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16
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: April 30, 2021, 05:55:19 pm »
I got the Moderna, and my left arm was useless for roughly 38 hours. When they say "your arm will probably be sore" they aren't talking about normal injection soreness. You won't even feel the needle, in fact. You'll feel a cloud of ghostly bees land on you in a half hour -- and then (roughly four hours later) you'll feel your arm's muscles ascend to a higher plane of existence and God start punching you in the shoulder if you move anything above the elbow.

That said, I had lots of energy and was thinking only mildly foggy. That's both upside and downside, though -- I kept on forgetting I only had one arm to use while the other was tucked up against me like a T-rex nubbin, trying to reach for things, and falling over in a wave of pain. Also dropping my laptop from a height of roughly 1.5 to 2 inches, constantly, as muscle memory betrays me.

As these things go, it's the worst vaccine I've ever had and better than literally any illness I can remember having.

17
RPG Ghetto / Re: New campaign world notes
« on: April 20, 2021, 05:45:06 pm »
I always like a good old train heist, personally. Comes close to highway robbery in a fantasy setting, but thatís a good old Western trope itself, and if youíre knocking over a whole military caravan of goodies you can get the whole damn train heist vibe right there (have battlemages or similar on deck for the high value bastards and crossbow dorks for the low stakes pop-up target shootout). Not to mention the added bonus of the flavor of highwaymen robbing a stagecoach.

ETA: I should be clear, I was definitely talking more about the ďrunning battle along the tracks, jump onboard, continueĒ style of train heist. The rubbish-on-the-rail type has its own charm, but itís not nearly as distinctive.

It's an idea, thought what the train analog would be escapes me right now.

Think low fantasy.

Traveling caravan still works. Targets on carts pulled by horses, armor/fireproof everything involved (depending on feasibility), close formation.

Like I said, think highwaymen robbing a stagecoach, except itís a whole damn line of them and thereís some armed nooks on board.

If horses or equivalent pack animals arenít likely, then it might very well be too low fantasy to make it work properly.

18
RPG Ghetto / Re: New campaign world notes
« on: April 20, 2021, 03:21:37 am »
I always like a good old train heist, personally. Comes close to highway robbery in a fantasy setting, but that’s a good old Western trope itself, and if you’re knocking over a whole military caravan of goodies you can get the whole damn train heist vibe right there (have battlemages or similar on deck for the high value bastards and crossbow dorks for the low stakes pop-up target shootout). Not to mention the added bonus of the flavor of highwaymen robbing a stagecoach.

ETA: I should be clear, I was definitely talking more about the “running battle along the tracks, jump onboard, continue” style of train heist. The rubbish-on-the-rail type has its own charm, but it’s not nearly as distinctive.

19
Apple Talk / Re: Introductions, Part VI: Welcome to Our PD Party
« on: April 17, 2021, 03:07:34 am »
Welcome to the time sump.  There's a ton of short fiction, a novel or two, enough recipes to give you gout, and we have a Cramulus issue.





you have a cramulus issue, old man  :argh!:

I have a Cramulus SOLUTION

I have a Cramulus issue too, and the solution makes it worse

Most recently we tried the thermite surgery but the explosions killed like five people.

20
Apple Talk / Re: Suu demands to know what you are listening to!
« on: April 09, 2021, 11:41:42 pm »
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DenHHB1Uvx4

If you like my nu metal bullshit and wonder what it would sound like with open Green Day worship, listen to this.

If you think late 90s popular heavy music sucked and the above sounds like a recipe for the shittiest music ever, also listen to this. I'm not big on pop punk or the particular breed of nu metal this is drawing on (Papa Roach/Linkin Park style) and I /still/ fuckin love this shit. The band's just plain good enough to make it all work brilliantly.

