From the "reality is too hilarious to be unscripted" file
TEEN EXORCISTS
(http://www.thejanedough.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Teen-exorcists.jpg)
Here's a quick intro (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vy1hvTltswc)
Three teen girls, trained by Rev Bob Larson, are being trained to exorcise demons. He is trying to get them a reality TV show, so he's sending them on these high profile exorcisms, like trying to save England from Harry Potter (http://www.deathandtaxesmag.com/205500/these-arizona-teenagers-are-gonna-exorcise-britain-of-all-the-evil-harry-potter-demons/). (did you know that the magic in harry potter is REAL and those movies are the culmination of centuries of evil witch planning)
In this video, the journalist corners bob larson, who believes that half the global population is possessed by demons and will sell you his services as an exorcist. The money shot in the video shows one of the girls texting while performing the exorcism.
and the journalist is like, "Aren't you taking money from people who in some cases actually need real psychiatric help?"
and his answer is so great, he basically says, "I get paid well because what I do is important in the public eye"
right now I'm listening to Anderson Cooper's half hour episode on the topic (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sKYH3-NmSmE). It is awesome. Anderson isn't pulling any punches.
I lovvvvve it. Somebody asks the girls if what they are doing is responsible, and they say "Oh we have parental supervision, Brynne's dad is there the whole time."
It's 2013. You have the right to believe any crazy shit you want, and sell products or services to poor suckers who are just as crazy as you.
:dream:
Send them down here. My desk is haunted.
If they'd exorcise my head cold I'd be a happy camper.
Oh, Martin Luther, if only you could see the unintended consequences.
:lulz:
ETA: especially now that his spiritual descendants are the worst kind of religious profiteers. This stinks like selling indulgences.
What happens when Bob Larson watches Buffy the Vampire Slayer in order to find more proof of Satanic entertainment?
"That's not a bad idea. I could market that."
at 11:30, Anderson Cooper (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sKYH3-NmSmE) is really straightforward --- he tells them he thinks they're full of shit, the girls sound like they've been coached and are not speaking like humans talk, and that this is just an elaborate pitch for a reality TV show. The audience cheers.
after the break, Anderson brings on a family whose kid went through a really brutal and violent 72 hour exorcism. They are telling the girls that they have no qualifications to recognize whether or not somebody is schizophrenic.
There's just something magical about this TV format... They show you something which disgusts you, then they make that thing uncomfortable. It's like My Super Sweet 16 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JvtlB_NzI8), where these really spoiled rich girls cry and cry and cry and throw childish temper tantrums because their parents got them a RED mercedes instead of a BLUE one*. They build up your hate, and then there's a payoff, this feeling of vindication. It's cathartic.
I'm sitting here judging these girls for being apprentice snake oil salesman, and Anderson is like, "You wanna see them get theirs?" hell yes we do. :lol:
I have such a weird relationship with this kind of media, it's a sick obsession. It's why court TV shows are so popular, or movies like Inglorious Basterds---it gives us, the viewers, a chance to see somebody suffer without feeling any guilt about it, the moral high ground is preserved for the audience.
*I just made up that example, then googled "super sweet 16 tantrum", and the first hit was exactly what I described: a girl flipping out because her new luxury car is red instead of blue. AMAZING
ahhhh I was trying to remember where I had last seen Bob Larson (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Larson)
Back in the 80s/90s, he used to host TV debates with satanists, confronting them about how evil they are. Here's his interview (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZ8PFfm_wpc) with Zeena LaVey and Nicholas Schreck, who at the time were the heads of the church of satan. They handle themselves really well, it's a good watch.
The redhead in the middle has put the devil in me.
It's kind of interesting that teens would be put in this position.
Let us assume for the sake of argument that demonic possession is a real thing, since that's presumably what these girls actually believe.
It's a goddamn demon. It would seem highly irresponsible to send an untrained, psychologically incapable person. Other religious traditions that engage in the practice perform it rarely. Mainly because you really have to go out of your way to say, there's some freaky unexplainable shit going on here, so why not give this last option a shot? I am thinking primarily of the Catholic Church, where, as I understand it, you have to get authorization from the Pope himself to get the go ahead, and those authorizations are exceedingly rare, because 99.999999% of the time, it is due to some sort of mental illness in the patient. But the other end of it is that the exorcist has to be psychologically balanced in order to pull the ritual off. Teenagers are self-conscious and have fragile egos, and have dirty little private thoughts that a telepathic demon will exploit the fuck out of.
the kids keep saying "It's fine, our parents are there and they would never let us do something dangerous"
I guess Larson believes in demons and yet doesn't think exorcisms are dangerous?
I dunno, maybe it has to do with Larson's faith in the girls' purity / innocence or something? I do wonder what's going on in Bob Larson's head... I have no doubt that he's a true believer, but he's been a VHS huckster since the 80s. Clearly he has somehow resolved the cognitive dissonance between healing the sick and profiting off them.
dude charges $100 for what I assume is a nickel plated cross.
his website, btw: http://www.boblarson.org/
Quote from: Cramulus on September 11, 2013, 06:03:25 PM
the kids keep saying "It's fine, our parents are there and they would never let us do something dangerous"
I guess Larson believes in demons and yet doesn't think exorcisms are dangerous?
