Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Two vast and trunkless legs of stone => Topic started by: Doktor Howl on November 06, 2014, 04:26:40 PM

Title: If I have to hear ONE MORE BASTARD...
Post by: Doktor Howl on November 06, 2014, 04:26:40 PM
If I have to hear ONE MORE BASTARD breathlessly inform me that Christmas is stolen from the Celts or the Greeks or the fucking Norse or whatever like it's NEWS or like I should CARE, I will use that person as a field-expedient colostomy bag.

Shut up.  I don't care where Christmas came from, I hate it.
Title: Re: If I have to hear ONE MORE BASTARD...
Post by: EK WAFFLR on November 06, 2014, 05:02:06 PM
Marry me. Now.
Title: Re: If I have to hear ONE MORE BASTARD...
Post by: Doktor Howl on November 06, 2014, 05:15:03 PM
Quote from: Hello Waffles on November 06, 2014, 05:02:06 PM
Marry me. Now.

YOU'RE ON, YA BIG VIKING GALOOT, YOU!
Title: Re: If I have to hear ONE MORE BASTARD...
Post by: Ben Shapiro on November 06, 2014, 05:15:23 PM
Christmas was created by the jews to steal more money from Christians. It's in the bible.
Title: Re: If I have to hear ONE MORE BASTARD...
Post by: Roly Poly Oly-Garch on November 06, 2014, 05:38:06 PM
Quote from: Derrick Broze on November 06, 2014, 05:15:23 PM
Christmas was created by the jews to steal more money from Christians. It's in the bible.

That's all I learned from Zeitgeist.
Title: Re: If I have to hear ONE MORE BASTARD...
Post by: Suu on November 06, 2014, 09:44:19 PM
Thank you for being the Holy Man I needed in my thread.

Goddamnit.
Title: Re: If I have to hear ONE MORE BASTARD...
Post by: Doktor Howl on November 06, 2014, 10:19:06 PM
Quote from: The Suu on November 06, 2014, 09:44:19 PM
Thank you for being the Holy Man I needed in my thread.

Goddamnit.

I live to serve.
Title: Re: If I have to hear ONE MORE BASTARD...
Post by: Chelagoras The Boulder on November 07, 2014, 07:35:48 AM
Gawd, and the people who bemoan the fact that they can't spout Merry Christmas when halloween isnt even cold in the grave yet! I look fucking weird saying Happy Halloween on any day that isnt halloween, yet these assholes DEMAND their right to remind you two months out that Christmas is a thing, in case you forgot.
Title: Re: If I have to hear ONE MORE BASTARD...
Post by: Junkenstein on November 07, 2014, 08:00:52 AM
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on November 06, 2014, 05:38:06 PM
Quote from: Derrick Broze on November 06, 2014, 05:15:23 PM
Christmas was created by the jews to steal more money from Christians. It's in the bible.

That's all I learned from Zeitgeist.

:lulz:
Title: Re: If I have to hear ONE MORE BASTARD...
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on November 07, 2014, 11:15:51 AM
I fucking love christmas! There I said it. I love the two weeks off work and the giving/getting presents to/from people and the huge fucking banquet and the gallons of booze and the mountains of reefer and Kirsty MacColl and the Pogues.

I don't care who started it. Some prehistoric dickhead getting caught by the filth and literally banged up cos living gods can't crime worth a fuck or a bunch of other prehistoric wankers sacrificing virgins to the spirit of the harvest. Seriously - couldn't give a fuck and will happily reduce to a quivering vegetable anyone who can (another thing to love about christmas)

Christmas is Saturday Night2 and I'll puke neat Tequilla in the face of anyone who refuses to party.  :argh!:
Title: Re: If I have to hear ONE MORE BASTARD...
Post by: Cain on November 07, 2014, 11:23:00 AM
Modern Americans stole beer from ancient Mesopotamia.

It's almost like culture is some kind of open ended process of appropriation and adaptation where authenticity "doesn't real", as the kids say.

But nah.  Now stop listening to rock and roll, twerking and voting.  You horrible culture thieves.
Title: Re: If I have to hear ONE MORE BASTARD...
Post by: LMNO on November 07, 2014, 12:14:21 PM
Out of the way, old-timer.

It's all about THE NAE NAE!

(http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2014-03/enhanced/webdr08/24/16/anigif_enhanced-27835-1395691491-17.gif)
Title: Re: If I have to hear ONE MORE BASTARD...
Post by: Cain on November 07, 2014, 12:52:33 PM
Their glowsticks/cigarette lighters are missing
Title: Re: If I have to hear ONE MORE BASTARD...
Post by: Suu on November 07, 2014, 01:21:47 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on November 07, 2014, 11:15:51 AM
I fucking love christmas! There I said it. I love the two weeks off work and the giving/getting presents to/from people and the huge fucking banquet and the gallons of booze and the mountains of reefer and Kirsty MacColl and the Pogues.

