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Topics - Pæs

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« on: November 01, 2013, 04:27:20 am »

NEWS: So it has been written in the Holy Book of the Profit-sees of the Spend Times:

In the Fatter Days, they will come from all corners of the globe, misshappen, insane and drug addled, chanting "Roger, Roger, Roger...." while charging their sigils in an autoerotic frenzy. And that this evil cult shall take on the appearance of Roger fetishism. They shall go forth to the interbutts and set up an account on PD. They shall lie in wait, and they shall try and bait the Holy Man of Tucson, sent by our Lady Eris to warn her faithful of the things to come. Many be their number, and varied be their names. The Furby, the Poptard, the Weltburger.... all twisted minds given over to an ancient horror bent on the torment of the faithful. But, oh ye children of Discord, despair not, for Eris is with you and hears of your tribulations. Those who have faith in Chaos shall not be touched by these simians, but verily shall derive their lulz from the derision the monkeys bring upon themselves.

This is the Word of our Fnord. Amen.

Is this NEWS from here or is StickerNinja wandering the internet as a Roger's witness?

Apple Talk / Is there a thread for Russell Brand yelling?
« on: October 26, 2013, 07:25:56 am »
If so, now there's another one.

Apple Talk / Burn the motherfucker down.
« on: October 25, 2013, 10:55:03 am »
So what, Suzie? These treacherous Discordians advertised a culture in which every spag and his mother are aware of monkey politics and playfully dance around them? "Oh, ho!" you cried, "I think what's happening here is a failure to communicate caused by a deliberately antagonistic delivery of an otherwise discussable idea followed by a plausibly deniable refusal to define terms, all carefully wrapped in a hostile package of board history and predictable tropes designed to invoke the failures of the past to derail the conversations of the future". "Shut up, holist" the board resounds. LE GASP. You've hit a wall.

Did Dirty Old Uncle Ratbag sell you on the "be a biped" bit and now you're spluttering between sobbing breaths "I d.. d.. don't come here to be insulted. I T... THOUGHT THIS PLACE WAS DIFFERENT."

WELL, STRAIGHTEN YOUR MONOCLE AND RETRACT YOUR PINKY, BERNARD. That "higher level of discussion" you keep expecting of this place is your responsibility too. AND SOMETIMES (here's the kicker) the humans at the other end of the internet aren't going to be in a position to deliver your Daily Discorja: Just The Way You Like It.

Has the WOMP Cabal sourced an image of your enflamed buttocks and fabricated evidence of your using said buttocks to twerk against Obama at the VMAs?


Well, you know what to do, Billy-boy. Unhinge your jaw and reach back into your throat, right back down the tube, deep into the simmering bile-sac where you've been storing minor sleights and uncage l'esprit_de_l'escalier, throwing out every parting shot you ever missed a chance to hurt your fellows with. Because they shouldn't have fucked with you, should they?  Nigel shouldn't have Nigelled AND HOW WERE YOU TO KNOW YOU WEREN'T ALLOWED TO CURSE NIGEL AND UNCLE R IN THE SAME BREATH? Oh, no. These Discordians don't know who they're dealing with. You've got an amazing capacity to destroy which, while kept restrained for the most, you're secretly very proud of. You were 'the crazy kid' at high-school so nobody would fuck with you.

Now's your chance. Burn the motherfucker down. Drink gasoline and then piss all over the bridge before you burn it.

Burn the motherfucker down, SHIT YOUR HATE and GET IT ALL OUT IN THE OPEN. Or don't and let it continue to fester and colour your experience of the board and instead of going out in a blaze of glory you can just sit here until necessity dictates that the board categories are limited to "YELL ABOUT DRUGS", "POST POLITICAL NEWS YOU FOUND ON FACEBOOK AND/OR FEEL SMUG ABOUT NOT BUYING INTO THAT SHIT".

Just hit capslock, son, and get it all out of your system. Fight the power.
Or alternatively you can invest a buttload of faith into your own metacognitive ability, superficially declare "I AM RIGHT BECAUSE I ACCEPT THAT I MAY BE WRONG" and wear the damn uniform like the rest of us.


Apple Talk / Personal information.
« on: October 23, 2013, 06:38:28 am »
I swear to god if I see one more post about personal information I am going to dox each and every one of you and then make latex masks of your faces so I can go to fancy restaurants and skip the bill WHILE WEARING YOUR FUCKING FACES OVER THE TOP OF MY FUCKING FACE.


I'm going to make anonymous donations TO YOUR WORKPLACES and ORDER PIZZA FOR YOUR NEIGHBOURS without referencing you at all.



