Messages

1

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only

« on: November 17, 2023, 12:59:58 am »

hey yall, still alive somehow. Spent pretty much this entire year living in a bad Mexican soap opera. I'll probably go into more detail when i have more spoons.

Good to see you.

But it's worth mentioning this board is a misery fest at the moment, so you are once more in a Mexican soap opera.

Altered is having a rough go, my mother just went into hospice care, and Scribbly (previously known as Demosquid) is also not dancing any fandangos. CNO seems to be doing alright.

And aside from one or two pinealists, that's all that's left.  Everyone else drifted away (by which I mean "ran") when wossername's ring wasn't properly kissed.

2

Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)

« on: November 09, 2023, 10:03:43 pm »

So Fatima and Scott will be out for a little while, because somehow they thought the vibe table would be a fun place to knock boots.

They are expected to make complete recoveries.

3

Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)

« on: October 25, 2023, 12:58:18 am »

Things I said at work today:

"Well, I don't know why you would need the keys to the wind tunnel, Fatima, but I'm sure you have a good reason.  Here you go."

"No, I don't know why the camera for the wind tunnel went down.  Might be related to the altitude chamber camera problem."

"I'll wait til I get home to take a shit."  *Gets on I10*  *parks*  *nothing moves*  UNNNNNNNNNG

4

Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)

« on: October 19, 2023, 05:27:25 am »

Board member:  "Can you explain the video clip we just watched?"

Hamish:  "Yes.  That's two of my engineers fucking in the altitude chamber.  I would think that was obvious."

Board member:  "I can see that.  What are you going to do about it?"

Hamish:  "Get the janitor have him clean up, and give him a nice bonus."

Board member:  "No, what are you going to do with those engineers?"

Hamish:  "Nothing.  I'm a married man."

Board member:  "Don't play stupid with me."

Hamish:  "I never play."

Other board member: "WHY. ARE. THEY. STILL. WORKING. HERE?"

Hamish:  "Because normal people won't work here.  We make war crimes.  These kids are instrumental in said war crimes, and all they ask is for the use of the chamber once in a while."

Both board members:  "..."

Hamish:  "I also believe that we're looking at unrealized assets, here.  People would line up to pay to fuck in an altitude chamber."

Board member:  *turns red.  Hamish's job security is looking dicey*

Hamish:  "I mean, we only use that thing for like 3 hours a month, and that depreciation isn't getting any cheaper."

Other board member:  "Just get out.  Go back to work.  Or whatever you do when we're not here."

Board member:  "What DO you do here?"

Hamish:  "I find weasels who rat their buddies out to the front office, and then I come up with the hundred and *fifth* use for ballistic gel.  Look, this is really simple.  You allow minor perversions, and these kids will make really, really big perversions for you.  I mean, next to what we produce, what is a little hanky panky at 2500 meters?"

Other board member:  "Which part is giving you trouble?  The get part or the out part?"

Well, back to work.

5

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only

« on: October 12, 2023, 05:35:29 am »

My mother's cancer, which has been controlled for years now, is galloping off with her.

6

Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)

« on: October 05, 2023, 12:48:16 am »

Hamish:  *does desk haka*

Scott:  "WTF?"

Fatima:  "He just got made a director and it seems to have driven him mad."

Hamish:  "MAD WITH POWER!"

Hamish:  *sticks tongue out, grimaces, roars*

Fatima:  "It's so sad when their aging minds give out."

Hamish:  "Be nice.  I know what you two have been up to in the altitude chamber."

Fatima:  "I will end you and they will never find the body."

Hamish:  "I gotta say, that is the laziest mile high club I've ever heard of."

Fatima:  *starts rage face*

Scott:  "You should run, boss."

Hamish:  *grimaces some more, makes chopping motions with his hands.*

7

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only

« on: October 05, 2023, 12:37:31 am »

Turns out making all the doctors and nurses flee to Canada and Australia and then making our immigration system so impossibly frustrating and difficult that no-one wants to come here was not a winning strategy. Who knew?

Try and keep well the best you can, though. I'm sure you've heard it before and know what to do, but fluids and rest, rest and fluids. 4 weeks is quite the ass-kicking, so hopefully it passes soon.

Yeah its been pretty brutal.

Think I'm finally past it now at least. Lingering cough but I'll just have to live with that.

Genuinely horrified at the state of the NHS right now. Hard to see what they're actually going to be selling off when they do finally put it on the auction block.

WELCOME TO AMERICA!  Pool's onna roof.

8

Principia Discussion / Re: What does it mean to Immanentize the Eschaton?

« on: September 24, 2023, 04:48:00 am »

opinions on "Don't Let THEM Immanetize the Eschaton"

It's my job. 

9

Principia Discussion / Re: Local 73rd Hermits Cabal

« on: September 24, 2023, 04:45:59 am »

Individual called Altered,

why are you even here?

Iffin you want to smash and destroy everything weird, why not convert to Thelema and serve Ra Hoor Khuit?

