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[AND THAT'S HOW YOU DO THE ALF.]

It's finally time.







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I'm really excited to show every one this...



















Zipper Sounds













It's called doing "The Alf". 

You can do it too! Just grab the closest pair of sunglasses and male genitalia, and set the bridge of the sunglasses on top of the shaft.





AND THAT'S HOW YOU DO THE ALF.






However this is a drawing of Alf in 2020 if he took up smoking and ran his own convenience store. Things aren't going well as you can probably tell.




_{and definitely not a Dick&Balls wearing sunglasses}


Sometimes when I am done with a conversation. I'll take out my phone and begin playing this song and nod along to the rhythm without breaking eye contact or losing a friendly smile.

https://youtu.be/mX7bSOWBNHY?t=27

[assholes]

This general concept has been covered at length by everyone from the Ancient Greeks to the Buddhists and even the PD so I'll keep it short.

The purpose of this is to provide a common Rhetorical Framework to facilitate collaboration. For what purpose will be made clear soon (not here though. lel.).

This iteration of this concept is also known as "Big R Reality and small r reality".

Big R Reality consists of the "true essence" of all things.

small r reality consists of all the ideas about those things.

Example: "Ball." While I am describing an object that exists in Reality, it is only that, a description. it has general characteristics (sphere) and specific characteristic (rubber),
All of these are only ideas about this ball. "Ball" describes a ton of shit. "Rubber ball" as well. One cannot name the "True essence" of this specific rubber ball.
No, giving it a name does not count.

reality is infinite, and without constraint.

Reality is singular as there is only one "true essence" of whatever thing is being described in reality.

However, There is one true essence of Reality you can name in reality:

Individuals who are excessively pedantic about this concept without purpose are fucking assholes.

Having said that any critiques, ideas, alternative solutions, complaints and/or ridicule are, as always, welcome and encouraged.

[really]

I am posting this as the declaration of the intent* to combine & modernize the PD, BIP, and BIP 2 electric bugaloo into a single Work for Discordianism in 2020 and beyond.

This will largely consist of blending the works into a semi-coherent whole; It is the express desire to minimize any editing of the individual concepts and expressions within the work.
All Authors will (obviously) still have their respective works attributed to them.**

It is a sincere desire to have the blessing of the writers and the community at large.  So any and all planned edits, deletions etc. and the rationale for the decision will be posted into this thread as the project unfolds for discussion, debate, ridicule etc.

Now to contradict that previously mentioned desire; There are two concepts we would like to include in the finished work. The first is largely a rhetorical framework to facilitate spontaneous collaboration between Discordians without contradicting the parts that dissuade it.

The second may or may not be somewhat controversial, as may appear contradictory to one of the major concepts expressed in the PD. which it both does and doesn't. 

I will be posting these in the near future as their own threads to facilitate specific discussion and link them as an edit of this post or in a reply.

There is a wealth of excellent content on this forum, so please provide links or C/P's of things that you think should be included. Nothing is forbidden***, but page margin style additions are preferred.

Yes. There is an ulterior motive. It'll be revealed in the future as reply to this thread. Suffice to say this project isn't to make a book, It's for the creation a tool.****
Will it work? Yes, no, maybe? Sometimes? It's Discordianism buddy I don't know. but I do think you're really gonna like it.

This undertaking is one bore purely out of love for Discordianism, to that end this account (and expressive style) will be used exclusively for this project; At the conclusion of which will cease to be used or accessed, and will preferably be deactivated or deleted.


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*As long as there's motivation and/or a budget remaining.

**These may be placed into a citation page added at/near the end, it'll be posted for discussion if so.

***Any pieces expressing a biased opinion on a specific idealogue will most likely not be included. The reasoning will be elucidated later on. 

****No. it's not a tool for me, or you for that matter; Insofar as a hammer is for a single finger. (To use, not to smash. A hammer is great for smashing single fingers.)



I will probably edit this multiple times, It'll mostly be for grammar & flow.

My Posts format aesthetics will increase as I familiarize with SMF. Hopefully.

GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE MOTHERFUCKERS 

I appreciate you allowing me to waste your time.