21
Apple Talk / Re: Suu demands to know what you are listening to!
« on: March 30, 2021, 09:21:26 pm »
Pretty sure I've posted this band before but they're so impressive to this day. It's a goddamn shame they split up after this 2006 (!!!!) EP. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2M5kyzw_QLg

Slam death metal, but with random post-hardcore and drunken bar punk stuff, mixed with an actual sense of humor and an impressive sense of rhythm and energy that is TOTALLY MISSING in most brutal death metal. There's a 7:25 IDM track. It's amazingly good (if simplistic) even by IDM standards, and especially impressive for an experimental brutal death metal band to do something that good. Despite being goofy trope-laden slam death at its core, there are many genuinely emotional moments  -- Morals Like Frozen Piss and Extensive Autumn Necrony are great examples of left-field feels passages in otherwise solid groovy slam death full of ridiculous goofy bullshit -- just. fuck. So good.

If you are REMOTELY open to brutal death metal you should try this band's EP, in full, front to back.

22
Discordian Recipes / Re: Poor Person Eats
« on: March 26, 2021, 10:15:24 pm »
In fact, if my math is right, one of those sausages prepared as described is in the ballpark of about 450-500 calories, and I definitely spent only .... 12 dollars on the sausages (18 sausages), 6 on the chili and cheese (2 cans each, ~2 dollars a can for chili and ~1 for cheese), and 4 dollars on the bread? So you're looking at what, 22/18=$1.22/sausage (a little bit more actually since I'll need to get more bread before anything else, but still), so I'm spending less than $2.50 a meal on some greasy garbage comfort food worth 900-1000 calories a piece.

The only time I think I've eaten cheaper is during the 4 days or so after the 14th. 7-11 Pi Day sale; those pizzas are 2-3 meals a piece.

23
Discordian Recipes / Re: Poor Person Eats
« on: March 26, 2021, 10:00:20 pm »
I wanted a chili+cheese hot dog yesterday.

NOT A MISTAKE SAUSAGE

1 package johnsonville cheddar sausage
1 can hormel chunky chili
1 can campbell's cheddar cheese soup
1 small-ish loaf of french bread (this is technically not a hot dog bun)
1 tbsp (roughly) butter
some salt idk im not your mom

Butter in a pan. Melt it on very low heat, then toss the sausages in. Crank up the heat to about medium, and spend time opening your cans and such. Turn the sausages over just when you start to feel a little bit antsy but before you think you should actually do it -- these fuckers cook nicely. Cut the french bread to a bit longer than hot-dog-length pieces, and slice almost in half lengthwise while you wait again.

OPTIONAL (I didn't do it but I could have): butter the inside of your french bread, then set buttered-side-down in a separate pan to toast insides.

For the last side of the sausage cooking, remove from heat and set on an unused burner. While the pan cools and the sausages finish their cook time, spread the pudding-consistency cheddar cheese on the inside of your french bread, TOP THAT WITH SALT (IMPORTANT), and spoon some chili in over that. When satisfied with amount of chili and cheese, add sausage on top.

Normally I'd say something funny here but I'm not going gluten free as fast as I want and there's no disaster to discuss, it's just a pretty good and very VERY fucking cheap chili and cheese hot dog that is, in a PURELY technical sense, not a violation of the pentabarf. (It should be noted that I didn't do that on purpose, it was just cheaper and higher calorie-content to do things this way.) Also, technically, you could make this without anything more than a microwave, since the chili and cheese don't need heated up at all, so I'm keeping this recipe around.

24
Apple Talk / Re: 24 hour ban on FB for
« on: March 25, 2021, 06:57:39 am »
The benefits of not using Facebook: shit like this is so alien to me that you can explain it in detail and provide screenshots and everything and I am still nodding vacantly, imagining pie

The downsides of not using Facebook: the only people I talk to online arenít real and donít exist [citation needed], and I donít get to see this sort of shit happen first hand

25
Discordian Recipes / Re: Poor Person Eats
« on: March 23, 2021, 07:13:36 pm »
Not wrong. Unfortunately.

26
Discordian Recipes / Re: Poor Person Eats
« on: March 22, 2021, 10:48:40 pm »
I will keep that in mind! Maybe I will goth pasta in the end anyway? Hmmm

27
Discordian Recipes / Re: Poor Person Eats
« on: March 22, 2021, 07:01:08 pm »
I got it explicitly because it was black pasta when not cooked. Really wanted to goth pasta... it was a mistake.