I dunno, maybe it has to do with Larson's faith in the girls' purity / innocence or something? I do wonder what's going on in Bob Larson's head... I have no doubt that he's a true believer, but he's been a VHS huckster since the 80s. Clearly he has somehow resolved the cognitive dissonance between healing the sick and profiting off them.
dude charges $100 for what I assume is a nickel plated cross.
his website, btw: http://www.boblarson.org/
Yeah because telling one of Satan's agents, "hold on a sec, I have to text Kayla" isn't in anyway dangerous. :lulz:
Also, totally going to take his got demons test.
Oh dear. It's Demon Test (R) :horrormirth:
I guess there's no such thing as a free consult with Bob Larson.
yeah, it's $9.95 to find out if you're in the 50% of the population that has demonz
Quote from: Cramulus on September 11, 2013, 06:11:00 PM
yeah, it's $9.95 to find out if you're in the 50% of the population that has demonz
Flipping a quarter will only cost me 25 cents, and only while it's midair.
I'm also guessing Larson's diagnostic is about as fair a coin as a Scientologist's e-meter. That is to say, if you take the test, you're one of the 50% afflicted.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LjgdR_JUCk < best of Bob Larson.
There's a Bear Demon terrorizing all of North East Houston.
I have it on good authority that the Devil is running around in at least one of the Tucsons.
Quote from: Twigel on September 11, 2013, 06:11:32 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on September 11, 2013, 06:11:00 PM
yeah, it's $9.95 to find out if you're in the 50% of the population that has demonz
Flipping a quarter will only cost me 25 cents, and only while it's midair.
This is genius.
Quote from: Twigel on September 11, 2013, 05:56:12 PM
It's kind of interesting that teens would be put in this position.
Let us assume for the sake of argument that demonic possession is a real thing, since that's presumably what these girls actually believe.
It's a goddamn demon. It would seem highly irresponsible to send an untrained, psychologically incapable person. Other religious traditions that engage in the practice perform it rarely. Mainly because you really have to go out of your way to say, there's some freaky unexplainable shit going on here, so why not give this last option a shot? I am thinking primarily of the Catholic Church, where, as I understand it, you have to get authorization from the Pope himself to get the go ahead, and those authorizations are exceedingly rare, because 99.999999% of the time, it is due to some sort of mental illness in the patient. But the other end of it is that the exorcist has to be psychologically balanced in order to pull the ritual off. Teenagers are self-conscious and have fragile egos, and have dirty little private thoughts that a telepathic demon will exploit the fuck out of.
For the sake of argument: teenagers are at a point where they are in transition, and points of transition are where people are closest to "the supernatural" in some belief systems. Teenage girls specifically have been associated with poltergeists, and they were used in some areas for witch hunting. Virgin teenage girls (which these ladies undoubtedly profess to be) were the only way you could catch a unicorn. Also, virgin blood for sacrifices, etc. By this (largely historically inaccurate, but memetically robust) reasoning, virgin teenage girls would be very well suited for the job. They are close enough to the supernatural that they can affect it. Their conviction in their faith, and the conviction their marketers have in that faith, will prevent them from entertaining the notion that they could fail.
Also, why would you want someone psychologically sound to do this shit? No, you need someone who's REALLY GOOD at lying to themselves. Someone who can huff their own farts so hard they pass out without noticing the stench.
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on September 12, 2013, 10:09:17 PM
Quote from: Twigel on September 11, 2013, 05:56:12 PM
It's kind of interesting that teens would be put in this position.
Let us assume for the sake of argument that demonic possession is a real thing, since that's presumably what these girls actually believe.
It's a goddamn demon. It would seem highly irresponsible to send an untrained, psychologically incapable person. Other religious traditions that engage in the practice perform it rarely. Mainly because you really have to go out of your way to say, there's some freaky unexplainable shit going on here, so why not give this last option a shot? I am thinking primarily of the Catholic Church, where, as I understand it, you have to get authorization from the Pope himself to get the go ahead, and those authorizations are exceedingly rare, because 99.999999% of the time, it is due to some sort of mental illness in the patient. But the other end of it is that the exorcist has to be psychologically balanced in order to pull the ritual off. Teenagers are self-conscious and have fragile egos, and have dirty little private thoughts that a telepathic demon will exploit the fuck out of.
For the sake of argument: teenagers are at a point where they are in transition, and points of transition are where people are closest to "the supernatural" in some belief systems. Teenage girls specifically have been associated with poltergeists, and they were used in some areas for witch hunting. Virgin teenage girls (which these ladies undoubtedly profess to be) were the only way you could catch a unicorn. Also, virgin blood for sacrifices, etc. By this (largely historically inaccurate, but memetically robust) reasoning, virgin teenage girls would be very well suited for the job. They are close enough to the supernatural that they can affect it. Their conviction in their faith, and the conviction their marketers have in that faith, will prevent them from entertaining the notion that they could fail.