I don't care who started it. Some prehistoric dickhead getting caught by the filth and literally banged up cos living gods can't crime worth a fuck or a bunch of other prehistoric wankers sacrificing virgins to the spirit of the harvest. Seriously - couldn't give a fuck and will happily reduce to a quivering vegetable anyone who can (another thing to love about christmas)

Christmas is Saturday Night2 and I'll puke neat Tequilla in the face of anyone who refuses to party.  :argh!:

This is the correct one-horse open sleigh.
Title: Re: If I have to hear ONE MORE BASTARD...
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 07, 2014, 03:05:13 PM
Quote from: Cain on November 07, 2014, 11:23:00 AM
Modern Americans stole beer from ancient Mesopotamia.

It's almost like culture is some kind of open ended process of appropriation and adaptation where authenticity "doesn't real", as the kids say.

But nah.  Now stop listening to rock and roll, twerking and voting.  You horrible culture thieves.

:lulz:
Title: Re: If I have to hear ONE MORE BASTARD...
Post by: Roly Poly Oly-Garch on November 07, 2014, 03:27:30 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on November 07, 2014, 11:15:51 AM
I fucking love christmas! There I said it. I love the two weeks off work and the giving/getting presents to/from people and the huge fucking banquet and the gallons of booze and the mountains of reefer and Kirsty MacColl and the Pogues.

I don't care who started it. Some prehistoric dickhead getting caught by the filth and literally banged up cos living gods can't crime worth a fuck or a bunch of other prehistoric wankers sacrificing virgins to the spirit of the harvest. Seriously - couldn't give a fuck and will happily reduce to a quivering vegetable anyone who can (another thing to love about christmas)

Christmas is Saturday Night2 and I'll puke neat Tequilla in the face of anyone who refuses to party.  :argh!:

This holiday you speak of is completely foreign to me. In the U.S. we have this frenzied, month-long consumer blood sport typically starting on the last Friday in November and running right up until the last possible second on December 24th. Not a whole lot of two weeks off work around these parts, and even if there were it would be spent in an insurmountable cross-town commute through suddenly feral packs of disposable battery and gift-card hoarders wearing santa caps and bleeding peppermint flavored jolly from their tear ducts. The real party is in the media room where they get to report on shoppers getting trampled and do a weekly round-up of the banned nativity scene inspired butt-hurt. If you're lucky enough here to get to have a nice meal and spend time with family and friends, that merely means that there's some upside to the Ho-Ho-Hell. But even that is by no means a given, because we still need employees out there cleaning up the small asteroid worth of garbage that is generated, scrubbing the blood and regret from the retail shelves in preparation for the smaller after Christmas aftershock, and manning the suicide hotlines.
Title: Re: If I have to hear ONE MORE BASTARD...
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 07, 2014, 04:18:48 PM
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on November 07, 2014, 03:27:30 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on November 07, 2014, 11:15:51 AM
I fucking love christmas! There I said it. I love the two weeks off work and the giving/getting presents to/from people and the huge fucking banquet and the gallons of booze and the mountains of reefer and Kirsty MacColl and the Pogues.

I don't care who started it. Some prehistoric dickhead getting caught by the filth and literally banged up cos living gods can't crime worth a fuck or a bunch of other prehistoric wankers sacrificing virgins to the spirit of the harvest. Seriously - couldn't give a fuck and will happily reduce to a quivering vegetable anyone who can (another thing to love about christmas)

Christmas is Saturday Night2 and I'll puke neat Tequilla in the face of anyone who refuses to party.  :argh!:

This holiday you speak of is completely foreign to me. In the U.S. we have this frenzied, month-long consumer blood sport typically starting on the last Friday in November and running right up until the last possible second on December 24th. Not a whole lot of two weeks off work around these parts, and even if there were it would be spent in an insurmountable cross-town commute through suddenly feral packs of disposable battery and gift-card hoarders wearing santa caps and bleeding peppermint flavored jolly from their tear ducts. The only party is in the media room where they get to report on shoppers getting trampled and do a weekly round-up of the banned nativity scene inspired butt-hurt. If you're lucky enough here to get to have a nice meal and spend time with family and friends, that merely means that there's some upside to the Ho-Ho-Hell. But even that is by no means a given, because we still need employees out there cleaning up the small asteroid worth of garbage that is generated, scrubbing the blood and regret from the retail shelves in preparation for the smaller after Christmas aftershock, and manning the suicide hotlines.

