Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Two vast and trunkless legs of stone => Topic started by: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 08:42:32 PM

Title: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 08:42:32 PM
James Joyce
Emily Bronte
Thomas Hardy
Lord Byron
Emily Dickenson
William Butler Yeats


All of the above wrote pure shit, and should have been infected with smallpox and dropped down a convenient sewer.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Jenne on August 25, 2010, 08:45:37 PM
Aw, I like Emily Dickenson.  :(  And Bronte.  :(
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 08:47:16 PM
Quote from: Jenne on August 25, 2010, 08:45:37 PM
Aw, I like Emily Dickenson.  :(  And Bronte.  :(

Me too.  Because one knows that "moon" rhymes with "orange", and the other wrote incredibly depressing and vapid novels that made me want to shoot myself in the face with a bazooka.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 08:48:52 PM
Little known fact:  The Martian invaders weren't killed off by bacteria, but by Emily Dickenson's poetry.  She was, of course, dead by then, but that doesn't seem to have slowed her down.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on August 25, 2010, 08:49:26 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 08:47:16 PM
Quote from: Jenne on August 25, 2010, 08:45:37 PM
Aw, I like Emily Dickenson.  :(  And Bronte.  :(

Me too.  Because one knows that "moon" rhymes with "orange", and the other wrote incredibly depressing and vapid novels that made me want to shoot myself in the face with a bazooka.


Yeah. Bronte made me want to stab myself in the temple. Instead I opted to wing it on the test.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Jasper on August 25, 2010, 08:50:02 PM
I'm actually inclined to agree with a lot of those.  I suppose some of them hold some allure for certain tastes, but never should they have been "classical" writers with cultural sway.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: AFK on August 25, 2010, 08:52:28 PM
I don't think I ever had to read any Bronte in school.  But I was subjected to Joyce and plenty of Dickenson.  Though, to be perfectly honest, I think the only literature I enjoyed in school was Poe. 
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 08:53:37 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on August 25, 2010, 08:52:28 PM
I don't think I ever had to read any Bronte in school.  But I was subjected to Joyce and plenty of Dickenson.  Though, to be perfectly honest, I think the only literature I enjoyed in school was Poe. 

Poe was okay as a novelist.

But with only one exception (The Raven), he should have had a toe pulled off for every poem he wrote.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on August 25, 2010, 08:54:58 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on August 25, 2010, 08:52:28 PM
I don't think I ever had to read any Bronte in school.  But I was subjected to Joyce and plenty of Dickenson.  Though, to be perfectly honest, I think the only literature I enjoyed in school was Poe. 

For me they assigned the Bronte sisters as much as Shakespeare.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Cramulus on August 25, 2010, 08:55:07 PM
Byron? really? I could go either way on his writing, but by all accounts, he was a hell of a character. He was the first modern style celebrity. Most fictional anti-heroes (like batman or the vampire lestat) are based off of him.


I am 100% with you on Dickinson. Haven't read a sufficient amount of the others.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Jenne on August 25, 2010, 08:55:34 PM
*Jenne slinks off, dejected, as her girlhood literary heroes are obliterated into dust*

Actually, I read more Agatha Christie, Conan Doyle and Dorothy L Sayers than anything until h.s.  And even through h.s.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 09:00:05 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on August 25, 2010, 08:55:07 PM
Byron? really? I could go either way on his writing, but by all accounts, he was a hell of a character. He was the first modern style celebrity. Most fictional anti-heroes (like batman or the vampire lestat) are based off of him.


I am 100% with you on Dickinson. Haven't read a sufficient amount of the others.

So he was like Paris Hilton with less opportunities to bathe.

And if he inspired Lestat, he should be turfed up and sprayed onto a landfill.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Jenne on August 25, 2010, 09:02:36 PM
Well, what's cool about Byron is that he got Shelley to write that fantastic piece of simple yet poignant fiction based on a conversation about Darwin, Frankenstein.

He did write some wankage, I agree, but the LIFE, man, the LIFE.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: NWC on August 25, 2010, 09:03:38 PM
Agreed with everything except Joyce. I'm often surprised he's considered a classic author simply because I enjoy reading him so much, and I usually hate reading the "classics". His style indulges a certain passion of mine that I can't really explain, and his way of writing things that seem a little "off" while also being so very "right on" with a certain conception I have of what he's describing, which affirms the conception of mine that I always felt was "off", compared to others'.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 09:04:17 PM
Quote from: NWC on August 25, 2010, 09:03:38 PM
Agreed with everything except Joyce. I'm often surprised he's considered a classic author simply because I enjoy reading him so much,

Do you also hold your cigarettes backwards?
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on August 25, 2010, 09:05:32 PM
I find Byron to be passible... Joyce is interesting from a 'what the hell is this drunk irishman trying to say' sort of perspective. When I read him I wasn't doing much else in my life so the word games were fun... but I never understood why so many people thought his writing was amazing (I also am baffled by RAW's obsession with Joyce).

I really liked Dickenson, but the rest were meh... not horrible, but definitely not writers on the level of Poe, Twain, Dumas, etc.

Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: NWC on August 25, 2010, 09:05:42 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 09:04:17 PM
Quote from: NWC on August 25, 2010, 09:03:38 PM
Agreed with everything except Joyce. I'm often surprised he's considered a classic author simply because I enjoy reading him so much,

Do you also hold your cigarettes backwards?

I quit smoking a long time ago.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 09:14:16 PM
Quote from: NWC on August 25, 2010, 09:05:42 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 09:04:17 PM
Quote from: NWC on August 25, 2010, 09:03:38 PM
Agreed with everything except Joyce. I'm often surprised he's considered a classic author simply because I enjoy reading him so much,

Do you also hold your cigarettes backwards?

I quit smoking a long time ago.

Beret?
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Kai on August 25, 2010, 09:15:31 PM
I like Dickenson, but only for one poem. The rest I haven't read enough to have an opinion about them.

I wonder, if Starbucks Libertarians read Homer and the Icelandic sagas, would they be less of pretentious pricks?
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Cramulus on August 25, 2010, 09:17:14 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on August 25, 2010, 08:55:07 PM
So he was like Paris Hilton with less opportunities to bathe.

Kinda.

He was the first person to have his portrait drawn "as a man of action", instead of holding a quill or book or something lame and typical of the era.

He certainly knew how to party -- Lady Caroline Lamb described him as "mad, bad and dangerous to know".

The "Byronic Hero" refers to somebody who pretty much ignores society's rules and the typical things associated with heroism. Despite being "good guys", they're actually quite flawed. Without Byron, we probably wouldn't have Gollum, Holden Caufield, Batman (the Dark Knight version, not the Adam West version) Tyler Durden, Han Solo, Jack Sparrow, or Spider Jerusalem.

