Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 21, 2012, 03:14:29 am

Title: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 21, 2012, 03:14:29 am
(http://files.brandflakesforbreakfast.com/uploaded_images/joyce-album-cover-710581.jpg)

Joyce Drake, of Sealy, Texas, who made this gem of an album in 1983, thus violating every music treaty signed world-wide at the end of the 1970s.

And based on the audio, I'm nominating her for fucking SAINTHOOD.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dJurexGtak

Her voice isn't bad (in fact, it's pretty good), but the lyrics...Oh, Sweet Baby Jesus, the LYRICS!  It's like John Ashcroft and Rick Santorum had butt babies, and had them raised by Pat Robertson.
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: Luna on February 21, 2012, 03:15:24 am
(http://files.brandflakesforbreakfast.com/uploaded_images/joyce-album-cover-710581.jpg)

Joyce Drake, of Sealy, Texas, who made this gem of an album in 1983, thus violating every music treaty signed world-wide at the end of the 1970s.

And based on the audio, I'm nominating her for fucking SAINTHOOD.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dJurexGtak

Her voice isn't bad (in fact, it's pretty good), but the lyrics...Oh, Sweet Baby Jesus, the LYRICS!  It's like John Ashcroft and Rick Santorum had butt babies, and had them raised by Pat Robertson.

Sweet mother of all that is holy...
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on February 21, 2012, 03:23:25 am
I leave for a week and THIS is what I come back to?!?

I HATE YOU!
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 21, 2012, 03:24:38 am
I leave for a week and THIS is what I come back to?!?

I HATE YOU!

But, the sheer KITSCH value alone!

THIS WOMAN COULD HAVE BEEN THE 1980s VERSION OF LADY GAGA!
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: Freeky on February 21, 2012, 03:26:29 am
WOW. 

 :fursecution:  <-- That's how this song made me feel.
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 21, 2012, 03:27:44 am
WOW. 

 :fursecution:  <-- That's how this song made me feel.

She gets all excited when her boyfriend talks about Jesus!

Look at her.  Stare at her face.  Now imagine her "getting all excited".

Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: Freeky on February 21, 2012, 03:31:05 am
WOW. 

 :fursecution:  <-- That's how this song made me feel.

She gets all excited when her boyfriend talks about Jesus!

Look at her.  Stare at her face.  Now imagine her "getting all excited".

There go my nipples again.
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: Juana on February 21, 2012, 03:36:07 am
I don't know if I can forgive you for that. :lulz:
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 21, 2012, 03:36:55 am
I don't know if I can forgive you for that. :lulz:

You think I LIKE doing shit like this?  Being a Holy ManTM ain't pleasant, you know.
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 21, 2012, 03:38:55 am
I'd also like to point out her sense of style.

If that doesn't qualify her for sainthood, then what's the point of HAVING saints?
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: Freeky on February 21, 2012, 03:39:49 am
I'd also like to point out her sense of style.

If that doesn't qualify her for sainthood, then what's the point of HAVING saints?



What are you talking about?  I'd fap to that.
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 21, 2012, 03:40:24 am
I'd also like to point out her sense of style.

If that doesn't qualify her for sainthood, then what's the point of HAVING saints?



What are you talking about?  I'd fap to that.

What I'm saying.  That's fucking HAWT.
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: Freeky on February 21, 2012, 03:41:27 am
I'd also like to point out her sense of style.

If that doesn't qualify her for sainthood, then what's the point of HAVING saints?



What are you talking about?  I'd fap to that.

What I'm saying.  That's fucking HAWT.

 :fap: :fap:
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 21, 2012, 03:42:00 am
I'd also like to point out her sense of style.

If that doesn't qualify her for sainthood, then what's the point of HAVING saints?



What are you talking about?  I'd fap to that.

What I'm saying.  That's fucking HAWT.

 :fap: :fap:

You know we're not right, don't you?
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: Freeky on February 21, 2012, 03:44:13 am
I'd also like to point out her sense of style.

If that doesn't qualify her for sainthood, then what's the point of HAVING saints?



What are you talking about?  I'd fap to that.

What I'm saying.  That's fucking HAWT.

 :fap: :fap:

You know we're not right, don't you?