This.

If you love Christmas, you haven't tried American Christmas.

I just hide in my house for that last week, until the worst of it is over.
Title: Re: If I have to hear ONE MORE BASTARD...
Post by: Ben Shapiro on November 07, 2014, 04:29:40 PM
XMAS is the only holiday worth celebrating.
Title: Re: If I have to hear ONE MORE BASTARD...
Post by: Doktor Howl on November 07, 2014, 04:50:37 PM
And the post-Christmas sales.  Let's not forget the post-Christmas advertising.

Because it can't be allowed to end until I am UTTERLY MAD.
Title: Re: If I have to hear ONE MORE BASTARD...
Post by: trippinprincezz13 on November 07, 2014, 04:55:04 PM
Quote from: Derrick Broze on November 07, 2014, 04:29:40 PM
XMAS is the only holiday worth celebrating.
(http://media0.giphy.com/media/mpU7G8ktwqK2Y/giphy.gif)


While my boyfriend and I, and our families do a decent job of keeping the materialistic side of things down and focusing on family (yea, we exchange presents, but try to keep it at quality - useful relevance-wise, not necessarily price vs. quantity), you still can't escape it. While it used to be that Christmas shopping was most prolific in the two weeks leading up to Christmas (did it ever used to be that way, maybe it was just a lovely dream), now it starts creeping up right after Halloween, explodes into madness on Black Friday and doesn't stop for a full month. Even just trying to do my regular grocery shopping involves waiting in endless traffic just to get to the store. This many people CAN'T possibly need to shop EVERY SINGLE DAY, can they? The whole concept and perpetuation of "Black Friday" I hate with every fiber of my being. That is a day for not leaving the house, or adventuring in the woods far from the mindless hordes of warring consumers.
Title: Re: If I have to hear ONE MORE BASTARD...
Post by: trippinprincezz13 on November 07, 2014, 04:56:03 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on November 07, 2014, 04:50:37 PM
And the post-Christmas sales.  Let's not forget the post-Christmas advertising.

Because it can't be allowed to end until I am UTTERLY MAD.

Then you had to go and remind me about this part too  :cry:
Title: Re: If I have to hear ONE MORE BASTARD...
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on November 07, 2014, 04:57:46 PM
Quote from: Sexy St. Nigel on November 07, 2014, 04:18:48 PM
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on November 07, 2014, 03:27:30 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on November 07, 2014, 11:15:51 AM
I fucking love christmas! There I said it. I love the two weeks off work and the giving/getting presents to/from people and the huge fucking banquet and the gallons of booze and the mountains of reefer and Kirsty MacColl and the Pogues.

I don't care who started it. Some prehistoric dickhead getting caught by the filth and literally banged up cos living gods can't crime worth a fuck or a bunch of other prehistoric wankers sacrificing virgins to the spirit of the harvest. Seriously - couldn't give a fuck and will happily reduce to a quivering vegetable anyone who can (another thing to love about christmas)

Christmas is Saturday Night2 and I'll puke neat Tequilla in the face of anyone who refuses to party.  :argh!:

This holiday you speak of is completely foreign to me. In the U.S. we have this frenzied, month-long consumer blood sport typically starting on the last Friday in November and running right up until the last possible second on December 24th. Not a whole lot of two weeks off work around these parts, and even if there were it would be spent in an insurmountable cross-town commute through suddenly feral packs of disposable battery and gift-card hoarders wearing santa caps and bleeding peppermint flavored jolly from their tear ducts. The only party is in the media room where they get to report on shoppers getting trampled and do a weekly round-up of the banned nativity scene inspired butt-hurt. If you're lucky enough here to get to have a nice meal and spend time with family and friends, that merely means that there's some upside to the Ho-Ho-Hell. But even that is by no means a given, because we still need employees out there cleaning up the small asteroid worth of garbage that is generated, scrubbing the blood and regret from the retail shelves in preparation for the smaller after Christmas aftershock, and manning the suicide hotlines.

This.

If you love Christmas, you haven't tried American Christmas.

I just hide in my house for that last week, until the worst of it is over.

LOL, yeah, once again I failed to account for the murrica-factor. We get a month of annoying radio jingles and tv full of "buy this plastic crap or your kids'll hate you" propaganda (if you're still into that old 20th century watching teevee with ads thing) but on the whole, in scotland, it's fucktons of booze and food and beating the shit out of tourists just coz. To be honest it could be any other scottish holiday, or weekend, or weekday but with loads of trippy lights in the shape of reindeer everywhere.
Title: Re: If I have to hear ONE MORE BASTARD...
Post by: Cain on November 07, 2014, 06:24:09 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on November 07, 2014, 04:50:37 PM
And the post-Christmas sales.  Let's not forget the post-Christmas advertising.