I admit I'm a bit biased - I play a LARP character based loosely on a reformed Lord Byron.   :p

(http://www.harkavagrant.com/history/shellyfinal.png)
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Jasper on August 25, 2010, 09:20:56 PM
Okay, I never looked at it that way.  That's actually pretty awesome.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on August 25, 2010, 09:21:03 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 08:42:32 PM
James Joyce
Emily Bronte
Thomas Hardy
Lord Byron
Emily Dickenson
William Butler Yeats


All of the above wrote pure shit, and should have been infected with smallpox and dropped down a convenient sewer.

I have to agree, though I will say that some of Yeats work as far as history goes, was not gaggingly terrible.

I would add

Charlotte Bronte
Anne Bronte
John Bunyan
Miguel de Cervantes - yeah I said it.  I hated Don Quixote, longest, most boring book I ever read! UGH!
John Milton
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 09:22:05 PM
Quote from: Khara on August 25, 2010, 09:21:03 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 08:42:32 PM
James Joyce
Emily Bronte
Thomas Hardy
Lord Byron
Emily Dickenson
William Butler Yeats


All of the above wrote pure shit, and should have been infected with smallpox and dropped down a convenient sewer.

I have to agree, though I will say that some of Yeats work as far as history goes, was not gaggingly terrible.

I would add

Charlotte Bronte
Anne Bronte
John Bunyan
Miguel de Cervantes - yeah I said it.  I hated Don Quixote, longest, most boring book I ever read! UGH!
John Milton

Yes.  Also Goethe.  Marlow or GTFO.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Kai on August 25, 2010, 09:23:10 PM
Paradise Lost, seriously?
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Jenne on August 25, 2010, 09:24:06 PM
LOVE Goethe!

And if you thought Don Quixote was bad, you should read motherfucking 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea!  OMG WORST BOOK EVER
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on August 25, 2010, 09:25:27 PM
Quote from: Kai on August 25, 2010, 09:23:10 PM
Paradise Lost, seriously?

Yeah I gotta agree with that too. Paradise Lost had some promise but got kinda boring.

Plus the idea of Lucifer inventing cannons... it's just... no.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 09:26:24 PM
Quote from: Kai on August 25, 2010, 09:23:10 PM
Paradise Lost, seriously?

CRAP
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Kai on August 25, 2010, 09:27:16 PM
Well, at least no one on my shelf has been mentioned yet.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 09:28:16 PM
Quote from: Jenne on August 25, 2010, 09:24:06 PM
LOVE Goethe!

And if you thought Don Quixote was bad, you should read motherfucking 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea!  OMG WORST BOOK EVER

Don't get me started on Jules Verne. 
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on August 25, 2010, 09:30:16 PM
Also, that damned idiot, James Cooper that wrote the Deerstalker/Pathfinder/Last of the Mohicans bullshit.... I wanted to stab my eyes out. I was partially rewarded years later when I read Mark Twain's essay on the author and books.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Jenne on August 25, 2010, 09:30:54 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 09:28:16 PM
Quote from: Jenne on August 25, 2010, 09:24:06 PM
LOVE Goethe!

And if you thought Don Quixote was bad, you should read motherfucking 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea!  OMG WORST BOOK EVER

Don't get me started on Jules Verne. 

I just did!  And really, he belongs on your OP list, because I really like a few of those others.  At least I did in h.s.  Now, admittedly, I'd probably find them vapid.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Don Coyote on August 25, 2010, 09:31:49 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 09:28:16 PM
Quote from: Jenne on August 25, 2010, 09:24:06 PM
LOVE Goethe!

And if you thought Don Quixote was bad, you should read motherfucking 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea!  OMG WORST BOOK EVER

Don't get me started on Jules Verne. 

I like Jules Verne :argh!:

Now I am going to add all the other authors you don't like to my read list.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on August 25, 2010, 09:31:59 PM
I think Jules Verne would have been OK if he had a good editor.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 09:32:19 PM
Quote from: Jenne on August 25, 2010, 09:30:54 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 09:28:16 PM
Quote from: Jenne on August 25, 2010, 09:24:06 PM
LOVE Goethe!

And if you thought Don Quixote was bad, you should read motherfucking 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea!  OMG WORST BOOK EVER

Don't get me started on Jules Verne. 

I just did!  And really, he belongs on your OP list, because I really like a few of those others.  At least I did in h.s.  Now, admittedly, I'd probably find them vapid.

Jules Verne was important to the science fiction field in its early days.  But it reads like 3 day old shit.

Some people think he invented science fiction, but that credit goes to Mary Shelley.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 09:32:42 PM
Quote from: Lunar Wolf of the Cow Moon 13 on August 25, 2010, 09:31:49 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 09:28:16 PM
Quote from: Jenne on August 25, 2010, 09:24:06 PM
LOVE Goethe!

And if you thought Don Quixote was bad, you should read motherfucking 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea!  OMG WORST BOOK EVER

Don't get me started on Jules Verne. 

I like Jules Verne :argh!:

Now I am going to add all the other authors you don't like to my read list.

Mission accomplished.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Don Coyote on August 25, 2010, 09:33:33 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 09:32:42 PM
Quote from: Lunar Wolf of the Cow Moon 13 on August 25, 2010, 09:31:49 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 09:28:16 PM
Quote from: Jenne on August 25, 2010, 09:24:06 PM
LOVE Goethe!

And if you thought Don Quixote was bad, you should read motherfucking 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea!  OMG WORST BOOK EVER

Don't get me started on Jules Verne. 

I like Jules Verne :argh!:

Now I am going to add all the other authors you don't like to my read list.

Mission accomplished.

:| :|


:argh!:
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Jenne on August 25, 2010, 09:35:09 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 09:32:19 PM
Quote from: Jenne on August 25, 2010, 09:30:54 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 09:28:16 PM
Quote from: Jenne on August 25, 2010, 09:24:06 PM
LOVE Goethe!

And if you thought Don Quixote was bad, you should read motherfucking 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea!  OMG WORST BOOK EVER

Don't get me started on Jules Verne. 

I just did!  And really, he belongs on your OP list, because I really like a few of those others.  At least I did in h.s.  Now, admittedly, I'd probably find them vapid.

Jules Verne was important to the science fiction field in its early days.  But it reads like 3 day old shit.

Some people think he invented science fiction, but that credit goes to Mary Shelley.

I think I figured out a good test for good literature:

Find it on Librivox and have it read out loud to you.  If by chapter 3 you don't want to kill a motherfucker, you've chosen a true piece of lit.  If, however, you find yourself wanting to murder, strangle, maim or otherwise do violence to either the person reading the thing out loud OR its author,

then it's shit.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Kai on August 25, 2010, 09:42:50 PM
Quote from: Jenne on August 25, 2010, 09:35:09 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 09:32:19 PM
Quote from: Jenne on August 25, 2010, 09:30:54 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 09:28:16 PM
Quote from: Jenne on August 25, 2010, 09:24:06 PM
LOVE Goethe!

And if you thought Don Quixote was bad, you should read motherfucking 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea!  OMG WORST BOOK EVER

Don't get me started on Jules Verne. 

