Messages

1

Propaganda Depository / Re: ESP in One Month practice

« on: June 24, 2022, 03:01:05 am »

There is only one Hirley0.

2

Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)

« on: June 23, 2022, 12:26:39 am »

The ruckus at work today:

So imagine you're a 40 something private security guard who peaked in the Navy in 2000 or so, and you don't really think about the 20+ years of hamburgers between then and now.  And there's this hot new girl up in the <agency> office, fresh out of college.
So you find an excuse to go chat her up.

She doesn't seem to be receiving the message you're sending, and asks you to leave her office.  Heh.  Playing hard to get.  Keep chatting.
But there's a couple of things you didn't know.

1.  Her boss thoughtfully installed a panic button at everyone's desk.

2.  The panic button doesn't go to your clown coworkers.  No.  It goes somewhere else entirely.

And when you look up and down the hallway, there's Hamish coming from one direction, with a US Marshal behind him.

And the other direction has Sideways Dave, dancing to music only he can hear coming the other way.  700 pounds of angry humans are coming to explain to you, in terms you will understand, the error of your ways.

Fade to black.

3

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only

« on: June 22, 2022, 04:57:05 pm »

Quite honestly I cannot tel if this is fiction or whether you really did all this.

I would call that alone a true win.

I do a lot of stupid shit these days.

That should be written on a sign posted outside Earth

Add "We didn't ask for your help, alien swine.  Get fucked.  Sincerely, The Primates."

4

Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)

« on: June 22, 2022, 12:36:50 am »

Today at work:

Tina:  "Billy says your title at your last place was 'wizard'."

Me:  "Billy talks too much."

Tina:  "So was your title actually 'wizard'?"

Me:  "Yes.  But I feel I should mention that my boss was under a lot of stress when he did that."

Tina:  "So yes."

Me:  "Yes."

Tina:  "So wizard me a sandwich, bish."

Me:  "..."

Tina:  "This is hungry work."

5

Aneristic Illusions / Re: Many bloodsucking insects

« on: June 21, 2022, 07:18:33 pm »

Line 1989-1988:

JER BIDUM STOLE DER LECTION!!!!1111

6

Aneristic Illusions / Re: Many bloodsucking insects

« on: June 21, 2022, 07:17:44 pm »

OMFG, THEY REFERENCE AGENDA 21.

 

Line 1970.

7

Aneristic Illusions / Re: Many bloodsucking insects

« on: June 21, 2022, 07:11:25 pm »

Holy shit.  Line 1479.

"Let's get rid of no-fault divorce."   

8

Aneristic Illusions / Re: Many bloodsucking insects

« on: June 21, 2022, 06:59:45 pm »

Texas just published its convention draft platform.

https://texasgop.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/Temp-Committee-ROUGH-FINAL-REPORT-6-15-2022.pdf

 

This reads like Franklin Graham has been into the datura again.

9

Aneristic Illusions / Re: Crazification Factor

« on: June 21, 2022, 05:22:47 pm »

http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Crazification_factor

Crazification factor is a neologism coined by blogger John Rogers to refer to the portion of the electorate comprising the nuttiest of the wingnuts and the batshit crazy. In Rogers' words:

“”Obama vs. Alan Keyes. Keyes was from out of state, so you can eliminate any established political base; both candidates were black, so you can factor out racism; and Keyes was plainly, obviously, completely crazy. Batshit crazy. Head-trauma crazy. But 27% of the population of Illinois voted for him. They put party identification, personal prejudice, whatever ahead of rational judgement. Hell, even like 5% of Democrats voted for him. That's crazy behaviour. I think you have to assume a 27% Crazification Factor in any population.[1]

Thus, people in this category are called the "27 percenters." Perhaps the greatest confirmation of the existence of said factor in the last decade can be found in a 2003 poll of Russian attitudes toward Josef Stalin in which 36% thought he was a pretty cool dude.

http://www.gallup.com/poll/110806/bushs-approval-rating-drops-new-low-27.aspx

According to a Sept. 26-27 USA Today/Gallup poll, just 27% of Americans approve of the job George W. Bush is doing as president, the lowest rating of his presidency.

And just today:

http://ukpollingreport.co.uk/blog/archives/7141

Ipsos MORI’s monthly political monitor is out, with topline figures of CON 27%(-3), LAB 40%(-2), LDEM 11%(+4), UKIP 13%(+4).

I wonder if this can be linked to the country's inability to hold back stupid for longer than 8 weeks.

10

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only

« on: June 21, 2022, 05:20:01 pm »

Quite honestly I cannot tel if this is fiction or whether you really did all this.

