Topics

46

Literate Chaotic / Any Hackers?

« on: November 05, 2013, 08:36:34 pm »

I'm working on a story at the moment which includes a minor character who is a "hacker" (for lack of a better word)... problem is, I'm not so computer savvy.  I know we have some people on the board who are knowledgable with matters such as this, and was wondering if anyone wanted to volunteer to allow me to PM them occasionally with a search for a proper word or method on this topic?

47

Apple Talk / We Were Doing the Chimps a Disservice

« on: October 31, 2013, 08:45:28 pm »

Study conducted on chimps and children... chimps think for themselves, more often than not, whereas human children follow the rules like good little soldiers:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIAoJsS9Ix8

48

Apple Talk / Scroll Down To Riker

« on: October 30, 2013, 03:58:54 pm »

http://scrolldowntoriker.com

49

Apple Talk / Help Hoopla Define His Feelings

« on: October 26, 2013, 01:25:09 am »

So, I'm at a bar right now... Why I'm posting at a bar will soon become evident... There is a one man band on stage right now and he is pretty damn bad. I mean, don't get me wrong, he can "technically" play the instruments he's playing (all at once, mind you) but they don't sound "good".

Now here's the thing... I sort of love him. I don't know what it is. I'm not ironically liking him because he's bad, though it may sound like that.

There's a gusto to being able to get up in front of a crowd and show your naked ass, but it's not that either. Or not exactly. It's something about how goddam human it all is... Also, keep in mind, yes, I've been drinking, but I also don't think it's THAT. I've felt this way before stone sober.

I realize simply saying "the music is bad" doesn't describe it much, but this thread isn't as much about how awful he is, so much as me soliciting opinions of why I sort of love him and hate him at the  same moment.

If none of this made sense, I apologize. Happy Friday night, folks!

50

Apple Talk / Dating For Dinner

« on: October 25, 2013, 03:46:34 pm »

So there's this young lady in Toronto who is dating guys just to eat in nice places, and writes a blog about it: hxxp://restauranttipsfromaserialdater.tumblr.com

I'm torn between being disgusted by her cruel manipulation of strangers, and being bowled over by such an obvious, yet genius, idea. 

Surely she can't be the only person doing this, but how many advertise it?  Her face is ALL over that blog, so she's not exactly hiding... and in one of the posts she admits to getting busted by a guy who knew she was talking about him online.  People in town are foaming at the mouth...

Thoughts?

51

Or Kill Me / I R STOOPID

« on: May 01, 2013, 07:46:10 pm »

The following lines will come as absolutely no surprise to anyone on this board who is familiar with either me, or my "antics"...  but here it is anyway, naked and ugly:



You know how people say “stupid people never realize they’re stupid”?

 (People do say that, don’t they?  I didn’t just make that up, did I?)

Well, I realized today that I am stupid.  Perhaps not stupider than everyone, I like to think I’ve got one up on George W Bush, perhaps… but then he was the President of a large major country, while I spend my time creating pithy tweets, occasionally creating idiotic humor reviews of bad movies, and arguing with people through a computer monitor then becoming huffy over the results and eating an entire box of Ritz crackers. 

I know things, but don’t put them together well; I hear people speak and take a completely different meaning than most other people do; My opinions are either embarrassingly homogenous or flagrantly inappropriate; I quite possibly use semicolons incorrectly.

Ladies and gentleman, my name is Hoopla and I am dumb.

But, is realizing this a step in the right direction?

52

Apple Talk / Toronto Fires Its Mayor

« on: November 29, 2012, 04:41:24 pm »

Any mods on, can you delete this thread? I tried but it wouldn't let me... I seriously doubt anyone cares about Toronto's mayor and this is just taking up server space.

53

Principia Discussion / Planet Eris Trope

« on: November 23, 2012, 06:23:54 pm »

Eris is used as shorthand for crazy in this entry of TV Tropes:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PlanetEris

From the intro:

Look up the The Iliad (especially the Judgement of Paris scene) for one of her most famous roles therein, you know the Original Snub and 'For the Fairest' and the Golden Apple Corps.

Yeah, have fun looking for that "Judgement of Paris scene" in the Illiad, boys! 

