exotic dancer at Kermits Gay Bar, with a raped first aider theme, by threatening our intrepid hero.
Letting loose the full fury of his nuclear powered fists, "Johnny" knocked back the Trinneers violent, homoerotic attack, and managed to hold off the metrosexual star until the cops arrived.
As the "star" was being escorted away, our main man, our protagonist, snapped this very picture to prove to us how fuckin' awesome he is.
I hope this meets with your approval?
:lulz:
100% ROFLcake
BUMP
Quote from: Payne on July 03, 2008, 05:35:08 PM
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/TTMmockup.jpg)
This picture has nothing to do with TTM. AT ALL. Honest.
But here's the story....
One day, "Johnny" was walking to the gay bar, when a Connor Trinneer attacked him, screaming that it was "Johnnys" fault that Enterprise had been cancelled. This was of course bullshit. The Trinneer clone proceeded to vent his frustration at being reduced to being an exotic dancer at Kermits Gay Bar, with a raped first aider theme, by threatening our intrepid hero.
Letting loose the full fury of his nuclear powered fists, "Johnny" knocked back the Trinneers violent, homoerotic attack, and managed to hold off the metrosexual star until the cops arrived.
As the "star" was being escorted away, our main man, our protagonist, snapped this very picture to prove to us how fuckin' awesome he is.