Messages

I have a fear of boredom.

you DO know what a Derringer is, right?

it's a single-shot (sometimes two shots in a double-barrel configuration) palm-sized pistol that is meant to ONLY be used at point-blank range.

If you can miss your target when your gun is jammed into the target's guts, well, evolution does not favor you.

Yes, I know what a derringer is. It doesn't matter, when someone is in a life-or-death situation all sorts of shit happens. It's not a simple as you make it sound. That aside, I would trust a derringer much less than I would trust a revolver in terms of reliability and in terms of accidental discharge.

The attitude that just because it's a derringer anyone ought to be able to carry it around safely and be able to use it properly if they absolutely had to is irresponsible. It's still a gun and shouldn't be in the hands of someone who doesn't know what they're doing.

you missed the part where there's no excuse for not knowing some basic firearm safety in this day and age. Especially since they're not tricky mechanisms, everything you need to know about them in terms of minimizing risk to yourself is pretty much common sense. Remember, I'm not addressing the world at large, this is advice specifically tailored for the superior mutants at PD.com. Also, if the situation truly is life or death, I fail to see how you're better off with a non-lethal way of defending yourself from someone who may very well be trying to kill you.

Heh.  Circa 1882:

Never handle firearms carelessly. The sorrow and suffering that have been caused through the innocent but heedless handling of firearms by the young! Only four days ago, right in the next farm house to the one where I am spending the summer, a grandmother, old and gray and sweet, one of the loveliest spirits in the land, was sitting at her work, when her young grandson crept in and got down an old, battered, rusty gun which had not been touched for many years and was supposed not to be loaded, and pointed it at her, laughing and threatening to shoot. In her fright she ran screaming and pleading toward the door on the other side of the room; but as she passed him he placed the gun almost against her very breast and pulled the trigger! He had supposed it was not loaded. And he was right--it wasn't. So there wasn't any harm done. It is the only case of that kind I ever heard of. Therefore, just the same, don't you meddle with old unloaded firearms; they are the most deadly and unerring things that have ever been created by man. You don't have to take any pains at all with them; you don't have to have a rest, you don't have to have any sights on the gun, you don't have to take aim, even. No, you just pick out a relative and bang away, and you are sure to get him. A youth who can't hit a cathedral at thirty yards with a Gatling gun in three quarters of an hour, can take up an old empty musket and bag his grandmother every time, at a hundred. Think what Waterloo would have been if one of the armies had been boys armed with old muskets supposed not to be loaded, and the other army had been composed of their female relations. The very thought of it make one shudder.

[HOW?!]

Tripp pants, baggy T shirt and arm socks, Nurse Mayhem. On the good Doktor. I suggest it.

Are you getting in on the betting, Freeky?

Ho ho!

Uhhh... Maybe...

You have to be horrible and rude to a clerk at Circle K.

This may take several tries. :C I'm not even sure this is possible!

Horrible and rude.

But... But... HOW?!

Just picture your ex's ex, smirking at you.

Or bet wisely.

One or the other.

My one weakness! How did you know?!

*dies*

Your other weakness, you mean.

The other one is about 5'8" and has red hair.   

Shutyourwhoremouth. 

Tripp pants, baggy T shirt and arm socks, Nurse Mayhem. On the good Doktor. I suggest it.

Are you getting in on the betting, Freeky?

Ho ho!

Uhhh... Maybe...

You have to be horrible and rude to a clerk at Circle K.

This may take several tries. :C I'm not even sure this is possible!

Horrible and rude.

My one weakness! How did you know?!

*dies*

Your other weakness, you mean.

The other one is about 5'8" and has red hair.   

So I can vomit in the fire pit again?

Among other things.

Tripp pants, baggy T shirt and arm socks, Nurse Mayhem. On the good Doktor. I suggest it.

Are you getting in on the betting, Freeky?

Ho ho!

Uhhh... Maybe...

You have to be horrible and rude to a clerk at Circle K.

Suggestion from the peanut gallery:   Body glitter on the face and head.

Well, there's no point half-assing it, right? 

I mean, if you're going to force people to fight for your amusement, you might as well go whole-hog on the betting.

Tripp pants, baggy T shirt and arm socks, Nurse Mayhem. On the good Doktor. I suggest it.

Are you getting in on the betting, Freeky?

Ho ho!

I realize that KYFMS rule has to take effect at some point, but at least a part of all this needs to be documented.


FOR SCIENCE!

Sure.  We can work up a "parody" handbook.

Also, I am curious...who would win in a fair fight, Von Melee or John?

Only one way to find out.

This is the correct answer.  

Nurse, we need to arrange this.  Bets will be placed this Friday.

I will arrange that for you, Doktor.  

Righteo.  Given your and Kaz' money situation, bets will be limited to non-cash penalties.  For example, Kaz will have to go to Ihop with us in obvious drag.  I don't care what forfeit you come up with for me.

I think that the same will go for you, as well.

Okay, but I was hoping you'd come up with something weirder.  Or newer.  I would have, but my brain is compromised.

YOU will have to wear a formal dress for a day, and no smoking.  In public.

No smoking?! 

Ok, I will come up with something much weirder. Perhaps we dress you up in Tripp pants. And you have to go out in them. 

You wouldn't.

Oh, I would. 

Well, okay, but we still have to place our bets.

By the way, would you like me to buy more vodka this week?  It will help you concentrate while you figure the odds.

Amendment V?  We don't need no steenking amendment V.   

Also, I am curious...who would win in a fair fight, Von Melee or John?

Only one way to find out.

This is the correct answer.  

Nurse, we need to arrange this.  Bets will be placed this Friday.

I will arrange that for you, Doktor.  

Righteo.  Given your and Kaz' money situation, bets will be limited to non-cash penalties.  For example, Kaz will have to go to Ihop with us in obvious drag.  I don't care what forfeit you come up with for me.

I think that the same will go for you, as well.

Okay, but I was hoping you'd come up with something weirder.  Or newer.  I would have, but my brain is compromised.

YOU will have to wear a formal dress for a day, and no smoking.  In public.

No smoking?! 

Ok, I will come up with something much weirder. Perhaps we dress you up in Tripp pants. And you have to go out in them. 

You wouldn't.

Oh, yeah.