Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Discordian Recipes => Topic started by: Suu on January 11, 2011, 09:44:01 PM

Title: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 11, 2011, 09:44:01 PM
POST AND I WILL DESIGN A DRINK* FOR YUO.









*Drinkability not guaranteed.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Eater of Clowns on January 11, 2011, 09:45:28 PM
 :)
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Jasper on January 11, 2011, 09:46:47 PM
Yes please!
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 11, 2011, 09:54:31 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on January 11, 2011, 09:45:28 PM
:)

I call this one "The Dispatcher".

1 part Bourbon
1 part Ginger Ale
Splash Dry Vermouth
Dash bitters ---to keep your mouth shut when you receive dumb calls.


Quote from: Sigmatic on January 11, 2011, 09:46:47 PM
Yes please!

You like beer. You like dark beer. So I give you...

The "Sigmatic"

2 parts dark beer, like a doppelbock
1 part Crown Royal
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Adios on January 11, 2011, 09:55:40 PM
Nothing sweet, please.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Jasper on January 11, 2011, 09:56:05 PM
OH SHIT

You can DO that?!

I love it!
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 11, 2011, 09:56:54 PM
Quote from: Sigmatic on January 11, 2011, 09:56:05 PM
OH SHIT

You can DO that?!

I love it!

You absolutely can. Crown is a bit sweet for a whiskey, so it accents the flavor of a meaty wheat beer nicely. Be easy on them though.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 11, 2011, 10:05:01 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on January 11, 2011, 09:55:40 PM
Nothing sweet, please.

Hmm...

There is a drink called the "Charlie Brown" which consists of Cognac, Drambuie, and Dark Cacao liqueur, but you don't want sweet, so that exnays anything liqueur.

But...you seem like a classy gent who enjoys his aperitifs, so Cognac is a good starter, but it really only mixes well with sweet, however...

"Charley's in Manhattan"

Take a martini class, splash with sweet vermouth, let excess drip out
Rim glass with natural lime juice
1 part Jack Daniels

Serve at room temp. Do NOT chill glass or whiskey.

TRUST me on the lime, it's better than bitters.


Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on January 11, 2011, 10:07:04 PM
I'm underage! :banana:

Booze me plz :mrgreen:
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Sister Fracture on January 11, 2011, 10:08:27 PM
What about me?
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 11, 2011, 10:09:15 PM
Quote from: Cainad on January 11, 2011, 10:07:04 PM
I'm underage! :banana:

Booze me plz :mrgreen:

Cola. Straight up. Until your old enough.

Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 11, 2011, 10:11:49 PM
Quote from: Sister Fracture on January 11, 2011, 10:08:27 PM
What about me?

"Freeky need some Mommy Time"

1 Part Sailor Jerry Rum
1 Part Malibu Coconut Rum
1 Part Orange Juice
Splash of Blue Curacao for color
Splash Cranberry

(If done right by a good bartender, they can layer the colors for fun girly effects)

Enjoy your 1/2 hour on the beach!  8)
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Richter on January 11, 2011, 10:12:58 PM
Barkeep, drink please!
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Adios on January 11, 2011, 10:14:24 PM
Quote from: Suu on January 11, 2011, 10:05:01 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on January 11, 2011, 09:55:40 PM
Nothing sweet, please.

Hmm...

There is a drink called the "Charlie Brown" which consists of Cognac, Drambuie, and Dark Cacao liqueur, but you don't want sweet, so that exnays anything liqueur.

But...you seem like a classy gent who enjoys his aperitifs, so Cognac is a good starter, but it really only mixes well with sweet, however...

"Charley's in Manhattan"

Take a martini class, splash with sweet vermouth, let excess drip out
Rim glass with natural lime juice
1 part Jack Daniels

Serve at room temp. Do NOT chill glass or whiskey.

TRUST me on the lime, it's better than bitters.




That will damn sure work!
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Adios on January 11, 2011, 10:14:52 PM
Quote from: Suu on January 11, 2011, 10:09:15 PM
Quote from: Cainad on January 11, 2011, 10:07:04 PM
I'm underage! :banana:

Booze me plz :mrgreen:

Cola. Straight up. Until your old enough.



Post of the year.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 11, 2011, 10:17:32 PM
Quote from: Richter on January 11, 2011, 10:12:58 PM
Barkeep, drink please!

Right away sir!

"The Richter-Scale Martini"

1 chilled cocktail class rimmed with Cholula with a Chinese hot pepper in the bottom
1 part super chilled Bombay Sapphire gin or higher shelf
Splash Grandmarnier

Yeouch.


Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Eater of Clowns on January 11, 2011, 10:21:03 PM
I'll take the Dispatcher, mmm.

Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Phox on January 11, 2011, 10:21:37 PM
Phox needs the adult beverages.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Richter on January 11, 2011, 10:22:59 PM
Quote from: Suu on January 11, 2011, 10:17:32 PM
Quote from: Richter on January 11, 2011, 10:12:58 PM
Barkeep, drink please!

Right away sir!

"The Richter-Scale Martini"

1 chilled cocktail class rimmed with Cholula with a Chinese hot pepper in the bottom
1 part super chilled Bombay Sapphire gin or higher shelf
Splash Grandmarnier

Yeouch.




I'll actually try that.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 11, 2011, 10:24:12 PM
Quote from: Richter on January 11, 2011, 10:22:59 PM
Quote from: Suu on January 11, 2011, 10:17:32 PM
Quote from: Richter on January 11, 2011, 10:12:58 PM
Barkeep, drink please!

Right away sir!

"The Richter-Scale Martini"

1 chilled cocktail class rimmed with Cholula with a Chinese hot pepper in the bottom
1 part super chilled Bombay Sapphire gin or higher shelf
Splash Grandmarnier

Yeouch.




I'll actually try that.

I know.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 11, 2011, 10:27:03 PM
Quote from: Doktor Phox on January 11, 2011, 10:21:37 PM
Phox needs the adult beverages.

"Phoxarita"

1 part Sauza Hornitos
1 part Cointreau
1 part Frangelico
1 Part Apple Pucker

Serve over ice or frozen in a margarita glass rimmed with brown sugar. It should kinda taste like a warm apple pie by the time it hits the back of your throat.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Phox on January 11, 2011, 10:42:29 PM
Quote from: Suu on January 11, 2011, 10:27:03 PM
Quote from: Doktor Phox on January 11, 2011, 10:21:37 PM
Phox needs the adult beverages.

"Phoxarita"

1 part Sauza Hornitos
1 part Cointreau
1 part Frangelico
1 Part Apple Pucker

Serve over ice or frozen in a margarita glass rimmed with brown sugar. It should kinda taste like a warm apple pie by the time it hits the back of your throat.