« on: October 18, 2013, 11:18:53 am »

« on: October 15, 2013, 09:21:31 am »

Apple Talk / Signor and Signora Paesior Get Married
« on: October 14, 2013, 02:22:23 am »
As mentioned in Open Bar, I just had a marriage. Will post stuff in this hurr thread about it and provide pics when they arrrive in the next few days. This is the bridal party:

This is the story we used to explain our meeting to our guests, many of whom were kind of expecting a traditional wedding in a church (it was at a wildlife sanctuary and someone read a poem during the ceremony about one of us travelling back in time to have a three-way with past us.)

Now this is a story all about how
These two cats wound up exchanging vows
And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there
and check out our introduction unless it's TL;DR
The Fringe Bar, corner Cuba and Vivian Street
Was where Josh and MJ happened to meet
They saw each other at the bar and it was instant attraction
To be fair, though, they were pissed, so maybe that's the reaction
Then a cougar in the corner who was up to no good
Started making trouble in the neighbourhood.
Flirted for a moment and then MJ declared,
"Okay, he can walk you home, but don't take him upstairs!"
MJ fell into a taxi, to Josh's great sorrow,
But she called out of the window, "Come meet my mother tomorrow!"
Both of them delighted with this invitation
They proceeded with a weekend of constant inebriation
Seven weeks later they were living together
And two months after that, they said "let's make it forever!"
So they're planning a shindig and it won't be a flop,
Because Beastie Boys know when to let the beat...

 Highlight of the day, besides the getting married part, was our skilfully edited first dance which opened with slow dance in the same key as Never Gonna Give You Up, which it progressed into. Like, five out of fifty guests understood they were being rickrolled.

This is Signora and I, along with my parents and sister. You can WOMP any of us.

Techmology and Scientism / on{X}
« on: October 09, 2013, 10:45:35 am »
Has anyone heard of this? I've just started putting together instructions for it.

It's an android app by microsoft which allows you to set up "recipes" in JavaScript to program your phone to recognise events and respond with behaviours, examples being "When one of my contacts calls during a meeting, txt them with 'I'm in a meeting'" or "When my battery reaches 15% txt my wife 'My battery is about to die'" or "When I am driving, turn bluetooth on and connect to my car" or "When I am within 200 metres of a location FourSquare identifies as 'mexican food' and it is the evening, alert me."

Seems like it could be made to do some pretty handy stuff and you don't need to know how to write the recipes, you can give existing recipes your own conditions to customise them.

Apple Talk / Feminists are Scary.
« on: October 09, 2013, 07:00:58 am »
Read this today about issues with feminism being exclusionary to newcomers which touches on a number of "WELL FINE I WON'T BE A FEMINIST IF YOU WON'T LET ME" issues that we've run into in conversations here.

So I'm thinking today about how to communicate feminist ideas and encourage communication of those ideas without tone policing or running afoul of the trope in which people rejecting the "women should know their place, be polite about things or shut up" meme are told to present their objections in a polite way or shut up.

My full response to the person who Faceblag'd this follows but contains a lot of hierarchy explanation which is already pretty well covered here. Also, I made a nod to PD but overstated the existence of hierarchy here to support my point (as well as making up what PD's purpose is). Don't freak out.

I think it's an issue you run into in any community/discipline. And excuse me if any of this long ramble accidentally mansplain feminist concepts, I'm trying to just focus on conflict within disciplines. As soon as a subject has enough specialist knowledge, jargon, memes which are only accessible to those who are well read on it, it becomes very easy for a hierarchy to emerge within it based on who knows, or seems to know, the most.

There are hierarchies in Atheism, hierarchies in Anarchism. I contribute to a community whose purpose is, superficially, to identify bias and status hierarchies and modify how we communicate ideas taking these into account and there's a "who is best at observing hierarchies" hierarchy.

Especially within intensely academic contexts, *it feels good to show that you know lots of stuff* and I think eventually it naturally follows that you can use things others don't know to highlight the knowledge you have which is extra valuable. You build a little collection of tidbits that you can share with people who don't have those facts in their collection. It's an adversarial way to interact with one another, but in most cases IRL that conflict is disguised under layers of civility. Less so on the internet. And this is where, I think, the appearance of knowledge becomes important because if you can effectively shut down another speaker on the subject, you can improve your perception of your own status and coax from your brain the pleasant chemicals which come along with that... and feminism has an arsenal of opportunities to tell someone they're using the wrong word or not taking an affected minority into consideration which, while very important subjects for education on, can also be used destructively.

Feminist discussion has had a lot of time to build up a history that newcomers may not be aware of. There are a number of feminist tropes which are based on common reactions to feminism and there's a danger that because the more educated party has dealt with these so many times and is well-learned on the reasons why certain reactions are inappropriate, for them to react with frustration at people who don't seem to get it because they aren't working with the same knowledge-base.

