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Messages - Enrico Salazar

#1
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on January 03, 2013, 01:36:54 AM
Rubber

It's about a murderous sentient tire.

Is like every dreams Enrico has ever has.
#2
Enrico once know man him who ever only eat pineal gland.

He still fart like every else one.
#3
Who this Pango Gilespi is?
#4
Dear Swine,

Even though most Salazorian childrens pass hooker and blow while still in the kindergarten, Papa is proud of his son any way. In own way.

There will be no visit to world biggest little city, memory of end of Stacie Q career there still to new and pain. Usually the pain is good, like memory of fistfight with Gene Rayburn which end with him lose 3 front teeth. Had always bother the Generalissimo that he have three front teeth when play as guest on Match Game. But. But. But main reason papa will be no visit is he is much busy give advice to the Trumps. As Uday will no doubt remember, papa meet him on Lifestyle of Rich and Famous in 1985 and become fast friend. You recall Papa teach him to grab by poosay, Salazorian word for gooch - he think Enrico mean vaginas, you remember we all have good laugh. Silly billionaire, how will you know if someone has hide switchblade in gooch if you pinch at vaginas? Any way, was almost close enough and so funny the Generalissimo forgive insult. Was Enrico who introduce the Donalds to "Marla Maple", or as she known today, Ann Coulter. Is good to know immortal succumbs like her, is funny.

Enrico also introduce the Donalds to new wife, who now known as Melania, but you know as aunt Chlamydia, sister of Diabo. She look good since she have obesity remove to become Ariana Grande.

Enrico important part of Trumps dictatorship today, and also busy busy busy chatting with people on 4chan. He pick name "Q" because of hilarious evil God on the Star treks. And also genius in James Bonds movies. Is good name.

NO VISIT.

AND NO BAIL FOR DIABO. SHE SHOULD DIE. AGAIN.

your papa,

In good time and bad,

Still waterproof after all these year,

Enrico Ritzibottom Salazar

#5
Principia Discussion / Re: Im not dIscordIan
March 17, 2016, 05:42:35 AM
you am adorable
#6
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on September 13, 2015, 07:40:19 AM

SeƱor Salizar may I have your permission to look through your posting history and see your writings here and understand? I am asking because I would not look upon a soul so great in an attempt to pretend to understand, but only to understand. And this is not truly possible without your knowing, of course.
To do otherwise is for the fools and the cowards!

Were you not force to read all Enrico's writings before allow to join forum?  WHEN DID THIS CHANGE???
#7
Once, the Generalissimo was just little baby maggot like Chaos Advocate... only want to help help help all the stupid peoples.  Peoples, they are full of dumb.  You can put that on bumper sticker, buckie, believe Enrico when he toss truth nugget at you.  Peoples, not just some of peoples, no; all peoples; peoples, they do not know what they want, or know what they need. They do not know what decisions they should for make.  They do not know what road to take.

For that, they need Papa.

Papa know you lust for subjugation, how else can peoples explain adoration of Donald "Onion Loaf" Trump?  He is the New Papa, the Papa these times have demand. 

Smile, maggot.  You love us.

Like Krazy Kat love little monster mouse Ignatz, when he toss brick after brick at her face, so you love Papa too as he slowly step sole of his boot down on you face, crunch satisfyingly into flesh and bone.  You love us.  You need us.  Papa is firm, but is out of love.  You strong, you pretty, but you dumbs.  Papa know. 

Enrico has see future, glorious faggots, it is: A bucket of Napalm above every door.  To keep you on you toes.  Papa teach.  Discipline is no cheap, but is necessary.  Enrico know think for peoples is most caring thing he can do, is why he invent pre-filled ballot card.  Why stress the maggots?  Papa know best.  Decision is for adult to make, not all the little ones, running around while place bets on feud of Nicki Minaj or Miley Cyrus. 

Embrace reflection, Chaos Advocate... you are dictator too, just like Papa.
#8
Yes, laugh laugh laugh, but Enrico had unique experience with a Sand Witch when he was young, was no laugh matter.
#9
All high school in Salizore also maximum security prison: THIS HOW WE LEARN.

Here, she is story:

Is hard to believe, but one time Enrico was not huge sweating slab of man meat he am today, no, in fact once he was huge sweating slab of teen meat... this is call "grow", is like erection for whole body, but slightly less erotic. Only slight.  Is still involve puberty, and what is more erotic than puberty? Only Charo.

When Enrico was teenage, he attend Gilles de Rais High, and was both worst student and best student... is tricky because both concept almost identical in Salizore.  He was in gang called Lo Volturos, which was also junior members of Lo Volturos political party, but cooler because they wear leather jacket, instead of full leather suit.  Lo Volturos was only political party in Salizore, and also only teenage gang.  No, this is not entirely true, there had be 2 gangs, but one defect away to Puerto Rico... this gang was call Menudo.  Nobody know what ever happen to them.

One day, exchange prisoner from Austalia is come to Gilles de Rais High: her name Katherine Knight.  She and young Generalissimo begin mad love affair, during slick and slimy summer nights.  She think she must impressive Enrico, and so become dress like slut.  Well, sluttier.  More slutty.  And funny part (haha) is Enrico at same time had also think she want him to be more mature, so he had first join student council as Treasurer, and once win, murder all other member of student council and proclaim himself Generalissimo.  Is funny story, and still act out as passion play every September 9, when Enrico is risen from the dead.  Play, she is now called "Grease".
#10
Quote from: ChaosAdvocate on September 11, 2015, 02:45:08 PM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on September 10, 2015, 06:09:58 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 10, 2015, 05:57:02 PM
Not sure why this is in the political section.

I was hoping for something concerning the school-prison pipeline, but I was disappointed.  Moving this to Richard Nixon.

Well I'll ask a question then. What do you mean by school - prison pipeline? Shitty OP aside I did notice that my old high school put outright prison like policies in place after 2000 when I graduated. Do you think that was social prepping or some such?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-m2iO7lY7EI

Anyway here are several methods I've invented for safely picking up the soap:

Beat the crap out of someone and take their soap off of them or just snatch it off them, tell them to go pick up your soap for you if they want their soap back cause self preservation ftw.

Second, do a double backflip and make sure your foot touches the tip of the soap to send it flying. Now catch it asap and don't drop it again this time.

Third, kick the soap near the wall. Face your back to the wall and pick it up from there.

Fourth, bring a rope with you in which you tie the soap to everytime you have to shower.

Why you are avoid the inevitable, miserable shitstain? HUH?

Grab you ankles, bless the goddess, and prepare to be become fully man.

These maggots these day, they know NOTHING.
#11
Quote from: Richter on May 29, 2015, 01:29:13 AM
pausing for the nurse to hose out a cavity with saline before he says his piece.


Enrico would watch.
#13
Principia Discussion / Re: Introduction/Flaxscript Idea
November 27, 2014, 02:03:05 AM
Enrico last winter print his own dollars, in lovely downtown Toledo area.  Many homeless peoples take them in exchange for hug, but nobodys else is interest.  Even when threatened with .45, they only call polices.  So good lucks, faggot.
#14
More and more, days after days, this countrys feel like Enrico is homes again.
#15
Yes. And we all know what word is.