The real bitch about being a broke, friendless, atheistic Scrooge at Christmas time is when you see the perfect Crimbo gift for someone you don't actually know, and who almost certainly wouldn't be comfortable receiving a gift from you, you are totally buggered. UNLESS you are a Peedee faghag in which case you know just what to do . So here ya go Cain, here's a little something for you
http://www.philosophyfootball.com/offers/