Fuck you, we're sick.
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on February 21, 2012, 03:51:00 am
She gets all excited when you talk about Jesus's love and he's coming again and again. Gospel porn. This is the shit Stephenie Meyer listened to when she wrote Twilight. I'm pretty sure.
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: Freeky on February 21, 2012, 03:52:47 am
She gets all excited when you talk about Jesus's love and he's coming again and again. Gospel porn. This is the shit Stephenie Meyer listened to when she wrote Twilight. I'm pretty sure.

Amazing.  You just elevated Stephanie Meyer and Twilight's esteem very, very slightly in my eyes.  :lulz:
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 21, 2012, 03:56:10 am
MORE INFO:

Her album sold precisely 150 copies, which qualifies it as a "poop record", somewhat below a gold record (but still respectable).

The remaining copies from the initial (and only) release have become lost to history.  Since we're all out of Arks & Grails, I think we should quest to find a copy, as an inspiration in these dark days.

Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: Freeky on February 21, 2012, 03:57:04 am
MORE INFO:

Her album sold precisely 150 copies, which qualifies it as a "poop record", somewhat below a gold record (but still respectable).

The remaining copies from the initial (and only) release have become lost to history.  Since we're all out of Arks & Grails, I think we should quest to find a copy, as an inspiration in these dark days.


Oooo!  Yes!
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on February 21, 2012, 04:00:40 am
She gets all excited when you talk about Jesus's love and he's coming again and again. Gospel porn. This is the shit Stephenie Meyer listened to when she wrote Twilight. I'm pretty sure.

Amazing.  You just elevated Stephanie Meyer and Twilight's esteem very, very slightly in my eyes.  :lulz:

I need some Pepto Bismol when I come here. I keep forgetting that. :P
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 21, 2012, 04:01:38 am
FREEKY AND I ARE PLAYING HER SONG ON BOTH FLOORS OF THE HOUSE.

WE ARE BATHING IN THE HOLYTM.  THE NEIGHBORS MAY SCREAM AND CALL THE COPS, BUT WE HAVE JESUS ON OUR SIDE.
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: Juana on February 21, 2012, 04:03:55 am
 :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
MORE INFO:

Her album sold precisely 150 copies, which qualifies it as a "poop record", somewhat below a gold record (but still respectable).

The remaining copies from the initial (and only) release have become lost to history.  Since we're all out of Arks & Grails, I think we should quest to find a copy, as an inspiration in these dark days.


On it!
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on February 21, 2012, 04:04:10 am
FREEKY AND I ARE PLAYING HER SONG ON BOTH FLOORS OF THE HOUSE.

WE ARE BATHING IN THE HOLYTM.  THE NEIGHBORS MAY SCREAM AND CALL THE COPS, BUT WE HAVE JESUS ON OUR SIDE.

Slip your neighbors some cactus and then play the music. Observe the results. Watch for frothing at the mouth and burning crosses on the golf course out back.
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 21, 2012, 04:05:07 am
FREEKY AND I ARE PLAYING HER SONG ON BOTH FLOORS OF THE HOUSE.

WE ARE BATHING IN THE HOLYTM.  THE NEIGHBORS MAY SCREAM AND CALL THE COPS, BUT WE HAVE JESUS ON OUR SIDE.

Slip your neighbors some cactus and then play the music. Observe the results. Watch for frothing at the mouth and burning crosses on the golf course out back.

You are just FULL of GOOD IDEAS tonight.  Except that I'M gonna eat the cactus and listen to it.
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: Freeky on February 21, 2012, 04:06:00 am
FREEKY AND I ARE PLAYING HER SONG ON BOTH FLOORS OF THE HOUSE.

WE ARE BATHING IN THE HOLYTM.  THE NEIGHBORS MAY SCREAM AND CALL THE COPS, BUT WE HAVE JESUS ON OUR SIDE.

I SURE DO GET ALL EXCITED WHEN SHE STARTS TALKING ABOUT HOW EXCITED SHE GETS WHEN SOMEONE TALKS ABOUT JESUS.

ALSO HER HUSBAND IS A PREACHER MAN.  THAT MEANS SHE GOES TO CHURCH.

