Messages

Enrico love this country!  Become more and more like home every single day.

TELL ME A STORY, UNCLE ENRICO!

It was Great Schnauzer Shortage of 1977 which began the Annual Roast of the Hobo.  Enrico's popo, Ritzibottom Salazar (renowned poet and inventor of the Slinky), had always hate that particular breed of dog.  Some say because he violently lose his virginity to such a breed, but also some say just because he did not like how they taste.  Either way, he have made provision that in each winter the country would take all the loose schnauzers (of which there were many, our rats needed SOMEthing to eat!  Do not look at Enrico that way, not without offering a drink first) and roast them in town squares.  Is for warmth, is for food, and is for entertainment: the recordings of many of the howlings topped Salazorian dance charts well into disco era.  But Enrico digress... where he was?  Ah yes, the hobos.  Well, it came to pass in 1977 that Enrico's big scientist, Dr Mindbender (no relation to GI Joe character with stunningly erotic mustachio, no) had create hybrid squid and doberman as birthday surprise for Diabo... but joke was on all of Salazore when these adorable hybrids eat all the schauzers!  What was a country like Salazore to do?  Much commercialism had grown up around Annual Roast of the Schnauzer... Enrico have perfect idea.  Around that time, a small town near Sindi (capitol city of glorious Salazore) had begun to try to assert itself politically, this was town call Hobo Town.  Hobo Town was town full of hobos, because Salazorians love things to be literal and direct.  Is possibly cause of some confusion when we visit other country.  Enrico thought about how he had read that the USA roasted communists in the 1950s, and decide that Hobo Town's political aspirations were premature, as Enrico's ejaculation has never been.

Sadly, story is short and anticlimactic from there.  Hobos were roasted, along with their political manifesto... which is not sad part.  Sad part is Hobos have drastically less numbers than stupid schnauzers.  So, Island Nation of Salazore had one wonderful roast, which made entire country smell like hotdogs, but after that we had to move on to liberals.  Sigh.

Is erotic:

HAND THING

Enrico love this country!  Become more and more like home every single day.

If we are to speak of shaming daddies, Enrico will need to change his sheet first.

LMNO, I think lazy slob best describes you, always ready for the cheap shot, as long as it doesn't occupy much more than a line and a half.

So's your mom.

My muther is a very active lady who still exerts tremendous effort at 70. She is somewhat ready for the cheap shot, but will belabour it at the drop of a hat.

Enrico is not certain "effort" is word he would use to describe, but will admit: she have remarkable elasticity!

Enrico use similar advertisement in favor of drugs.

It read:  I SHOT UP THE POT ONCE, NOW I AM A GLORIOUS FAGGOT.

I think smiling ECH is cute. Adorable looking, even.

it's the pretty eyes. 

Aww, thanks!



(note to self - ladies not as repulsed by the hash-induced lazy-eye as previously assumed)

Rats.  Enrico was think that look PCP stink eye.

I'm going to write bios for a sticky thread collecting the histories of anyone foolish enough to volunteer for this.  I do not need your facts, I will just make it up as I go along.

If I do for some strange reason need info, I'll PM you.

This is volunteer only, so bring an extra butt, because the one you have is going to hurt.

WHEN I am done with the first dozen, I will arrange a contest to see which victim or victims gets to write my bio.

Enrico demand to be slandered.  He has not made legitimate kill in weeks.

Enrico has been say this for 8 year now.

Enrico is back!  You glorious faggot!

Is Enrico's decade, you fabulous slut.

Funny, Enrico's pet name for Diabo was "hairy crab".

He is glad she is dead.

I mean, look around; Capitalism has become SO BLOATED that it is now indistinguishable from Soviet Communism in 1985.

We don't have to wait in line for toilet paper, this is true...We just can't afford it.

We don't burn books - or "offensive" magazine covers - we just take them off the shelves.

We don't have secret arrests and trials...Um, wait.  Yeah, we do.

We don't have secret police.  Wait, sorry, I was all 20th century for a moment there.

We don't have a politburo.  Instead, we have a completely ineffectual congress.

Our leaders and captains of industry drive Western automobiles.  We have Zils.  Our leaders eat caviar, we hope there are enough potatos.

I'm happy to be a kulak.  True capitalism in our lifetime!

Why you whine like dog who fur is too tight for its arsehole, hah?  Is sound glorious to Enrico, is more and more like sweet homeland of Salazore every tuna smelling day!  Rejoice faggots!

When Enrico first step foot onto Amerikan soil in year of 252 (1986 to you faggots), Lucille Ball say to him (she and me had on again off again sausage party for over 30 year... her speaking voice sound like Lambchop puppeto before Enrico come to call, yes.) that he would be disgust influence on Amerikan people and country, and slowly it turn into Salazore, as if by osmondis.  Is truly beautiful, it bring tear to Enrico's glass eye.

So, question is... when Enrico can start roll razorwire onto beach?




Yours truly,

in good times and hairy,

your friend,

still waterproof after all these years,

Enrico.

Mmm, this thread make Enrico hungry.

How is circumcision done in Salizor, pappi?

Usually with garlic butter.

Mmm, this thread make Enrico hungry.

Enrico is terrible person.  In fact it was Enrico's momo's first words to him.  "Enrico, you is terrible person."  He hope it will be epitaph on tomb some day far far in future when Enrico die for final time.  Will be a Tuesday, momo say that also and as well.

Is pleasure to meet you.