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Every year myself and my alter-egoes give out, among many other awards, the Tin Phallus Award for the biggest cocksucker in American politics. Past winners have been Admiral Poindexter, President Bush, Ken Starr, etc. That being said, we are proud to award THIS year's Tin Phallus to Senator RICK SANTORUM! For being the most amazing queer-hating politician I think we have right now. His erm...valiant attempts to make sure that marriage stays between one man and one woman and for giving us delightful MonstersUndertheBeds stories about what Gay Marriage will do to society. (Encourage incest and beastiality, turn all of our children into crackheads. Gay marriage will rape your mother and sell hardcore pornography to your baby sister, will bring hellfire and brimstone pouring from the sky, raise your taxes, mutilate cattle, milk your cats, etc.)

Congrats Rick, for being such as asshole. Now lets show ya what gay men like to do to assholes. *shoves the award up his ass. applause for rick as he walks offstage with a funny gait.*

The courts said something or other about the Pledge of Allegience, whatever. Fucking stupid hooplah.
Yeah, I keep discovering that I'm more of a Liberal than I thought I was. I used to be Conservative, but I got over it and decided to be jus whatever, but more and more I end up siding with Liberal's on things. I mean, maybe it's the conservative hypocrisy: They bitch and bitch over how they want smaller government, more freedom, blah blah blah, but then they vehemetly oppose any freedoms for things non-conservative: Pr0n, Homosexuality, Neo-Pagans, the Occult, and things they consider immoral. El Presidente puts $135 million (!) behind Abstinence ONLY programs, which ammounts basicaly to the Federal Government declaring their siding with the Christians on the issue of pre-marital sex. There is something going down in the congress to pass something called the Constitutional Reformation Act which is dedicated to putting the 10 Commandments up roughly everywhere, to enforce prayer in schools, and to make everyone say UNDER GOD in the pledge. If you don't want to say UNDER GOD then conservatives like Joe Farrah, Ann Coulter, Bill O'Reily, Tony Snow, and worst of all, Bush's little piece of ass himself Sean Hannity, will rail at you and spit on thee and declare thee unamerican for not worshiping their GOD in the official pledge of the nation.

FUCK YES! Which GOD do they speak of indeed!? Krishna? Ganeesha? Eris? Great Pan? Zeus? THERE ARE TRILLIONS OF BILLIONS OF POSSIBILITIES, BUT my children, my precious ones, WE all know who they mean. The Satanic God Jehovah! YAHWEH! BIBLEGOD

The God of the OLDE Testicles! Mr Genocide, Lord of Smitery! THE ALIEN MEANACE OF JHVH-1! Yes, the COnservatives want you to be forced to pay HOMMAGE to a terrible alien god of horror death and general all purpose GOONERY! THEY (who we will now refer to as THEM, the Five Orders of Discordia) print this bastard's name on our money! ON OUR SACRED MONEY! IN GOD WE TRUST! IN JHVH-1, A SPACE GHOD OF INCOMPREHENSIBLE RETARDATION AND ILL-WILL WE TRUST!

It makes me SICK! FUCKING SICK! How about in Eris we trust? FUCK WE SHOULD BE SO LUCKY! Baptists have a higher divorce rate than ATHEISTS! GOOD GOD! RUSH LIMBAUGH, KING KONG OF THE KONSERVATIVES IS GETTINGA A DIVORCE! AGAIN! The comedy! The outright blatant HUMOROR! I piss on the conservatives! I PISS ON THEIR HEADS! (this does not apply to the ones I know, I merely wish for your salvation) I SHIT INTO THE MOUTH OF SEAN HANNITY! I glance my evil EYE at Jerry Falwell and Joyce Meyers! Have you SEEN that bitch's website!? OH HO HO! They will be satisfied with NOTHING less than a THEOCRACY!

YIP YIP YEE! Take drugs! Smash police cars! Steal things! Fly fiery airplaes into young children and laugh at their parents! DESTROY! DESTROOOOY! CAN I GET AN AMEN!? even those of you who dissagree with me! come on! AMEN! A FUCKING MEN DAMMIT!

PEACE CHILDREN! Good GOLLY Miss Molly!When will it END!? When willt he STOP PUMPING NERVE GAS INTO YOUR ROOMS AT NIGHT AND POISONING THE WELLS!? WHEN WILL GOVERNMENT EEEEEND!? They opress you everyDAY in everyWAY that they can! The only answer if CHEEZ WIZ! MOTATOV COCKTAILS MADE FROM CHEEZ WIZ! YES! GENTLEMEN! TURN IT ON!

And we shall come for you with our RAZOR!