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#1
Aneristic Illusions / Re: No, It's Not an Article On...
Last post by Brother Mythos - Yesterday at 04:45:32 AM"Spinal Tap Is Latest Group To Forbid Trump From Using Its Music"
"Harry Shearer, who plays bassist Derek Smalls in the fictional heavy metal band, posted a demand that the former president not play its song "Sex Farm.""
Here's the link: Spinal Tap Forbids Play on TSF's Bandwagon
I love it!
"Harry Shearer, who plays bassist Derek Smalls in the fictional heavy metal band, posted a demand that the former president not play its song "Sex Farm.""
Here's the link: Spinal Tap Forbids Play on TSF's Bandwagon
I love it!
#2
Discordian Recipes / Summer Twilight cocktail (name...
Last post by chaotic neutral observer - September 06, 2024, 05:31:44 AMAn adaptation of "Between the Sheets".
1 oz. Cointreau
1 oz. brandy (St. Remy VSOP)
1/2 oz. dark rum (Gosling's Black Seal)
1/2 oz. Dry Curaçao
1/4 oz. fresh lemon juice
Stir with ice cubes and strain.
1 oz. Cointreau
1 oz. brandy (St. Remy VSOP)
1/2 oz. dark rum (Gosling's Black Seal)
1/2 oz. Dry Curaçao
1/4 oz. fresh lemon juice
Stir with ice cubes and strain.
#3
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / Re: Tales from the Cutting Edg...
Last post by Doktor Howl - September 06, 2024, 01:48:52 AMQuote from: Faust on September 04, 2024, 11:08:20 PMQuote from: Doktor Howl on September 04, 2024, 06:03:02 PM3. Rotate augur back into position, drill through manikin, and continue to the next void.I nearly blacked out laughing at this, this story has a silver lining though, for me the scariest thing about the thought of being trapped in a cave or buried alive was slow dehydration or suffocating. Now it's the fresh he'll of the dark hentai monster seeking out out, that can rape, kill and finally/optionally rape you again.
Relax. Help is on the way.
#4
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / Re: Tales from the Cutting Edg...
Last post by Faust - September 04, 2024, 11:08:20 PMQuote from: Doktor Howl on September 04, 2024, 06:03:02 PM3. Rotate augur back into position, drill through manikin, and continue to the next void.I nearly blacked out laughing at this, this story has a silver lining though, for me the scariest thing about the thought of being trapped in a cave or buried alive was slow dehydration or suffocating. Now it's the fresh he'll of the dark hentai monster seeking out out, that can rape, kill and finally/optionally rape you again.
#5
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / Re: Tales from the Cutting Edg...
Last post by Doktor Howl - September 04, 2024, 08:52:35 PMQuote from: chaotic neutral observer on September 04, 2024, 08:25:50 PMWoo! I love these threads.Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 04, 2024, 06:03:02 PMIn my guise as "unknown new guy" I suggested doing an autopsy on the Hentai Death Machine. I was shouted down, and over the next two days, they slew two more manikins.
Their debug culture definitely needs improvement. "Take it apart and see if anything looks wrong" should have been their first reaction. Well, maybe second, after "check the cables".
The first response was to screech that each of them were surrounded by incompetents.
And what do you know? They were all right.
#6
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / Re: Tales from the Cutting Edg...
Last post by chaotic neutral observer - September 04, 2024, 08:25:50 PMWoo! I love these threads.
Their debug culture definitely needs improvement. "Take it apart and see if anything looks wrong" should have been their first reaction. Well, maybe second, after "check the cables".
Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 04, 2024, 06:03:02 PMIn my guise as "unknown new guy" I suggested doing an autopsy on the Hentai Death Machine. I was shouted down, and over the next two days, they slew two more manikins.
Their debug culture definitely needs improvement. "Take it apart and see if anything looks wrong" should have been their first reaction. Well, maybe second, after "check the cables".
#7
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / Tales from the Cutting Edge
Last post by Doktor Howl - September 04, 2024, 06:03:02 PMOkay, this is basically the continuation of the Billy Saga, but without Billy. More dispatches from the front lines of hostile technology
So I quit. I walked away from the MIC. No more killer drones for me. I am a changed man; I am here to help.