I just did!  And really, he belongs on your OP list, because I really like a few of those others.  At least I did in h.s.  Now, admittedly, I'd probably find them vapid.

Jules Verne was important to the science fiction field in its early days.  But it reads like 3 day old shit.

Some people think he invented science fiction, but that credit goes to Mary Shelley.

I think I figured out a good test for good literature:

Find it on Librivox and have it read out loud to you.  If by chapter 3 you don't want to kill a motherfucker, you've chosen a true piece of lit.  If, however, you find yourself wanting to murder, strangle, maim or otherwise do violence to either the person reading the thing out loud OR its author,

then it's shit.

I don't know. I found Iliad on there, and it was a translation I didn't particularly like by a reader I didn't particularly like listening to (had no ability for epic poetry) and I had to turn it off during chapter 2. It's not universal.

But then, I prefer reading it out loud to myself late at night and freaking my roommates out with my whispers of the bloody death scenes.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Juana on August 25, 2010, 09:47:18 PM
Let's add F. Scott Fitzgerald to this list. The Great Gatsby is a fucking awful novel.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on August 25, 2010, 09:56:14 PM
Quote from: Hover Cat on August 25, 2010, 09:47:18 PM
Let's add F. Scott Fitzgerald to this list. The Great Gatsby is a fucking awful novel.
:mittens:
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Eater of Clowns on August 25, 2010, 09:58:24 PM
I've read almost no "classic" literature.  I think this fall I'm going to tackle Moby Dick though, as my heritage demands it.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on August 25, 2010, 09:59:59 PM
Also, fuck Jack London.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on August 25, 2010, 10:01:26 PM
To be honest, I am not a huge Dickens fan either...

Nor was I overjoyed with Longfellow...



Damn how terrible of a person does that probably make me?  :lulz:
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Kai on August 25, 2010, 10:04:02 PM
All literature is shit except Ayn Rand.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on August 25, 2010, 10:04:20 PM
I will take this moment to throw out props to Robert Louis Stevenson and Johnathon Swift.

ETA: And Kipling.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 10:10:42 PM
Quote from: Hover Cat on August 25, 2010, 09:47:18 PM
Let's add F. Scott Fitzgerald to this list. The Great Gatsby is a fucking awful novel.

I liked it, because of the Horrible Doom factor, but I'd have ended it differently.

Daisy had syphilis, Tom died of genital warts, and Nick Carroway watched it all in mounting horror, then made off with the silverware and the maid.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 10:11:19 PM
Quote from: Ratatosk on August 25, 2010, 10:04:20 PM
I will take this moment to throw out props to Robert Louis Stevenson and Johnathon Swift.

ETA: And Kipling.

Yes, yes, and HELL YES.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on August 25, 2010, 10:12:43 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 10:11:19 PM
Quote from: Ratatosk on August 25, 2010, 10:04:20 PM
I will take this moment to throw out props to Robert Louis Stevenson and Johnathon Swift.

ETA: And Kipling.

Yes, yes, and HELL YES.

Tho' I've belted you and flayed you, By the livin' Gawd that made you, You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din!
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Thurnez Isa on August 25, 2010, 10:13:06 PM
Quote from: Khara on August 25, 2010, 09:21:03 PM

Miguel de Cervantes - yeah I said it.  I hated Don Quixote, longest, most boring book I ever read! UGH!


:cry:

Don Quixote is my favorite book
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Thurnez Isa on August 25, 2010, 10:14:52 PM
Quote from: Hover Cat on August 25, 2010, 09:47:18 PM
Let's add F. Scott Fitzgerald to this list. The Great Gatsby is a fucking awful novel.

another one of my favorite books
im going to stop reading this thread it's crap
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 10:15:51 PM
Quote from: Thurnez Isa on August 25, 2010, 10:13:06 PM
Quote from: Khara on August 25, 2010, 09:21:03 PM

Miguel de Cervantes - yeah I said it.  I hated Don Quixote, longest, most boring book I ever read! UGH!


:cry:

Don Quixote is my favorite book

Yes, but you're Canadian, and allowances have to be made.

Dok,
Has watched CBC.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on August 25, 2010, 10:27:01 PM
I have a sort of love-hate with everyone on the list so far. So I'm going to suggestion Alexander Dumas for The Count of Monte Cristo. We had to read that in high school. The books we got were yellowed, crackling hard covers fished out of a landfill somewhere - they smelled like shit and the type was so small you needed a magnifying glass to read the crumbling, urine-stained pages. It was hell and made the story hell.

I'd like to add Louisa May Alcott's stuff, too. My English teacher tried to tell us she was striking out and having a career in a day when women couldn't do that - but she had to write because her dad was a POS and it was that or starve.

. . . I think I'm more irritated by the lies my teachers told than the books themselves. Hmm.

Arthur Miller for The Crucible

and Nathaniel Hawthorne for The Scarlet Letter.

And Charlotte Perkins Gilman should BURN IN A FIRE OF FLAMES for The Yellow Wallpaper. So much hate. So much stab-it-with-a-pitchfork-dipped-in-pitch-and-lit hate.

I feel better now.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: The Wizard on August 25, 2010, 11:04:07 PM
Ayn Rand. The woman couldn't write, and her philosophy was just a reaction to her upbringing in the USSR.

Personally, I like Byron and Jules Verne. And the next person who goes after Jack London is going to be gunned down.

(http://passionforcinema.com/wp-content/uploads/clint-eastwood-dirty-harry.jpg)
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on August 25, 2010, 11:48:44 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 08:42:32 PM
James Joyce
Emily Bronte
Thomas Hardy
Lord Byron
Emily Dickenson
William Butler Yeats


All of the above wrote pure shit, and should have been infected with smallpox and dropped down a convenient sewer.

I've never read a single one of 'em.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Thurnez Isa on August 26, 2010, 12:12:58 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 10:15:51 PM
Quote from: Thurnez Isa on August 25, 2010, 10:13:06 PM
Quote from: Khara on August 25, 2010, 09:21:03 PM

Miguel de Cervantes - yeah I said it.  I hated Don Quixote, longest, most boring book I ever read! UGH!


:cry:

Don Quixote is my favorite book
Yes, but you're Canadian, and allowances have to be made.

Dok,
Has watched CBC.

I have an extensive first old book collection, including the first collection of Emily Dickinson's poetry published in Canada - which by the way I love.
Fuck this
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Jenne on August 26, 2010, 12:44:04 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 10:10:42 PM
Quote from: Hover Cat on August 25, 2010, 09:47:18 PM
Let's add F. Scott Fitzgerald to this list. The Great Gatsby is a fucking awful novel.

I liked it, because of the Horrible Doom factor, but I'd have ended it differently.

Daisy had syphilis, Tom died of genital warts, and Nick Carroway watched it all in mounting horror, then made off with the silverware and the maid.

No no no no no.  You CANNOT de-select authors based on how you'd write their awful stories.