I disregard your aggro control trip.  Discordianism is chill hippie shit designed to be open-ended. 

Also, I'm even doing it in a formal way that rhymes with the old way.  And this forum is so quiet that there can expected to be nothing new for the next several decades.  Why ban anyone?

How about you fuck off?

10

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only

« on: September 16, 2023, 01:23:32 am »

Sorry, there is no future left.  My generation and the one before mine used it all up.  Sorry about that.

It's the middle of September, and Saskatchewan is still getting air quality warnings because of smoke from wildfires.

After this summer, I'm surprised there's anything left to burn.

There's always more Canada.

11

Apple Talk / Re: Official shit on rong thread

« on: September 15, 2023, 08:16:55 pm »

How did this ever work out?

I haven't seen the little shitneck since.

12

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only

« on: September 15, 2023, 07:31:26 pm »

I used to be creative. I used to be bright. I used to have a FUTURE.

Sorry, there is no future left.  My generation and the one before mine used it all up.  Sorry about that.

13

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only

« on: September 15, 2023, 07:30:37 pm »

Hey y'all,

Still here.  Still a cook.  Still a drummer. Still married. Still queer.  Still not talking or writing very much.

Still happy.

Still here.  Still doing questionable shit for bad people.  Still married.  Still writing, under a different name, at a different place (solely due to lack of anyone being here).  Still full of rage.

Still happy, here at the end of all things.

14

Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)

« on: September 15, 2023, 05:50:13 pm »

Today at work

Me:  "Don't get pissed off at me, and I know you can take care of yourself, but I am required to ask you whether or not Scott following you around like a puppy dog is making you uncomfortable."

Fatima:  "It is not."

Me:  "You're sure."

Fatima:  "I have tentatively decided to not kill him."

Me:  "Wow.  You two are crushing hard."

Fatima:  "Crush?  Crush?  If you want me to show you a crush, come to the machine shop's press and I WILL SHOW YOU CRUSH!"

Me: "No, that will not be necessary.  On another subject, how is the project going?"

Fatima:  "Slow.  I need to do a live test."

Me:  "And just where would we do that without starting a war?  I mean, this thing is hard to miss."

Fatima:  *scowls* "details.  I need some explodey data."

Me:  "That's not even a word."

Fatima:  "It is the best word."

15

Apple Talk / Andy Rooney Moment

« on: September 14, 2023, 06:34:02 pm »

<Mickey Rooney voice>

You ever had someone you thought you were friends with for 21 years just flat-up ghost you?  I hate that.

</Mickey Rooney voice>

I should be used to it, given my earlier revelation that A friend is a close person who hasn't yet had sufficient incentive to turn on you, or at least show you the door.

And this isn't anything new for me,  and I realize that I'm not everyone's cup of tea.  I was picked last in every sport in junior high.  I was never invited.  I had to walk home from school, because nobody would give me a ride.

Then I got a little bit of Eris in my life.  I bought a 1976 Gran Fury (the one with the Windsor 360 V8/4 Barrel) for $500, got the Chilton's manual on it, and over the course of a summer, I had that bastard ready to race by fall.  Made some friends doing it, too.  Gearheads were hard to come by.  But even then, I was only ever an "honorary" member of the pack.  But at least I was connected.

That year I also got heavily into computers (1985 or so), and I again made some almost-friends, they would have been actual friends, but I thought they were a little obsessed and they thought I was a Gearhead (indistinguishable from a Jock in their eyes) that might suddenly turn on them and bounce them off their heads until their lunch money fell out.

The money shot of all of this is that by 1986, I had the Gearheads and the computer nerds hanging out, doing what is now called skill sharing

But that new, burgeoning group was full.  There was no place for me.  I mean, they'd all be pleasant, "how ya doing", etc, but once again, I was never invited.  Friendly but not friends.

Since then, I have been a soldier.  I was good at it.  I was looked on with favor by the senior noncommissioned officers for my ability to train newbies coming fresh out of basic.  But then something bad happened, and everyone for the rest of my time in the army looked at me like I was bad luck.  And then I was a civilian again, with a gimpy leg.

Fast forward 29 years.  I am at the top of my field.  I have finally hit the invisible PhD ceiling, and I'm okay with that.  I am still not invited, and I have come to realize that part of that is my fault.  Hell, maybe the majority of it is my fault.  I know that some of my odious personal habits rub people the wrong way, and that my taciturn behavior in person means that even Star Trek Nerds don't want to spend very much time with me at conventions.

Lastly, I am getting older, by which I mean I am eligible for AARP, so now I don't expect to be invited. 

Now, I'm not just trying to whine here, I'm actually sorta building up to something. 

And that something is this:  "If you ghosted me, I have no hard feelings.  It is what it is.  But I'm not where you left me, and I am reasonable sure I never will be again.  Go forth and enjoy your life over the next couple of overly-exciting decades, and forget you ever knew me.  We all have to make choices in this life, and you've made yours."

That's all I have to say about that.

Or Kill Me Leave Me Hangin'