I will judge this. I will let you know what I determine.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 11, 2011, 10:43:27 PM
Quote from: Doktor Phox on January 11, 2011, 10:42:29 PM
Quote from: Suu on January 11, 2011, 10:27:03 PM
Quote from: Doktor Phox on January 11, 2011, 10:21:37 PM
Phox needs the adult beverages.

"Phoxarita"

1 part Sauza Hornitos
1 part Cointreau
1 part Frangelico
1 Part Apple Pucker

Serve over ice or frozen in a margarita glass rimmed with brown sugar. It should kinda taste like a warm apple pie by the time it hits the back of your throat.

I will judge this. I will let you know what I determine.

I can't make guarantees on lesser tequilas. There's something awesome about Hornitos in margaritas.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on January 11, 2011, 10:45:48 PM
Quote from: Suu on January 11, 2011, 10:09:15 PM
Quote from: Cainad on January 11, 2011, 10:07:04 PM
I'm underage! :banana:

Booze me plz :mrgreen:

Cola. Straight up. Until your old enough.



:box: :rogpipe: :FFF: :hashishim: :jihaad: :mccain:




:fuckmittens:



Cainad,
gone a little emote-happy, it seems
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 11, 2011, 10:50:01 PM
I have a liquor license to up hold, man! Wait a few more months.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Phox on January 11, 2011, 10:50:49 PM
Quote from: Suu on January 11, 2011, 10:43:27 PM
Quote from: Doktor Phox on January 11, 2011, 10:42:29 PM
Quote from: Suu on January 11, 2011, 10:27:03 PM
Quote from: Doktor Phox on January 11, 2011, 10:21:37 PM
Phox needs the adult beverages.

"Phoxarita"

1 part Sauza Hornitos
1 part Cointreau
1 part Frangelico
1 Part Apple Pucker

Serve over ice or frozen in a margarita glass rimmed with brown sugar. It should kinda taste like a warm apple pie by the time it hits the back of your throat.

I will judge this. I will let you know what I determine.

I can't make guarantees on lesser tequilas. There's something awesome about Hornitos in margaritas.

I do not wish for lesser tequilas. However, this will take more financial investment than I  am currently able to make. BUT THERE WILL COME A DAY SOON!
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: leln on January 11, 2011, 10:52:46 PM
Oooh, this sounds like fun. What do I get?
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 11, 2011, 11:00:22 PM
Quote from: leln on January 11, 2011, 10:52:46 PM
Oooh, this sounds like fun. What do I get?

You like rum.

"Leln's Angry Librarian"

1 part Gosling's 151 Black Rum
1 part Kahlua
Splash of Creme de Cacao

"It's coffee, damnit."
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: StochasticProvost on January 11, 2011, 11:18:18 PM
Drink me up! I tip well!
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: leln on January 11, 2011, 11:34:29 PM
Quote from: Suu on January 11, 2011, 11:00:22 PM
Quote from: leln on January 11, 2011, 10:52:46 PM
Oooh, this sounds like fun. What do I get?

You like rum.

"Leln's Angry Librarian"

1 part Gosling's 151 Black Rum
1 part Kahlua
Splash of Creme de Cacao

"It's coffee, damnit."

:lulz:

That would be quite the concoction, suitable for getting one through the days when the tedium outweighs the awesome that old books can be. But still, 151? Are you trying to kill me? Though I suppose if worse comes to worse it would be fun to experiment with putting it in a chocolate milkshake, coffee or over ice cream. I now have ideas for my next trip to the liquor store, thanks!
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Jenne on January 12, 2011, 12:31:27 AM
Ha!  Barkeep!  I'll take what you're slingin' over there!
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 12, 2011, 01:12:41 AM
Quote from: MisterDiskord on January 11, 2011, 11:18:18 PM
Drink me up! I tip well!

I don't know you that well yet.

Here's a Budweiser for your lady troubles.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 12, 2011, 01:18:51 AM
Quote from: Jenne on January 12, 2011, 12:31:27 AM
Ha!  Barkeep!  I'll take what you're slingin' over there!

You're an adorable sophisticated girly-girl, but you also don't take shit, I can tell.

"Jenne's Cosmo on Crack"

Chilled Martini Glass rimmed with natural lime juice

2 parts Grey Goose Le Poire
1 part Chambord
1 part Cranberry Juice

Combine and shake with ice

Garnish with a lime wedge.

...Goddamn I want one of these now.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 12, 2011, 01:20:14 AM
Quote from: leln on January 11, 2011, 11:34:29 PM
Quote from: Suu on January 11, 2011, 11:00:22 PM
Quote from: leln on January 11, 2011, 10:52:46 PM
Oooh, this sounds like fun. What do I get?

You like rum.

"Leln's Angry Librarian"

1 part Gosling's 151 Black Rum
1 part Kahlua
Splash of Creme de Cacao

"It's coffee, damnit."

:lulz:

That would be quite the concoction, suitable for getting one through the days when the tedium outweighs the awesome that old books can be. But still, 151? Are you trying to kill me? Though I suppose if worse comes to worse it would be fun to experiment with putting it in a chocolate milkshake, coffee or over ice cream. I now have ideas for my next trip to the liquor store, thanks!

Serve it in a martini glass instead of a high ball. You won't drink it as fast and you'll pour less alcohol.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 12, 2011, 01:22:53 AM
Also, if I get enough of these, I may just have to publish a book.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Rumckle on January 12, 2011, 01:23:21 AM
Ooh, something without fancy stuff please, good alcohol is too expensive for me :(
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: StochasticProvost on January 12, 2011, 01:23:39 AM
At least you didn't spit in it. I think. I'm moving up around here... maybe next time I'll get something with actual alcohol content.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Juana on January 12, 2011, 01:29:02 AM
Can has?
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 12, 2011, 01:48:14 AM
Quote from: Rumckle on January 12, 2011, 01:23:21 AM
Ooh, something without fancy stuff please, good alcohol is too expensive for me :(

You're Australian. You get this.

(http://steelkaleidoscopes.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/08/21/fosters.gif)

But I suppose I could treat you to something. I'm not sure what brand you get down there, being upside down and all.

1 bottle of Well's Banana Bread Beer
1 bottle of Young's Double Chocolate Stout
1 Banana
Vanilla ice cream.

Blend.

:D

Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 12, 2011, 01:50:52 AM
Quote from: MisterDiskord on January 12, 2011, 01:23:39 AM
At least you didn't spit in it. I think. I'm moving up around here... maybe next time I'll get something with actual alcohol content.