OMG NAUGHTY  :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap:
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on February 21, 2012, 04:08:39 am
FREEKY AND I ARE PLAYING HER SONG ON BOTH FLOORS OF THE HOUSE.

WE ARE BATHING IN THE HOLYTM.  THE NEIGHBORS MAY SCREAM AND CALL THE COPS, BUT WE HAVE JESUS ON OUR SIDE.

I SURE DO GET ALL EXCITED WHEN SHE STARTS TALKING ABOUT HOW EXCITED SHE GETS WHEN SOMEONE TALKS ABOUT JESUS.

ALSO HER HUSBAND IS A PREACHER MAN.  THAT MEANS SHE GOES TO CHURCH.

OMG NAUGHTY  :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap:

I wonder if she sits in the front pew because she's full of HolyTM or because she's trying to peep up Jesus's loin cloth while he's all open-armed on the cross, behind the pulpit.
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: Juana on February 21, 2012, 04:09:09 am
There are, evidently, eleven copies known to exist. Would a rip of it count?
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 21, 2012, 04:09:32 am
Some say that Joyce was Taken Up.  Some say, that she was killed by a piss jug thrown from a semi on I-35.  But there are those who say that she still lives in Texas, raising the generations resulting from her excitement.
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 21, 2012, 04:10:04 am
There are, evidently, eleven copies known to exist. Would a rip of it count?

It'll have to.  The cost of one of those 11 copies would apparently make your head spin.
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: Juana on February 21, 2012, 04:10:59 am
I'll see what I can turn up that way.

Also, evidently one of her songs is "Reign on Me". Which, in conjunction with her hard on for her Lord, makes me cry a little inside.
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 21, 2012, 04:11:48 am
I'll see what I can turn up that way.

Also, evidently one of her songs is "Reign on Me". Which, in conjunction with her hard on for her Lord, makes me cry a little inside.

This just keeps on getting better!   :lulz:
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: Freeky on February 21, 2012, 04:12:16 am
FREEKY AND I ARE PLAYING HER SONG ON BOTH FLOORS OF THE HOUSE.

WE ARE BATHING IN THE HOLYTM.  THE NEIGHBORS MAY SCREAM AND CALL THE COPS, BUT WE HAVE JESUS ON OUR SIDE.

I SURE DO GET ALL EXCITED WHEN SHE STARTS TALKING ABOUT HOW EXCITED SHE GETS WHEN SOMEONE TALKS ABOUT JESUS.

ALSO HER HUSBAND IS A PREACHER MAN.  THAT MEANS SHE GOES TO CHURCH.

OMG NAUGHTY  :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap:

I wonder if she sits in the front pew because she's full of HolyTM or because she's trying to peep up Jesus's loin cloth while he's all open-armed on the cross, behind the pulpit.

I'm pretty sure she sits in that area off to the side where no one, including the pastor or choir, can see you. 

I know I would, as excited as she gets about hearing about Jesus' love. 
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 21, 2012, 04:12:33 am
But that's probably just an obscure sports term, Garbo.
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: Freeky on February 21, 2012, 04:13:48 am
I'll see what I can turn up that way.

Also, evidently one of her songs is "Reign on Me". Which, in conjunction with her hard on for her Lord, makes me cry a little inside.

This just keeps on getting better!   :lulz:

Dayam!  Lady's got the sexiest Christian album EVAR.
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: Freeky on February 21, 2012, 04:14:46 am
But that's probably just not an obscure sports term, Garbo.
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on February 21, 2012, 04:15:40 am
But that's probably just an obscure sports term, Garbo.

Yeah. Water sports.
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: Freeky on February 21, 2012, 04:17:15 am
Some say that Joyce was Taken Up.  Some say, that she was killed by a piss jug thrown from a semi on I-35.  But there are those who say that she still lives in Texas, raising the generations resulting from her excitement.

Poor Joyce.  She never even saw the bottle flying towards the windshield.  :cry:
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: Luna on February 21, 2012, 12:56:31 pm
But that's probably just an obscure sports term, Garbo.

Yeah. Water sports.