54

Apple Talk / INTEROFFICE MEMO: attn Mangrove

« on: November 19, 2012, 05:31:46 pm »

4661:BYOB63:44
November 21(?) 2012


SSOOKN Interoffice Memo

TO:  MANGROVE
       SSOOKN Chief Clinical Sub-Director of Directions

CC:  LMNO
       SSOOKN System Operating Director

FROM:  HOOPLA
           SSOOKN Institute of Apathy


SUBJECT:  Operations Status Update



I made the date listed above up, I've long since ceased caring how the official Discordian Dating System works, if you think I even bothered to look at the SSOOKN manual, well, your optimism amuses me. 

Did I make it clear on my admission interview that irony annoyed me?  I think I did.  As the head of the Institute of Apathy it was my understanding that my duties would be minimal; this has been far from the case - particularly as of late.  As you are well aware, the Apathy Institute was flooded with a sea of young women this past summer after the news of the scandal between Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattison reached its high-water mark - if I hadn't been tossing each application into a folder I never planned to look at ever again I'm really not certain how I would have kept up with the influx.  It took me weeks to ignore the Clearasil in the carpet enough to be able to get back to my regular shiftlessness and general ennui - unacceptable, as you can well imagine.  Well further imagine this: just as things were returning to their former state of inaction and listlessness, this brou-ha-ha between Disney and George Lucas erupts. Jesus hopped-up Christ on a unicycle.  Fortunately I thought to lock the doors before those hoards came banging on the doors - and now this TWINKIE NONSENSE?  Mangrove, I need more men.  Or women.  Or children.  Or seeing eye ponies, I don't give a shit, but I cannot handle all this apathy on my own - I don't care enough.

PLEASE SEND REINFORCEMENTS BEFORE DECEMBER 21 2012 DOESN'T HAPPEN.  People will snap.  I am not shitting you.

-HOOPLA
SSOOKN Institute of Apathy

55

Apple Talk / Mental Health Question

« on: October 22, 2012, 02:03:34 pm »

Really not sure if Apple Talk is the preferred area for a thread of this sort, but I'm not sure where else to put it, so I'm plopping it down here.

Not hooting for attention, just a bit concerned and want to feel out opinions from people who I like and trust and yet are slightly anonymous to me... questions like this to people too close can have... consequences I would rather not deal with if this is nothing.

I've had a few episodes lately, which I described to my wife as panic attacks, but I'm not entirely sure if that's what they are.  I've had three in the last month and  a half or so... a feeling of intense disconnect from the rest of the world, and also a feeling of assurances that everyone else is feeling the disconnect.  Nobody really knows anyone else and everything is hollow artifice... accompanying this feeling of disconnect is an intensely visceral feeling of falling apart.  Or maybe just falling.  I often have to grip something tightly and twist or shred it while these (admittedly brief, thank christ, usually no longer than 5-ish minutes) episodes occur, so I don't feel like I am falling, falling apart, or maybe dying.  There is also a feeling of nausea which accompanies, but its in the background of everything else.

OK, so those things... that's been about a month and a half...

But I've been recently realizing that I have enormous difficulty enjoying ANYthing in the moment.  I can enjoy the memory afterwards, but while things are occurring I am just waiting for it to be over, even if its something that should be fun for me.  THIS has been going on for years, I think... at least as far back as 2007.

So, I'm looking for opinions here, are these things everyone goes through but nobody talks about it?  Or are these signs of mental illness?

Any thoughts are very much appreciated.

Also, hi... I was away for a few weeks.

56

Apple Talk / So... Vegetarians...

« on: September 12, 2012, 06:22:24 pm »

I'm sure most of you have heard that some scientists are attempting to create meat which has never been sawed off a living animal.  I'm also sure most of you are aware that Tumblr and other pockets of the internet are the resting spot of rabid vegetarians and vegans... so, this news finally hit them.  I don't have screen caps at the moment, but the general sentiment among them all seems to be that this is the worst bit of science since the atom bomb, it's Frankenscience (which, admittedly, it is), it's unethical, it's evil, blah blah blah...

Whiskey.  Tango.  Foxtrot.

