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Apple Talk / Re: WOMP-ertainment
« on: July 11, 2009, 03:58:49 am »
From hell's black heart, I STAB AT THEE!

Apple Talk / Re: WOMP-ertainment
« on: July 11, 2009, 03:47:01 am »
A typical Floridian evening....

Apple Talk / Re: WOMP-ertainment
« on: July 11, 2009, 03:19:26 am »
You want steampunk? I'LL GIVE YA STEAMPUNK:

Apple Talk / Re: Recommend your favorite movies
« on: July 01, 2009, 02:27:33 am »


The Stellar Acting Career of Troy McClure
Originally by Jeff Soesbe
Contributions from Hari Wierny


[7F13] "Cry Yuma"
[7F13] "Here Comes the Coast Guard"
[8F01] "Preacher With a Shovel" (with Dolores Montenegro)
[8F03] "The Revenge of Abe Lincoln"
[8F03] "The Wackiest Covered Wagon in the West"
[8F14] "Calling All Quakers" (with Dolores Montenegro)
[8F14] "Gladys The Groovy Mule"
[8F14] "Today We Kill, Tomorrow We Die" (1)
[9F07] "Dial M for Murderousness"
[9F07] "The Erotic Adventures of Hercules"
[9F20] "'P' is for Psycho"
[9F20] "The President's Neck is Missing!"
[1F21] "The Boatjacking of Supership 79"
[1F21] "Hydro, the Man With the Hydraulic Arms"
[2F07] "Good-Time Slim, Uncle Doobie, and the Great 'Frisco Freak-Out"
[3F15] "Muppets Go Medieval" (1977) (with Dyan Cannon and The Muppets)
[3F15] "The Greatest Story Ever Hulaed"
[3F15] "They Came to Burgle Carnegie Hall"
[3F15] "Meet Joe Blow"
[3F15] "Give My Remains to Broadway"
[3F15] "The Verdict Was Mail Fraud"
[3F15] "Leper in the Backfield"
[3F15] "Make-Out King of Montana"
[3F15] "The Electric Gigolo"
[3F15] "The Contrabulous Fabtraption of Professor Horatio Hufnagel" (also director) (2)
[5F11] "David vs. Super-Goliath"
[5F11] "Suddenly Last Supper" (3)
[SI#2] "Space Mutants VII: Cry of the Space Mutant"
[SI#8] "The Itchy & Scratchy Movie" (bit part)
[SC#1] "Jagged Attraction"
[SC#1] "Look Who's Still Oinking"
[SC#5] "Three Men And A Nuke"
[SC#12] "Ten Was Too Many"
[SC#14] "The Computer Wore Puka Shells"
[SC#14] "The Frontier Family Get Deer Ticks"
[SC#14] "The Mediocre Journey"
[SC#??] "Slow Down David Copperfield, What's That Down Your Sock?"
[BM#1] "Calling All Lumberjacks"
[BM#1] "The Day Paul Bunyan Cried"
[RM#412] "Radioactive Man III"
[SJ] "The Pulverizer"
[SJ] "Radioactive Man II: Bring On The Sequel"
[SJ] "Sleepless in Shelbyville"
[SJ] "The Unbearable Moistness of Sweating"
[TC] "Coffee, Tea, or Fiddle Dee Dee"
[TC] "Eenie Meeni Miney, Die"
[AD] "A Bridge Too Far" (as Todd, the worlds unluckiest dentist)
[AD] "Swing, Swang, Swung" (as Bobby, the happy-go-lucky boyhood friend of Ook-Ook the lip cancer chimp)
[AD] "Three Men and a Bunsen Burner" (as the doomed Professor Landrew)
[AD] "Wake Up, Finnegan" (as Paddy the relentless bell-ringer)

Apple Talk / Re: <-<Link to a great fucking song>->
« on: June 28, 2009, 01:32:37 pm »
Respect the Flux.

hell yes. i love me some bluegrass. here's some more great bluegrass:

It is bluegrass, yes...but: It's Jerry's ultra modern-incredibly complicated and intricate-disaster on the dobro-bluegrass.

And that is why


Apple Talk / Re: <-<Link to a great fucking song>->
« on: June 26, 2009, 10:02:55 pm »


But this is the least illegal thing I could think to post here.

So, just send the bricks back to the bill collectors and Franklin Mint Reps, it's still fun.

Upon reading this, the gears in my head began to turn. I will remind the ladies and gentlemen of the jury that when this occurs, my only recourse is to enter a plea of insanity.

I came up with several ideas for the imminent hijinks that would no doubt be happening during the next few episodes of this man's sitcom, 80% of which would most likely end with my arraignment due to violations of frottage law, armistice treaties, and the FCC.

Nonetheless, I believe I have found the least acrimonious yet most socially viable revenge tactic:

1. Start collecting junk mail that has pre-paid envelopes inside of it.
2. Start collecting bricks.
3. Bring both to post office (The united states postal service has to send anything up to the weight and size of a brick in these postage paid envelopes, just tape it to the outside.)
4.Address to boss, boss' daughter, anybody else who has it coming but whom you just don't care enough about to actually show up at their house and lob said bricks through the window. It implies a rakish air of laziness that I find appealing and your hapless victims will find incredibly annoying.


-General Stuart

He's Suu's new boyfriend.

And he plays the banjo.


nowhere in that rambling assertion of your own ineptitude did you manage to make any coherent point.
congratulations, you've won today's prize:



Y'know what?  I don’t give a flying fuck.  You’re a good ole boy – go ahead & roar! *sputter*


Wow. Just. Wow.

Apparently, you do give a flying fuck.

This post went on and on like Rachael Ray spouting off about the virtues of lard.

I must have struck a nerve.
Do your nerves hurt?
I hope they do.
Stop stinking up my internet.

Anyway, here's a coffee cup i found for you, hope ya choke:


Consider your plot foiled, sir.


But you already said there were no women on the internet...cogito ergo...Honey is a man. No flaw.

Truth. Therefore Honey's alleged sweet t its and ass are fictional; therefore moot. Have you seen my 20-sided die?

The Jig is up ladies (?maybe?) and gentlemen!

Honey is actually a bot.

Sent here from the future.

By Skynet.

Her primary function: To annoy.
Her mission: To further the belief in her fictional sweet tits and ass.

But herein lies her fatal flaw: The want of self-destruction!

Honey wants us to discover she doesn't really exist, thus causing a paradox resultant in a rapidly growing event horizon that will swallow existence as we know it.


First of all:

Honey. Oh my shite. enough is enough. Really, I can only remain silent for so long before the dull biting pain of your stupidity begins to rot away at the tissue of my cerebral cortex. Honestly, it almost feels like my brain is going to turn into Yorkshire pudding and slowly ebb away through my foramen magnum, out my mouth, and on to my keyboard when i read your horrifically Mal-formed ideas of American history.

Honestly, I can cull much better VOLUMES of information from the pages of a GOLDEN BOOK! Remember Golden Books? Pokey Little Puppy, Mother Goose, even Goodnight House!

I apologize, truly apologize, for the volatile nature of this post. But if I have to abide sullying my computer screen with another one of your posts aimed at sating your own need for seeing your words in digital print, then I feel that a toaster bath is imminent on my part.

Your posts give me life cancer in a way that I have never known before.

Truly, a malignant blight on the face of this fair message board.

Yours Forever,

General Seumais Stuart.


We prefer to be called portch-monkeys.


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