Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Propaganda Depository => RPG Ghetto => Topic started by: Don Coyote on October 11, 2015, 02:30:42 pm

Title: How to tell your GM is Defective
Post by: Don Coyote on October 11, 2015, 02:30:42 pm
They use a supplement, but claim they hate it because they changed the core assumptions that make it work, so now it doesn't work very well (Mythic Adventures)
They think DR should always, and easily, be overcome (On two separate characters I had items that made material based DR irrelevent)
When they play in your game, after saying you MUST run PF, they complain about the amount and quality of treasure in a published by Paizo module (It gets better)
They cry about CR appropriate encounters that don't kill them, could have easily but didn't because suffering. (NIGHTMARE CREATURES)
They complain about ALMOST dying from a CR appropriate encounter, that didn't have to fight, because they just charged in (Necrocraft are sweet)
They constantly mix-up rules from 3, 3.5, and 4 with PF.
Title: Re: How to tell your GM is Defective
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 11, 2015, 05:28:41 pm
They ever say the words "But I don't want you to level up."

or

"Clerics are busted.  You can play one, but it has the same BAB as a wizard."

or

"You can't use evasion because there's nowhere to dodge."

Title: Re: How to tell your GM is Defective
Post by: Don Coyote on October 11, 2015, 06:12:23 pm
They ever say the words "But I don't want you to level up."

or

"Clerics are busted.  You can play one, but it has the same BAB as a wizard."

or

"You can't use evasion because there's nowhere to dodge."

"You can roll a fort save vs the fireball" to anyone.

"You have to roll for concealment vs the tarrasque even though you are top of it."

"Here is a magical item that totally negates your first mythic tier power"

"Look the game expect you to have the weapons to defeat the monsters when they become level appropriate encounters"

"Nightmare is a 5th level spell and requires at least a 9th level caster so your CR 3 monster (that we killed in one round) was definitely not a fair encounter" (Oh wait sorry that was a defective player)

"If you dare look up any of the monsters or try to reverse engineer my encounters I will have it come back at a later date more powerful" (Said after the encounter was over and we won)

"I want to you remind me when I use 3e, 3.5, or 4e rules and not PF rules" followed by "I hate rules lawyers"

Title: Re: How to tell your GM is Defective
Post by: Cain on October 11, 2015, 06:40:05 pm
"You fail a Perception test to realise a trap is actually a goblin with a spear hiding in a wall and he pokes your eye out.  -4 to all missile weapon rolls and attacks from the left side, for the rest of your life".

Still a bit salty about that one.  Especially because I was a half-ef rogue with maxed out perception who noticed the "trap" in the first place.
Title: Re: How to tell your GM is Defective
Post by: Don Coyote on October 11, 2015, 06:42:41 pm
"every-time you said 'shenanigans' I added more hp to the monsters. I've been doing this for weeks, because I can't understand humor or vocal tones"
Title: Re: How to tell your GM is Defective
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on October 11, 2015, 11:41:01 pm
They ever say the words "But I don't want you to level up."

or

"Clerics are busted.  You can play one, but it has the same BAB as a wizard."

or

"You can't use evasion because there's nowhere to dodge."

:gonk: :crankey: :fuckoff: :pissed:  :angrymob:

:walken: :jihaad:
:mccain: :cramstipated:


Cainad,
lived through that
Title: Re: How to tell your GM is Defective
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 12, 2015, 03:48:14 am
They ever say the words "But I don't want you to level up."

or

"Clerics are busted.  You can play one, but it has the same BAB as a wizard."

or

"You can't use evasion because there's nowhere to dodge."

:gonk: :crankey: :fuckoff: :pissed:  :angrymob:

:walken: :jihaad:
:mccain: :cramstipated:


Cainad,
lived through that

All three of those quotes are from actual game play.
Title: Re: How to tell your GM is Defective
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on October 13, 2015, 01:21:57 pm
Every single plot arc is lifted from a book, TV show, or movie. Transparently so. In a game that lasts over a year.
Title: Re: How to tell your GM is Defective
Post by: Don Coyote on October 13, 2015, 02:17:09 pm
You are expected to be as eloquent as your 18+ Charisma maxed out Diplomacy character, even at 9pm after 11 hours of playing.
Alternately, you can easily ignore your character's 8 Charisma and lack of social skills by just being well spoken.

Expects you to know his houserules that aren't written down and distributed.
Alternately, ignores his own houserules.

Will argue at length that even though it's written nowhere one of the devs really did say that katana are supposed to be finessable weapons.
Title: Re: How to tell your GM is Defective
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on October 13, 2015, 03:10:50 pm
Punishes players for imagined social sleights by ruining shit for their characters.
Title: Re: How to tell your GM is Defective
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 14, 2015, 02:01:54 am
Leaves out little details when describing a room.  Like the bigass dragon.
Title: Re: How to tell your GM is Defective
Post by: Cain on October 14, 2015, 02:25:59 am
Leaves out little details when describing a room.  Like the bigass dragon.

Or a "trap" operated by a goblin with a spear...

Cain,
not letting go of this.
Title: Re: How to tell your GM is Defective
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on October 14, 2015, 03:44:52 am
Punishes players for imagined social sleights by ruining shit for their characters.

Shit like this is a big part of why I got out of LARPing.



Makes everyone roll initiative and THEN declares a surprise round without any description or perception checks, bad guys just appear out of nowhere and seem strangely knowledgeable about who's going first.

Allows noob player to play with rare or unusual character type previously denied to veterans as "unbalancing".

Has ever said an adversary character "just gets away" without any sort of check in the middle of a chase or combat without even trying to come up with a creative means or otherwise enhancing the plot.  :argh!:
Title: Re: How to tell your GM is Defective
Post by: LMNO on October 14, 2015, 04:53:35 am
Leaves out little details when describing a room.  Like the bigass dragon.

Or a "trap" operated by a goblin with a spear...

Cain,
not letting go of this.

I smell a meme.
Title: Re: How to tell your GM is Defective
Post by: Don Coyote on October 15, 2015, 02:12:36 am
10 minutes after you send him an email explaining why you want to retired your two characters and won't show up to any sessions where a newish and less frequent player shows up, he calls up you wife telling her that if you are going to act that way you won't be welcome in his house ever again because you make him feel unsafe.
Title: Re: How to tell your GM is Defective
Post by: Meunster on October 17, 2015, 01:30:54 am
When he won't paint an accurate picture of how you seduced a dragon with a nat 20.

"Minor sexual fun"
Title: Re: How to tell your GM is Defective
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 17, 2015, 03:53:26 am
When he won't paint an accurate picture of how you seduced a dragon with a nat 20.

"Minor sexual fun"

Anyone who wants to roleplay sex in a hack & slash game.
Title: Re: How to tell your GM is Defective
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on October 17, 2015, 04:53:15 am
When he won't paint an accurate picture of how you seduced a dragon with a nat 20.

"Minor sexual fun"

Anyone who wants to roleplay sex in a hack & slash game.
:lulz:


 http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aHAPcTx_FNc (http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aHAPcTx_FNc)


On an unrelated note, this could actually have happened in my hometown and is awesome.

 http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQXVWD7W3Uw (http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQXVWD7W3Uw)
Title: Re: How to tell your GM is Defective
Post by: Meunster on October 17, 2015, 05:47:36 am
Anyone up for a game of f.a.t.a.l on roll20?