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Messages - chaotic neutral observer

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16
Apple Talk / Re: Last one to post in thread wins
« on: September 19, 2021, 01:51:13 am »

17
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: September 05, 2021, 05:47:47 pm »
It will stay disabled.  If your account has been around a while, it will compare your pic to pics you have loaded.

If you don't have pics, it will compare your pic to pics of people who have been banned.

If it doesn't find a match, it allows the account.

The problem with their model is that they are making it really difficult and annoying for anyone new to join up.  That won't bite them for a while, but it will in fact bite them.

Yup.

Quote from: Faceless Drone
You can't use Facebook because your account, or activity on it, didn't follow our Community Standards.
We have already reviewed this decision and it can't be reversed.
To learn more about the reasons we disable accounts visit the Community Standards.

This was a one-hour-old account, and my sole activity on it was to ask a question about a fruit tree sale.

I since sorted it out via phone, so come next weekend, I'm gonna plant myself a few dwarf sour cherry trees.

18
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: September 03, 2021, 08:16:32 pm »
Today I created a Facebook account; I had a question to ask of the university's fruit tree program, and this seemed like the easiest way.  (I had an account a while back, but I never used it, and was getting annoyed by the spam, so I deleted it.)

Anyway, I set up the new account, and posted my question.  I came back a little later to check for a response, but my browser autocompleted to https://www.facebook.com/HolyNonsense/, since I guess I'd followed that link a while ago.  And since Facebook doesn't let you see much of anything unless you have an account, I decided to browse a bit.

I scrolled down the Holy Nonsense page, and then YOUR ACCOUNT HAS BEEN DISABLED.
 :eek: :) :lol:

There was no reason given for this, but I guess that's normal.  I clicked through to request a review.  It asked for my picture to confirm my identity, but since I'd never sent Facebook my picture to begin with, I sent a random picture of a cat sitting under a zucchini plant; they can make of it what they will.

19
Apple Talk / Re: Last one to post in thread wins
« on: August 15, 2021, 04:59:00 pm »
Pretty sure I win  8)

It's a fair attempt, but calling yourself "the last one" isn't enough to make you the last one.  It was never going to be that easy.

You need dedication.  Commitment.  You need to spend every waking hour refreshing this thread, watching and waiting, dangling the prospect of victory before your opponents, only to snatch it away when they drop their guard, thereby gradually whittling away at their resolve.

And you need to hold onto hope when your own victories are inexorably crushed, again and again.

No, this thread isn't going to be won by word games and cheap tricks.  It can be won only by blood.

Sounds like someone is salty they didn't think of it first

MY BLOOD IS LIQUID NATRIUM, MY BREATH HALOGEN.  But let's leave my origin story out of this.

Calling yourself "The Last One" fails for three reasons.

The first reason is grammatical.  The thread title is "Last one to post in thread wins", not "The last one posting in this thread wins".  Infer a couple commas, tweak the capitalization, and you might read that as "The Last One, posting in this thread, wins", in which case the selected username could have some merit.  But we don't have any reason to say that "The Last One" as a forum user refers to the same entity as the "last one to post in thread"...especially when "The Last One" currently isn't the last one to post.  They do have a valid standing as the last one to register for this forum...for now, anyway.

A better choice of username would have been "Last one to post in thread".  Such a user would appear to win, simply by virtue of existing, whether they posted or not...but that brings us to the second reason:  Intent.

In a court of law, if Douglas Defendant sues Alice Plaintiff, we understand that, for legal purposes, Defendant is the plaintiff, and Plaintiff is the defendant.  In the court, the intent of the law would supersede the apparent letter of the law.  Any rights reserved to the defendant would clearly apply to A. Plaintiff, not D. Defendant.  The proximate intent of this thread is clearly that the last person posting here should win, not that it be concluded by semantic arguments.

The third reason is trivially obvious.