The new job is with a small company that thinks they are Boston Dynamics, and the project I was dropped into is for a rescue robot for people buried under collapsed buildings, parking garages, landslides,etc.
It looks like a large wheeled box with a giant Hentai tentacle thing coming out of it. On the end of the tentacle, there is a rotary device that allows deployment of five items.
1. A drilling auger.
2. A chemical sniffer (to see if a body is alive or has begun decomposition.
3. A ground penetrating radar module.
4. An air line for flooding a void with fresh air.
5. A microphone/speaker attachment for communication with trapped individuals.
The process goes like this:
1. External GPF finds likely targets (voids).
2. The Hentai thingie snakes its way through the rubble, using the auger when necessary.
3. When it reaches the void, it rotates the sniffer to see if the target is alive or dead.
4. Notify the operator of said status.
5. If the target is dead, flag it in memory and go to the next void.
6. If the target is alive, rotate the air line and the communications array in and provide air and coms to the trapped individual, while the crew above decides on the best method to free the trapped person.
I arrived before the first simulated test, which involved a large tank of rubble with a manikin inside dosed with the correct signatures for a live body. Other voids contained air or water or methane. The test performed as follows.
1. Tentacle arrives at void with manikin.
2. Tentacle notifies the surface crew of the live victim.
3. Rotates sensor head to air line and coms.
4. Wait.
Only step three didn't happen. Instead replace step 3 with:
3. Rotate augur back into position, drill through manikin, and continue to the next void.
Needless to say, a lot of the people who thought I was a peer were not very happy about this. I laughed, and they said many rude things to me, not yet knowing I am the director of their entire department. I had asked that this not be announced before I got a feel for things.
In my guise as "unknown new guy" I suggested doing an autopsy on the Hentai Death Machine. I was shouted down, and over the next two days, they slew two more manikins.
So I called them via Teams to attend a meeting in the conference room. Pizza would be available. Their self-esteem, sadly, not so much.
As they showed up, they asked me where the new director was. Bear in mind that these people had spent the last 30 or so working hours hurling all manner of abuse at me. I don't care, of course, but they don't know that. I just smile, and watch their faces sink.
"Greetings. I am Doktor Howl, and I have come to you from the world of weaponized robotics. Having arrived, I don't see any functional difference, other than your targets can't dodge."
*angry faces*
"However, I have looked over the project plans, and I believe I have found the problem."
*Immediate chaos and finger pointing*
"Please close your mouths. This isn't a conversation. You are attempting to fix blame on each other, like a bunch of senior Russian officials, and this is none of your fault."
*suspicious looks*
"You spec'd the junction boxes as 'waterproof' and our purchasing agent saw that 'weatherproof' was half the cost of waterproof, and did not know the difference. What's more, he didn't know there was a difference to be known. He decided that he was an engineer or a technician thing whereas in the sidereal universe, he is a purchasing thing. He is not hostile, but his KPIs are."
One engineer: "So we've been flooding the controls and causing either a short or an open."
"Precisely. You will prove my hypothesis by removing the water from the tank and trying again."
Next day, tank dry, test succeeds. Back into the meeting room.
"I have ordered, though the purchaser, the correct NEMA rating for waterproof enclosures."
"So they're on order?"
"Not yet. The purchaser felt the need to argue his point; to double down on being wrong. This is a form of arrogance, and arrogance is a form of stupidity. It also lowers your price tag. As such, Purchaser thing has a new title and slightly different pay. As our new Incompetence Coordinator, Phil has elected to sulk. So I will order the boxes tonight. And tomorrow is a new day."
"You changed his title to "incompetence coordinator?"
"Yes. It seemed appropriate."
"It seems unhinged. What did HR say to all this?"
"HR was not happy about it but complied. Those of you smarter than lichen will understand the implications of that compliance."
"Um. We're fucked?"
"Of course not. We're going to do great things."
So I quit. I walked away from the MIC. No more killer drones for me. I am a changed man; I am here to help.