I would call that alone a true win.

I do a lot of stupid shit these days.

11

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only

« on: June 21, 2022, 03:41:37 pm »

I figured you could sparge noodles.

Put it in a Pyrex sphere with water and no remaining air space, superheat the sphere with ether, and the water can't boil because of the pressure, so it just migrates into the ramen.  It worked, too.  15 second ramen.

Then the Pyrex went bang at about 15 atmospheres of pressure, squashed my face shield up against my googles, causing me to swallow most of my left front tooth.  Also some mild flash burns & concert ears.

I call it a partial success.  It would have been a complete success if I knew where the ramen wound up.  Not in my yard, anyway.

I am reasonably sure that the chlorine in the water came unglued into O2, adding vapor, which could expand and you'd only need the Pyrex to have uneven pressure for a fraction of a second.

That is, frankly, entirely awesome.

Are you going to try again, maybe with a sturdier pressure vessel?

Is it possible that outgassing from the ramen is part of the problem?  I'm not sure if that term applies to non-vacuum environments, but I'd think the ramen might have some air dissolved or trapped in it, and of course the ramen itself has dozens of little nucleation points.

No, this is the sort of thing I feel you should only try once.

12

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only

« on: June 21, 2022, 03:47:38 am »

Yeah, happened to me back in about November. I got lucky and am unscathed. I treat ramen with due respect these days. Was it the semi-fancy Nongshim stuff that got you, too?

FTR, I'm not riffing or joking, I'm glad you're mostly okay because I have genuinely seen this happen firsthand (at a fair distance).

Naw, I'm fine with it.

I mean, okay, I tried something new and it WORKED but then it exploded.  This is better than when I cut off a chunk of my ear prepping burgers, because I was at least successful.

Well, after a fashion.  I have no idea where the ramen wound up.

Tried something.

What did you try?

I figured you could sparge noodles.

Put it in a Pyrex sphere with water and no remaining air space, superheat the sphere with ether, and the water can't boil because of the pressure, so it just migrates into the ramen.  It worked, too.  15 second ramen.

Then the Pyrex went bang at about 15 atmospheres of pressure, squashed my face shield up against my googles, causing me to swallow most of my left front tooth.  Also some mild flash burns & concert ears.

I call it a partial success.  It would have been a complete success if I knew where the ramen wound up.  Not in my yard, anyway.

I am reasonably sure that the chlorine in the water came unglued into O2, adding vapor, which could expand and you'd only need the Pyrex to have uneven pressure for a fraction of a second.

13

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only

« on: June 21, 2022, 03:41:38 am »

I saw the picture on Facebook! How's the (lack of) tooth feeling?

Well, the roots have to come out.

Right now I put the pain, if measured from 1 to 10, at King Kong.

14

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only

« on: June 20, 2022, 07:05:49 am »

Yeah, happened to me back in about November. I got lucky and am unscathed. I treat ramen with due respect these days. Was it the semi-fancy Nongshim stuff that got you, too?

FTR, I'm not riffing or joking, I'm glad you're mostly okay because I have genuinely seen this happen firsthand (at a fair distance).

Naw, I'm fine with it.

I mean, okay, I tried something new and it WORKED but then it exploded.  This is better than when I cut off a chunk of my ear prepping burgers, because I was at least successful.

Well, after a fashion.  I have no idea where the ramen wound up.

15

Propaganda Depository / Re: ESP in One Month practice

« on: June 20, 2022, 05:36:33 am »

Mme Jean-Robert,

It is with a profound sense of regret, not to mention contempt and revulsion, with which I must write to say that a collaboration between us will be impossible.

Upon preliminary reading, the text is an incoherent, maundering morass of run-on sentences and unintelligible grammar, which would make even the most iron-jawed of highschool English teachers tear their hair and weep in shame and rage.  It is entirely beyond redemption.  It is execrable; the gosling who consumed a page and promptly converted it to goose-shit only improved it thereby, and I sincerely recommend you employ angry waterfowl to do your copy-editing in the future.

What fragments one can extract from this putrid heap of verbiage betray an utter lack of comprehension of even the most basic principles of natural philosophy, let alone quantum mechanics.  Had I attempted to employ "quantum entanglement" to perform ESP, as per your directions, I would surely have entangled my ass-hair in the rototiller--an experience which, having already endured once, I see no reason to repeat during this lifetime.

With eternal loathing,

cno


Disclaimer:  I didn't actually receive or read a copy of the article, although I can't see why that should make any difference.

I just lost a front tooth and a few layers of skin making Ramen, and I think that was more enjoyable than reading that drek.