Rush Limbaugh is a profit. Hear his words.
Not exactly.
But here goes. Because I don't have the patience to write this shit out eloquently.
Seek knowledge about all this bain capital = banevillain = romneyvillain blah blah that started this week. Basically Limbaugh assumes everyone was spared from the agony of Batman & Robin and thus had never heard of "Bane" from any source until this movie. He then goes off muttering about how this has been a liberal plot for months/years and is the only reason why this villain has the same name as bain capital.
Afterward your brain does a hard reset, but you shrug it off to oxycontin.
Midnight rolls around, and you're in the theater seeing the last major movie of the summer, a movie that is the conclusion of a trilogy and is advertised in virtually everything you've stumbled across recently because you don't live under a rock. You're seeing a movie that will stick with you until christmas (buy buy buy toys toys toys), being the last major summer movie and all.
You watch this movie. It ends. Credits start. You debate with your friends on staying through for possible extra scenes. The consensus is yes. You feed your twitter addiction on your phone. 7m ago. @bbcbreaking "Masked gunman opened fire and set off device at Batman (capitalized) premiere in Colorado, witnesses say".
You enter a shock. You announce to the entire theater what's going on, play by play. You see a patron's eyes widen "I'm glad we didn't go to the imax... (in aurora mall).
You leave the theater. The trigger hits: Batman. You've been fed it long enough. It's everywhere.
Your brain ticks back to the profit's words in the car. You block it out and shrug it off as shit is just going down in (kinda) ghetto denver.
You get home. You check for news updates. You find this. http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-201_162-57476379/mass-shooting-at-batman-premiere-in-denver-suburb-suburb-aurora-colorado/ (http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-201_162-57476379/mass-shooting-at-batman-premiere-in-denver-suburb-suburb-aurora-colorado/)
A gas mask. He was wearing a gas mask. It's so simple. Why wasn't the vision there before? You hear the words of profit hicks in your mind.
I have this feeling man, 'cause you know, it's just a handful of people who run everything, you know ... that's true, it's provable. It's not ... I'm not a fucking conspiracy nut, it's provable. A handful, a very small elite, run and own these corporations, which include the mainstream media. I have this feeling that whoever is elected president, like Clinton was, no matter what you promise on the campaign trail – blah, blah, blah – when you win, you go into this smoke-filled room with the twelve industrialist capitalist scum-fucks who got you in there. And you're in this smoky room, and this little film screen comes down ... and a big guy with a cigar goes, "Roll the film." And it's a shot of the Kennedy assassination from an angle you've never seen before ... that looks suspiciously like it's from the grassy knoll. And then the screen goes up and the lights come up, and they go to the new president, "Any questions?" "Er, just what my agenda is." "First we bomb Baghdad." "You got it ..."
You black out. You come to. It's so easy, why wasn't it there before? Limbaugh is the only one who speaks the truth!
The Dark Knight Rises shooting at the Batman premier in Aurora just ensured Romney loses the election.
:tinfoilhat:
-Or Kill Me
Or just realize this is my feeble attempt to write from the mind of a crazy person shortly after major tragedy.
I've always been convinced that Bill Hicks wasn't really joking about anything.