Let me up the ante then:

(http://www.brewdog.com/media/beers/tnp/bottle.jpg)

It's 32%.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 12, 2011, 01:54:02 AM
Quote from: Hover Cat on January 12, 2011, 01:29:02 AM
Can has?

"Hovering Orange Cat"

1 Part Stoli Oranj
1 Part Orange Juice
Splash Campari
Dash Bitters

It's like a screwdriver, only with a zing.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: StochasticProvost on January 12, 2011, 02:00:28 AM
Quote from: Suu on January 12, 2011, 01:48:14 AM
1 bottle of Well's Banana Bread Beer
1 bottle of Young's Double Chocolate Stout
1 Banana
Vanilla ice cream.

Blend.

:D



OOOOOOOOHHHHHHH.

ETA: And also, thanks for the upgrade! Surely it will help me get through this oncoming SNOWPOCALYPSE!!!111
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 12, 2011, 02:03:26 AM
Quote from: MisterDiskord on January 12, 2011, 02:00:28 AM
Quote from: Suu on January 12, 2011, 01:48:14 AM
1 bottle of Well's Banana Bread Beer
1 bottle of Young's Double Chocolate Stout
1 Banana
Vanilla ice cream.

Blend.

:D



OOOOOOOOHHHHHHH.

ETA: And also, thanks for the upgrade! Surely it will help me get through this oncoming SNOWPOCALYPSE!!!111

I actually HAVE tried the Well's/Young's combo as a black and tan. It's like sex for dessert. In beer form. Adding the banana and ice cream would just make it that much more awesome, that is, if your stomach can take the milk and beer combo.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Juana on January 12, 2011, 02:04:50 AM
Quote from: Suu on January 12, 2011, 01:54:02 AM
Quote from: Hover Cat on January 12, 2011, 01:29:02 AM
Can has?

"Hovering Orange Cat"

1 Part Stoli Oranj
1 Part Orange Juice
Splash Campari
Dash Bitters

It's like a screwdriver, only with a zing.
Sounds good. I'm going to try this soon. :D
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 12, 2011, 02:29:45 AM
I don't use Campari much, it's a weird aperitif. It does mix well with juices, so let me know what you think!
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Rumckle on January 12, 2011, 02:42:50 AM
Quote from: Suu on January 12, 2011, 01:48:14 AM
Quote from: Rumckle on January 12, 2011, 01:23:21 AM
Ooh, something without fancy stuff please, good alcohol is too expensive for me :(

You're Australian. You get this.

(http://steelkaleidoscopes.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/08/21/fosters.gif)


:vom:


Quote from: Suu on January 12, 2011, 01:48:14 AM
1 bottle of Well's Banana Bread Beer
1 bottle of Young's Double Chocolate Stout
1 Banana
Vanilla ice cream.

Blend.

:D



That sounds very nice, I'll have to look out for some Well's
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 12, 2011, 02:43:51 AM
It's an English brand. I figure if we can get it here in the colonies, you certainly can get it down there in the jail.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Rumckle on January 12, 2011, 02:48:19 AM
Maybe, I'll keep an eye out for it when I'm in Europe though.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Triple Zero on January 12, 2011, 01:34:55 PM
Suuuuuuuuuuu can I please have a cocktail?
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 12, 2011, 01:53:51 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on January 12, 2011, 01:34:55 PM
Suuuuuuuuuuu can I please have a cocktail?

"Triple Zero's Triple Sec Tea"

2 parts Stoli
1 part Triple Sec, the alcoholic kind
1/2 part Grandmarnier
1/2 part Sour Mix
Splash cola for color

8)
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Adios on January 12, 2011, 02:45:39 PM
Do you have a variation of an Old Fashioned?
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Jenne on January 12, 2011, 03:07:38 PM
Quote from: Suu on January 12, 2011, 01:18:51 AM
Quote from: Jenne on January 12, 2011, 12:31:27 AM
Ha!  Barkeep!  I'll take what you're slingin' over there!

You're an adorable sophisticated girly-girl, but you also don't take shit, I can tell.

"Jenne's Cosmo on Crack"

Chilled Martini Glass rimmed with natural lime juice

2 parts Grey Goose Le Poire
1 part Chambord
1 part Cranberry Juice

Combine and shake with ice

Garnish with a lime wedge.

...Goddamn I want one of these now.

Fuck.  YEAH.  LOVE this and having one THIS WEEKEND.  Hells to the yea-yeah!  :D 

Thanks, Suu.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Adios on January 12, 2011, 03:09:57 PM
Haz sore throat. Need hot toddy.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Jenne on January 12, 2011, 03:16:47 PM
Quote from: Suu on January 12, 2011, 02:29:45 AM
I don't use Campari much, it's a weird aperitif. It does mix well with juices, so let me know what you think!

My mom says it's supposed to be blood-orange flavored, but I never was able to get that taste out of it.  So now I have to experiment.

These are awesome, Suu!
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 12, 2011, 03:33:59 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on January 12, 2011, 03:09:57 PM
Haz sore throat. Need hot toddy.

"Snowed-In Irish Breakfast Tea"

In a coffee mug, muddle fresh ginger and an orange slice as you would an Old Fashioned, coat the muddled fruit with honey.

Add 1 part Jameson's and 2 parts hot black tea.

Sip slowly to soothe the throat and flip off the snowstorm regularly.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Adios on January 12, 2011, 03:35:08 PM
Quote from: Suu on January 12, 2011, 03:33:59 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on January 12, 2011, 03:09:57 PM
Haz sore throat. Need hot toddy.

"Snowed-In Irish Breakfast Tea"

In an coffee mug, bruise fresh ginger and an orange slice as you would an Old Fashioned, coat the bruised fruit with honey.

Add 1 part Jameson's and 2 parts hot black tea.

Sip slowly to soothe the throat and flip off the snowstorm regularly.

I think I love you.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 12, 2011, 03:39:17 PM
I've never actually been to bartending school, btw. My mom was a bartender for 25 years, she taught me a lot and I followed suit. I just never got as much time behind the bar as I wanted to and always got stuck serving.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Adios on January 12, 2011, 03:42:06 PM
Quote from: Suu on January 12, 2011, 03:39:17 PM
I've never actually been to bartending school, btw. My mom was a bartender for 25 years, she taught me a lot and I followed suit. I just never got as much time behind the bar as I wanted to and always got stuck serving.

Having owned two bars I have tended bar quite a bit. It was always in redneck country though, so nothing fancy. Bud was always my biggest seller by a 4 -1 margin.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: LMNO on January 12, 2011, 03:57:04 PM
I'm interested in seeing what you'd come up with for me.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Triple Zero on January 12, 2011, 04:01:34 PM
YUM STOLI :D THANKS

SUU KNOWS WHAT VODKA I LIKE :D :D

Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 12, 2011, 04:10:19 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on January 12, 2011, 03:57:04 PM
I'm interested in seeing what you'd come up with for me.