Good <local time of day/night> Everyone.

I am here to Proposition the removal of Evil, dependent upon whether it can pass mustard/debate.

The hypothesis I would like to present is simple: There is no "evil", and therefore it should be removed from the general public for the obvious safety concerns it presents.

To elaborate: It's a commonly held belief that animals are not inherently evil, or even capable of evil. For instance, if I drugged, kidnapped and then implanted my children in you so they could slowly consume you from the inside without remorse or regret, there would be many, if not a majority, of "normies" that would believe me to be evil (I use "normies" because I'd probably rather not know you sick f**ks would think about it). Yet when a wasp does the exact same thing, it's morality is not only not in question, but it is even imported specifically to do this exact act.

I posit (when viewed with No Grids & No Filters) that all human actions are prompted by a "good" motivation, even if the human morally and ethically believes what it is doing to be wrong yet does that activity, there must always a "good" motivator. Whether that be due to a belief, an emotion, or pleasure or the removal of discomfort etc. etc.

Ergo, there is no "bad" (Evil) motivatiors, as no human being would in a vacuum, take an action increases a negative stimuli, (Keeping in mind even doing something discomforting will have to have a "good" motivator behind it. Say you, reader, decide that "I'll show him!" And go commit some terrible act you are absolutely repulsed by (please film it), there was still a "good" motivator involved (Showing me whats what being it.)

When these motivators aren't in harmony within two different individuals, they each perceive the other as acting on a negative (bad or evil stimulus).

Therefore, there are only "WrongwayRights" or "misplaced Goods". This also lends credence to numerous religious beliefs regarding good/truth overcoming evil/lies, as well as the end of existence,
because just like when pebbles or sand are agitated within a container, and takes on the appearance of a single featureless mass, Therefore existence does not actually end, but simply becomes one, completely harmonious thing, and thus loses it's dichotomy which is what allows it to be defined as it is. 


This also allows for transcendentalist beliefs of some eastern philosophies (ex. ButtHitsum "that which is not subject nor subjector") as well as the Discordian concept of chao, or sacred chao? It Mu.
basically anything that neither IS nor IS NOT or slips in between the crack of the dichotomy.

(Guess what else is gonna be slipping between a crack later the result of your bad dietary habits, is what)

I look forward to hearing the committees opinions upon on this matter.

Thank you for your time.

-Gen. Pandamon

T҉̨o͠ ̢͠ì̛́n͡͏̛͢͞v̶̧͝o͜͢k͏͢͟͟҉ȩ̵̢̛͡ ͏̧͞ţ̷̴͡h́e҉̵̢͘͞ ̴̀͞h̶͟͞i̷v̸̷̨e҉͢͟͞҉-̵̷͘͞͞m̷͟͞í̷͞͠n͘͘̕d͢͠ ̴̵̀̕͡r̕͢e̷̴͢p̸̢̡͢͞ŗ̵e̶̕s̵̴̨̛ę̴͘͠n̡̢t́̀͝i͘͟͡n͜g̀͢ ̶̕c̴̛͜h͢a̶̧o͘͝҉s̡̧.̴̨̕͞
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̛͟H̨̛͡e̸̴̛ ̧̧̢͘͠w͏̵̨̀h̕̕͞͞ó̴̕͝ ͏̴̛̀Ẃ͞a̴͡į̷͝t̶̨ş̵̷͡͠ ̶̶̧̡͝B̶̸̷̵͢e͝͏̧͝h҉̶͜i̧n̨͡͠d̴̶̷̸̨ ̵͘͝͝T̷̢̕h̸̨͢͠e͏́ ̴̡́͢͜W҉͘͝a͝͞͏̀͝l̸͞l̵̢͘҉.҉̶̸̨̢͜
̨҉̀͘P̵̷͘҉͡r̷̨̕͠͡e̕͜ṕ͞a̴̵̡ŕ̨̛͢è̸͝ ̀̀y̵̧͜o͘͢͜u̴̵͠r҉̀͡s̴̷͜͡͞e̕͜͝l͏̶̧̕f̶͢