Topics

Much the same way you implant "not mine, I swear!" into your neighbor's wife's ovum, Our Lady of Discord^tm  has implanted divine words of wisdom within the pages of the Principia Discordia. I've decided to start a project that seeks to perform the abortion.

If you'd like to play with synchronicity and inseminate meaning into the fertile womb of triviality, feel free to join in. I encourage you to use whatever techniques and tools are at your disposal. Everything from good ol' fashion Gematria to the Equidistant Letter Sequence method is up for grabs... not to mention recreational drugs.

I will share (and you should too) the various programs/scripts I write along the way. Let's face it, I'm lazy. I'm not skipping letters myself!

I suggest the following for inspiration:
* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isopsephia
* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gematria
* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_numerals
* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_alphabet#Letter_names (use Ancient Greek correspondences)
* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Midrash
* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bible_code
* http://www.hoax-slayer.com/cathedral-spaceman-carving.shtml

I have difficulty sleeping most nights and an even harder time waking up. Sleeping pills don't work and alcohol on its own doesn't allow for restful sleep. So I came up with this (somewhat obvious) recipe to promote good sleep and alcoholism:

• Sex
• Whiskey
• Melatonin

It's simple! I traded over an hour of tossing and turning for a few minutes of laying there relaxed...

Of course, if your mom isn't available, I generally go with just the whiskey and melatonin.

I bought this domain awhile back. I'm trying to figure out what to do with it. At the moment I am just using it for email addresses...

Any ideas?

Yep, 8 more.

Which do you guys prefer, "hanged, drawn and quartered" or "feathered and tarred?"

I'll get my estate in order.

I just stumbled across a horrid sight. Yes, this is your opportunity to connect the subject to this statement and flee... or mock it without reading the rest.

Still with me? What a pity.

Next to suspiciously warm toilet seats and sticky floors, there are few things that are crappier than going to use a toilet and discovering that it's filled with shit. The bastard didn't flush.

However, there was something else that bastard didn't do.

In this fecalated toilet... there was... no toilet paper.

There is someone at work walking around in plain sight with pants full of shit stains.

Every male I see is now suspect. I'm not sure if in my paranoia I'll ever see a coworker the same way.

I share this with you, because I didn't want to suffer alone.

Insight through translation.

1. Chose a question
2. Chose at least two languages
3. Enter the question in an online translating tool
4. Switch between chosen languages.
5. Continue until a definition has converged to a single translation or pattern

A website I came across (http://translationparty.com/) actually does this process for you with English+Japanese, though you can certainly do it by hand (additional enlightenment points!). It becomes a trippy session of the Socratic method.

Trails:

* What is chaos?
* What are you confused? <final>

This points out that questions like "what is chaos?" indicates confusion on the behalf of the asker.

Here's another...

* Is there a God?
* What Is God? (What are you actually asking here?)
* What is God like? (You sure he's worth knowing about?)
* Or you like God? (Do you even like that Bastard? Brush up on the history of his "Chosen People" and ask again later...)

Feel free to employ Midrash. The index of each answer is important to interpreting its meaning.

As the Principia Discordia teaches us, all materials are built of the 5 elements; boom, prickle, orange, pungent, and sweet. In the 1300s (Or the 3rd century of the CE, if you follow that silly joke calendar), Demoraticus, in his Mystica et Discordia, expounded upon the implications of this fact. He theorized that, since all materials consist of these basic building blocks, you can, given the right quantities and processes, make anything you damn well please. Being the greedy fuck that he was, he set out to turn lead into gold.

He achieved a half success. To him what started out to be lead sounded, felt, looked, smelled, and tasted like gold. However, when he went to cash in the fruits of his "Great Work" (he was kind of full of himself and insisted that it so be called and capitalized) he discovered that no one else heard, felt, saw, smelled, or tasted what he did. And they thought he was kind of a douche bag. He later went crazy... possibly because of lead poisoning.