"Alphapance's XXX Extra Dirty Martini"

Instead of vermouth, splash a chilled Martini glass with Harpoon IPA or equivalent. Roll the beer around in the glass and pour off the excess.

Skewer 3 olives and place in the bottom of the glass

In a cocktail shaker, pour 2 parts of extra cold Bombay Sapphire and 1 part olive brine. Stir. (YOU DO NOT SHAKE ALREADY CHILLED GIN.)

Pour into glass and serve with a penis-shaped straw.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: LMNO on January 12, 2011, 04:16:31 PM
Heh.  My first impulse is "GAK", but I'll give it a shot when I get a chance.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 12, 2011, 04:17:38 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on January 12, 2011, 04:16:31 PM
Heh.  My first impulse is "GAK", but I'll give it a shot when I get a chance.

Do you not like dirty martinis? I can come up with something else. All the beer does is add to the dryness that vermouth would do anyway, and it's literally just a couple of drops.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on January 12, 2011, 05:57:52 PM
okay so trying this again...

My Legally Designated Day of Being Allowed To Drink Alcohol occurs in July of this year, which means I will be of age by the time Day of Discord August 23rd, 2011 rolls around.

So, what sort of cocktail should I anticipate on that day?
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 12, 2011, 06:33:06 PM
Quote from: Cainad on January 12, 2011, 05:57:52 PM
okay so trying this again...

My Legally Designated Day of Being Allowed To Drink Alcohol occurs in July of this year, which means I will be of age by the time Day of Discord August 23rd, 2011 rolls around.

So, what sort of cocktail should I anticipate on that day?

On that day, you need one of these:

"Cainad's Virginity"

1 Part Smirnoff Vodka
1 Part Cuervo 1800 Gold
1 Part Apple Juice
1 Part Cranberry Juice
Splash Ginger Ale for fizz
Splash Rose's Lime


Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on January 12, 2011, 06:38:38 PM
Quote from: Suu on January 12, 2011, 06:33:06 PM
Quote from: Cainad on January 12, 2011, 05:57:52 PM
okay so trying this again...

My Legally Designated Day of Being Allowed To Drink Alcohol occurs in July of this year, which means I will be of age by the time Day of Discord August 23rd, 2011 rolls around.

So, what sort of cocktail should I anticipate on that day?

On that day, you need one of these:

"Cainad's Virginity"

:spit:

I fucking :lulz: 'd for real. And that sounds pretty good, actually. Saving that.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Jenne on January 12, 2011, 07:50:56 PM
Quote from: Suu on January 12, 2011, 06:33:06 PM
Quote from: Cainad on January 12, 2011, 05:57:52 PM
okay so trying this again...

My Legally Designated Day of Being Allowed To Drink Alcohol occurs in July of this year, which means I will be of age by the time Day of Discord August 23rd, 2011 rolls around.

So, what sort of cocktail should I anticipate on that day?

On that day, you need one of these:

"Cainad's Virginity"

1 Part Smirnoff Vodka
1 Part Cuervo 1800 Gold
1 Part Apple Juice
1 Part Cranberry Juice
Splash Ginger Ale for fizz
Splash Rose's Lime



:mittens: :potd:
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Adios on January 12, 2011, 07:58:13 PM
Please tell me you are putting these all together.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 12, 2011, 08:00:46 PM
Seriously. I'm putting these into a book.

"Drinks for Spags: A Discordian Bar Buddy"
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Jenne on January 12, 2011, 08:13:16 PM
Amen Sistah.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on January 12, 2011, 08:23:00 PM
me please Suu! Please to be noting that coffee and almond flavours are :vom: to a Pixie.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 12, 2011, 08:45:43 PM
Quote from: Rainy Day Pixie on January 12, 2011, 08:23:00 PM
me please Suu! Please to be noting that coffee and almond flavours are :vom: to a Pixie.

You got it.

"Pixie's Purple Punkrawk Punch"

2 parts 3 Olives Purple Vodka (It's REALLY purple!)
1/2 part Strawberry Pucker
1/2 part Chambord
Splash Mint schnapps
Splash Ginger Ale


I'd combine the vodka, Chambord, Pucker, and schnapps into a shaker with some ice and pour it into a highball. Then hit it with the ginger ale to give it some sparkle. Then garnish with a blood orange for an exotic look. It will taste very purple with a little tingle of mint. It could be nice frozen in the summer.

Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on January 12, 2011, 09:06:32 PM
Quote from: Suu on January 12, 2011, 08:45:43 PM
Quote from: Rainy Day Pixie on January 12, 2011, 08:23:00 PM
me please Suu! Please to be noting that coffee and almond flavours are :vom: to a Pixie.

You got it.

"Pixie's Purple Punkrawk Punch"

2 parts 3 Olives Purple Vodka (It's REALLY purple!)
1/2 part Strawberry Pucker
1/2 part Chambord
Splash Mint schnapps
Splash Ginger Ale


I'd combine the vodka, Chambord, Pucker, and schnapps into a shaker with some ice and pour it into a highball. Then hit it with the ginger ale to give it some sparkle. Then garnish with a blood orange for an exotic look. It will taste very purple with a little tingle of mint. It could be nice frozen in the summer.



I'd maybe slap some actual mint in thar too, like inna mojito
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 12, 2011, 09:12:45 PM
Quote from: Rainy Day Pixie on January 12, 2011, 09:06:32 PM
Quote from: Suu on January 12, 2011, 08:45:43 PM
Quote from: Rainy Day Pixie on January 12, 2011, 08:23:00 PM
me please Suu! Please to be noting that coffee and almond flavours are :vom: to a Pixie.

You got it.

"Pixie's Purple Punkrawk Punch"

2 parts 3 Olives Purple Vodka (It's REALLY purple!)
1/2 part Strawberry Pucker
1/2 part Chambord
Splash Mint schnapps
Splash Ginger Ale


I'd combine the vodka, Chambord, Pucker, and schnapps into a shaker with some ice and pour it into a highball. Then hit it with the ginger ale to give it some sparkle. Then garnish with a blood orange for an exotic look. It will taste very purple with a little tingle of mint. It could be nice frozen in the summer.



I'd maybe slap some actual mint in thar too, like inna mojito

Oh HELL yeah.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on January 12, 2011, 09:15:33 PM
Ok Bartender, whatcha got?
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 12, 2011, 09:36:19 PM
Quote from: Ratatosk on January 12, 2011, 09:15:33 PM
Ok Bartender, whatcha got?