I think it's especially upsetting in feminism because criticisms based in "why didn't you already know this thing I know" ignore the fact that we're talking about a system which is largely invisible to those we're explaining it to and that if your first experience learning about the impact of this system is a hostile interaction on the internet, you're likely to be less receptive to it in future. There's the added complication of needing to be careful not to tell people who are negatively impacted by patriarchy every day to present their opinions of it in a user-friendly way. It's a matter of finding a balance between (totally justifiable) outrage and communicating the reasons for it to those for whom these effects aren't their lived experience.

« on: October 09, 2013, 01:07:10 am »

The experts said it couldn’t be done. But research scientist John Romanishin of MIT’s Computer Science and Artificial Intelligence Laboratory (CSAIL) has created  M-Blocks — cube robots with no external moving parts.

Despite that, they can magically climb over and around one another, leap through the air, roll across the ground, snap together into different shapes, and even move while suspended upside down from metallic surfaces.

Self-assembling swarmbots

Imagine hordes of swarming microbots that can self-assemble, like the “liquid steel” androids in the movie “Terminator II.”

Armies of these mobile cubes could temporarily repair bridges or buildings during emergencies. These cubes could assemble into different types of furniture or heavy equipment as needed. And they could swarm into environments hostile or inaccessible to humans, diagnose problems, and then reorganize themselves to provide solutions.

They could even be special-purpose cubes: containing cameras, or lights, or battery packs, or other equipment that the mobile cubes could transport.

How M-Blocks work

The trick: a flywheel that can reach speeds of 20,000 revolutions per minute. When the flywheel is braked, it imparts its angular momentum to the cube. And on each edge of an M-Block and on every face, cleverly arranged permanent magnets allow any two cubes to attach to each other.

To compensate for its static instability, the researchers’ robot relies on some ingenious engineering. On each edge of a cube are two cylindrical magnets, mounted like rolling pins.

When two cubes approach each other, the magnets naturally rotate, so that north poles align with south, and vice versa. Any face of any cube can thus attach to any face of any other.

The cubes’ edges are also beveled, so when two cubes are face to face, there’s a slight gap between their magnets. When one cube begins to flip on top of another, the bevels, and thus the magnets, touch. The connection between the cubes becomes much stronger, anchoring the pivot. On each face of a cube are four more pairs of smaller magnets, arranged symmetrically, which help snap a moving cube into place when it lands on top of another.

A cube army

The MIT researchers are currently building an army of 100 cubes, each of which can move in any direction, and designing algorithms to guide them. “We want hundreds of cubes, scattered randomly across the floor, to be able to identify each other, coalesce, and autonomously transform into a chair, or a ladder, or a desk, on demand,” Romanishin says.

Romanishin, robotics professor Daniela Rus, and postdoc Kyle Gilpin will present a paper describing their new robots at the IEEE/RSJ International Conference on Intelligent Robots and Systems in Japan in November.

Apple Talk / Good luck saving the world
« on: October 08, 2013, 12:50:46 pm »
Here's the bad news, Slim... and I hate to be the one to reach up into the fluffy white cloud in which your dreams play out but you can be as smart and rational and RIGHT as you damn well please but you're not going to convince anyone who doesn't already want to believe you.

You can have the facts behind you and a little bag of proofs that you're no doubt mighty proud of but unless you can tell a man of God that God's not watching in that secret little language that believers use to speak to each other, you haven't got a chance of being heard.

You can have a notebook full of observations and a commitment to the notion that scientific language communicating scientific evidence is the proper way to display the veracity of scientific notions but climate change denial is a POLITICAL POSITION and nobody is going to trust the kind of dodgy "science" that supports left-wing crackpottery.

These people are immune to your attempts at persuasion, making such attempts mere gestures of outrage and impotence at a target which is more often a decoy. A convenient approximation of your enemy image, an appropriate recipient for your pre-rehearsed disagreements and slogans and dismissals; all more designed to effect in you a happy self-righteous buzz than change in your target's worldview... and all the while you build yourself up into a frothing rage at the idea of a person who gets so invested in their stupid idea and their need to assert dominance to coax a high from the primitive dispensary built into their skulls... a frothing rage which contains, packaged within, an implication of superiority which fulfils your own needs as a primate by dismissing those of your foe.

But unless you can learn how to talk to these people in the secret little language they use to talk to each other, these ideas, whose propagation you believe necessary for the continuation of our species, are going to die with you.

Apple Talk / Those people.
« on: October 03, 2013, 05:11:27 am »
Have you ever tried talking to someone on the opposite side of the political spectrum? Sweet merciful fuck those people are stupid. It's impossible to communicate with them and what they forget when they try to score points against US it that it was THEM who were responsible for all of the issues they're bringing up. I can lay out for these fuckers exactly how I've taken their position into consideration in forming mine so as to be fair about the whole thing and these silly pricks just ignore all of that and blurt out their one-sided arguments without regard for whether I've already successfully countered their points.

