Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Discordian Recipes => Topic started by: Dysnomia on November 27, 2008, 12:30:03 AM

Title: TOFU
Post by: Dysnomia on November 27, 2008, 12:30:03 AM
How do I make it without 1-making it slimy, or 2-making it curdle like that shit from panda express.  I want to start experimenting with tofu dishes in our wok.
Title: Re: TOFU
Post by: Kai on November 27, 2008, 12:33:00 AM
Skip tofu and use real food?
Title: Re: TOFU
Post by: Dysnomia on November 27, 2008, 12:37:14 AM
I like tofu when it's done right   :p
Title: Re: TOFU
Post by: Jenne on November 27, 2008, 12:43:47 AM
We always bought firm when we used it (we haven't a WHILE, for some reason), and we cubed it and sauteed it.  I don't remember that it was bad this way, in fact, it was tasty enough.

Can't say I have a huge crush on it or anything.
Title: Re: TOFU
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 27, 2008, 01:30:44 AM
Cube it, toss it lightly in flour, and fry it in oil until golden. Add sauce.

OR, crumble it in hot oil with a bit of flour, onion, garlic, cook until kind of dry and crumbly, serve where ground beef is called for.

OR, saute with soy sauce, garlic, sesame oil, hot chili oil, and a touch of rice wine vinegar. Eat, yum!
Title: Re: TOFU
Post by: Dysnomia on November 27, 2008, 03:12:29 AM
YUM!  I could put it in noodles with some veggies.
Title: Re: TOFU
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on November 27, 2008, 08:34:24 AM
open container
pour contents into garbage receptacle
add flame
enjoy light show
purchase takeout
Title: Re: TOFU
Post by: Dysnomia on November 28, 2008, 03:51:57 AM
Quote from: Squid-diddle on November 27, 2008, 08:34:24 AM
open container
pour contents into garbage receptacle
add flame
enjoy light show
purchase takeout

:lulz:
Title: Re: TOFU
Post by: East Coast Hustle on December 01, 2008, 03:15:41 PM
Quote from: Pope Dysnomia on November 27, 2008, 12:37:14 AM
I like tofu when it's done right   :p

"done right" in this context = "thrown in the trash before it can be consumed by innocent humans".
Title: Re: TOFU
Post by: AFK on December 01, 2008, 03:20:58 PM
To me, TOFU seems like the vegetarians' answer to Spam. 
Title: Re: TOFU
Post by: Eve on December 01, 2008, 03:25:43 PM
Nah. Spam is NEVER okay; tofu can be good, when properly prepared and served with something good.

In college, the dining hall liked to offer cubed tofu with white rice. :( Not the way to eat tofu.
Title: Re: TOFU
Post by: Manta Obscura on December 01, 2008, 03:27:44 PM
Tofu is only good when it is

A) Fried to a texture at which it no longer tastes like tofu, or

B) Chopped up in egg salad sandwiches and masked by the taste of eggs, mayo and green onions.
Title: Re: TOFU
Post by: megatron on December 01, 2008, 09:58:02 PM
Do you drain and freeze it before cooking? It makes the texture a lot more palatable.
Title: Re: TOFU
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on December 01, 2008, 10:01:24 PM
Tortoiseshell tofu: http://www.foodrecipesforum.com/2008/03/18/tortoiseshell-tofu-Recipe/

Not sure if this is the same recipe my dad once made, but it had the same name and so far it's the only way I've actually enjoyed tofu.
Title: Re: TOFU
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on December 01, 2008, 10:18:31 PM
Unless it's hiding in the miso soup, trying not to get in the way of good miso... it should not be used.

Unless its HuFu... then it should be sauteed over an open fire, while making cannibalistic chanting noises.
Title: Re: TOFU
Post by: Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on December 03, 2008, 06:34:33 AM
lizzie if you go to grocery store, they sell "tofu chicken strips" which are just like stir-fry sized chunks of tofu that have been textured and flavoured similar to chicken and you can make delicious foods with them
i had tofu enchiladas made outta that last night, vry tasty
Title: Re: TOFU
Post by: Sepia on December 03, 2008, 09:33:52 AM
Marinate thumbsized chunks of tofu (frozen and then pressed for liquid) in 1 part kecap manis (sweet soy sauce) and 3 parts coconut cream over night. For each chunk of tofu take half a strip of bacon and cover each chunk of tofu with it, skewer with a toothpick if needed. Fry these on low temp on each side untill done the way you like your bacon.


When I do these, I usually make up a nice portion I can reheat and use for lunch or whatever strikes my fancy as these are quite cheap to make and taste decently and aren't the most unhealthy thing you can put in your tummy. Best used with a salad:

Fresh cilantro, finely chopped
Salad, 1-2 different types
Tomaters (whatever kind you can get hold of that isn't rockhard and feels like a cannonball)
Shallot/beetroot brunoise

Toss, add some nice oil, eat.
Title: Re: TOFU
Post by: Dysnomia on December 06, 2008, 04:58:23 PM
Quote from: Frederieke Noodle on December 03, 2008, 06:34:33 AM
lizzie if you go to grocery store, they sell "tofu chicken strips" which are just like stir-fry sized chunks of tofu that have been textured and flavoured similar to chicken and you can make delicious foods with them
i had tofu enchiladas made outta that last night, vry tasty

they have some nomy breaded ones at trader joe's that I could throw in the oven, and put on a sammie with marinara sauce, and mozzarella. 
Title: Re: TOFU
Post by: Manta Obscura on December 08, 2008, 02:56:57 PM
I found this recently, and thought it might be relevant to this thread:

(http://i473.photobucket.com/albums/rr100/Manta_Obscura/TOFU.jpg)


So true.