Even though you can't, you should.
I am going to tell you this over and over and over and over and over.
HELLO, MY NAME IS ALTY AND THE PLACE WHERE I LIVE DEFINES EVER SINGLE HUMAN INTERACTION I EXERIENCE.
PLEASE DO MAKE A DROP IN THE PITY PLATE ON YOUR WAY OUT.
*Posted for future use.
Okay, then.
Nearly every time I post something personal it goes back to that, here at PD. There are a few people that do it.
I would greatly appreciate it if I was talked to like the details of my life aren't just swept away under Alaska.
I'm not trying to shit on anyone or call individual people out.
Nope. You called me out.
Fuck off. Drown in that fucking hurricane, whatever. At this point, you'd be doing your depression a favor.
Hm.
Here's the thing. All of your interactions with other human beings seem to go very, very badly.
If it isn't due to a characteristic of the place you live and the people who surround you, there's only one other option. Is that the option you would prefer people default to? You might want to really think about that long and hard. Because maybe it ISN'T Alaska. In which case.
For what it's worth, everyone I know who has lived in Alaska says it's Alaska. But if you really don't want it to be Alaska, well. I don't know what to tell you.
And yet again, maybe it's that you are also part of Alaska and not only is everyone around you dysfunctional, you are as well.
What do you want people to say?
If you'd like my opinion, the best way to get people to stop telling you to get out of Alaska is...
leaving Alaska.
100% of people who leave Alaska stop getting people telling them to leave Alaska.
Quote from: The Suu on November 10, 2014, 12:23:13 AM
Nope. You called me out.
Fuck off. Drown in that fucking hurricane, whatever. At this point, you'd be doing your depression a favor.
Really?
Quote from: N E T on November 10, 2014, 08:07:24 AM
Quote from: The Suu on November 10, 2014, 12:23:13 AM
Nope. You called me out.
Fuck off. Drown in that fucking hurricane, whatever. At this point, you'd be doing your depression a favor.
Really?
Don't worry about it, Net. When people continue with a behavior that you've previously stated, reasonably and at length, you find obnoxious, YOU'RE the asshole for getting upset about it, and it's fine for them to imply that you should kill yourself.
ETA: The thread where Alty explains it:
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=35966.msg1319252#msg1319252 (http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=35966.msg1319252#msg1319252)
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on November 10, 2014, 02:30:43 AM
If you'd like my opinion, the best way to get people to stop telling you to get out of Alaska is...
leaving Alaska.
100% of people who leave Alaska stop getting people telling them to leave Alaska.
You should leave Alaska.
Cain,
breaker of all rules.
Quote from: Cain on November 10, 2014, 11:31:10 AM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on November 10, 2014, 02:30:43 AM
If you'd like my opinion, the best way to get people to stop telling you to get out of Alaska is...
leaving Alaska.
100% of people who leave Alaska stop getting people telling them to leave Alaska.
You should leave Alaska.
Cain,
breaker of all rules.
:lulz:
He totally flounced, and blocked me on FB, and Howl blocked him.
We're kinda beyond done.
It was very wrong to say what I did, but he hit a nerve last night I didn't know I had. I said one thing, as a rub, and he went off the handle. That's the last time I try being nice to him.
Quote from: The Suu on November 10, 2014, 11:44:09 AM
He totally flounced, and blocked me on FB, and Howl blocked him.
We're kinda beyond done.
It was very wrong to say what I did, but he hit a nerve last night I didn't know I had. I said one thing, as a rub, and he went off the handle. That's the last time I try being nice to him.
Show me where you see him "flying off the handle" please. Because I'm curious to know how much it takes for you to call him a whiny cunt, tell him to fuck off, and to nut up or shut up.
Are you referring to this thread? When other members of the board ask us not to do a certain behavior, such as Nigel with unsolicited advice, we generally stop. Alty, meanwhile, specifically asked everyone NOT TO DO THIS ONE THING and yet had it continue happening, time after time, for nearly a year.
I've clearly missed something by not being involved with social media, but I was working under the impression that Alty is a pretty solid guy. I'll stick for the meantime as I've got no idea what the fuck is actually happening.