Strawberry Surprise!


I mean...

"The Squirrel of Discord"

1 part Kahlua Hazelnut
1 part Malibu Coconut Rum
1/2 part Frangelico
1/2 part Disaronno Amaretto
Splash Bailey's Irish Cream

Serve over ice.  8)
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Precious Moments Zalgo on January 12, 2011, 10:48:11 PM
Got anything for Mrs. Zappathruster?  She likes drinks that taste like candy.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 13, 2011, 12:24:41 AM
Quote from: Pastor-Mullah Zappathruster on January 12, 2011, 10:48:11 PM
Got anything for Mrs. Zappathruster?  She likes drinks that taste like candy.

"Zappathrustah Jolly Ranchah-Tini"



2 parts Smirnoff Watermelon Twist
1 part Watermelon Pucker
Splash Sour Mix


Shake together with ice, strain and serve into a chilled martini glass rimmed with sugar. Use grenadine to rim glass instead of Rose's Lime for a pink look.

Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Precious Moments Zalgo on January 13, 2011, 12:47:54 AM
Quote from: Suu on January 13, 2011, 12:24:41 AM
Quote from: Pastor-Mullah Zappathruster on January 12, 2011, 10:48:11 PM
Got anything for Mrs. Zappathruster?  She likes drinks that taste like candy.

"Zappathrustah Jolly Ranchah-Tini"



2 parts Smirnoff Watermelon Twist
1 part Watermelon Pucker
Splash Sour Mix


Shake together with ice, strain and serve into a chilled martini glass rimmed with sugar. Use grenadine to rim glass instead of Rose's Lime for a pink look.


Thanks.  I'll try it out and see how she likes it.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 13, 2011, 01:09:17 AM
Sweet. I'm winging all of these so if they suck...whoops.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on January 13, 2011, 03:57:51 AM
Whaddya got for a cranky old Squid?
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 13, 2011, 04:19:50 AM
Quote from: Sir Squid Diddimus on January 13, 2011, 03:57:51 AM
Whaddya got for a cranky old Squid?

You require special thought and probably something with fire. I'll see what I can come up with tomorrow.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on January 13, 2011, 04:22:55 AM
SPECIAL REQUEST

So I have a friend who is not a registered PD.commie, but I have word that she sometimes lurks here

now normally I would not ask you to make one for "some random lurkerspag friend of mine", Suu, except that this particular friend is one of the other few Jethro Tull fans in existence. Pretty pwease? (and yes, she's 21)


Note: she dislikes vodka.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Don Coyote on January 13, 2011, 04:25:32 AM
This thread is full of win.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: BadBeast on January 13, 2011, 06:16:25 AM
Something substantial, preferably involving Absinthe for BadBeast?
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: BadBeast on January 13, 2011, 06:17:24 AM
Quote from: Don Coyooooote on January 13, 2011, 04:25:32 AM
This thread is full of win Alcoholics.
Fixt
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: LMNO on January 13, 2011, 01:27:15 PM
Quote from: Cainad on January 13, 2011, 04:22:55 AM
SPECIAL REQUEST

So I have a friend who is not a registered PD.commie, but I have word that she sometimes lurks here

now normally I would not ask you to make one for "some random lurkerspag friend of mine", Suu, except that this particular friend is one of the other few Jethro Tull fans in existence. Pretty pwease? (and yes, she's 21)


Note: she dislikes vodka.

Quaaludes over ice.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Cain on January 13, 2011, 02:28:58 PM
Mine should be fairly easy. 

I still need to try that sandwich you designed for me, as well.  Maybe I shall have them both, together.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 13, 2011, 02:32:50 PM
Quote from: Sir Squid Diddimus on January 13, 2011, 03:57:51 AM
Whaddya got for a cranky old Squid?


"The Bloody Squid"

1 part Hot V8
1 part Clamato
1/2 part vodka
Splash olive brine
Splash Tabasco
Dash Thai fish sauce
Dash Bitters
Lime wedge

This sounds disgusting. Enjoy!
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 13, 2011, 02:33:06 PM
Quote from: Cain on January 13, 2011, 02:28:58 PM
Mine should be fairly easy. 

I still need to try that sandwich you designed for me, as well.  Maybe I shall have them both, together.

The sandwich was Pixie.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: LMNO on January 13, 2011, 02:34:06 PM
Quote from: Cain on January 13, 2011, 02:28:58 PM
Mine should be fairly easy.  

I still need to try that sandwich you designed for me, as well.  Maybe I shall have them both, together.


Suu will probably come up with something wonderful, because of Quantum.

However, I will never forget the story you once told about going into a pub and casually ordering "a pint of scotch".  
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Cain on January 13, 2011, 02:36:24 PM
Quote from: Suu on January 13, 2011, 02:33:06 PM
Quote from: Cain on January 13, 2011, 02:28:58 PM
Mine should be fairly easy. 

I still need to try that sandwich you designed for me, as well.  Maybe I shall have them both, together.

The sandwich was Pixie.

Oops, my bad.

Still, I shall have them together.  Maybe Cram can start a tailor made dessert thread, so I can turn it into a PD dinner.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Cain on January 13, 2011, 02:37:02 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on January 13, 2011, 02:34:06 PM
Quote from: Cain on January 13, 2011, 02:28:58 PM
Mine should be fairly easy.  

I still need to try that sandwich you designed for me, as well.  Maybe I shall have them both, together.


Suu will probably come up with something wonderful, because of Quantum.

However, I will never forget the story you once told about going into a pub and casually ordering "a pint of scotch".  

I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those meddling kids.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 13, 2011, 02:42:26 PM
Quote from: Cainad on January 13, 2011, 04:22:55 AM
SPECIAL REQUEST

So I have a friend who is not a registered PD.commie, but I have word that she sometimes lurks here

now normally I would not ask you to make one for "some random lurkerspag friend of mine", Suu, except that this particular friend is one of the other few Jethro Tull fans in existence. Pretty pwease? (and yes, she's 21)


Note: she dislikes vodka.

"

1/2 shot Bacardi Silver
1/2 shot Tanqueray Gin
1/2 shot Cuervo Gold
1/2 shot Granmarnier
1/2 shot Chambord

Shake the liquors together with ice and pour into a highball glass.

Then add:

Splash Blue Curacao or Island Blue Pucker
Splash Green Apple Pucker
Splash Strawberry Pucker

DO NOT STIR. You want the colors to be chunky and vibrant.

Note: This is ALL ALCOHOL and will make her 3x the legal limit if she consumes the whole thing in less than an hour. I would strongly recommend adding ginger ale or 7-Up to cut it a bit and add a bit of fizz before adding the Puckers.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: LMNO on January 13, 2011, 02:44:44 PM
...