Y'all ain't right.   :lol:
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: BadBeast on February 21, 2012, 03:15:19 pm
The woman is a tool. . . a secksay siren, making it hard for Lord Jesus  followers. So they can reach out and touch the love of Christ. . . And Joyce makes it so very, very hard. . . so hard . . . . . . didn't think . . . . it could get . . much harder . . .Oh Lord. . . . . . let me feel . . . .your Love . . . *fapfapfapfapfap* . . . . . . . . Wheee Dawgie!!    . . .       (Thank you Lord Jesus). . . . 
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: EK WAFFLR on February 21, 2012, 05:42:19 pm
This thread has had me fapping non-stop since it was posted.
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: Lux Aorta of the 40 D on February 23, 2012, 07:04:29 am
I too, am excited about Jesus thanks to you Joyce....










 :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap: :fap:
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on February 23, 2012, 11:49:07 am
My lady parts are so chaffed and sore right now that even a Big, Gay Cowboy couldn't make a difference. Saint Ms. Drake has made me see Jesus in a whole new way. Leather speedo and all.
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: BadBeast on February 23, 2012, 04:52:09 pm
My lady parts are so chaffed and sore right now that even a Big, Gay Cowboy couldn't make a difference. Saint Ms. Drake has made me see Jesus in a whole new way. Leather speedo and all.
Wow, this thread just gets better and better!  fapfapfap
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: Triple Zero on February 26, 2012, 08:09:47 pm
(http://files.brandflakesforbreakfast.com/uploaded_images/joyce-album-cover-710581.jpg)

Damn and people say there wasn't any fashion sense in the 80s! This is hipsterglasses + FABULOUS!!!
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: EK WAFFLR on March 29, 2012, 12:14:30 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlMrKm6K4gI
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on March 29, 2012, 05:21:51 pm
(http://files.brandflakesforbreakfast.com/uploaded_images/joyce-album-cover-710581.jpg)

Joyce Drake, of Sealy, Texas, who made this gem of an album in 1983, thus violating every music treaty signed world-wide at the end of the 1970s.

And based on the audio, I'm nominating her for fucking SAINTHOOD.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dJurexGtak

Her voice isn't bad (in fact, it's pretty good), but the lyrics...Oh, Sweet Baby Jesus, the LYRICS!  It's like John Ashcroft and Rick Santorum had butt babies, and had them raised by Pat Robertson.

I was living 25 miles from Sealy in the early 80's and I never knew about it until now. For which I am profoundly grateful.
And I thought "Don't Mess With My Toot Toot" was annoying.  :aaa:

ETA: SHE'S BEEN IMMORTALIZED http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Joyce_Drake
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on March 29, 2012, 05:58:17 pm
For your fapping pleasure, JOYCE DRAKE RADIO http://www.last.fm/music/Joyce+Drake
"Popular tags: indie, death metal, cult, crunk, sexual"   
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on October 20, 2012, 04:09:03 am
BUMP FOR JESUS (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2uBxcEawVYk)
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 20, 2012, 04:10:10 am
For your fapping pleasure, JOYCE DRAKE RADIO http://www.last.fm/music/Joyce+Drake
"Popular tags: indie, death metal, cult, crunk, sexual"

FUCK YEAH
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: Aucoq on October 20, 2012, 06:19:41 am
(http://files.brandflakesforbreakfast.com/uploaded_images/joyce-album-cover-710581.jpg)

My grandmother looks and dresses almost exactly like her.  Why, Grammy?  Why did you record the lullabies you used to sing to me?!    :sad:
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: serendipity on October 06, 2021, 12:47:51 am
bump because I came across this thread and, while (unsuccessfully) trying to find a full version of any of her songs still on the internet, found out that she died a couple of months ago.
https://www.sealynews.com/obituaries/joyce-drake
Title: Re: NEW DISCORDIAN SAINT: JOYCE DRAKE
Post by: Doktor Howl on October 06, 2021, 04:47:03 pm
bump because I came across this thread and, while (unsuccessfully) trying to find a full version of any of her songs still on the internet, found out that she died a couple of months ago.
https://www.sealynews.com/obituaries/joyce-drake

:(

Youtube search "I get excited" + "When my husband talks about Jesus" + "Joyce Drake".