Alty, Hope's all well and whatever isn't I hope improves.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on November 10, 2014, 11:53:02 AM
Quote from: The Suu on November 10, 2014, 11:44:09 AM
He totally flounced, and blocked me on FB, and Howl blocked him.
We're kinda beyond done.
It was very wrong to say what I did, but he hit a nerve last night I didn't know I had. I said one thing, as a rub, and he went off the handle. That's the last time I try being nice to him.
Show me where you see him "flying off the handle" please. Because I'm curious to know how much it takes for you to call him a whiny cunt, tell him to fuck off, and to nut up or shut up.
Are you referring to this thread? When other members of the board ask us not to do a certain behavior, such as Nigel with unsolicited advice, we generally stop. Alty, meanwhile, specifically asked everyone NOT TO DO THIS ONE THING and yet had it continue happening, time after time, for nearly a year.
I don't remember him ever telling anyone to not give him advice. If he didn't want replies, he shouldn't have fucking posted in the first place.
It takes A LOT to piss me off, A LOT. I'm no fucking saint on this board, but I was done. It came down to the Doktor and I talking via IM. I even tried to smooth shit over and tell him to chill out, offered him my number if he really needed to talk to someone, and I got blown off.
He doesn't want help, he wants an audience to his whining.
All of this is in Open Bar.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on November 10, 2014, 11:53:02 AM
Quote from: The Suu on November 10, 2014, 11:44:09 AM
He totally flounced, and blocked me on FB, and Howl blocked him.
We're kinda beyond done.
It was very wrong to say what I did, but he hit a nerve last night I didn't know I had. I said one thing, as a rub, and he went off the handle. That's the last time I try being nice to him.
Show me where you see him "flying off the handle" please. Because I'm curious to know how much it takes for you to call him a whiny cunt, tell him to fuck off, and to nut up or shut up.
Are you referring to this thread? When other members of the board ask us not to do a certain behavior, such as Nigel with unsolicited advice, we generally stop. Alty, meanwhile, specifically asked everyone NOT TO DO THIS ONE THING and yet had it continue happening, time after time, for nearly a year.
The bar thread. And, in my case, though I don't remember him saying that, this may be because he more or less refused to speak to me for 99% of the last year, ignoring my posts to him, etc.. I'd like to think that was an accident, because we both said we were sorry after our fight last year...But he hasn't acted like he wanted the friendship back; he has acted like I stole from him or some shit.
Then he calls Suu out in a separate thread, and then that's my fault. And he knew just what I'd do.
Poor bastard. He's alone in the world, surrounded by unreasonable JERKS.
Quote from: ALASKA on November 10, 2014, 12:20:22 AM
I've been working my way out of that. Been trying everyday.
I was afraid to come back, post here and there, because I was afraid you'd do this. I really hoped you would not.
I am not the best friend to have, but I thought I'd found a way to be here. Wanted that back really badly. Wanted to contribute again.
I've been recovering from a year of abuse. If I've been a mean Bastard, sorry to any and every one.
The MONSTER.
The COMPLETE UNREASONABLE MONSTER.
:lulz:
Apple Talk title. Well, with that and Alty's flounce, congratulations everyone, ALTY HAS FINALLY LEFT ALASKA.
Quote from: The Suu on November 10, 2014, 11:44:09 AM
He totally flounced, and blocked me on FB, and Howl blocked him.
We're kinda beyond done.
It was very wrong to say what I did, but he hit a nerve last night I didn't know I had. I said one thing, as a rub, and he went off the handle. That's the last time I try being nice to him.
He messaged me last night to say that he's feeling really fragile and can't handle being on PD right now.
He's not being reasonable, but you guys are being complete and utter assholes. Especially Suu. Telling a depressed person to kill themselves... well, I'm fucking ashamed of you.
FWIW, I'm sick of people telling Alty that he should leave Alaska, after the first 75 times he explained that he wants to but he won't because he refuses to abandon his child. Which is the same reason I won't apply to grad schools outside of the Portland area. And I'm probably the worst offender at telling him he needs to get the fuck out of Alaska.
How dare a stressed and depressed person express that they are sick and fucking tired of a particular piece of unwanted, uninformed, and unsolicited advice?