The new job is with a small company that thinks they are Boston Dynamics, and the project I was dropped into is for a rescue robot for people buried under collapsed buildings, parking garages, landslides,etc.
It looks like a large wheeled box with a giant Hentai tentacle thing coming out of it. On the end of the tentacle, there is a rotary device that allows deployment of five items.
1. A drilling auger.
2. A chemical sniffer (to see if a body is alive or has begun decomposition.
3. A ground penetrating radar module.
4. An air line for flooding a void with fresh air.
5. A microphone/speaker attachment for communication with trapped individuals.
The process goes like this:
1. External GPF finds likely targets (voids).
2. The Hentai thingie snakes its way through the rubble, using the auger when necessary.
3. When it reaches the void, it rotates the sniffer to see if the target is alive or dead.
4. Notify the operator of said status.
5. If the target is dead, flag it in memory and go to the next void.
6. If the target is alive, rotate the air line and the communications array in and provide air and coms to the trapped individual, while the crew above decides on the best method to free the trapped person.
I arrived before the first simulated test, which involved a large tank of rubble with a manikin inside dosed with the correct signatures for a live body. Other voids contained air or water or methane. The test performed as follows.
1. Tentacle arrives at void with manikin.
2. Tentacle notifies the surface crew of the live victim.
3. Rotates sensor head to air line and coms.
4. Wait.
Only step three didn't happen. Instead replace step 3 with:
3. Rotate augur back into position, drill through manikin, and continue to the next void.
Needless to say, a lot of the people who thought I was a peer were not very happy about this. I laughed, and they said many rude things to me, not yet knowing I am the director of their entire department. I had asked that this not be announced before I got a feel for things.
In my guise as "unknown new guy" I suggested doing an autopsy on the Hentai Death Machine. I was shouted down, and over the next two days, they slew two more manikins.
So I called them via Teams to attend a meeting in the conference room. Pizza would be available. Their self-esteem, sadly, not so much.
As they showed up, they asked me where the new director was. Bear in mind that these people had spent the last 30 or so working hours hurling all manner of abuse at me. I don't care, of course, but they don't know that. I just smile, and watch their faces sink.
"Greetings. I am Doktor Howl, and I have come to you from the world of weaponized robotics. Having arrived, I don't see any functional difference, other than your targets can't dodge."
*angry faces*
"However, I have looked over the project plans, and I believe I have found the problem."
*Immediate chaos and finger pointing*
"Please close your mouths. This isn't a conversation. You are attempting to fix blame on each other, like a bunch of senior Russian officials, and this is none of your fault."
*suspicious looks*
"You spec'd the junction boxes as 'waterproof' and our purchasing agent saw that 'weatherproof' was half the cost of waterproof, and did not know the difference. What's more, he didn't know there was a difference to be known. He decided that he was an engineer or a technician thing whereas in the sidereal universe, he is a purchasing thing. He is not hostile, but his KPIs are."
One engineer: "So we've been flooding the controls and causing either a short or an open."
"Precisely. You will prove my hypothesis by removing the water from the tank and trying again."
Next day, tank dry, test succeeds. Back into the meeting room.
"I have ordered, though the purchaser, the correct NEMA rating for waterproof enclosures."
"So they're on order?"
"Not yet. The purchaser felt the need to argue his point; to double down on being wrong. This is a form of arrogance, and arrogance is a form of stupidity. It also lowers your price tag. As such, Purchaser thing has a new title and slightly different pay. As our new Incompetence Coordinator, Phil has elected to sulk. So I will order the boxes tonight. And tomorrow is a new day."
"You changed his title to "incompetence coordinator?"
"Yes. It seemed appropriate."
"It seems unhinged. What did HR say to all this?"
"HR was not happy about it but complied. Those of you smarter than lichen will understand the implications of that compliance."
"Um. We're fucked?"
"Of course not. We're going to do great things."
#8
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / Re: On This Day in History
Last post by Brother Mythos - August 28, 2024, 05:33:25 PMAugust 28, 2014 - President Barack Obama Wore a Tan Suit
And, he blatantly did so in public, thus drawing the ire of Republican commentators and politicians as being shocking, inappropriate, and unpresidential.