20
Apple Talk / Re: Last one to post in thread wins
« on: August 14, 2021, 04:52:35 am »
Pretty sure I win  8)

It's a fair attempt, but calling yourself "the last one" isn't enough to make you the last one.  It was never going to be that easy.

You need dedication.  Commitment.  You need to spend every waking hour refreshing this thread, watching and waiting, dangling the prospect of victory before your opponents, only to snatch it away when they drop their guard, thereby gradually whittling away at their resolve.

And you need to hold onto hope when your own victories are inexorably crushed, again and again.

No, this thread isn't going to be won by word games and cheap tricks.  It can be won only by blood.

21
Apple Talk / Re: Last one to post in thread wins
« on: August 04, 2021, 02:51:47 am »
Victory bermp!!
Congratulations!  I always knew you had it in you.

22
Apple Talk / Re: Last one to post in thread wins
« on: August 02, 2021, 11:06:37 pm »
This is the best possible time to be alive.

23
Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« on: July 30, 2021, 07:35:48 pm »
For most buildings, the sewer interlock is just a 180 degree trap, like you have under your sink.

That much I know, but I assumed a drone would be able to navigate a regular trap (it might impose some size limitations, but this critter is already capable of ascending a ten-foot pipe, so I expect mobility is solvable).

What I had in mind was putting two valves in series downstream of the toilet, designed such that only one of them could open at a time (like an airlock).  The toilet flushes, the first valve opens, poop passes, then it closes, then the second valve opens, the idea being that there is always a physical barrier to anything moving upstream.  This would be an expensive retrofit, would be susceptible to clogging, and probably wouldn't even be very effective (if the drone just stops and waits, couldn't it get past the valves in two flushes, anyway?)

24
Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« on: July 29, 2021, 04:58:03 pm »
Me:  "Boss, I'm building a drone that goes up the sewer pipes into peoples' toilets.  This is an all-new nightmare.  Do you have some NORMAL people around to build that?"

I was thinking about countermeasures for this.  By the time I figured that we might need an encrypted data channel between the toilet flush controller and the sewage interlock, it became clear that:

1.  I don't understand much about plumbing.
2.  Any travelling heads of state would be best served to request a hotel room without a toilet, and they will just have to go in a chamber pot.

25
Apple Talk / Re: Last one to post in thread wins
« on: July 22, 2021, 06:50:03 pm »
This post is an offer to enter into a legal contract.  By posting in this thread, immediately following this message, you accept the offer and agree to abide by the terms of this contract.  Any post shall be construed as acceptance; the contents of said post are not relevant.

For the purposes of this contract, the person making the next post in this thread (if any), and thereby accepting the offer, shall be known as the party of the first part.

Ok. You have two days to bring me the flax. I expect an invioce for costs in detail in order to fulfill my end. Per the contract I am under no obligation to give you further information about my location, but without notarized PROOF of delivery you will be in actionable breach of your own contract.

Good luck.

As highlighted above, only the immediately following post qualifies.  Regrettably, you came in second by twenty minutes, and Doktor Howl is now the party of the first part.

I have consulted with a lawyer qualified in exotemporal contract law, and have been informed that since it is currently 1973 in Tucson, Doktor Howl has forty-eight years plus two business days to complete payment.

26
Apple Talk / Re: Last one to post in thread wins
« on: July 22, 2021, 03:55:03 am »
This post is an offer to enter into a legal contract.  By posting in this thread, immediately following this message, you accept the offer and agree to abide by the terms of this contract.  Any post shall be construed as acceptance; the contents of said post are not relevant.

For the purposes of this contract, the person making the next post in this thread (if any), and thereby accepting the offer, shall be known as the party of the first part.

I, chaotic neutral observer, in exchange for consideration as listed below, offer the following:

1.  To deliver to the party of the first part, not less than five pounds of flax.
2.  To, upon receipt of the consideration noted in item 4 below, refrain from making any posts in this thread which immediately follow posts made by the party of the first part.  This does not apply to posts made by third parties (parties of the third part), and does not take effect until receipt of the consideration.


