Messages

Ah, now I understand.

Phew, you had me worried there for a minute...

I call 'not it'!

Gehosephat my good man!  Didn't you know my nursmaid was from W. Sussex.  Never trust a Belgian with a new born baby!

What?  West Sussex isn't in Belgium, it's just south of London. Commander, I'm worried that the surgeon may have gotten your brain in the wrong way round after your last operation; you aren't making sense.

Anyway, isn't the Belgian accent more of a French/Dutch mix?  Like Jean-Claude Van Damme - he's Belgian.

No no! The Commander's not cleared for that file, and we're trying to keep from having to perform brain surgery on him as much as possible.  He's already gone a bit... erm, vague.

Anyway, Commander, it's because dragons are above your security clearance.

Belgian??  Why have you got that Limey accent, then?

Yes, Commander.  Sub-level 12, below the misfortune cookie factory.

To be frank, I know little of the current political situation.  Mainly I get my news from Comedy Central's 'The Daily Show', and what with 'Futurama' being on at the same time, I now only watch it occasionally.

So, what is it that makes the one more evil than the other?

The next time you have a dream, look at your hands.

I've heard that before, as advice on achieving lucid dreaming.  In practice, it's hard to remember to do it, and I find it's better as a second step, to further ground yourself once lucidity has already been achieved.  

The best method I've found for a first step, is simply to ask yourself, as often as possible throughout the day, "Am I awake, or is this a dream?"  Look around you, take stock of your situation, and test yourself - by, say, attempting to change the color of a nearby object.  Eventually, it will be a dream, and once you realize it, you can take control.

It gets easier with practice, and can be a great tool for both magickal and mundane purposes.

Yes, that's why we don't try to send the parking permits by mail anymore.

At least Cheny speaks somewhat coherently.  Besides, the succession rules only go 10 deep, then something has to give ...

1.  He's also the most evil man in AMerican politics, at this time.

You forget Ashcroft.

[Normal]

Myself, I see the glass as "too big".

Normal, cultural: Me, but not you.

Normal, counter-cultural: You, but not me.

Sorry to dissapoint you, Trollax, but Andrew had little or nothing to do with Jeb. The people here in Florida are just that stupid.

UI have bad news for you...they're that stupid EVERYWHERE.

People are stupid everywhere, but Floridians, on the whole, break the curve.  I used to work for a telecommunications company that serviced 13 southern states, including Florida - I worked in a call center for people having problems with their internet.  More than 50% of our calls came from Florida.  When the majority of your population is elderly, and most of the rest are rednecks, you get a special brand of brainlessness that's hard to find anywhere else.

Speaking as a representative of the Discordian Intelligence Agency, this sounds like something what would fall under our auspices.  Since we don't (to my knowledge) have anyone working in that direction at the moment, I'll be happy to offer you the position.  You can pick up a parking permit at the front desk, and I think there's an empty office next to the Department of Redundancy Department.  I've registered you as Security Clearance 'Chutney', and we'll see about funding as soon as I can distract the Commander enough to grab a couple bills out of his mattress.

By the way, for security reasons, we'd appreciate it if further memoranda from your department were written in type that can't be seen from space.

Share and Enjoy,
--Riff
Karma Manager

that magic potion
bestows great enlightenment
the worm is my friend

Next: Canadian bacon.