/just being mean b/c I really do like Goethe
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Jenne on August 26, 2010, 12:44:44 AM
Quote from: Thurnez Isa on August 26, 2010, 12:12:58 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 10:15:51 PM
Quote from: Thurnez Isa on August 25, 2010, 10:13:06 PM
Quote from: Khara on August 25, 2010, 09:21:03 PM

Miguel de Cervantes - yeah I said it.  I hated Don Quixote, longest, most boring book I ever read! UGH!


:cry:

Don Quixote is my favorite book
Yes, but you're Canadian, and allowances have to be made.

Dok,
Has watched CBC.

I have an extensive first old book collection, including the first collection of Emily Dickinson's poetry published in Canada - which by the way I love.
Fuck this


Aw, buck up--I like Emily Dickinson too.  :D
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Jenne on August 26, 2010, 12:47:01 AM
Quote from: Kai on August 25, 2010, 09:42:50 PM
Quote from: Jenne on August 25, 2010, 09:35:09 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 09:32:19 PM
Quote from: Jenne on August 25, 2010, 09:30:54 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 09:28:16 PM
Quote from: Jenne on August 25, 2010, 09:24:06 PM
LOVE Goethe!

And if you thought Don Quixote was bad, you should read motherfucking 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea!  OMG WORST BOOK EVER

Don't get me started on Jules Verne. 

I just did!  And really, he belongs on your OP list, because I really like a few of those others.  At least I did in h.s.  Now, admittedly, I'd probably find them vapid.

Jules Verne was important to the science fiction field in its early days.  But it reads like 3 day old shit.

Some people think he invented science fiction, but that credit goes to Mary Shelley.

I think I figured out a good test for good literature:

Find it on Librivox and have it read out loud to you.  If by chapter 3 you don't want to kill a motherfucker, you've chosen a true piece of lit.  If, however, you find yourself wanting to murder, strangle, maim or otherwise do violence to either the person reading the thing out loud OR its author,

then it's shit.

I don't know. I found Iliad on there, and it was a translation I didn't particularly like by a reader I didn't particularly like listening to (had no ability for epic poetry) and I had to turn it off during chapter 2. It's not universal.

But then, I prefer reading it out loud to myself late at night and freaking my roommates out with my whispers of the bloody death scenes.

I know, my theory had holes.  :D  Trust Kai to point them out (you're too smart, Kai, shoo!).

But still, if you can sit through shittily read chapter after chapter and NOT want to commit some sort of felony against a person, with blood involved, then you probably have a quality piece of work on your hands.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Prince Glittersnatch III on August 26, 2010, 12:53:28 AM
Quote from: Dr. James Semaj on August 25, 2010, 11:04:07 PM
Ayn Rand. The woman couldn't write, and her philosophy was just a reaction to her upbringing in the USSR.


Not to mention nothing even remotely good has ever come about from her philosophy besides Bioshock.
I mean think of all the bullshit shes given us, Tea Baggers, Glenn Beck, Glenn Beck, Bioshock 2.
Machiavelli has done more good for the world than her, and he could actually write too.

Plus she was practically the patron saint of creepy cougars. 
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Jenne on August 26, 2010, 12:55:03 AM
What's wrong with creepy cougars?  *she says with an ear-to-ear grin*
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Prince Glittersnatch III on August 26, 2010, 12:58:00 AM
Quote from: Jenne on August 26, 2010, 12:55:03 AM
What's wrong with creepy cougars?  *she says with an ear-to-ear grin*

I have no problem with cougars, just the creepy ones.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Don Coyote on August 26, 2010, 12:58:48 AM
Quote from: Lord Derp Esquire on August 26, 2010, 12:58:00 AM
Quote from: Jenne on August 26, 2010, 12:55:03 AM
What's wrong with creepy cougars?  *she says with an ear-to-ear grin*

I have no problem with cougars, just the creepy ones.

But if they don't creep, their prey will see them.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Prince Glittersnatch III on August 26, 2010, 01:00:51 AM
Quote from: Secret Level on August 26, 2010, 12:58:48 AM
Quote from: Lord Derp Esquire on August 26, 2010, 12:58:00 AM
Quote from: Jenne on August 26, 2010, 12:55:03 AM
What's wrong with creepy cougars?  *she says with an ear-to-ear grin*

I have no problem with cougars, just the creepy ones.

But if they don't creep, their prey will see them.

Exactly, easier for me to spot them.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Don Coyote on August 26, 2010, 01:02:38 AM
Quote from: Lord Derp Esquire on August 26, 2010, 01:00:51 AM
Quote from: Secret Level on August 26, 2010, 12:58:48 AM
Quote from: Lord Derp Esquire on August 26, 2010, 12:58:00 AM
Quote from: Jenne on August 26, 2010, 12:55:03 AM
What's wrong with creepy cougars?  *she says with an ear-to-ear grin*

I have no problem with cougars, just the creepy ones.

But if they don't creep, their prey will see them.

Exactly, easier for me to spot them.


touché
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on August 26, 2010, 01:15:53 AM
So Derp, who is the hunter and who is the hunted in your scenario? Or is that a little up to the observer's interpretation?
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Thurnez Isa on August 26, 2010, 01:34:43 AM
Quote from: Jenne on August 26, 2010, 12:44:44 AM
Quote from: Thurnez Isa on August 26, 2010, 12:12:58 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 10:15:51 PM
Quote from: Thurnez Isa on August 25, 2010, 10:13:06 PM
Quote from: Khara on August 25, 2010, 09:21:03 PM

Miguel de Cervantes - yeah I said it.  I hated Don Quixote, longest, most boring book I ever read! UGH!


:cry:

Don Quixote is my favorite book
Yes, but you're Canadian, and allowances have to be made.

Dok,
Has watched CBC.

I have an extensive first old book collection, including the first collection of Emily Dickinson's poetry published in Canada - which by the way I love.
Fuck this


Aw, buck up--I like Emily Dickinson too.  :D

its not so much a matter of like/dislike
but more of one of understanding/not understanding
identifying/ not identifying

Instead apparently it's taking one of the few things humans do well, probably the only, telling stories and bitching.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Jenne on August 26, 2010, 01:34:47 AM
Creepy's in the eye of the beholder, I guess.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Jenne on August 26, 2010, 01:35:59 AM
Quote from: Thurnez Isa on August 26, 2010, 01:34:43 AM
Quote from: Jenne on August 26, 2010, 12:44:44 AM
Quote from: Thurnez Isa on August 26, 2010, 12:12:58 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 10:15:51 PM
Quote from: Thurnez Isa on August 25, 2010, 10:13:06 PM
Quote from: Khara on August 25, 2010, 09:21:03 PM

Miguel de Cervantes - yeah I said it.  I hated Don Quixote, longest, most boring book I ever read! UGH!


:cry:

Don Quixote is my favorite book
Yes, but you're Canadian, and allowances have to be made.

Dok,
Has watched CBC.

I have an extensive first old book collection, including the first collection of Emily Dickinson's poetry published in Canada - which by the way I love.
Fuck this


Aw, buck up--I like Emily Dickinson too.  :D

its not so much a matter of like/dislike
but more of one of understanding/not understanding
identifying/ not identifying

Instead apparently it's taking one of the few things humans do well, probably the only, telling stories and bitching.

