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They'd built a house of straw. The thundering machines sputtered and stopped. Their leaders talked and talked and talked. But nothing could stem the avalanche. Their world crumbled. The cities exploded. A whirlwind of looting, a firestorm of fear. Men began to feed on men.

On the roads it was a white line nightmare. Only those mobile enough to scavenge, brutal enough to pillage would survive. The gangs took over the highways, ready to wage war for a tank of slurp juice. And in this maelstrom of decay, ordinary men were battered and smashed.

Except for one man armed with an AK-47, and a Honda full of tulip bulbs.
Only Maybe Arts Lab / Re: WEIRDOVERSE
« Last post by Bobby Campbell on Yesterday at 01:52:09 pm »
This is one of your best.

So very much appreciated! I really wasn't sure how well this would come across.
Thanks for the reassurance  :fnord: :fnord: :fnord:
Apple Talk / Re: Spagbook
« Last post by altered on June 26, 2022, 10:04:08 pm »
I have gotten both Fat and Hot As Fuck, and I drive all the transbians and lesboys wild now. Also, I have the coolest pendant ever (because I'm a huge edgy nerd and I love Quake 1).

Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Last post by Anna Mae Bollocks on June 26, 2022, 09:41:26 pm »
Flying dogs would be a nice addition. Not that they're necessary. It's just that in these situations, excess is FUN.

Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Last post by Junkenstein on June 26, 2022, 09:21:26 pm »
If there is no siren or fireman pole involved you're really not squandering that budget hard enough.
Only Maybe Arts Lab / Re: WEIRDOVERSE
« Last post by Doktor Howl on June 26, 2022, 07:09:31 am »
This is one of your best.
Only Maybe Arts Lab / BUDDHAFART - EP. 15 “TMI”
« Last post by Bobby Campbell on June 24, 2022, 03:10:38 am »

BUDDHAFART – The story so far…
By Bobby Campbell & Todd Purse

Propaganda Depository / Re: ESP in One Month practice
« Last post by Doktor Howl on June 24, 2022, 03:01:05 am »
There is only one Hirley0.

Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Last post by Doktor Howl on June 23, 2022, 12:26:39 am »
The ruckus at work today:

So imagine you're a 40 something private security guard who peaked in the Navy in 2000 or so, and you don't really think about the 20+ years of hamburgers between then and now.  And there's this hot new girl up in the <agency> office, fresh out of college.
So you find an excuse to go chat her up.

She doesn't seem to be receiving the message you're sending, and asks you to leave her office.  Heh.  Playing hard to get.  Keep chatting.
But there's a couple of things you didn't know.

1.  Her boss thoughtfully installed a panic button at everyone's desk.

2.  The panic button doesn't go to your clown coworkers.  No.  It goes somewhere else entirely.

And when you look up and down the hallway, there's Hamish coming from one direction, with a US Marshal behind him.

And the other direction has Sideways Dave, dancing to music only he can hear coming the other way.  700 pounds of angry humans are coming to explain to you, in terms you will understand, the error of your ways.

Fade to black.
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« Last post by Doktor Howl on June 22, 2022, 04:57:05 pm »

Quite honestly I cannot tel if this is fiction or whether you really did all this.

I would call that alone a true win.

I do a lot of stupid shit these days.

That should be written on a sign posted outside Earth

Add "We didn't ask for your help, alien swine.  Get fucked.  Sincerely, The Primates."
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