This reminds me of a coworker who, after a particularly contentious work meeting said, "There's a difference between laying down and taking cover."
Sometimes I rattle the cage and beat my head uselessly against its bars, but sometimes, I can shake one loose and use it as a dildo.
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Show posts MenuQuote from: Doktor Howl on July 11, 2021, 08:45:40 AMQuote from: chaotic neutral observer on July 09, 2021, 09:13:38 PMQuote from: altered on June 27, 2021, 10:08:43 AMQuote from: Doktor Howl on June 23, 2021, 05:24:31 AM
Birds cannot be trusted. They are not on our side.
I warned everyone.
A single blow to the back of the head, and my perspective is irrevocably changed.
Is this a kind of enlightenment? But it came not from the cudgel of a well-meaning Buddhist monk, but from a black-winged devil.
The crows are everywhere. How did I not notice this before? Every time I leave the house, they're there, shrieking, rasping, lurking, glaring with soulless eyes. They're almost always in groups of 3 or 4, and seem to have a affinity for parks. They are intensely territorial, and will scream continuously if they consider me an intruder....which seems to be about half the time.
Now, whenever I hear a crow, or see one, I snap into a heightened level of awareness. I need to know where they are and what they are doing. I am beginning to learn their language. When I walk past a group, I turn to watch them, in case one decides to swoop down on me.
And one did, this morning, in a park far removed from the earlier attack. As I passed, it started circling at a low altitude, perhaps just warning me off, but maybe looking for an opening to attack. But I kept turning to face it, maintained eye contact, and it broke off and perched on a lamppost. If it had actually dove, I would have tried to knock it away. I don't know what the outcome of that would be, but I think I'd rather take damage to an arm than to my face.
I'm starting to think about maintaining air cover while I walk. Directly under a tree, I'm likely safe; but a short distance from a tree, or anywhere out in the open, I'm a target. There really aren't many safe spaces, when you start to think about it.
Crows, it turns out, are the only creatures other than humans to "know what they know". They do this intentionally, not as some kind of instinct.
Exterminate the brutes.
Quote from: altered on March 18, 2020, 09:14:24 PMQuote from: Doktor Howl on March 18, 2020, 09:12:02 PM
None of this would have happened, had I been elected a few years back.
You were, in fact, elected to be our 21st Century, so this is actually all your fault.