Well, I guess what you're saying is taste is according to what you can identify with...
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Thurnez Isa on August 26, 2010, 01:37:14 AM
I also think a book is the only thing of beauty mankind has ever made
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Jenne on August 26, 2010, 01:39:16 AM
Quote from: Thurnez Isa on August 26, 2010, 01:37:14 AM
I also think a book is the only thing of beauty mankind has ever made

Naw.  Wait till you have kids.

Also, paintings and music are also pretty cool.

Again, I think books and literature and stories are all both self and shared expression.  Since you have to engage your reader/listener, you have to relate it to them so they're interested.  A tricky business.

It would be interesting to find out from the literary community what, indeed, constitutes a piece of LITERATURE as opposed to just fiction.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Thurnez Isa on August 26, 2010, 01:47:07 AM
Used to teach music to kids for years
kept making me bitter
:sad:
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: BabylonHoruv on August 26, 2010, 01:58:13 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 09:32:19 PM
Quote from: Jenne on August 25, 2010, 09:30:54 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 09:28:16 PM
Quote from: Jenne on August 25, 2010, 09:24:06 PM
LOVE Goethe!

And if you thought Don Quixote was bad, you should read motherfucking 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea!  OMG WORST BOOK EVER

Don't get me started on Jules Verne. 

I just did!  And really, he belongs on your OP list, because I really like a few of those others.  At least I did in h.s.  Now, admittedly, I'd probably find them vapid.

Jules Verne was important to the science fiction field in its early days.  But it reads like 3 day old shit.

Some people think he invented science fiction, but that credit goes to Mary Shelley.

I enjoy his stuff, but it kinda reminds me of L Frank Baum, good ideas that he doesn't really explore properly.

Shelley was also a much more engaging writer.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: BabylonHoruv on August 26, 2010, 01:59:28 AM
Quote from: Khara on August 25, 2010, 10:01:26 PM
To be honest, I am not a huge Dickens fan either...

Nor was I overjoyed with Longfellow...



Damn how terrible of a person does that probably make me?  :lulz:

Dickens suffered from the fact that he was paid by the word. 
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: BabylonHoruv on August 26, 2010, 02:01:35 AM
Quote from: Lord Derp Esquire on August 26, 2010, 12:53:28 AM
Quote from: Dr. James Semaj on August 25, 2010, 11:04:07 PM
Ayn Rand. The woman couldn't write, and her philosophy was just a reaction to her upbringing in the USSR.


Not to mention nothing even remotely good has ever come about from her philosophy besides Bioshock.
I mean think of all the bullshit shes given us, Tea Baggers, Glenn Beck, Glenn Beck, Bioshock 2.
Machiavelli has done more good for the world than her, and he could actually write too.

Plus she was practically the patron saint of creepy cougars. 

Machiavelli has done a lot of good.  If we are going to be ruled by evil they could at least do it right.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞ on August 26, 2010, 02:02:03 AM
Quote from: Nigel on August 25, 2010, 11:48:44 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 08:42:32 PM
James Joyce
Emily Bronte
Thomas Hardy
Lord Byron
Emily Dickenson
William Butler Yeats


All of the above wrote pure shit, and should have been infected with smallpox and dropped down a convenient sewer.

I've never read a single one of 'em.

8):hi5::)

Same here.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on August 26, 2010, 02:02:56 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on August 26, 2010, 02:01:35 AM
Quote from: Lord Derp Esquire on August 26, 2010, 12:53:28 AM
Quote from: Dr. James Semaj on August 25, 2010, 11:04:07 PM
Ayn Rand. The woman couldn't write, and her philosophy was just a reaction to her upbringing in the USSR.


Not to mention nothing even remotely good has ever come about from her philosophy besides Bioshock.
I mean think of all the bullshit shes given us, Tea Baggers, Glenn Beck, Glenn Beck, Bioshock 2.
Machiavelli has done more good for the world than her, and he could actually write too.

Plus she was practically the patron saint of creepy cougars. 

Machiavelli has done a lot of good.  If we are going to be ruled by evil they could at least do it right.

Never read him, but didn't he conclude that it was more strategic to be a benevolent ruler?
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: BabylonHoruv on August 26, 2010, 02:09:06 AM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on August 26, 2010, 02:02:56 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on August 26, 2010, 02:01:35 AM
Quote from: Lord Derp Esquire on August 26, 2010, 12:53:28 AM
Quote from: Dr. James Semaj on August 25, 2010, 11:04:07 PM
Ayn Rand. The woman couldn't write, and her philosophy was just a reaction to her upbringing in the USSR.


Not to mention nothing even remotely good has ever come about from her philosophy besides Bioshock.
I mean think of all the bullshit shes given us, Tea Baggers, Glenn Beck, Glenn Beck, Bioshock 2.
Machiavelli has done more good for the world than her, and he could actually write too.

Plus she was practically the patron saint of creepy cougars. 

Machiavelli has done a lot of good.  If we are going to be ruled by evil they could at least do it right.

Never read him, but didn't he conclude that it was more strategic to be a benevolent ruler?

In some cases.  You should read the prince, it's not very long, it's written in fairly simple language, and it helps with playing boardgames too, not just ruling countries.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on August 26, 2010, 02:10:21 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on August 26, 2010, 02:09:06 AM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on August 26, 2010, 02:02:56 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on August 26, 2010, 02:01:35 AM
Quote from: Lord Derp Esquire on August 26, 2010, 12:53:28 AM
Quote from: Dr. James Semaj on August 25, 2010, 11:04:07 PM
Ayn Rand. The woman couldn't write, and her philosophy was just a reaction to her upbringing in the USSR.


Not to mention nothing even remotely good has ever come about from her philosophy besides Bioshock.
I mean think of all the bullshit shes given us, Tea Baggers, Glenn Beck, Glenn Beck, Bioshock 2.
Machiavelli has done more good for the world than her, and he could actually write too.

Plus she was practically the patron saint of creepy cougars. 

Machiavelli has done a lot of good.  If we are going to be ruled by evil they could at least do it right.

Never read him, but didn't he conclude that it was more strategic to be a benevolent ruler?

In some cases.  You should read the prince, it's not very long, it's written in fairly simple language, and it helps with playing boardgames too, not just ruling countries.

Hmm... Will do then. After I move, naturally.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Phox on August 26, 2010, 02:17:37 AM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on August 26, 2010, 02:02:56 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on August 26, 2010, 02:01:35 AM
Quote from: Lord Derp Esquire on August 26, 2010, 12:53:28 AM
Quote from: Dr. James Semaj on August 25, 2010, 11:04:07 PM
Ayn Rand. The woman couldn't write, and her philosophy was just a reaction to her upbringing in the USSR.


