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There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.

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Messages - Nephew Twiddleton

#18181
Quote from: Darth Cupcake on May 03, 2010, 08:00:24 PM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on May 03, 2010, 07:53:08 PM
I know I'm a newb, and I should probably lurk moar. But this is stupid. Why do my roommates want me to buy 4 liters of water when I can take my unlimited supply and boil it? And yeah, it's on me because I have today off. (I live in Eastern MA btw, and we have a water emergency)  :argh!:. On the bright side my humanities homework is basically listen to Black Sabbath's paranoid and write about the importance of Heavy Metal. Not so bad after all.

CAUSE PEOPLE ARE DUMB

The majority of people I saw at the grocery store Saturday night panic-buying carts full of water probably barely ever even drink water. It's simply the fact that they cannot get it that makes them fell that they MUST HAVE IT.

Quote from: Sigmatic on May 03, 2010, 07:57:39 PM
Boil water, strain through muslin cloth to make it look clean, ??, prophet.

The water LOOKS clean, it's just made a detour through the Charles River between the reservoir and our taps. It looks like perfectly normal water. Smells like normal water. Washes my hair and flushes my toilet like normal water.

BUT IT MIGHT BE DEADLY.

So boil it, then remove panties from twist, then have a beer. That's how I've been rolling.

You know how it is. Every time we have a fucking Nor'easter, it's out to Shaws to buy the non-perishibles. Nevermind the fact that Boston occasionally gets shitty inconvenient weather. Dude, throw your milk on the back porch, there's an endless refrigerator outside. I never drink water, unless it's really unbearable outside. The hype is stupid. I put my contacts in yesterday after washing my hands in tap water, and I don't have pink eye yet. I think it's ok. I'm going to make them reimburse me.
#18182
Quote from: Sigmatic on May 03, 2010, 07:57:39 PM
Boil water, strain through muslin cloth to make it look clean, ??, prophet.

We don't have any cloth for that, but we do have a Britta.
#18183
Quote from: BADGE OF HONOR on May 03, 2010, 07:55:30 PM
Just boil 4 liters of water and tell your roommates to suck it.

Good point. On the brighter side, I can push for more beer. For hydration purposes naturally.
#18184
I know I'm a newb, and I should probably lurk moar. But this is stupid. Why do my roommates want me to buy 4 liters of water when I can take my unlimited supply and boil it? And yeah, it's on me because I have today off. (I live in Eastern MA btw, and we have a water emergency)  :argh!:. On the bright side my humanities homework is basically listen to Black Sabbath's paranoid and write about the importance of Heavy Metal. Not so bad after all.
#18185
If done properly, you could probably swing an election by flooding a particular party for the purposes of the primary, and guarantee that an unappealing long-shot wins. Interesting in theory, not sure I trust the average voter though to not vote for the unlikely politician in question.
#18186
Propaganda Depository / Re: TNG WTF
May 01, 2010, 01:34:37 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on May 01, 2010, 11:12:55 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=414TmP12WAU  :? :eek: :lulz: :fap:


Actually that was pretty good, I'll keep these in mind for when I need a larf
#18187
GASM Command / Re: EvangeliGASM
April 28, 2010, 09:00:58 AM
Quote from: Triple Zero on April 28, 2010, 08:40:14 AM
Nephew Twiddleton, those fake Jesus tracts sound pretty awesome! Can you post a link to the documents?

Ok, here's the thread (obviously, my name is Kevin but has been otherwise sanitized), feel free to edit to reflect your own city's public transport, and when I find my older stuff, I will post it in this thread, hopefully in the next week or two.

Thread:
Caitlin God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise and god hath chosen the weak of things of the world to confound the things which are mighty

April 19 at 10:57am via Text Message • Comment •LikeUnlike • View Feedback (16)Hide Feedback (16)
Kevin
Must have been some service last night. Have you found Jesus then? And if so where was he? My guess was waiting for the T. ooh, bad bad bad
April 19 at 11:01am •
Caitlin
Lol. Oh god here we go
April 19 at 11:04am
Kevin
At least he was waiting for an upper-case T this time around, yuk yuk yuk
April 19 at 11:04am •
Kevin
INRI on the MBTA, lol
"Blessed are those who wait for the bus in patience, for they shall inherit the free express bus." -Sermon at the bus stop
"Woe to you oh earth and sea, for the devil sends the bus with wrath, because he knows the wait is long. Let him who hath understanding reckon the number of the bus, for it is a human number. It's number is 666." -St. John's Busocalypse
April 19 at 11:13am •
Kevin
"And the route was without form and void, and delays were on the face of the stop... and the LORD said, 'let there be bus!' and there was public transportation, and he saw that it was slow"-Book of Busenesis
"There was grumbling at the bus stop. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon fought, and his angels... and prevailed not. Neither anymore was their place found on the bus. And the great dragon was kicked off the bus. That old serpent called the Devil and Satan which delayeth the whole transit authority, he was kicked off of the bus and his angels were kicked off with him." –St. John's Busocalypse
April 19 at 11:19am •
Kevin
"I am the bus driver, your god, who brought you out of Roxbury. Thou shalt have no transportation before me." -Book of Exobus
April 19 at 11:20am •
Kevin
"Jesus waited" -shortest verse in the Busible
April 19 at 11:23am
Caitlin
Kevin your a tweak
April 19 at 11:23am
Kevin
"My bus, my bus, why have you abandoned me?" -Jesus at the T
April 19 at 11:24am •
Peter
LMFAO!!!!!!Kevin you are amazing!!
April 19 at 11:36am
Kevin
"Let him who hath not ridden cast the first Charlie Ticket!"
April 19 at 11:47am •
Peter
i think you need to start a new religion, and make up another panphlet to leave on busses around town
April 19 at 11:49am
Kevin
YESSSSSSS!!!!
April 19 at 11:49am •
Peter
when you do give me a bunch and i'll leave them around to be found
April 19 at 11:50am
Caitlin
We can hand them out like the jesus guys
April 19 at 11:50am
Peter 
we can trade with them lol
April 19 at 11:52a
#18188
GASM Command / Re: EvangeliGASM
April 28, 2010, 08:44:57 AM
Quote from: Triple Zero on April 28, 2010, 08:40:14 AM
Nephew Twiddleton, those fake Jesus tracts sound pretty awesome! Can you post a link to the documents?