The party of the first part shall provide the following consideration:

4.  The sum of $5 CAD, plus the cost of shipping and procuring the flax.
5.  If the party of the first part is the last poster in this thread, and thereby becomes the winner, then they will irrevocably transfer to chaotic neutral observer any and all benefits derived therefrom, whether tangible, intangible, or entirely chimerical, including monies, bragging rights, and interdimensional book deals.

The amount owed is due within two business days of offer acceptance.

The party of the first part agrees to indemnify, defend, and hold harmless chaotic neutral observer for any direct, indirect, or incidental damages, impairments, or awkward conversations incurred during the execution of this contract.

In the event of cancellation or nonperformance of contract, due to any cause, including Acts of Goddess, the party of the first part shall be held solely responsible.

This contract shall be governed by and enforced under the jurisdiction of Pima County, Arizona.

27
RPG Ghetto / Re: Unified Vidya Games thread
« on: July 21, 2021, 03:12:20 pm »
I've been playing some Frostpunk, lately.  It's a survival city-simulator with a steampunk aesthetic, where some sort of cataclysm has caused the global climate to cool drastically.  The temperature starts at -20 C...and then drops from there.

The ostensible object of the game is to keep your people warm, fed and healthy, while meeting certain objectives that are thrown at you.  In reality, though, the game is about managing hope and discontent.  It doesn't matter if everyone is alive, and you're producing enough raw materials to keep everything going; if your people are angry about extended hours, cold workplaces, and being fed nothing but thin soup, there's a real possibility you'll find yourself kicked out into the frozen wasteland.  Sure, you could shorten working hours...and risk a coal shortfall which causes the generator to shut off in the middle of the night...and then everything freezes, people start getting sick, your medical posts are overwhelmed, and production drops even further.

It's a fun game, and a pretty decent challenge on the higher difficulty settings.  There's not a tremendous amount of replay value once you've finished the main scenarios, though.

28
Apple Talk / Re: Last one to post in thread wins
« on: July 21, 2021, 12:38:06 am »
Victory.  A hollow and ridiculous notion.  All victories are temporary, for who can escape the inevitable spectre of death?

But I am patient.  Patient.

29
Apple Talk / Re: Letters to James
« on: July 12, 2021, 05:41:25 pm »
I think of semi-frozen chunks of Bezos landing all over Texas, and then I think about a frozen bit of Bezos hitting a Texan, and there is literally no downside to any of this.

I think this is beautiful, and I would pay money to watch it happen.

30
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: July 09, 2021, 09:13:38 pm »
Birds cannot be trusted.  They are not on our side.

I warned everyone.

A single blow to the back of the head, and my perspective is irrevocably changed.

Is this a kind of enlightenment?  But it came not from the cudgel of a well-meaning Buddhist monk, but from a black-winged devil.

The crows are everywhere.  How did I not notice this before?  Every time I leave the house, they're there, shrieking, rasping, lurking, glaring with soulless eyes.  They're almost always in groups of 3 or 4, and seem to have a affinity for parks.  They are intensely territorial, and will scream continuously if they consider me an intruder....which seems to be about half the time.

Now, whenever I hear a crow, or see one, I snap into a heightened level of awareness.  I need to know where they are and what they are doing.  I am beginning to learn their language.  When I walk past a group, I turn to watch them, in case one decides to swoop down on me.

And one did, this morning, in a park far removed from the earlier attack.  As I passed, it started circling at a low altitude, perhaps just warning me off, but maybe looking for an opening to attack.  But I kept turning to face it, maintained eye contact, and it broke off and perched on a lamppost.  If it had actually dove, I would have tried to knock it away.  I don't know what the outcome of that would be, but I think I'd rather take damage to an arm than to my face.

I'm starting to think about maintaining air cover while I walk.  Directly under a tree, I'm likely safe; but a short distance from a tree, or anywhere out in the open, I'm a target.  There really aren't many safe spaces, when you start to think about it.

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