Rum, gin, tequila, orange and currant liquor, and flavored schnapps?




I feel I should either run away in horror, or start singing "It's Raining Men".
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 13, 2011, 02:48:00 PM
Quote from: Don Coyooooote on January 13, 2011, 04:25:32 AM
This thread is full of win.

"The Coyote Ugly"

1 shot Grey Goose
Splash flat water
Splash sour mix
Dash Tabasco

Serve over ice in an Old Fashioned glass.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 13, 2011, 02:50:53 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on January 13, 2011, 02:44:44 PM
...




Rum, gin, tequila, orange and currant liquor, and flavored schnapps?




I feel I should either run away in horror, or start singing "It's Raining Men".

It's essentially a Grateful Dead, sans vodka and triple sec and "supplemented" with other things. For a girly cocktail, that will put someone on the floor.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 13, 2011, 02:54:44 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on January 13, 2011, 06:16:25 AM
Something substantial, preferably involving Absinthe for BadBeast?

Absinthe is tricky to work with, but let's see what I can do...It does go great with coffee but I think I can get a little bit more creative.

"The Bad Beast"

1 part Absolut Citron
1/2 part absinthe
1/2 part Drambuie
Splash soda water
Garnish with a lime wedge

Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: LMNO on January 13, 2011, 03:00:55 PM
I've had something called a "Wildwood" that was almost a Manhattan, but used absinthe instead of vermouth (and only a trace, at that), and used orange bitters instead of Angostura.  I think.  They went down easy.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: hooplala on January 13, 2011, 03:08:23 PM
Ooh!  How did I only see this thread now??
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 13, 2011, 03:08:33 PM
Quote from: Cain on January 13, 2011, 02:28:58 PM
Mine should be fairly easy. 

I still need to try that sandwich you designed for me, as well.  Maybe I shall have them both, together.

"The Cain"

1 part The Macallan 18
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 13, 2011, 03:16:35 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on January 13, 2011, 03:08:23 PM
Ooh!  How did I only see this thread now??

There already is a drink called the Hoopla, believe it or not. So I shall combine this with a mint julep.

"The Fine Southern Hoopla"

Muddle mint leaves and granulated sugar in the bottom of a highball glass
Add crushed ice

Pour over:
1/2 part Brandy
1/2 part Granmarnier
Splash lemon juice

Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 13, 2011, 03:17:56 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on January 13, 2011, 03:00:55 PM
I've had something called a "Wildwood" that was almost a Manhattan, but used absinthe instead of vermouth (and only a trace, at that), and used orange bitters instead of Angostura.  I think.  They went down easy.

When it comes to bitters, I always ask what people prefer. Angostura is nasty, but sometimes necessary.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on January 13, 2011, 04:00:30 PM
Quote from: Suu on January 13, 2011, 02:42:26 PM
Quote from: Cainad on January 13, 2011, 04:22:55 AM
SPECIAL REQUEST

So I have a friend who is not a registered PD.commie, but I have word that she sometimes lurks here

now normally I would not ask you to make one for "some random lurkerspag friend of mine", Suu, except that this particular friend is one of the other few Jethro Tull fans in existence. Pretty pwease? (and yes, she's 21)


Note: she dislikes vodka.

"

1/2 shot Bacardi Silver
1/2 shot Tanqueray Gin
1/2 shot Cuervo Gold
1/2 shot Granmarnier
1/2 shot Chambord

Shake the liquors together with ice and pour into a highball glass.

Then add:

Splash Blue Curacao or Island Blue Pucker
Splash Green Apple Pucker
Splash Strawberry Pucker

DO NOT STIR. You want the colors to be chunky and vibrant.

Note: This is ALL ALCOHOL and will make her 3x the legal limit if she consumes the whole thing in less than an hour. I would strongly recommend adding ginger ale or 7-Up to cut it a bit and add a bit of fizz before adding the Puckers.


Woooaaah

what's it called?
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Richter on January 13, 2011, 04:06:45 PM
"Drunken LARPer" unless I miss my guess.  :wink:
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 13, 2011, 04:09:02 PM
Quote from: Cainad on January 13, 2011, 04:00:30 PM
Quote from: Suu on January 13, 2011, 02:42:26 PM
Quote from: Cainad on January 13, 2011, 04:22:55 AM
SPECIAL REQUEST

So I have a friend who is not a registered PD.commie, but I have word that she sometimes lurks here

now normally I would not ask you to make one for "some random lurkerspag friend of mine", Suu, except that this particular friend is one of the other few Jethro Tull fans in existence. Pretty pwease? (and yes, she's 21)


Note: she dislikes vodka.

"

1/2 shot Bacardi Silver
1/2 shot Tanqueray Gin
1/2 shot Cuervo Gold
1/2 shot Granmarnier
1/2 shot Chambord

Shake the liquors together with ice and pour into a highball glass.

Then add:

Splash Blue Curacao or Island Blue Pucker
Splash Green Apple Pucker
Splash Strawberry Pucker

DO NOT STIR. You want the colors to be chunky and vibrant.

Note: This is ALL ALCOHOL and will make her 3x the legal limit if she consumes the whole thing in less than an hour. I would strongly recommend adding ginger ale or 7-Up to cut it a bit and add a bit of fizz before adding the Puckers.


Woooaaah

what's it called?

I shall call it...

"You're sitting on this stool for only another 45.2 minutes."
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: BadBeast on January 13, 2011, 04:17:51 PM
Quote from: Suu on January 13, 2011, 02:54:44 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on January 13, 2011, 06:16:25 AM
Something substantial, preferably involving Absinthe for BadBeast?

Absinthe is tricky to work with, but let's see what I can do...It does go great with coffee but I think I can get a little bit more creative.

"The Bad Beast"

1 part Absolut Citron
1/2 part absinthe
1/2 part Drambuie
Splash soda water
Garnish with a lime wedge


The talents of the very best of any barstaff, in comparison with the rare quality you bring to the job, equates approximately to what Avril Lavigne has contributed to the Music Industry, when compared with what Janis Joplin left for us. And I mean that from the bottom of my Glass!  
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 13, 2011, 04:19:07 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on January 13, 2011, 04:17:51 PM
Quote from: Suu on January 13, 2011, 02:54:44 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on January 13, 2011, 06:16:25 AM
Something substantial, preferably involving Absinthe for BadBeast?

Absinthe is tricky to work with, but let's see what I can do...It does go great with coffee but I think I can get a little bit more creative.