Like I said, it's on my old computer. I can try and access it (the main problem is that the keyboard doesn't work, but I can try the mouse, transfer to a thumb drive and put it on my new computer). Other than that, I think that I have one left, so I'll probably need some time to track it down one way or the other, and see if I can scan it. If you want the MBTA pseudo Bible quote thread that I'm gonna run off of, wait a minute, I'll post it here.
#18189
GASM Command / Re: EvangeliGASM
April 28, 2010, 08:34:58 AM
Quote from: Nast on April 28, 2010, 07:10:32 AM
YOU GUYS, I HAVE THE GREATEST IDEA EVER!

EvanJELLOism:

You make a bowl of jello, with a tract promoting your religion imbedded inside of it. But to get to it, your potential converts must eat the jello first.



Maybe what you could do is sneak it onto a help yourself table at a large party descretely. I did that sort of thing with EggGASM. Pretty good results.
#18190
GASM Command / Re: EvangeliGASM
April 28, 2010, 08:26:41 AM
Quote from: Nast on April 28, 2010, 07:10:32 AM
YOU GUYS, I HAVE THE GREATEST IDEA EVER!

EvanJELLOism:

You make a bowl of jello, with a tract promoting your religion imbedded inside of it. But to get to it, your potential converts must eat the jello first.



I like it, but, I would be reluctant to eat Jello that had paper in it, even if it looked interesting. Plus, you would have to serve it to someone.
#18191
GASM Command / Re: EvangeliGASM
April 28, 2010, 05:41:04 AM
I know that this is about 2 and a half months later than the original post, but I've made fake tracts with Jesus on the front to make it look like a Christian tract, but with weird stuff inside. The gist of it was a take on WWJD, but saying that Jesus would have you think for yourself and not let a piece of paper do it for you, including this piece of paper. I included random quotes that had nothing to do with anything as well as a fun facts section, and in the end where they usually ask you to check off whether or not you've accepted Jesus, I put several options, some of which said something like, "Yes I will think for myself and not listen to a stupid tract" "This tract is stupid, therefore I will not think for myself" "Wait, what? Which one of the two above do I pick" and the last one was, "Ah, yes, yes, fnord, hail Eris and all that rot" I would leave them on the MBTA, and I gave some to my drummer, who, while not a Discordian, likes the idea of handing out fake tracts. Based on a recent facebook thread, he's encouraged me to do a new one that remixes Bible verses so that they include references to the MBTA, which I intend to do. Sadly, the original WWJD one is on my old computer which has decided to go into eternal slumber.

That said, I'm onboard. THis sort of thing is my style. I've been wanting to jump onto (and eventually pitch my own) GASMs, part of the reason I signed up here.

Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on February 16, 2010, 07:31:30 PM
So I was sitting at a bar last night with EOT and, kind of out of the blue, the image of Cram on a streetcorner earnestly handing out Discordian pamphlets popped into my head. And it was funny. I laughed.

And then I was enlightened.

So what I would like to do here is follow through with Cram's (I think it was Cram's) idea of streetcorner Discordian evangelism... put together some little pamphlets, ones that can be printed on a single sheet of paper, then cut up, folded, and stapled... and start handing them out. I'll post them on SCRIBD as I get them done. Contributions to this project, whether in the form of ideas or pamphlets, are welcome.
#18192
Quote from: Remington on April 28, 2010, 04:20:24 AM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on April 28, 2010, 02:42:06 AM
Quote from: SchizoNegro on April 28, 2010, 02:33:35 AM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on April 28, 2010, 02:31:04 AM
Quote from: SchizoNegro on April 28, 2010, 02:24:40 AM
Quote from: Pēleus on April 28, 2010, 01:12:37 AM
if you HAD to pick a science to banned, which one?

try not to pick an easy one that most people go WTF THATS A SCHOOL OF THOUGHT?
Christian Science :lulz:

I would have said "Creation Science" myself...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_science

I know the difference (I live in Boston), just noting my opinion that Creation Science is spurious with the clever use of quotation marks.
You've got to give Creation Scientists a break. They have a hell of a job.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a test tube full of faith?


Touche sir, touche.
#18193
Quote from: SchizoNegro on April 28, 2010, 02:33:35 AM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on April 28, 2010, 02:31:04 AM
Quote from: SchizoNegro on April 28, 2010, 02:24:40 AM
Quote from: Pēleus on April 28, 2010, 01:12:37 AM
if you HAD to pick a science to banned, which one?

try not to pick an easy one that most people go WTF THATS A SCHOOL OF THOUGHT?
Christian Science :lulz:

I would have said "Creation Science" myself...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_science

I know the difference (I live in Boston), just noting my opinion that Creation Science is spurious with the clever use of quotation marks.
#18194
Quote from: SchizoNegro on April 28, 2010, 02:24:40 AM
Quote from: Pēleus on April 28, 2010, 01:12:37 AM
if you HAD to pick a science to banned, which one?

try not to pick an easy one that most people go WTF THATS A SCHOOL OF THOUGHT?
Christian Science :lulz:

I would have said "Creation Science" myself...
#18195
Do you have anything in your belly button, and if so, what is it/consistency/color, etc...?