WHY THE FUCK DO YOU PEOPLE IN NEW ENGLAND NOT CALL ANYTHING BY WTF IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE?!
I SHOULD NOT GET FUNNY LOOKS WHEN I SAY "DRESSER" GODDAMNIT. NO, IT'S NOT A BUREAU, A BUREAU IS A DEPARTMENT OF GOVERNMENT. A GODDAMN DRESSER IS WHAT YOU PUT FUCKING CLOTHES IN. IDIOTS.
ALSO. THIS IS AMERICA GODDAMNIT, THAT WORD YOU HAVE FOR YOUR DAD'S SISTER IS PRONOUNCED ANT LIKE THE BUG, NOT LIKE YOU'RE PRETENDING TO BE FROM FUCKING ENGLAND.
THIS IS NOT ENGLAND. THIS IS NEW ENGLAND.
YOU PUT YOUR GROCERIES AND DISHES IN A CABINET, IT'S NOT A FUCKING MILKSHAKE.
A WATER FOUNTAIN. FOR FUCK'S SAKE CALL IT A GODDAMN WATER FOUNTAIN!
A GRINDER? WHAT ARE YOU GRINDING? NOTHING! IT'S A SUBMARINE SANDWICH! DON'T LOOK AT ME THAT WAY, NEW YORK, KEEP YOUR HEROES TO YOURSELF. IT'S A FUCKING SUB!
MILK GOES IN COFFEE, COFFEE SYRUP DOES NOT GO IN MILK. IT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING.
AND FOR FUCK'S SAKE PIZZA IS NOT TO BE SERVED COLD AND CHEESELESS. YOU FUCKING IDIOTS!!!!!!!!!!
That is all.
-Suu
Ya'll are mad fuckin crazy, yo.
Alright, fine then.
Here is the new dialectic, more forthcoming as you all send me your colloquialisms to be translated, quantified, typified, number-crunched, compacted, unpacked, and otherwise reworked to be more efficient. These will all be changed over and take effect as of the next fiscal year. Please prepare accordingly as those found still using previous nomenclature will be summarily totemized.
1. CABINET= N speculatively upright utilitarian holding cell, or SUUHC, after translation pronounced SUCK. use: "put the dishes in the suck."
2. MILKSHAKE= N. lactose based sugar beverage, or LB SB, after translation pronounced POUNDESSBEA. Use: "Jerry, there's too many flies in the poundessbea machine, call the manager."
3. WATER FOUNTAIN= N. water dispensing spigot cover, or WDSC, after translation pronounced WETSK. Use: "The wetsk is broken, how are the beer taps looking? don't cut your gums up too bad on them."
4. GRINDER: N. auto meat rendering slicing and dicing interior contraption, or AMRSDIC, after translation pronounced AMOROUSDICK. Use: "Bring your amorousdick in here, we need to cut up a head cheese."
THAT IS ALL!
REMEMBER: ALL THOSE FOUND USING PREVIOUS TERMS ARE SUBJECTED TO SUMMARY TOTEMIZATION!
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*gulp*