Not to mention nothing even remotely good has ever come about from her philosophy besides Bioshock.
I mean think of all the bullshit shes given us, Tea Baggers, Glenn Beck, Glenn Beck, Bioshock 2.
Machiavelli has done more good for the world than her, and he could actually write too.

Plus she was practically the patron saint of creepy cougars. 

Machiavelli has done a lot of good.  If we are going to be ruled by evil they could at least do it right.

Never read him, but didn't he conclude that it was more strategic to be a benevolent ruler?

Only if it was less risky than being a total douche-fag. Since he was writing The Prince to a ruler who could be decently accurately compared to Al Capone in his heyday, it seems to me it was more like "You should maybe be a little nicer, but then, you're doing pretty good as it is, so keep doin' what you're doin'. i can haz jailbreak??" He did write it while in prison, ya know.

In all honesty though, he tended to be more in-between and less extreme than people give credit, but he did tend to favor the "bad guy" way of doing things in most issues. Example: "Is it better to be loved than feared? My reply is one ought to be both loved and feared; but since it is difficult to accomplish both at the same time, I maintain it is much safer to be feared than loved..."
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on August 26, 2010, 02:21:35 AM
Quote from: phoenixofdiscordia on August 26, 2010, 02:17:37 AM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on August 26, 2010, 02:02:56 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on August 26, 2010, 02:01:35 AM
Quote from: Lord Derp Esquire on August 26, 2010, 12:53:28 AM
Quote from: Dr. James Semaj on August 25, 2010, 11:04:07 PM
Ayn Rand. The woman couldn't write, and her philosophy was just a reaction to her upbringing in the USSR.


Not to mention nothing even remotely good has ever come about from her philosophy besides Bioshock.
I mean think of all the bullshit shes given us, Tea Baggers, Glenn Beck, Glenn Beck, Bioshock 2.
Machiavelli has done more good for the world than her, and he could actually write too.

Plus she was practically the patron saint of creepy cougars. 

Machiavelli has done a lot of good.  If we are going to be ruled by evil they could at least do it right.

Never read him, but didn't he conclude that it was more strategic to be a benevolent ruler?

Only if it was less risky than being a total douche-fag. Since he was writing The Prince to a ruler who could be decently accurately compared to Al Capone in his heyday, it seems to me it was more like "You should maybe be a little nicer, but then, you're doing pretty good as it is, so keep doin' what you're doin'. i can haz jailbreak??" He did write it while in prison, ya know.

In all honesty though, he tended to be more in-between and less extreme than people give credit, but he did tend to favor the "bad guy" way of doing things in most issues. Example: "Is it better to be loved than feared? My reply is one ought to be both loved and feared; but since it is difficult to accomplish both at the same time, I maintain it is much safer to be feared than loved..."

I guess that the advice is also tailored to a sort of long term vs. short term goal. Do you want all the power and to hell with your kids and country? Be a douche. Do you want to have your country have longstanding influence in the area? Be a solid dude.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Phox on August 26, 2010, 02:26:53 AM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on August 26, 2010, 02:21:35 AM
Quote from: phoenixofdiscordia on August 26, 2010, 02:17:37 AM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on August 26, 2010, 02:02:56 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on August 26, 2010, 02:01:35 AM
Quote from: Lord Derp Esquire on August 26, 2010, 12:53:28 AM
Quote from: Dr. James Semaj on August 25, 2010, 11:04:07 PM
Ayn Rand. The woman couldn't write, and her philosophy was just a reaction to her upbringing in the USSR.


Not to mention nothing even remotely good has ever come about from her philosophy besides Bioshock.
I mean think of all the bullshit shes given us, Tea Baggers, Glenn Beck, Glenn Beck, Bioshock 2.
Machiavelli has done more good for the world than her, and he could actually write too.

Plus she was practically the patron saint of creepy cougars. 

Machiavelli has done a lot of good.  If we are going to be ruled by evil they could at least do it right.

Never read him, but didn't he conclude that it was more strategic to be a benevolent ruler?

Only if it was less risky than being a total douche-fag. Since he was writing The Prince to a ruler who could be decently accurately compared to Al Capone in his heyday, it seems to me it was more like "You should maybe be a little nicer, but then, you're doing pretty good as it is, so keep doin' what you're doin'. i can haz jailbreak??" He did write it while in prison, ya know.

In all honesty though, he tended to be more in-between and less extreme than people give credit, but he did tend to favor the "bad guy" way of doing things in most issues. Example: "Is it better to be loved than feared? My reply is one ought to be both loved and feared; but since it is difficult to accomplish both at the same time, I maintain it is much safer to be feared than loved..."

I guess that the advice is also tailored to a sort of long term vs. short term goal. Do you want all the power and to hell with your kids and country? Be a douche. Do you want to have your country have longstanding influence in the area? Be a solid dude.

I can't find it off hand, but he mentions somewhere that whenever one acquires a free city (that is, one that isn't used to have a prince of Machiavelli's definition), he or she should burn it to the ground because once the people have tasted freedom they will be unlikely to bow to a prince. So... yeah.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Placid Dingo on August 26, 2010, 02:31:57 AM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on August 26, 2010, 02:21:35 AM
Quote from: phoenixofdiscordia on August 26, 2010, 02:17:37 AM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on August 26, 2010, 02:02:56 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on August 26, 2010, 02:01:35 AM
Quote from: Lord Derp Esquire on August 26, 2010, 12:53:28 AM
Quote from: Dr. James Semaj on August 25, 2010, 11:04:07 PM
Ayn Rand. The woman couldn't write, and her philosophy was just a reaction to her upbringing in the USSR.


Not to mention nothing even remotely good has ever come about from her philosophy besides Bioshock.
I mean think of all the bullshit shes given us, Tea Baggers, Glenn Beck, Glenn Beck, Bioshock 2.
Machiavelli has done more good for the world than her, and he could actually write too.

Plus she was practically the patron saint of creepy cougars. 

Machiavelli has done a lot of good.  If we are going to be ruled by evil they could at least do it right.

Never read him, but didn't he conclude that it was more strategic to be a benevolent ruler?

Only if it was less risky than being a total douche-fag. Since he was writing The Prince to a ruler who could be decently accurately compared to Al Capone in his heyday, it seems to me it was more like "You should maybe be a little nicer, but then, you're doing pretty good as it is, so keep doin' what you're doin'. i can haz jailbreak??" He did write it while in prison, ya know.

In all honesty though, he tended to be more in-between and less extreme than people give credit, but he did tend to favor the "bad guy" way of doing things in most issues. Example: "Is it better to be loved than feared? My reply is one ought to be both loved and feared; but since it is difficult to accomplish both at the same time, I maintain it is much safer to be feared than loved..."

I guess that the advice is also tailored to a sort of long term vs. short term goal. Do you want all the power and to hell with your kids and country? Be a douche. Do you want to have your country have longstanding influence in the area? Be a solid dude.