Because it can't be allowed to end until I am UTTERLY MAD.

Post Christmas sales were originally a Buryat ritual celebration of life after death, which has nothing to do with Jesus.
Title: Re: If I have to hear ONE MORE BASTARD...
Post by: Roly Poly Oly-Garch on November 07, 2014, 06:25:37 PM
Quote from: Cain on November 07, 2014, 06:24:09 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on November 07, 2014, 04:50:37 PM
And the post-Christmas sales.  Let's not forget the post-Christmas advertising.

Because it can't be allowed to end until I am UTTERLY MAD.

Post Christmas sales were originally a Buryat ritual celebration of life after death, which has nothing to do with Jesus.

:argh!: :argh!: :horrormirth:
Title: Re: If I have to hear ONE MORE BASTARD...
Post by: Doktor Howl on November 07, 2014, 06:42:21 PM
Quote from: Cain on November 07, 2014, 06:24:09 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on November 07, 2014, 04:50:37 PM
And the post-Christmas sales.  Let's not forget the post-Christmas advertising.

Because it can't be allowed to end until I am UTTERLY MAD.

Post Christmas sales were originally a Buryat ritual celebration of life after death, which has nothing to do with Jesus.

:lulz: :argh!:
Title: Re: If I have to hear ONE MORE BASTARD...
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 08, 2014, 12:21:59 AM
Quote from: Cain on November 07, 2014, 06:24:09 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on November 07, 2014, 04:50:37 PM
And the post-Christmas sales.  Let's not forget the post-Christmas advertising.

Because it can't be allowed to end until I am UTTERLY MAD.

Post Christmas sales were originally a Buryat ritual celebration of life after death, which has nothing to do with Jesus.

:lulz:
Title: Re: If I have to hear ONE MORE BASTARD...
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 08, 2014, 12:22:38 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on November 07, 2014, 04:50:37 PM
And the post-Christmas sales.  Let's not forget the post-Christmas advertising.

Because it can't be allowed to end until I am UTTERLY MAD.

PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE BUY THIS LEFTOVER SHIT WE OVERSTOCKED

PLEASE


oh please
Title: Re: If I have to hear ONE MORE BASTARD...
Post by: Doktor Howl on November 08, 2014, 04:28:42 AM
Quote from: Sexy St. Nigel on November 08, 2014, 12:22:38 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on November 07, 2014, 04:50:37 PM
And the post-Christmas sales.  Let's not forget the post-Christmas advertising.

Because it can't be allowed to end until I am UTTERLY MAD.

PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE BUY THIS LEFTOVER SHIT WE OVERSTOCKED

PLEASE


oh please

Retail sales are gonna tank this year.  Mark my words.

Guns will be WAY up, as the goobers think their time has come.  Because nothing says "Happy birthday, Prince of Peace!" like getting your 5 year old a .410 shotgun.
Title: Re: If I have to hear ONE MORE BASTARD...
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 08, 2014, 02:41:05 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on November 08, 2014, 04:28:42 AM
Quote from: Sexy St. Nigel on November 08, 2014, 12:22:38 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on November 07, 2014, 04:50:37 PM
And the post-Christmas sales.  Let's not forget the post-Christmas advertising.

Because it can't be allowed to end until I am UTTERLY MAD.

PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE BUY THIS LEFTOVER SHIT WE OVERSTOCKED

PLEASE


oh please

Retail sales are gonna tank this year.  Mark my words.

Guns will be WAY up, as the goobers think their time has come.  Because nothing says "Happy birthday, Prince of Peace!" like getting your 5 year old a .410 shotgun.

I can only hope. It's time this stupid fucked-up system broke.
Title: Re: If I have to hear ONE MORE BASTARD...
Post by: Ben Shapiro on November 08, 2014, 11:52:41 PM
<3 Look forward to looting all the retail for medicine, and drugs <3 <3 <3!
Title: Re: If I have to hear ONE MORE BASTARD...
Post by: Cain on November 09, 2014, 07:46:04 AM
Quote from: Derrick Broze on November 08, 2014, 11:52:41 PM
<3 Look forward to looting all the retail for medicine, and drugs <3 <3 <3!

Work in an international school.  Trust me on this, by the time July rolls around, you'll be swimming in minor painkillers, anti-allergens, cough syrup, plasters and cold meds.

I actually had to chuck a bunch of medication away last year, because I was left with so much stuff.  I still have a large box full of the stuff despite this.