"The Bad Beast"

1 part Absolut Citron
1/2 part absinthe
1/2 part Drambuie
Splash soda water
Garnish with a lime wedge


The talents of the very best of any barstaff, in comparison with the rare quality you bring to the job, equates approximately to what Avril Lavigne has contributed to the Music Industry, when compared with what Janis Joplin left for us. And I mean that from the bottom of my Glass!  

:thanks:
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 13, 2011, 04:23:51 PM
BTW, for me to publish this book. I will need the following:

Before and after shots
Pictures of the mixed drinks
Testimonials
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: hooplala on January 13, 2011, 05:13:07 PM
You never fail to impress, Suu.

For before and after, do you want an empty glass and the finished drink, or the finished drink and an empty glass?
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Cramulus on January 13, 2011, 05:32:02 PM
Suuuu, tell me about the Cramulus :cheers:
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 13, 2011, 05:54:15 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on January 13, 2011, 05:13:07 PM
You never fail to impress, Suu.

For before and after, do you want an empty glass and the finished drink, or the finished drink and an empty glass?

I want what YOU looked like before and after consumption of the beverage. Creativity is encouraged.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 13, 2011, 06:45:01 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on January 13, 2011, 05:32:02 PM
Suuuu, tell me about the Cramulus :cheers:

"The Cramulus Enema"

1 handle of Popov Vodka
725mL bottle of Mt. Gay [Wango and Tango] Rum
1 Jug of Carlo Rossi Fortissimo
1 gallon of orange juice


Combine everything into a barrel. Put imbiber into barrel with libation, hose down with a fire hose prior to defenestration.


...Or you could, ya know, make it out of a vodka that isn't distilled from sweaty old Russian armpits in South Boston, and portion ingredients to a highball, but this sounds cooler.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Cramulus on January 13, 2011, 07:37:57 PM
 :lulz: that sounds absolutely wretched
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 13, 2011, 07:50:56 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on January 13, 2011, 07:37:57 PM
:lulz: that sounds absolutely wretched

It's like sangria.



....The Salazorian Sangria.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Jenne on January 13, 2011, 11:45:33 PM
Quote from: Suu on January 13, 2011, 03:16:35 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on January 13, 2011, 03:08:23 PM
Ooh!  How did I only see this thread now??

There already is a drink called the Hoopla, believe it or not. So I shall combine this with a mint julep.

"The Fine Southern Hoopla"

Muddle mint leaves and granulated sugar in the bottom of a highball glass
Add crushed ice

Pour over:
1/2 part Brandy
1/2 part Granmarnier
Splash lemon juice



Oshit.  I have all this RIGHT NOW.

I'm making myself a Southern Hoopla like NOW dammit. 
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Jenne on January 14, 2011, 12:06:40 AM
Ha!  See, this is what happens when I have all my work cancelled for half the week:

Fresh mint from the backyard (don't mind the leeks growing up in between--it's an old battle between the two plants in this planter, I can't be arsed to change it for now...):
(http://i64.photobucket.com/albums/h183/Jenne73/freshmint.jpg)

Ingredients are assembled for the Southern Hoopla a la Suu:
(http://i64.photobucket.com/albums/h183/Jenne73/addembledingredients.jpg)

Don't forget the splash of lemon juice (I am partial to fresh since we have a tree out back, might as well...):
(http://i64.photobucket.com/albums/h183/Jenne73/addlemon.jpg)

And VOILA!
(http://i64.photobucket.com/albums/h183/Jenne73/finished.jpg)

Tastes yummy and STRONG!  Is a sipping drink.  Thanks, Suu!
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 14, 2011, 12:16:59 AM
It's actually good?  :lulz:

Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Jenne on January 14, 2011, 12:22:09 AM
Yeah.  It's a sorta orangey mojito-tasting thing.  But with brandy instead (which, depending on your rum preferences, might be smoother).  Anyway, I am about halfway done with it. 

Uh...dinner's gonna be late.  :lulz:
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 14, 2011, 12:36:23 AM
I may have something with this cocktail book yet!
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Jenne on January 14, 2011, 12:40:27 AM
Hey, if you can figure out what the HELL I can use all this Blackberry Brandy I have, I'd appreciate it.  See, before my dad was taken, we uh LIQUIDATED his bar for this practice golf center he owned.  I ended up with like THREE bottles of goddamned BLACKBERRY brandy.  I searched the internet (years ago, but still) and no recipe I saw made any fucking sense as to drinkability or even utility of this shit.

I recently had a sangria with it in it that was cool...so beyond that, I'm STUCK.  Help?
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Triple Zero on January 14, 2011, 12:52:55 AM
Wow it's sure SUNNY where you are Jenne :D [kinda jealous, they should get that Spring stuff started soon]
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 14, 2011, 12:59:13 AM
Hmm...Blackberry brandy is one of those things that you have by itself when it's fuckall cold out.

You might be able to fix it with other fruity liquors like Cointreau/Grandma, Blue Curacao, etc, and it's fantastic in coffee. Try a coffee with it and amaretto and a bit of heavy cream.

Also, cola. Make blackberry brandy and coke!

You can also try baking with it.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Jenne on January 14, 2011, 01:07:22 AM
Quote from: Triple Zero on January 14, 2011, 12:52:55 AM
Wow it's sure SUNNY where you are Jenne :D [kinda jealous, they should get that Spring stuff started soon]

Is San Diego!  We are well-known for our year-round sunshine! :D
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Jenne on January 14, 2011, 01:08:00 AM
Quote from: Suu on January 14, 2011, 12:59:13 AM
Hmm...Blackberry brandy is one of those things that you have by itself when it's fuckall cold out.

You might be able to fix it with other fruity liquors like Cointreau/Grandma, Blue Curacao, etc, and it's fantastic in coffee. Try a coffee with it and amaretto and a bit of heavy cream.

Also, cola. Make blackberry brandy and coke!

You can also try baking with it.

Ah...all good ideas.  Ok, will try some at some point and get back to ya.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 14, 2011, 02:17:45 AM
Quote from: Suu on January 11, 2011, 09:44:01 PM
POST AND I WILL DESIGN A DRINK* FOR YUO.









*Drinkability not guaranteed.

*ahem*

The ingredients I have available are:

Diet stuff, store brand.
Orange juice.
Water.
Early Times bourbon
Orange fru-fru TGIF drink mix (just add ice)
Ice
Paint thinner.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 14, 2011, 02:20:17 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 14, 2011, 02:17:45 AM
Quote from: Suu on January 11, 2011, 09:44:01 PM
POST AND I WILL DESIGN A DRINK* FOR YUO.









*Drinkability not guaranteed.