They're all totally drinking the kool-aid. It's unreasonable to expect me to maintain a polite approach in dealing with these shitnecks day in and day out. They're totally unwilling to compromise, so yeah, I'm a bit past being respectful of their stupid fucking arguments.


They're liars and they're to blame for all of our woes. Fuck those people.

Apple Talk / CRAMULUS
« on: October 02, 2013, 04:25:32 am »
xkcd has got your number.

                                                                            ^You are this one^

Apple Talk / NSFW
« on: September 27, 2013, 08:38:59 am »

Apple Talk / Both fat people and poor people make the wrong choices.
« on: September 24, 2013, 06:57:29 am »
They should just drink organic juice.

Fresh and local to get through poverty challenge

As hundreds of Kiwis embrace a spartan diet of lentils and rice for the Live Below the Line challenge this week, Ella Rose will be enjoying a wide variety of nutrient rich, locally sourced meals for her 5 days of living on just $2.25 a day. The artist, musician and campaigner has opted to work with Lyndal Jefferies who runs rEvolution juicing on Waiheke to prepare a comprehensive selection of energizing meals and healthy juices.

The Live Below the Line campaign is designed to focus the national spotlight on the hard choices faced by 1.2 billion people living in extreme poverty. Participants spend 5 days below the poverty line as an act of solidarity and to raise funds for a range of leading charities.

Jefferies embraced the mission to prepare 5 days of food for just $11.25. rEvolution has built a loyal and growing base of customers with its model of fresh raw food & juices delivered to their homes. For Rose, the highly nutritious organic juices seemed an obvious place to turn to get through the extreme poverty challenge.

“Once I committed to taking the challenge, I knew I needed to work with rEvolution to get the right balance of healthy foods ” said Rose, “The juices are so full of life and so energizing, I really welcomed the chance to benefit from Lyndal’s extensive knowledge of affordable local food sources."

While highlighting the plight of the world’s poor is a top priority, Rose says the challenge for her is about much more than starving yourself for a charity.
"We live in a world where the numbers of obese people now are greater than the number of people starving, a world where over a billion people are barely surviving on less than NZ$2.25 a day, and where 70% of the extreme poor are women and children,” she said. “I see the challenge as an opportunity for me to make intelligent food choices and to reflect deeply on our relationship to health, nutrition, and our global food production and distribution systems."

For Rose, the challenge embodies the “Think Global, Act Local” motto and offers a chance to discuss positive ideas that challenge the status quo.
“I believe that our planet really is in need of a revolution, a revolution in consciousness about food, about health, and about fairness and resources,” Rose said. “There is something seriously wrong in a world where mass obesity and malnourishment live side by side, where people with too much are killing themselves with food, and people with not enough, are trapped in a cycle of desperation."

Over 1500 people across the country have signed up to take the Live Below the Line challenge. Their experiences will prompt hundreds of conversations about extreme poverty and raise over $500,000 for 23 anti-poverty organizations.

Every day Ella will eat tangelos, apples, smoked fish lettuce wraps, apple pulp truffles and grain and seeds balls along with a daily Green Juice made from organically grown Kale, Cavolo Nero, Spinach, broccoli leaves, mint and apple and green smoothies made from Waiheke grown bananas.

Like Rose, the challenge has forced Jefferies to examine some of the wasteful elements of the food system.

“Plants like broccoli produce so many dark green nutrient rich leaves and they are usually thrown away,” she said. “We can eat so much more of our plants than we realise."

Rose is raising funds for the Global Poverty Project, the organization that coordinates the Live Below the Line challenge.

“Extreme poverty can feel like a problem that is so far away and that we can’t help solve,” said Rose. “This experience of working with Lyndal, reflecting on industrial food systems, the resulting health problems and talking about local alternatives, these are insights that can have a huge impact in the developing world."

For Jefferies, who already runs her business with an ethical 'zero waste' policy, our whole relationship with food production and consumption is out of balance. She works closely with the local community on Waiheke to source her organic fruit and vegetables and to step away from supermarket food systems that consume expensive 'food miles' and often sell cheap food with little or no nutritional value. She is passionate about the health benefits of juicing and says that even on a limited diet that reflects the fiscal restrictions of the Live below the Line challenge, Rose should feel the benefits of not eating processed foods, refined carbohydrates, coffee, chocolate and other staples of the 'modern' diet.

Ella Rose will be living on just $2.25 a day for all food and drink from the 23rd-27th of September. To support her, please go to and search for her name. To find out more about rEvolution, please find them on Facebook: waihekejuicerevolution

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