Messages

Hello, Doktor. Nurse Mayhem reporting. Have you taken your pills today?

Why, yes I have. 

Don't scare me like that, fucker.   I thought that your body had left the physical realm for a split second. I'm glad it's more of a metaphorical death though. May you raise like a phoenix from the ashes.

My apologies.  I could probably have worded that better, though I must confess I had never imagined that anyone would have thought that I was actually 8 years old.

I, for one, welcome our new mad science advisor.

and

This is unexpected. But, fair enough, glad to have another doctor around here. I'll miss the Good Reverend, but no one lives forever.

Welcome, and don't feed the mutant horrors.

Thank you very much, to both of you.  My nurse should be along presently.

Well, umn, let me be the first to say, uh, "Welcome!", I suppose.

Technically, you would be the second, but thank you just the same.  And hello.

Is this legitimate?

It couldn't be any more legit if I was MC Hammer, young Enki.

Let me be the first to say,

see you around, Sir.

Why thank you, and I do hope to see you around, sir.

The Dutch are so polite.

So... like this?



Or a kinder, gentler, eviler outlook?

--

Goodbye TGRR, we hardly knew ye..

Yes, like that.  Without the rage.  There's no need to get excited.

Good morning, my little exploding anal beads of corruption.  It seems The Good Reverend Roger has "lost his shit" in a big way, and died of his own stupidity in Oro Valley Hospital, some time over the last day and a half.  But fear not, for I have been reborn, like unto a buzzard rising from its own poop.

First order of business:  As I am now out of the Holy Man^TM business, I bequeath my Rain God title and all other holy offices, vestments, and/or Horrorsex equipment unto Payne, for the conversion of the heathens in Scotland.  America has no use for Holy Men^TM.  Trust me on this...We Doktors know a hopeless case when we see one.  As such, I am retiring the TGRR moniker for good.  I needed to change my outlook anyway, as the one I had was no longer big enough.

Second order of business:  I'd like to offer a heartfelt and public apology to Nigel, concerning the accusations of "betrayal" I had made.  This was nothing more than an exhaustion-driven paranoia that caused me to read some drivel in a PM from Yatto, and interpret it as details of a plot to make me miserable.  This was obviously not the case, and I am very sorry.  Nigel didn't deserve that.

Third order of business:  The bickering.  Okay, everyone's pissed and howling.  I kind of like that.  But consider that you are howling at the wrong people.  Your aim is sloppy, and there's no excuse for that.  After all, it's not like any of you get along with normal people...If you did, you wouldn't be a Discordian.  So why shit in your own nest?  Because you're bored?  Because content stagnated?  Because you need the attention?  Because it's February, and you don't know what else to do?  That's monkey behavior.  You are not a robot, so stop operating off of programming.  Consider:  You have a limited time on this planet, and you will only find so many people that you can get along with...and it's always later than you think.  Time is fucking short.  It took dying for me to figure that out, but there's no need for you to re-invent the wheel.

So, that's that.  But where do things go from here?  

Well, I'd like to learn how to use Radio Free Discordia, because I have some things to say, and I am no longer satisfied with the written word as a medium.  Nurse Mayhem and I will be putting up some new artwork - including spiffy new avatars to reflect our Mad Scientist approach to things, and possibly - if you ask Nursey very nicely - making avatars for people who agree with the things we're about to yell.  Oh, yes...and finding a practical way to destroy the city of Tucson, Arizona, because that's the sort of thing cartoon villians do.  

Who's afraid of Doktor Howl?  Fucking nobody.