*ahem*

The ingredients I have available are:

Diet stuff, store brand.
Orange juice.
Water.
Early Times bourbon
Orange fru-fru TGIF drink mix (just add ice)
Ice
Paint thinner.

What do you have in the spice cabinet?
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 14, 2011, 02:26:52 AM
Quote from: Suu on January 14, 2011, 02:20:17 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 14, 2011, 02:17:45 AM
Quote from: Suu on January 11, 2011, 09:44:01 PM
POST AND I WILL DESIGN A DRINK* FOR YUO.









*Drinkability not guaranteed.

*ahem*

The ingredients I have available are:

Diet stuff, store brand.
Orange juice.
Water.
Early Times bourbon
Orange fru-fru TGIF drink mix (just add ice)
Ice
Paint thinner.

What do you have in the spice cabinet?

Freeky lives with me.  Assume I have everything.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 14, 2011, 02:41:25 AM
Umm...


1 part bourbon
1 parts orange juice
shake in "about that much" nutmeg, clove, and cinnamon. Freeky should know how much that is.

It should kind of be like mulled cider, only of the orange juice kind.

Or:

Diet Cola and Bourbon


Or:

Bourbon, Paint thinner, and water over ice.


Stay away from that Creamsicle crap.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on January 14, 2011, 04:06:59 AM
Quote from: Suu on January 13, 2011, 02:32:50 PM
Quote from: Sir Squid Diddimus on January 13, 2011, 03:57:51 AM
Whaddya got for a cranky old Squid?


"The Bloody Squid"

1 part Hot V8
1 part Clamato
1/2 part vodka
Splash olive brine
Splash Tabasco
Dash Thai fish sauce
Dash Bitters
Lime wedge

This sounds disgusting. Enjoy!

THIS SOUNDS FUCKING AWFUL!!!! I'M GONNA THROW THIS INTO MY FACE AND HOPE THAT MY SKIN SOAKS UP THE ALCOHOL AND GETS ME DRUNK! I'LL BE SURE TO AVOID SEA GULLS AS I'M SURE THEY WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO RESIST THE STENCH!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 14, 2011, 12:38:11 PM
Quote from: Sir Squid Diddimus on January 14, 2011, 04:06:59 AM
Quote from: Suu on January 13, 2011, 02:32:50 PM
Quote from: Sir Squid Diddimus on January 13, 2011, 03:57:51 AM
Whaddya got for a cranky old Squid?


"The Bloody Squid"

1 part Hot V8
1 part Clamato
1/2 part vodka
Splash olive brine
Splash Tabasco
Dash Thai fish sauce
Dash Bitters
Lime wedge

This sounds disgusting. Enjoy!

THIS SOUNDS FUCKING AWFUL!!!! I'M GONNA THROW THIS INTO MY FACE AND HOPE THAT MY SKIN SOAKS UP THE ALCOHOL AND GETS ME DRUNK! I'LL BE SURE TO AVOID SEA GULLS AS I'M SURE THEY WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO RESIST THE STENCH!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

WOO!

Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Slyph on January 22, 2011, 03:46:55 PM
Can you suggest something where the primary ingredient is Plymouth gin? I want to mix it up a little. usually I either go for a martini of 3/1 Plymouth/noilly stirred with an olive, or a gimlet: 1 part plymouth 1 part rose's lime, shaken. I like them pretty simple. I mean, my second favourite drink is maker's and soda. That simple.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on January 23, 2011, 10:36:44 PM
Plymouth is it's own animal. I wouldn't do anything to it other than mix with your favorite tonic.

Plus, gin in itself is tricky.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on March 26, 2011, 04:45:40 AM
Blood for Blight! Blood for Blight!

(also, bump)
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Luna on March 26, 2011, 10:21:25 AM
You can post mine.   :D
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on March 26, 2011, 12:49:51 PM
Quote from: Luna on March 26, 2011, 10:21:25 AM
You can post mine.   :D

What the hell was your's again?

Oh, the "This is going to get me in trouble..."

2 parts Coconut Rum (We used Coconut Jack)
1 part Chambord
2 parts Orange Juice
Splash Ginger Ale

In a highball, combine and shake the first 3, and then add the ginger ale when finished for a bit o' fizz. This shit tastes like candy.

I recommend using a jigger to measure the alcohol, because it will smooth the edges of a free pour.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Suu on March 26, 2011, 01:03:19 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on March 26, 2011, 04:45:40 AM
Blood for Blight! Blood for Blight!

(also, bump)

Oh boy...

The Bloody Blight

2 parts potato vodka, if you demand luxury, get Chopin. If you don't care...well, it's your liver. Blue Ice American Vodka is distilled from Idaho's Russet Burbank Potato. I don't drink vodka, so you'll have to test it for yourself.
2 parts V-8 Original
1 part Cuervo 1800 SILVER (for the smokyness)
Splash Tobasco Chipotle
Splash Olive Brine
Dash Angostura Bitters

Shake contents and pour over ice into a Bloody Mary glass, or large highball tumbler. Optional to rim glass with lime juice (REAL, not Rose's!) before adding beverage.

Garnish: pierce an olive, lemon, lime, and smoked dried chili pepper (chipotle) with a toothpick, and place over glass. Celery leaves are optional if you're THAT KIND of Bloody Mary drinker. If you have the smokey scotch to waste, say like a Highland Park or other very peat-bog infused Islay delicacy, a splash of that in there would add to the flavor, but I can guarantee that nothing from Islay will be affordable enough to use even a splash, you're going to want to sip it yourself.



Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on March 26, 2011, 01:08:03 PM
Fuck yeah! This sounds like my kind of drink.

I'll garnish with the chipotle, and I hate celery in anything. That stuff is for rabbits.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Salty on March 26, 2011, 08:37:28 PM
Hit me!
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 26, 2011, 10:13:57 PM
But I don't drink alcohol. My beverage would probably end up some semi-frozen blend of Pepsi and NesQuik.
Title: Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
Post by: Sexecutioner Chao Tight on April 13, 2011, 05:55:35 AM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on March 26, 2011, 12:49:51 PM
Quote from: Luna on March 26, 2011, 10:21:25 AM
You can post mine.   :D

What the hell was your's again?

Oh, the "This is going to get me in trouble..."

2 parts Coconut Rum (We used Coconut Jack)
1 part Chambord
2 parts Orange Juice
Splash Ginger Ale

In a highball, combine and shake the first 3, and then add the ginger ale when finished for a bit o' fizz. This shit tastes like candy.

I recommend using a jigger to measure the alcohol, because it will smooth the edges of a free pour.
I usually make something like this... only 7Up for ginger ale and no Chambord... now I needs to get Chambord.  Yes, very much like candy only much more fun!