Also, why would you want someone psychologically sound to do this shit? No, you need someone who's REALLY GOOD at lying to themselves. Someone who can huff their own farts so hard they pass out without noticing the stench.
Ah virginity. Fair. But i suspect that has more to do with folklore than anything biblically based.
Not to be That Guy, but five bucks says the woman on the left isn't a virgin.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on September 13, 2013, 04:03:36 AM
Not to be That Guy, but five bucks says the woman on the left isn't a virgin.
Isn't she the one that's like 15? (see Anderson Cooper link)
I don't want to start this up, but losing one's virginity on or prior to 15 is not surprising to me.
It's awful, but not surprising.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on September 13, 2013, 04:55:03 AM
I don't want to start this up, but losing one's virginity on or prior to 15 is not surprising to me.
It's awful, but not surprising.
Christians do it
better sooner.
Actually, isn't there a statistic that religious conservative teens are more likely to get abortions? Or is that BS?
Quote from: Twigel on September 13, 2013, 04:56:47 AM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on September 13, 2013, 04:55:03 AM
I don't want to start this up, but losing one's virginity on or prior to 15 is not surprising to me.
It's awful, but not surprising.
Christians do it better sooner.
Saddlebacking?
Quote from: Richter on September 13, 2013, 01:05:36 PM
Quote from: Twigel on September 13, 2013, 04:56:47 AM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on September 13, 2013, 04:55:03 AM
I don't want to start this up, but losing one's virginity on or prior to 15 is not surprising to me.
It's awful, but not surprising.
Christians do it better sooner.
Saddlebacking?
:buttsecks:
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on September 13, 2013, 04:03:36 AM
Not to be That Guy, but five bucks says the woman on the left isn't a virgin.
I'll take that bet. Care to give your reasoning?
Quote from: Twigel on September 13, 2013, 05:02:34 AM
Actually, isn't there a statistic that religious conservative teens are more likely to get abortions? Or is that BS?
There's a direct relationship between how often you shove your religion in peoples faces and the likelihood of it coming back to haunt you.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on September 13, 2013, 04:55:03 AM
I don't want to start this up, but losing one's virginity on or prior to 15 is not surprising to me.
It's awful, but not surprising.
In the UK, 15 would be seen as positively middle aged.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on September 13, 2013, 04:03:36 AM
Not to be That Guy, but five bucks says the woman on the left isn't a virgin.
Um.
You do realize that speculating that a teenage girl "isn't a virgin" because she gives you a boner or "looks experienced" or whatever your reasoning is, is totally creeptastic, right?
I mean, what does that even mean, and why would you feel the need to say it?
This is personal, but that kind of brings back some memories of being a teenager and older guys leering at me that I probably "wasn't a virgin". Because I walked around like a person who had a clue of where I was on the map. Fucking gross assumptions based on... I don't even know what. Based on the idea that it was probably more acceptable for them to think about fucking me if they thought I wasn't a virgin, or to say shitty degrading things to me if my purity was already soiled by having sex. Assholes saying things like "You're probably good at sucking cock" to me when I was fourteen fucking years old, because I guess I "looked like I wasn't a virgin".
Quote from: What The Fox Say on September 13, 2013, 03:15:40 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on September 13, 2013, 04:03:36 AM
Not to be That Guy, but five bucks says the woman on the left isn't a virgin.
Um.
You do realize that speculating that a teenage girl "isn't a virgin" because she gives you a boner or "looks experienced" or whatever your reasoning is, is totally creeptastic, right?
Sorry, I did my math wrong. Initially, I had calculated a 30% teen pregancy rate in Arizona, which means 1 in 3, and there were three girls, so...
I forgot to carry the decimal. It's 3%. So forget I said anything.
I also want to apologize to Nigel for bringing up ugly memories.
http://www.vice.com/en_uk/Fringes/teenage-exorcists-full-length
Video coverage from VICE a while ago about these kids.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on September 13, 2013, 03:24:56 PM
Quote from: What The Fox Say on September 13, 2013, 03:15:40 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on September 13, 2013, 04:03:36 AM
Not to be That Guy, but five bucks says the woman on the left isn't a virgin.
Um.
You do realize that speculating that a teenage girl "isn't a virgin" because she gives you a boner or "looks experienced" or whatever your reasoning is, is totally creeptastic, right?
Sorry, I did my math wrong. Initially, I had calculated a 30% teen pregancy rate in Arizona, which means 1 in 3, and there were three girls, so...
I forgot to carry the decimal. It's 3%. So forget I said anything.
I also want to apologize to Nigel for bringing up ugly memories.
Thank you. For the record, they are pretty much the same kind of run-of-the-mill ugly memories that most girls in America grow up with, yay pervasive chauvinism! I'm already hearing shitty stories about awful things men say to my daughters.
You could have said "odds are that one or more of those girls isn't actually a virgin" and it wouldn't have made the same impression on me, FYI. However, even if your math had been right, you know that statistics don't predict an individual's outcome, right?
Yeah, I was being a dick. I do realize that.
Sorry again.