TESTEMONAIL: Right and Discordianism allows room for personal interpretation. You have your theories and I have mine. Unlike Christianity, Discordia allows room for ideas and opinions, and mine is well-informed and based on ancient philosophy and theology, so, my neo-Discordian friends, open your minds to my interpretation and I will open my mind to yours. That's fair enough, right? Just claiming to be discordian should mean that your mind is open and willing to learn and share ideas. You guys are fucking bashing me and your laughing at my theologies and my friends know what's up and are laughing at you and honestly this is my last shot at putting a label on my belief structure and your making me lose all hope of ever finding a ideological group I can relate to because you don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about and everything I have said is based on the founding principals of real Discordianism. Expand your mind.
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A wise Discordian has a better idea when it's appropriate to misbehave than does the initiate, or those who think Chaos is the opposite of Order, confusing it with Disorder (it seems to me that quite a few new "Discordians" miss the point of the philosophy entirely and just want an excuse to spew word salad and incite "chaos.")
You have your Discordia, and I have my Discordia. My Discordia is driven by the urge to see maximized human potential. I don't expect or want perfection, but I DO think we can do better than kiddie gulags, casual racism that isn't so casual anymore, and an abandoned space program. Humans were meant to do grotesque things, and we have settled for the banal. I think that has to change, and that's why I am a Discordian. This dissatisfaction with humans that are content to be humans is an irritant to most people I run into. That's okay, your approval is not my concern.
What IS my concern is that things should be BETTER FASTER SEXIER MORE OVER THE TOP. Widescreen and loud as hell.
I am a funhouse mirror. You look at me, you see yourself, only far more manic, more into it, and maybe with a beard that you haven't got. My beard is strictly there to protect YOU, the citizen, from my dangerous levels of GUAPO. You should take a moment to thank it; it is all that stands between you and DEATH BY SEXY. It's also worth mentioning that your reflection is doing the safety dance while you yourself are standing there with a briefcase and a latte, wondering how you are going to finish your insane workload before deadline.
BE THE DEADLINE. BE what John Q Public lives in dread of (finished that with a preposition, DARE ME TO DRIVE?). Be the vague, formless terror in the breakroom. Humans really can't function without that, and there just ISN'T ENOUGH TO GO AROUND without YOUR help. I am MIGHTY, but even I can't DO IT ALONE.
I am a dataist. I am a mad scientist. I am laughing maniacally while the world saves me the trouble by DESTROYING ITSELF. I'm gonna go ON RECORD, though, as saying MY apocalypse is WAY cooler than this one...You are pensively waiting to be drowned by the rising ocean; MY apocalypse has REALLY FUCKING BIG GIANT SQUID coming in with the remorsely advancing tide. Your apocalypse has financial collapse; mine has ARMIES OF RADIOACTIVE GORILLAS. Your apocalypse is the banal failure of the machine; mine is of BIG GODDAMN NEON SIGNS saying "THESE SYSTEMS ARE FAILING."
Pick your poison. Ignominious extinction, or FIGHTING NESSIES IN THE SEWERS.
Stop that shit. Put that briefcase down. EXPLAIN YOURSELF. HOW, in this day and age, are you not ON FIRE? Why are you not THROWING YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR AND HOWLING? The world is your Pripyat Amusement Park. GET ON THE FUCKING RIDE, OR KILL ME RIGHT IN THE FACE.
I mean, seriously. Just look at You People.
God is interfering with my posts.
Mods need to take the principled stand and ban God.
We do, but he has literally an infinite amount of proxies.
Apply peer pressure to former co-workers. "Go on, quit...all the cool kids are doing it."The funny thing is, I barely need to. Just the other day I heard about another lady who's quitting, so the tally is sitting at 3 so far, with another three to go if we wanna break the previous record of 5 people in one week. Hell, they just hired two new people to our program, might just walk up and be like ABANDON ALL HOPE YE WHO ENTER HERE!
God is interfering with my posts.
Gurdjieff once reprimanded the American contingent: "You don't do self-observation. You just do mind-observation." During this exercise, you're getting distracted constantly, by thoughts, by emotions. Instead of going with them, you try to see what they are. Observe the parts of you that steal your focus, that initiate a chain of habit.