I kind of wish he HAD gone off on you and called you out specifically, Suu, because I am 99% sure that you wouldn't have retaliated in such an ugly way. Why? Because you're a coward. You went after him in the meanest way possible because you could see that he's vulnerable, and you could make yourself feel like a badass by kicking a man when he's down.
And Howl, you supported her. You backed her up. Isn't that kind of against your own principles?
What the fuck is even going on here?
Quote from: Sexy St. Nigel on November 10, 2014, 01:52:36 PM
He's not being reasonable, but you guys are being complete and utter assholes.
That's more than likely the case. I am not feeling sorry, though, as I am unsure of how many years I have to be told what a fucking prick I am, on FB and here, or told nothing because I am not worthy of a response. I am not feeling sorry because he has become a mean-spirited little prick who tries to fix his own head by harming others.
This very thread was deliberately intended to humiliate Suu. I think her response was inappropriate. But so - though to a lesser degree - is venting, then spazzing when someone answers, and then starting a revenge thread, and then hiding behind fragility when it doesn't go as intended. I don't fucking buy it.
I suspect that his IRL problems are related to this. I don't know, and I am neither quailified nor paid to make a proper diagnosis, but that's kinda what I'm thinking, all the same.
NOTE:
This is what "calling people out and going off on them" actually looks like. Just so we're totally clear.
I am not unfriending anyone or "done with" anyone. I was tempted over the suicide comment, but I'm not. I'm just hoping you fuckers will take a reality check and knock it the fuck off. You're using Alty as your whipping boy for your personal frustrations and you need to fucking stop and apologize.
Quote from: Sexy St. Nigel on November 10, 2014, 02:04:22 PM
And Howl, you supported her. You backed her up. Isn't that kind of against your own principles?
Not necessarily. 3rd time a snake bites you, you can infer that it is unsafe to cuddle with them.
Yeah, I got a FB message from him last night, too. I didn't log on here until just now.
What the hell, people? I'm pretty sure we all know why he can't leave. And for what it's worth, I think it's a substantial reason. Yes, I've been guilty of the "leave AK" stick-poking, but I hope it was taken in the commiserating way it was intended.
Now, I of course don't know what went down in FB PMs, so I can't speak to that. But if Alty's only sin is to be stuck in a bad situation and trying to find a release for his frustrations amongst a peer group, then I feel I've let him down.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on November 10, 2014, 02:05:57 PM
Quote from: Sexy St. Nigel on November 10, 2014, 01:52:36 PM
He's not being reasonable, but you guys are being complete and utter assholes.
That's more than likely the case. I am not feeling sorry, though, as I am unsure of how many years I have to be told what a fucking prick I am, on FB and here, or told nothing because I am not worthy of a response. I am not feeling sorry because he has become a mean-spirited little prick who tries to fix his own head by harming others.
This very thread was deliberately intended to humiliate Suu. I think her response was inappropriate. But so - though to a lesser degree - is venting, then spazzing when someone answers, and then starting a revenge thread, and then hiding behind fragility when it doesn't go as intended. I don't fucking buy it.
I suspect that his IRL problems are related to this. I don't know, and I am neither quailified nor paid to make a proper diagnosis, but that's kinda what I'm thinking, all the same.
You might be right. And frankly, instead of starting this thread (which I suspect was not intended specifically to humiliate Suu, but as a general announcement that he's SICK OF HEARING THAT PIECE OF ADVICE) he really should have gone for her throat directly and ripped her a new asshole.
Quote from: Sexy St. Nigel on November 10, 2014, 02:07:26 PM
NOTE:
This is what "calling people out and going off on them" actually looks like. Just so we're totally clear.
I am not unfriending anyone or "done with" anyone. I was tempted over the suicide comment, but I'm not. I'm just hoping you fuckers will take a reality check and knock it the fuck off. You're using Alty as your whipping boy for your personal frustrations and you need to fucking stop and apologize.
I have learned what apologizing to Alty gets you. It gets you contempt. I bungled one apology a year ago, and he rightfully blasted me. I apologized again a bit later, and he accepted. And then treated me like I was the asshole that mugged him a couple of years back.
