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I WILL KILL A MOTHERFUCKER.

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Messages - Pæs

#46
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 18, 2015, 01:12:48 AM
So, the Happy Families bubble burst today, and I am pleased to report that my employees are actually just as fucked up as everyone else.

Most of them are going on vacation next Monday, and they suddenly all decided they had to get "their side of the story" in with the new boss.  But the new boss doesn't care.  Half of them are cheating on their spouses with coworkers.  I don't care.  The other half are overly concerned about said cheating.  This also doesn't register as important.  I have seen where this goes, and it's a horrible snarl of twisted priorities, but I don't give a shit.

It's really this simple.  We fix the domes.  We get the brain-eating amoebas out of the water.  We clean up after semifunctional scientists and ancient docents.  We don't run tourists over.  It's not calculus.

I am not bitching, mind you.  I am actually quite relieved, as things seemed just a little too good to be true, and now it's way more human.

Hank shuffled into the room. This was an office, once. Long ago, before the Roger times came. Hank remembered an office here some time last month. Now it was a labyrinth of manuals and schematics. Hank couldn't believe there was anywhere enough equipment to justify this much paper. Not in the complex. Not in the state.

He had been hesitant to come in, really. Davis had come in with a welcome and a gift basket earlier in the day and nobody had seen him since. He'd probably gone home. Must have gone home. But it didn't sit right. No, Hank hadn't wanted to come in but he felt it was morally imperative that the new boss know the score.

The room seemed empty. Gradually accepting that Roger wasn't in, Hank let his attention drift to the annotated schematics covering the floors and walls and found that he had trouble parsing them. He narrowed his eyes and moved nearer a document with renewed focus. To his surprise, the content was indecipherable. It was positively arcane and certainly nothing related to any of the equipment he'd ever seen. Paralysed by puzzlement as he was, Hank didn't see Roger emerge from a stack of books until he was upon him, pinning the puzzled engineer to the wall and disturbing the new wallpaper, sending robot pin-ups drifting to the floor.

"What is it, man? Is it the domes?"

Hank blinked and stammered, "I... I... no? What? No. The domes are..." He committed to pushing Roger from him indignantly and straightening his clothes but found this commitment didn't translate into anywhere near enough force to make the man budge. Roger's face advanced upon him and Hank became aware that the new boss was wearing a jeweller's monocle, giving an eerie, inquisitive edge to his stare.

"The domes are..? You were saying about the domes?"

Hank stared in terror. "No, I... well, that is. I thought you should know about what's going on between Laura and James and Karen." He had meant to be more tactful, but circumstances had not allowed for that. Roger released him and turned away dismissively, appearing to immediately lose interest. He took a couple of steps away before pausing and looking back "And you're certain there's nothing about the domes?" The new boss's glare was chilling. "You certainly wouldn't keep anything from me if it were about the domes?"

Hank shook his head desperately. Roger glared a moment longer then nodded his acceptance. "Very well. Back to work. There's no place like dome." His lips twitched a brief smile at the last sentence. Roger gestured to his desk, upon which a gift basket sat. "Help yourself to a little treat on your way out, for your excellent work."

Hank's blood ran cold. Not at the sight of the gift basket, but at the only other non-paper item atop the desk.

Holding down the corner of a diagram of the facility, functioning as a paperweight, were Davis's car keys.
#47
Apple Talk / Re: FUCKING MOBILE INTERNET TOUCHSCREEN SHIT
December 17, 2015, 09:40:56 AM
#48
Just finished two days of local hacker convention. Very sleep. Grats to Nigel and Roger!
#49
I keep wondering what the fuck is going on in this thread:
#50
I'm working away at the Matasano Crypto Challenges as I finish Chuck Easttom's "Modern Crypography" and work towards relevant math on Khan Academy. Once I refactor the code which cracks Vigenère ciphers (or similar), I'm starting to have the makings of a decent toolset for attacking encryption functions for security capture-the-flag competitions, which will be handy.

Some colleagues of mine and I have got one coming up at the end of next week which should be a good chance to test it.
#51
Keep your alarm further away from your bed so you have to get up to turn it off. Don't get back into bed.
#53
Wondering whether the hostage-takers in France today were planning their heist for last week but decided to wait a few days for everything to calm down.
"Nah, in a week or so everyone will be less on edge about armed men taking hostages. Wait until then for the robbery."
#54
That was a great piece. People I've linked to your "History of IS" piece have really enjoyed it, too.
#55
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Paris attacks thread
November 18, 2015, 05:02:15 AM
So the argument that ISIS will pretend to be refugees as a means of getting into the US, obviously that's a desirable thing for them to do just to incite further hostility against refugees, but is it a more practical method of entering the US than whatever is currently available to them?

What's preventing ISIS supporters from travelling to the US at present? If potential attackers aren't making it into the states (I don't know whether they are or not) is it because border security is working or is it because there's limited attempts being made?

I'm trying to get a sense for whether accepting refugees could credibly increase the possibility of a terrorist attack in the US and if not, why not so I can respond to dicks on Facebook.
#56
Somewhat on topic, today in California I answered the door when the burger delivery person arrived, inadvertently concealing the tip and the hand holding the tip behind the doorframe. His eyes darted down to the obscured hand, narrowing with some concern.

Then I tipped him and nobody got shot, but there was a moment there where anything could have happened.
#57
Happy Birthday, Roger!
#58
Fucking with that place isn't even sporting. Who could have known that maintaining a presence on "we dun need no skool" might be correlated with stunted maturity?
#59
Sorry to hear that, Roger. Care of parents is always fucking hard.
#60
So is this a place for people who were too fucking dumb to function on totse or similar?