I read it as 'it is imperative that you be seen to be good and benevolent. You must keep this appearance up no matter what you do. If it's possible to actually BE good and benevolent as well, all the better.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: The Wizard on August 26, 2010, 02:40:55 AM
QuoteExample: "Is it better to be loved than feared? My reply is one ought to be both loved and feared; but since it is difficult to accomplish both at the same time, I maintain it is much safer to be feared than loved..."

I prefer the Vetinari approach. It's better to be permanent than either of the other two.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Epimetheus on August 26, 2010, 02:45:57 AM
Quote from: phoenixofdiscordia on August 26, 2010, 02:17:37 AM
He did write it while in prison, ya know.

Wasn't it exile?
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Phox on August 26, 2010, 02:58:14 AM
Quote from: Epimetheus on August 26, 2010, 02:45:57 AM
Quote from: phoenixofdiscordia on August 26, 2010, 02:17:37 AM
He did write it while in prison, ya know.

Wasn't it exile?

I don't think so. I could be wrong though. Either way, he was being punished for his role in the pre-Medici government and trying to get into the leader's good graces by half-ass agreeing with his policies. He did eventually get to return to Florence (or get out of prison, whichever).
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Juana on August 26, 2010, 03:28:51 AM
Quote from: phoenixofdiscordia on August 26, 2010, 02:58:14 AM
Quote from: Epimetheus on August 26, 2010, 02:45:57 AM
Quote from: phoenixofdiscordia on August 26, 2010, 02:17:37 AM
He did write it while in prison, ya know.

Wasn't it exile?

I don't think so. I could be wrong though. Either way, he was being punished for his role in the pre-Medici government and trying to get into the leader's good graces by half-ass agreeing with his policies. He did eventually get to return to Florence (or get out of prison, whichever).
Exile. And no, he died outside Florence iirc.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Phox on August 26, 2010, 03:32:56 AM
Quote from: Hover Cat on August 26, 2010, 03:28:51 AM
Quote from: phoenixofdiscordia on August 26, 2010, 02:58:14 AM
Quote from: Epimetheus on August 26, 2010, 02:45:57 AM
Quote from: phoenixofdiscordia on August 26, 2010, 02:17:37 AM
He did write it while in prison, ya know.

Wasn't it exile?

I don't think so. I could be wrong though. Either way, he was being punished for his role in the pre-Medici government and trying to get into the leader's good graces by half-ass agreeing with his policies. He did eventually get to return to Florence (or get out of prison, whichever).
Exile. And no, he died outside Florence iirc.
Really? I was pretty sure he got to go home and spend the last however many years of his life writing letters and such. Then again he might have lived outside of Florence anyway... I will have to find my comprehensive Machiavelli book and look at it again....
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Cain on August 26, 2010, 08:00:13 AM
I like Byron as a personality, and his poetry was certainly the best of his contemporaries....but, well, when you're up against foppish Royalists like William Wordsworth, that isn't exactly hard.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Cain on August 26, 2010, 08:05:56 AM
Quote from: phoenixofdiscordia on August 26, 2010, 03:32:56 AM
Quote from: Hover Cat on August 26, 2010, 03:28:51 AM
Quote from: phoenixofdiscordia on August 26, 2010, 02:58:14 AM
Quote from: Epimetheus on August 26, 2010, 02:45:57 AM
Quote from: phoenixofdiscordia on August 26, 2010, 02:17:37 AM
He did write it while in prison, ya know.

Wasn't it exile?

I don't think so. I could be wrong though. Either way, he was being punished for his role in the pre-Medici government and trying to get into the leader's good graces by half-ass agreeing with his policies. He did eventually get to return to Florence (or get out of prison, whichever).
Exile. And no, he died outside Florence iirc.
Really? I was pretty sure he got to go home and spend the last however many years of his life writing letters and such. Then again he might have lived outside of Florence anyway... I will have to find my comprehensive Machiavelli book and look at it again....

He was exiled from political life in Florence, and his estate was just outside the city.  It wasn't exile in the formal sense, it's just no-one was going to let someone like him near political office ever again.

Also, The Prince is halfway between a satire and the world's longest job application letter.  The advice in it was all good advice for an absolute ruler, no doubt....but it's point was to draw comparison between the spritual rhetoric and ugly power politics of the Vatican.  He also hoped it would get him back in the graces of the Medici and make them forget certain choice paragraphs about assassination and plots in his Discourses on Livy (it didn't).

He spent his years outside of office writing bawdy, satirical plays, which were highly popular throughout northern Italy, and tended to take very sharp swipes at the priesthood and their claims to piety, and possibly plotting against the Medici, though nothing was ever proven.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Cain on August 26, 2010, 08:07:07 AM
Also, Ayn Rand is in no sense a "classical" writer.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: East Coast Hustle on August 26, 2010, 01:49:38 PM
Quote from: Jenne on August 26, 2010, 12:55:03 AM
What's wrong with creepy cougars?  *she says with an ear-to-ear grin*

Creepy cougars are one of life's great pleasures, unless they look like Ayn Rand.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: East Coast Hustle on August 26, 2010, 01:52:20 PM
Quote from: Ne+@uNGr0+ on August 26, 2010, 02:02:03 AM
Quote from: Nigel on August 25, 2010, 11:48:44 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 08:42:32 PM
James Joyce
Emily Bronte
Thomas Hardy
Lord Byron
Emily Dickenson
William Butler Yeats


All of the above wrote pure shit, and should have been infected with smallpox and dropped down a convenient sewer.

I've never read a single one of 'em.

8):hi5::)

Same here.

Thirded. PDX anti-lit crew FTW!
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: AFK on August 26, 2010, 01:58:36 PM
The only author I really have ever followed is Ray Bradbury.  I love The Martian Chronicles, definitely my favorite book ever.  The Illustrated Man was also very good.  But I suppose he's not really a "classical" author. 
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Adios on August 26, 2010, 02:06:20 PM
Quote from: Ratatosk on August 25, 2010, 09:59:59 PM
Also, fuck Jack London.

When I was 12 years old the only thing I could think of I wanted was a copy of The Call of the Wild. I still have that copy.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: AFK on August 26, 2010, 02:07:29 PM
I have one somewhere too.  I actually enjoyed it when I read it as a kid.  Maybe I should dust it off and give it another go. 
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: LMNO on August 26, 2010, 02:53:16 PM
Hey, anyone mentioned Hemingway yet?


Fuck that guy.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Cramulus on August 26, 2010, 03:05:57 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on August 26, 2010, 01:58:36 PM
The only author I really have ever followed is Ray Bradbury.  I love The Martian Chronicles, definitely my favorite book ever.  The Illustrated Man was also very good.  But I suppose he's not really a "classical" author. 

hell yeah ray bradbury!!

The Martial Chronicles are what got me into Lord Byron to begin with


I've got that poem "So we'll go no more a roving" memorized.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: AFK on August 26, 2010, 03:12:02 PM
The piece of Martian Chronicles that really grabbed me was the scene of the automated house on Mars that was left abandoned when everyone went back to Earth.  The house basically slowly ate itself and became a big pile of smoldering ruin.  It really crystallized the narrative of the whole book. 