So, yeah, maybe I am venting a little on unrelated personal frustrations, but isn't that what he did, too?
Quote from: Doktor Howl on November 10, 2014, 02:07:38 PM
Quote from: Sexy St. Nigel on November 10, 2014, 02:04:22 PM
And Howl, you supported her. You backed her up. Isn't that kind of against your own principles?
Not necessarily. 3rd time a snake bites you, you can infer that it is unsafe to cuddle with them.
Yeah I'm not going to talk to you until you pull your head out of your ass and start talking like a reasonable person.
He's treating you like an asshole?
Gonna give you one guess why that is.
Quote from: Sexy St. Nigel on November 10, 2014, 02:10:55 PM
He's treating you like an asshole?
Gonna give you one guess why that is.
For the last 12-14 months.
(Hint: it is because you are ACTING LIKE AN ASSHOLE.)
Quote from: Sexy St. Nigel on November 10, 2014, 02:10:16 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on November 10, 2014, 02:07:38 PM
Quote from: Sexy St. Nigel on November 10, 2014, 02:04:22 PM
And Howl, you supported her. You backed her up. Isn't that kind of against your own principles?
Not necessarily. 3rd time a snake bites you, you can infer that it is unsafe to cuddle with them.
Yeah I'm not going to talk to you until you pull your head out of your ass and start talking like a reasonable person.
Okay.
Quote from: Sexy St. Nigel on November 10, 2014, 02:11:33 PM
(Hint: it is because you are ACTING LIKE AN ASSHOLE.)
I gather a time machine is involved here.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on November 10, 2014, 02:11:25 PM
Quote from: Sexy St. Nigel on November 10, 2014, 02:10:55 PM
He's treating you like an asshole?
Gonna give you one guess why that is.
For the last 12-14 months.
He's been pretty much absent for the last 12-14 months. Unless you've been having PM conversations.
Quote from: Sexy St. Nigel on November 10, 2014, 02:12:17 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on November 10, 2014, 02:11:25 PM
Quote from: Sexy St. Nigel on November 10, 2014, 02:10:55 PM
He's treating you like an asshole?
Gonna give you one guess why that is.
For the last 12-14 months.
He's been pretty much absent for the last 12-14 months. Unless you've been having PM conversations.
FB, for the most part, as I mentioned, primarily 10-14 months ago, but some more recently.
I've stated my case. I don't support Suu advocating he do anything stupid, but neither do I intend on apologizing to him for my own statements. I will not, however, continue talking to him or about him or causing him any other form of grief.
If this is a deal breaker for anyone here, please let me know.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on November 10, 2014, 02:16:55 PM
I've stated my case. I don't support Suu advocating he do anything stupid, but neither do I intend on apologizing to him for my own statements. I will not, however, continue talking to him or about him or causing him any other form of grief.
If this is a deal breaker for anyone here, please let me know.
Dude, I don't think it's a deal breaker but really, go back and re-read your interaction with him in Open Bar.
He didn't actually say anything to you at all until you jumped on his case, and then when he did engage you it was to apologize. Look, you were obviously upset last night. I know you and Alty have had your differences but here, right now in this case, I think you do owe him an apology, and you certainly shouldn't write him off for responding to you when you specifically attacked him.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on November 10, 2014, 02:21:23 PM
He didn't actually say anything to you at all until you jumped on his case, and then when he did engage you it was to apologize.
His first apology was backhanded as fuck. His second one, a few posts later, followed him saying that the reason he doesn't post here is that he knows I'd do something awful,
no matter what.
Well, at least he had the "BUT"
before the apology in that one. Which is TOTALLY DIFFERENT than when HE spent a month and a half shitting on ME for a bungled apology.
And if all of this makes me an asshole, then fine. I'm an asshole.
But, as some famous jerk once said, "There is some shit I will not eat".
Also, there's a bit more here than meets the eye, which I didn't spell out because I didn't think I had to. I can go into gory details - at least to some degree - if it's important to anyone.
But the short and skinny is, I don't fucking like the guy, and I don't feel that I did anything out of line.
One person (Nigel) has said that she's not speaking to me until I change my mind (and let me tell you how awesome the timing is on THAT). I ain't gonna change my fucking mind. No way, no how.
