Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Or Kill Me => Topic started by: Enrico Salazar on October 27, 2005, 04:40:28 PM

Title: How It Will Happen
Post by: Enrico Salazar on October 27, 2005, 04:40:28 PM
While Enrico was bent over last night, clipping toenails, it came.  The fantastic vision he had been waiting his entire life for.  The way to take over.  Get back what was Enrico's.  What will be Enrico's again.

Let Enrico paint a visual picture for all you beautiful faggots.

It begins with the national bird of Salazore;  the Ostrich.  We don't actually have any Ostriches on Salazore, but then again we don't have any birds at all, other than turkey vultures, and they don't make a very nice image on a postage stamp, so the ostrich was adopted.  It begins with Ostriches.

The second ingredient is over-the-top transvestites.  Or drag queens, if you prefer that term.  On Salazore they were called Brujadellos, and every boy lost his bip-bip to one.  Enrico lost his to five of them.  What a night.  Anyway.  The second ingredient is Brujadellos, and lots of them.  

The third ingredient is pump-action shotguns.  One for each transvestite.  Enrico will, of course, be holding his own beauty of a weapon, a Sturmgewehr 44 named Skippy he has had since he grew moss on his rolling stones.  

Imagine.  Imagine thousands of transvestites, mounted on Ostrich-back, storming into each major city.  Imagine.  Imagine the frozen citizens, staring at the twisted beauty of these animals.  Imagine.  Imagine, if you will, the carnage when each gun is opened up.  Imagine the confusion.  Imagine the disorder.  Imagine the possibilities.

As the madness reaches a frenzy Enrico strides in on his Ostrich, decked in full Salazorian military regalia; dripping from gherri-curl to curly-haired toes in flags, pins, buttons, and diamonds.  Mirror sunglasses, vaseline on mustachio, sneer on lips.  Arms raised into the air.  Cheers, jeers, queers.  Everything Enrico loves.  It's enough to make a faggot break down in giggling sniffly sobs.

It will be goddam beautiful, my fuckers.  It will be fantastic, my mofos.  And, you will all be welcome in Salazore when the fighting is over, Enrico is back on his fold-up chair and people are done kicking and gouging in the mud, the blood, and the beer.
Title: How It Will Happen
Post by: B_M_W on October 27, 2005, 04:43:21 PM
RAH!
Title: How It Will Happen
Post by: Bella on October 27, 2005, 04:49:11 PM
::wonders if Enrico's new cabinet will need an official oracle::
Title: How It Will Happen
Post by: Enrico Salazar on October 27, 2005, 04:50:14 PM
There is ALWAYS room in Enrico's cabinet for S.s.s.s.s.B.e.l.l.a
Title: How It Will Happen
Post by: LMNO on October 27, 2005, 04:52:51 PM
w00t!

(http://hometown.aol.com/roses4ana3/myhomepage/frank-n-furter.jpg)

Plus

(http://janoelofsesafaris.com/images/update11-01/ostrich.jpg)

Plus

(http://www.aceltdusa.com/images04/shotgun/MossM4.jpg)


For the win!
Title: How It Will Happen
Post by: East Coast Hustle on October 27, 2005, 07:02:28 PM
forgive me for straying, but I'm just wondering...

do ostriches count as poultry?

8)
Title: How It Will Happen
Post by: LMNO on October 27, 2005, 07:06:29 PM
It depends.

poultry
n.
Domestic fowls, such as chickens, turkeys, ducks, or geese, raised for meat or eggs.
Title: How It Will Happen
Post by: Enrico Salazar on October 27, 2005, 07:07:24 PM
They do have ostrich farms now.
Title: How It Will Happen
Post by: East Coast Hustle on October 27, 2005, 07:08:22 PM
8)
Title: How It Will Happen
Post by: LHX on October 27, 2005, 07:10:40 PM
Quote from: eroticIt depends.

poultry
n.
Domestic fowls, such as chickens, turkeys, ducks, or geese, raised for meat or eggs.

what about poetry?
Title: How It Will Happen
Post by: Mangrove on October 27, 2005, 07:26:00 PM
Quote from: Enrico SalazarThey do have ostrich farms now.


if my pop trivia is correct, the former 'terminator X' of public enemy fame ran an ostrich farm as a sideline to his usual record scratching duties.
Title: How It Will Happen
Post by: Enrico Salazar on October 27, 2005, 09:42:39 PM
Quote from: Pope T.Mangrove xvii
Quote from: Enrico SalazarThey do have ostrich farms now.


if my pop trivia is correct, the former 'terminator X' of public enemy fame ran an ostrich farm as a sideline to his usual record scratching duties.

Then he is who Enrico will go to.  He must have a connection of some sort.
Title: How It Will Happen
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on October 27, 2005, 09:45:07 PM
Quote from: eroticw00t!

(http://hometown.aol.com/roses4ana3/myhomepage/frank-n-furter.jpg)

Plus

(http://janoelofsesafaris.com/images/update11-01/ostrich.jpg)

Plus

(http://www.aceltdusa.com/images04/shotgun/MossM4.jpg)


For the win!

This is the correct set of cabinet members.
Title: Re: How It Will Happen
Post by: Enrico Salazar on March 31, 2008, 08:26:58 PM
Is bump for Jenne.
Title: Re: How It Will Happen
Post by: LMNO on March 31, 2008, 08:38:44 PM
Is glorious faggorty.
Title: Re: How It Will Happen
Post by: Reginald Ret on March 31, 2008, 10:19:26 PM
Can we eat the ostriches after you take over enrico? they have such tasty meat.
Title: Re: How It Will Happen
Post by: Enrico Salazar on April 01, 2008, 02:32:22 AM
No.

Is Blasphemy.
Title: Re: How It Will Happen
Post by: Reginald Ret on May 06, 2008, 04:49:09 PM
So?

Blasphemy is mental ketchup.
Title: Re: How It Will Happen
Post by: hooplala on May 06, 2008, 05:02:41 PM
Quote from: Regret on May 06, 2008, 04:49:09 PM
Blasphemy is mental ketchup.

This should go in the news feed.