Also the closing of the book, when the Dad promises to take the kids to see Martians, they look into a pond, and see their reflections. 
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Adios on August 26, 2010, 03:17:59 PM
I may have to read this now.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: AFK on August 26, 2010, 03:24:49 PM
It was written back in the 50s but is still very relevant.  There are so many current day issues that are part of the overall narrative of The Martian Chronicles.  From xenophobia and bigotry to environmental issues. 
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Jenne on August 26, 2010, 03:27:37 PM
Ray Bradbury is an awesome storyteller.  Farenheit 451 is still one of my all-time favorites.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on August 26, 2010, 03:32:38 PM
I agree as does this girl:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1IxOS4VzKM

NSFW... well, at least not the audio bits.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Cain on August 26, 2010, 03:33:19 PM
Ray Bradbury thinks Obama needs to go to the moon

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/herocomplex/2010/08/ray-bradbury-is-sick-of-big-government-our-country-is-in-need-of-a-revolution-.html

Quote"He should be announcing that we should go back to the moon... We should never have left there. We should go to the moon and prepare a base to fire a rocket off to Mars and then go to Mars and colonize Mars. Then when we do that, we will live forever."
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Jenne on August 26, 2010, 04:04:33 PM
Old Man is Old.  But still...interesting theory...
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: NWC on August 26, 2010, 04:07:10 PM
I just got back (5 minutes ago) from an exam on european literature, and I don't think there's a better way to make people hate literature.

For just 1/4 of the exam(which was simply enormous), we were given a list of 25 authors, and for each one we had to know their biography, their style, and extracts of 4-8 books. They presented an extract from one of those 4-8 books, and we had to recognise the author and the book(or play or poem) and then write everything about the author. I now have a list of 25 authors that I hate, due to having been forced to study them in such a way.

(I did recognize the author, btw, I would have been seriously pissed otherwise)
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Cain on January 15, 2012, 03:46:14 PM
Arthur Miller needs to be added to the list.

I remember reading Death of A Salesman when I was about 14.  The damn book was so relentlessy depressing it made me want to commit suicide, let alone the main character.  The Crucible might've been good, sure, and getting it on with Marilyn Monroe gets him mad bragging privileges, but nothing makes up for that piece of shit he wrote.  Nothing.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Bu🤠ns on January 15, 2012, 04:20:36 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2010, 10:10:42 PM
Quote from: Hover Cat on August 25, 2010, 09:47:18 PM
Let's add F. Scott Fitzgerald to this list. The Great Gatsby is a fucking awful novel.

I liked it, because of the Horrible Doom factor, but I'd have ended it differently.

Daisy had syphilis, Tom died of genital warts, and Nick Carroway watched it all in mounting horror, then made off with the silverware and the maid.


Bahhhhahahahahahahahahahahaha

that just made my morning
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Bu🤠ns on January 15, 2012, 04:39:13 PM
Quote from: Cain on January 15, 2012, 03:46:14 PM
Arthur Miller needs to be added to the list.

I remember reading Death of A Salesman when I was about 14.  The damn book was so relentlessy depressing it made me want to commit suicide, let alone the main character.  The Crucible might've been good, sure, and getting it on with Marilyn Monroe gets him mad bragging privileges, but nothing makes up for that piece of shit he wrote.  Nothing.

Thats funny because my father said basically the same thing like 10 or so years ago. Well, save the Marylin part :Lulz:
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Cain on January 15, 2012, 04:41:48 PM
Reading Death of A Salesman is like watching a puppy being put down.  In slow motion.  And on black and white film.  Every waking minute for the rest of your life.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: PeregrineBF on January 15, 2012, 06:49:01 PM
Forcing teenagers to read Death of A Salesman would be the best thing about being a high-school English teacher.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Roly Poly Oly-Garch on January 21, 2012, 10:31:35 PM
Quote from: PeregrineBF on January 15, 2012, 06:49:01 PM
Forcing teenagers to read Death of A Salesman would be the best thing about being a high-school English teacher.

Forcing them to actually perform the play is so much better, though. I've seen two collegiate and one high-school production and I don't think I'm too far out on a limb saying that Willy Loman may be just a tad outside the range of your average teen or early 20's actor.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Juana on January 21, 2012, 10:56:18 PM
I think I saw an old black and white production of Death of a Salesman several years ago. I only remember bits of it, but it was ok. Not something I'd seek out again, but eh.

Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on August 25, 2010, 10:27:01 PM
Arthur Miller for The Crucible

and Nathaniel Hawthorne for The Scarlet Letter.
I love both of these books to bits and won't hear a word against them.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 18, 2013, 03:13:47 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on August 26, 2010, 02:53:16 PM
Hey, anyone mentioned Hemingway yet?


Fuck that guy.

:tgrr:
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Faust on November 18, 2013, 03:19:31 PM
Hemingway dares you to come and say that to his face

(http://www.electriccereal.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Hemingway_1.jpg)
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 18, 2013, 03:38:47 PM
Quote from: Faust on November 18, 2013, 03:19:31 PM
Hemingway dares you to come and say that to his face

Disclaimer:  His face is not currently in that position; it is currently stuck to the ceiling.  You may require a step ladder.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: LMNO on November 18, 2013, 03:53:38 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on November 18, 2013, 03:38:47 PM
Quote from: Faust on November 18, 2013, 03:19:31 PM
Hemingway dares you to come and say that to his face

Disclaimer:  His face is not currently in that position; it is currently stuck to the ceiling.  You may require a step ladder.

:potd:

I flat out cackled at that.

Cackled.

My office is now looking at me more strangely than usual.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: Faust on November 18, 2013, 03:53:53 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on November 18, 2013, 03:38:47 PM
Quote from: Faust on November 18, 2013, 03:19:31 PM
Hemingway dares you to come and say that to his face

Disclaimer:  His face is not currently in that position; it is currently stuck to the ceiling.  You may require a step ladder.

:( Still wouldn't fuck with.
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 18, 2013, 03:57:36 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on November 18, 2013, 03:53:38 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on November 18, 2013, 03:38:47 PM
Quote from: Faust on November 18, 2013, 03:19:31 PM
Hemingway dares you to come and say that to his face

Disclaimer:  His face is not currently in that position; it is currently stuck to the ceiling.  You may require a step ladder.

:potd:

I flat out cackled at that.

Cackled.

My office is now looking at me more strangely than usual.

I'm not well.   :lulz:
Title: Re: The world would have been better off without the following "classical" writers:
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 18, 2013, 03:58:32 PM
Quote from: Faust on November 18, 2013, 03:53:53 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on November 18, 2013, 03:38:47 PM
Quote from: Faust on November 18, 2013, 03:19:31 PM
Hemingway dares you to come and say that to his face

Disclaimer:  His face is not currently in that position; it is currently stuck to the ceiling.  You may require a step ladder.

:( Still wouldn't fuck with.

Wise move.  Ernie is tougher without a face than most people who have two.  He was Dick Cheney in an alternate universe.