And, he blatantly did so in public, thus drawing the ire of Republican commentators and politicians as being shocking, inappropriate, and unpresidential.
#9
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup ...
Last post by chaotic neutral observer - August 25, 2024, 03:05:25 AMThis wildfire season, I got myself an outdoor air quality sensor. For smoke wafting from 100s of km away, the most interesting metric is PM2.5 (particulate matter under 2.5 micrometers in diameter).
As you'd expect, when the air is blue, and everyone's coughing and their eyes are burning, the reported PM2.5 is pretty high (100+ µg/m3). And when the PM2.5 is down to 3 or 4 µg/m3, the air is very clear.
But then one's expectations fall apart. Humidity doesn't actually improve the air quality--it just ameliorates the worst of the symptoms. Rain generally doesn't settle the particulate matter out of the air. And, horrifyingly, there's a wide range of unhealthy values that are not detectable to humans.
The WHO's guidelines are that the concentration should not exceed 5 on a yearly average, and shouldn't exceed a daily average of 15 for more than a few days a year.
Outside, right now, the air seems fresh and clear....and the sensor is reporting 29 µg/m3. The air I breathe is shortening my life, and I can't do a damn thing about it.
As you'd expect, when the air is blue, and everyone's coughing and their eyes are burning, the reported PM2.5 is pretty high (100+ µg/m3). And when the PM2.5 is down to 3 or 4 µg/m3, the air is very clear.
But then one's expectations fall apart. Humidity doesn't actually improve the air quality--it just ameliorates the worst of the symptoms. Rain generally doesn't settle the particulate matter out of the air. And, horrifyingly, there's a wide range of unhealthy values that are not detectable to humans.
The WHO's guidelines are that the concentration should not exceed 5 on a yearly average, and shouldn't exceed a daily average of 15 for more than a few days a year.
Outside, right now, the air seems fresh and clear....and the sensor is reporting 29 µg/m3. The air I breathe is shortening my life, and I can't do a damn thing about it.
#10
Aneristic Illusions / Re: The Republicult™ On Parade
Last post by Brother Mythos - August 24, 2024, 09:30:36 PMI can't wait to see the Republicult's™ donors lining up for photo ops at this upcoming event:
"Trump's Outrageous January 6 Gala Is a Giant Flashing Warning Sign"
"Donald Trump is hosting a fundraiser for the insurrectionists who tried to kill democracy on January 6."
As per this article:
"Donald Trump has taken January 6 denialism to a new level: He's going to be hosting an awards ceremony dedicated to the Capitol riot.
On September 5, a "J6 Awards Gala" will be held at Trump's golf club in Bedminister, New Jersey. The event will include a raffle to win a plaque recognizing the "Justice For All" song performed by Trump and the "J6 Prison Choir," which briefly reached the Billboard Music Chart. The choir is made up of defendants serving prison sentences for their actions in the Capitol in 2021."
Here's the link to this article: TSF J6 Awards Gala
I just don't see this event as being something a 'stable genius' would arrange. I wonder if our very own Antifa agent provocateurs have gone undercover, and have successfully infiltrated the Republicult™.
"Trump's Outrageous January 6 Gala Is a Giant Flashing Warning Sign"
"Donald Trump is hosting a fundraiser for the insurrectionists who tried to kill democracy on January 6."
As per this article:
"Donald Trump has taken January 6 denialism to a new level: He's going to be hosting an awards ceremony dedicated to the Capitol riot.
On September 5, a "J6 Awards Gala" will be held at Trump's golf club in Bedminister, New Jersey. The event will include a raffle to win a plaque recognizing the "Justice For All" song performed by Trump and the "J6 Prison Choir," which briefly reached the Billboard Music Chart. The choir is made up of defendants serving prison sentences for their actions in the Capitol in 2021."
Here's the link to this article: TSF J6 Awards Gala
I just don't see this event as being something a 'stable genius' would arrange. I wonder if our very own Antifa agent provocateurs have gone undercover, and have successfully infiltrated the Republicult™.