Scientifically created meat should be the answer to all their issues, except perhaps the issue of the healthiness of consuming red meat - which I am dubious about, but that's a separate issue - or is it?  ANYway... am I getting raged over nothing?  Are they right?  Is this stupid? HUH??

57

Apple Talk / Question about A Cracker Reviewing Blaxploitation

« on: August 08, 2012, 05:44:44 pm »

So, as some may know I've taken to making fun of shitty movies online in my spare time...

A friend was asking yesterday which movies I had planned to "review" next, I named about three I was juggling around and one of them happened to be 'Coffy' starring Pam Grier from 1973, which I happen to love.  He googled it, since he hadn't seen it (I know, I know), then answered back with:

"Blaxploitation may be a tricksy subject though." 

I was a little surprised.

I mean, on one hand I know a lot about the genre... how it started, what the views of the genre were both contemporarily and modern alike, and certainly wasn't about to let the genre off the hook - I mean, flat out, after the initial film in what would be the genre ("Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song", which was written directed and starred Melvin Van Peebles) was released and confirmed that black audiences were interested in watching movies about empowered militant black protagonists, and would pay good money to do so, White Hollywood jumped on the genre before it could even begin, taking over the writing and producing in almost all cases, and filling theses shitty films with incendiary titles like "Blacula", "Blackenstein", "Dr Black and Mr White" and shit like "Boss Nigger". 

But, on the other hand... I am clearly a honkie-ass motherfucker who wasn't even born in 1973.  I mean, other than Ann Coulter, nobody is whiter than me.  I don't tan, I combust.

So..... the question I lay in the laps of the collective PD.com audience is... have I any right to review this movie and make fun of it?  And if I do, do I admit I love it?


Yours,

HOOPLA

58

Bring and Brag / Reviews... Bottom of the Barrel reviews...

« on: July 06, 2012, 02:28:51 pm »

I used to make videos, as some around here might remember, but I found I quickly ran out of things to say.  I'm not the type to have an endless amount of topics to rant about, like Roger; I'm also not the type to repeat the same shit over and over using different buzzwords, like Hugh.  Am I dating myself here?

Anyway, one thing I've always had a lot to say about, since a early age, was movies.... so recently I had been chewing on the idea of doing something NOBODY else on the interwebs had done... review bad movies online.

Here was my first go:

http://blip.tv/rexbologna/rex-bologna-reviews-gangs-of-the-dead-6239277

If you enjoy, possibly consider sending the link to anyone else you think may like this sort of thing... if you don't enjoy let me know here.  Or there.  If you are indifferent, try to get out more, breath air and talk to people... the malaise will pass.  Unless you are clinically depressed, in which case this just got uncomfortable rather swiftly.  I'll tip-toe out now.

59

Apple Talk / The "Working From Home" Diaries

« on: May 28, 2012, 06:25:23 pm »

DAY 212


In the beginning, people almost always said "I couldn't do that, I would never get anything accomplished", meaning that they could not work from home.  This, of course, tells you everything you need to know about that person.  Well, perhaps not everything.  It doesn't tell you what color their pubic hair is: their eyebrows do that.  Where was I?  Right, people seem to believe if given the chance to slack off indefinitely, they will.  Makes sense, though... nature is inherently lazy.  You don't see rivers running uphill or bubbles shaped like cubes, do you?  Laziness is the Wu Wei.

I got the work done just fine, thank you very much; still do, mostly.  It's just porn, so there isn't much to it.  It's sort of embarrassing to call it "work", actually, though I suppose I do have to sit in a chair and move muscles now and then, that's close to the definition of work isn't it?

The work isn't the problem.  This house is.  You never notice the presence until you spend most of your waking hours here.  Sleeping hours too.  The house knows things about me.  It knows the color of my pubic hair, when I had pubic hair.  Long story.  It knows other things though too... it knows all the filthy things I do when I'm not working, which is becoming more and more often.  Or is it?  The work seems to get done... and yet I find myself spending more and more time googling the word "google".  I don't think that word means anything.  Why is that frightening?

When you work from home, nobody can hear you scream.  Except the mail lady... if you time it properly. 

60

Apple Talk / OMG sexiest thing I EVAR saw!

« on: December 09, 2011, 02:16:47 pm »

http://tinyurl.com/85n2onr