28
RPG Ghetto / Re: OSR D&D
« on: March 22, 2021, 06:53:33 pm »
Literally like 90% of what you stated is why I love classic World of Darkness stuff. I always love it when an ST lets the players hold-my-beer their talents and skills through wildly out-of-context situations. Three points in Drive, you can PROBABLY bullshit your way through flying a helicopter if youíre real fucking lucky and can drop some ďseems legitĒ details for bonus dice (my old circles shamelessly stole Exalted stunt dice for the purpose).

There were tons of numbers but they were all really small and easy to wrap your brain around and a good ST could make emergent narrative core to the gameplay. Literally the only difference is in the aesthetic and Iíve always been about Coal Chamber and God Module more than Black Sabbath, so WoD is a better fit.

I just think more people try for gloomy Anne Rice shit than try for Night Watch or Blade, which is not where the setting and aesthetic shines.

In other words; I am down with this and hope the trend of looser mechanics and having a fucking blast holds, because I miss the days of playing a stupid edgy Mage game where we have a Nephandi and a bunch of other stupid bullshit with the ST sending Slipknot songs in the MSN messenger chatroom and letting us flip cars and catch ourselves on fire with the paradox for yuks.

29
Discordian Recipes / Re: Poor Person Eats
« on: March 21, 2021, 08:53:51 pm »
I'm legitimately traumatized. I checked the recent posts and scrolled down too far, and saw this shit and nearly threw up at the sight. SO AWFUL. HIDEOUS. NIGHTMARE.

It's broken me. I might never eat pasta again.

30
Discordian Recipes / Re: Poor Person Eats
« on: March 21, 2021, 04:15:46 am »
I intended to make goth pasta: black pasta and red sauce. I made a fucking mistake and for the past 3 days I have been suffering. I have no money and little other food and i dumped the last of this tonight while fucking starving because there are some things that no human being should be forced to eat. I have eaten definitely expired food that absolutely was going to and did in fact give me food poisoning, this was too much.

FORBIDDEN PASTA OF DESPAIR

1 box aldi's black soybean spaghetti <-- ABSOLUTE NECESSITY
1 jar aldi's red pesto <-- ABSOLUTE NECESSITY
1 can of canned chicken meat <-- not necessary but no doubt adds to the experience
more butter than you think you'll need (one half stick) <-- for the chicken

Boil your pasta water -- do not put the pasta in yet, I don't know what will happen to this stuff if you soak it too long. While it's boiling, dump that can of chicken in a frying pan and add too much butter. No. More. A quarter stick. No. More. Half a stick. Yeah, finally the foul pink chunks are cooking. Chop it up fine, I don't trust a single bit of this shit but it's what I got and by god I will eat it, but I need to make it look like something other than disease. Add some salt and black pepper.

No.

MORE.

The pasta water still isn't boiling. What the FUCK. Scrape your cooked chicken into a container and dump the cheap red pesto in there too. Oh god. It's all sludge. It looks horrible. Mix it up and don't look at it too closely. Oh no why does it look like miniature maggots in a pool of tomato soup that's hardened and gone all chunky HORK

Finally the pasta water is boiling. You salted that shit, right? You better have. Oh well, too late to check now, cross your fingers and hope you don't have sad pasta. (It was indeed salted. Heavily.) Twiddle thumbs while the pasta coo-- no you don't, stir that shit, it's already gone all limp and weird. What the fuck. It was less than ten seconds. Panicked stirring for about 4 to 5 minutes because that's what the box says the cook time is, then strain.

It's earthworms. It's fucking earthworms.

Angrily dump strained pasta in a container, dump sauce/sludge on top, STIR LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT -- and then give up, it isn't helping, the shit WILL NOT STIR. Everything is horrible, the smell is delicious but the LOOK IS NIGHTMARISH.

Grab a fork, hoping it is okay to eat.



This is terrible. But it smells good, here goes...

Hell, it TASTES good too! But the TEXTURE is FUCKING HORRIFYING. NO. It feels like chomping on a mass of SOFT, WATERLOGGED RUBBER BANDS. This is suffering. It is malevolence.

Letting me cook was a mistake.

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