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Messages - Suu (parody account)

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1
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: December 02, 2022, 12:05:09 pm »
If anyone is on Hive, apparently you can edit other users posts.

They had a massive security breach as well. Not just editing other posts, everything was leaked, from every user.

Mastodon ain't perfect but I can see why more people are into the idea of decentralized servers.

2
Or Kill Me / Re: Who takes care of the caretaker?
« on: November 24, 2022, 01:50:41 am »
I had to google c.Diff.
I wish I hadn't.
God damnit.

The amount of bleach, accelerated hydrogen peroxide, and hypochlorous acid I have had to unleash upon my house in the last few days has made me sick.

I developed stress shits (I already have IBS) and decided I was dying of C.Diff, so I did what any fucked up anxious twat would do and that was go right for the probiotics and kombucha.

You do NOT take probiotics and slam 2 cans of kombucha in the same day. What I did to my colon was on par with what Cramulus did with oranges, only hella faster. I legit was ready to go to the ER for a test despite Mr. Suu telling me I did it to myself, I called Jeff, who was legit shitting himself at the hospital, and asked him if it burned, and he was like, "No, that's acid. That's the kombucha you idiot." So I caught a moment of reason and then called my MD friend who, confirmed, yes, you do not just swallow mass quantities of Lactobacillus Acidophilus to murder any potential Clostridium Difficile in a bacterial war of attrition. I've been told to lay off the probiotics for several days until shit (literally) normalizes and I can stop fire pooping.

The odds of me getting c. Diff from Jeff are actually pretty low. I wash my hands CONSTANTLY as it is thanks to years of working in food and bev, and that is the number one way it's passed. All the bleach in the world will kill it on hard surfaces but if you don't wash your hands, it doesn't matter. I probably do have some in me, most people do, it's how gut bacteria works, but my biome is allegedly healthy. Well, as healthy as it can get considering the tea vinegar bomb I just unleashed on it.

He will probably be colonized with this bad bacteria for months, now. They didn't give him antibiotics because he created antibodies to the toxins and appears to have beaten it, which is better, it has less of a chance of reoccurrence. Still, 1 in 5 will get it again, so I'm gearing up for explosive shits round 2 next month.

Your gut microbiome is fucking terrifying. Do not, DO NOT, fuck with it if you can. One tip in the wrong direction and you get either fire shits and scorch your sphincter with too much Lactobacillius like me, or, you will just literally shit yourself into sepsis with c.Diff. There is no happy medium, only the former won't kill you.

3
Or Kill Me / Re: Who takes care of the caretaker?
« on: November 22, 2022, 10:43:42 pm »
Shit just keeps getting more fucked up.

This time it is/was c.Diff. (He managed to beat it without antibiotics.)

Fuck. My. Life.

4
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: November 11, 2022, 12:22:20 am »
Banned from Facebook again.

This time? The algorithms assuming I'm suicidal and when I refused help, they locked down my account. It's amazing I still have one at this point.
My immediate reaction was "That makes no sense.  Cutting a suicidal person off from social contact would be about the worst thing they could do."

My second reaction was "Maybe someone or something decided that having suicidal people present on the platform reduces profits.  Of course it's not about preserving life. It's about the benjamins."

Then again, I'm assuming the algorithms are actually functioning to achieve some defined purpose*.  Maybe it's all chaos, and facebook is only surviving due to inertia.

*Cue audience laughter

So it let me back on. My guess is that it was a serious glitch, but that's...uncool.

5
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: November 10, 2022, 07:50:42 pm »
Banned from Facebook again.

This time? The algorithms assuming I'm suicidal and when I refused help, they locked down my account. It's amazing I still have one at this point.

6
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: November 10, 2022, 03:45:28 am »
Nobody in Florida asked for another hurricane, we asked for DeSantis to disappear.

7
Inflation couldn't possibly be a result of global mismanagement of a pandemic resulting in massive supply chain disruption, or anything. No, the people in charge did it on purpose to stick it to the poor.

8
What on Earth makes him think the GOP will get prices under control?

Well you see, conservatives in countries like England have had great success in reigning in inflation, unlike Sleepy Joe.

Because it's definitely a personal failing on the part of the US President that is driving global inflation, and not wider systemic issues.

UK: *burns through PMs like underwear at a jack shack*

American Conservatives: They're so inspirational.

9
What on Earth makes him think the GOP will get prices under control?

He's a defense contractor, why wouldn't he?

10
I just told my dad I have $1000 down that more people are concerned about inflation than human rights. This is what both of my parents told me:

"Look we don't like the GOP but if we can get prices under control then we can focus on things like rights next election."

Cool. On that note, we're about to witness the last free election of this version of our nation before Germany bombs us into the 21st Century, so I've started the process of emigrating to New Zealand.

11
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: November 07, 2022, 01:11:06 am »
I just admitted Eldora back to the board (someone tell LMNO), because it should be good for a few mean laughs.  If any mod/admin has reservations, feel free to re-ban her.  I was just hoping to offload some bile.

Also, Tentastical also tried to reg again, without really bothering to hide it much.  He got rebanned, because he's a stalking cunt and can't be trusted with nice things.  Or even not so nice things, like this joint.

Which is of course the worst forum on the internet, even after its death.

HERE FOR THIS FUCKERY.

off to tell LMNO!

12
Or Kill Me / Re: Rant 115: Certain...
« on: November 07, 2022, 01:03:31 am »
Do appreciate blast from past. 10/10 will scream again.

13
Or Kill Me / Re: Who takes care of the caretaker?
« on: November 01, 2022, 01:26:26 pm »
Mr back in the hospital yesterday for an endoscopy gone awry.

Brother-in-law hospitalized because blood pressure like Vesuvius.

I am tired.

14
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: October 30, 2022, 12:12:50 pm »
So the new member "sosoclever" is the first friend I made when I moved to the USA, 43 years ago.  She's a hoot.

She dropped by to tell me that some bastard regged as Howl/Tarwell on FB.

If you see me there, it's not me.

I wonder who it is, then. Other than some idiot scammer who is attempting to knock off the older Sam Tarwell account. Both of them seem gone to me.

15
Or Kill Me / Re: Who takes care of the caretaker?
« on: October 27, 2022, 01:02:04 pm »
My mom is continuing her, "But you live so far awaaaaaay" bullshit after offering to come over and give Jeff whatever he wants. I have to drive over there to get a wheelchair today for him.

It's 45-50min away. Not the next state over.

I really need help this weekend giving me some time to go to my office and knuckle down on my own projects for school, so I told Jeff to call my mom and ask on his behalf, not mine. It's clear she likes him more than me anyway.

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