Right, then.
Gory details, then I'm out of here.
About a year ago, Alty and I had an argument, brought on by him once again announcing he was leaving.
I apologized and bungled it. He went the fuck off, ignoring a follow up apology that was just this side of "groveling", and when he got done carping, he blocked me.
Then about 4 months later, he unblocks me and reestablishes contact. Says we're cool. Less than a day later, he asks if he, the kid, and the ex can bunk with us for a while, because he might be able to escape Alaska, but he'd need time to get established. This would have been a great hardship on me, both in terms of living space and finances, but I just said "Yeah, get your asses down here."
About a week later, it turns out that his escape wasn't going to happen, for reasons that were never made clear. But then, at the same time, he ALSO stopped responding to me on FB, text, or phone. Until this exchange. Once I was of no potential use, I wasn't worth talking to.
So, yanno, I don't feel the need to apologize to him, or to apologize to anyone else for not apologizing to him. He can fuck right off. If this means people aren't going to talk to me or think I'm the worst human being since Ronald fucking Reagan, I guess I'll just have to adjust.
Somewhere else.
I WISH THERE WAS MORE YELLING AND FIGHTING IN THIS THREAD INSTEAD OF SO MUCH NO U! OR I'M GONNA TAKE MAH TOYS AND GO HOME!.
Seriously: Actually letting your frustation out instead of trying to take the moral high ground is really good for the situation.
The worst that could happen is not so different from what is happening now except everyone will understand the thoughts of everyone else a little better (though probably won't agree with them) and I get to be entertained by some creative cursing.
It is a win/win situation!1
1(both wins are for me, get your own.)
You've been here for six years, and you consider that good advice?
Quote from: Reginald Ret (07/05/1983 - 06/11/2014) on November 10, 2014, 06:24:51 PM
I WISH THERE WAS MORE YELLING AND FIGHTING IN THIS THREAD INSTEAD OF SO MUCH NO U! OR I'M GONNA TAKE MAH TOYS AND GO HOME!.
Seriously: Actually letting your frustation out instead of trying to take the moral high ground is really good for the situation.
The worst that could happen is not so different from what is happening now except everyone will understand the thoughts of everyone else a little better (though probably won't agree with them) and I get to be entertained by some creative cursing.
It is a win/win situation!1
1(both wins are for me, get your own.)
Sorry, I have no voice. What I feel is not valid.
And although I never said anyone had to agree with me, I am told that "not being spoken to" is a suitable form of extortion, unless and until I lick the arse of that little fucking miseryguts user from way up North.
There's nothing more to say here. There's nothing more to say at all.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on November 10, 2014, 06:27:54 PM
You've been here for six years, and you consider that good advice?
Ridiculous. The best way to manage these things is to shit all over someone and refuse to listen to their side of the fucking story. That works wonders.
On the other hand, I have in fact observed once again that I AM INCAPABLE OF LEARNING. I am a fucking SUCKER.
That being said:
Quote from: ALASKA on November 09, 2014, 11:29:59 PM
HELLO, MY NAME IS ALTY AND THE PLACE WHERE I LIVE DEFINES EVER SINGLE HUMAN INTERACTION I EXERIENCE.
FUCK YOU.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on November 10, 2014, 02:21:23 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on November 10, 2014, 02:16:55 PM
I've stated my case. I don't support Suu advocating he do anything stupid, but neither do I intend on apologizing to him for my own statements. I will not, however, continue talking to him or about him or causing him any other form of grief.
If this is a deal breaker for anyone here, please let me know.
Dude, I don't think it's a deal breaker but really, go back and re-read your interaction with him in Open Bar.
He didn't actually say anything to you at all until you jumped on his case, and then when he did engage you it was to apologize. Look, you were obviously upset last night. I know you and Alty have had your differences but here, right now in this case, I think you do owe him an apology, and you certainly shouldn't write him off for responding to you when you specifically attacked him.
Fuck you, ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND
Quote from: Sexy St. Nigel on November 10, 2014, 02:10:16 PM
Yeah I'm not going to talk to you until you pull your head out of your ass and start talking like a reasonable person.
FUCK YOU.
At this point, I'm inclined to think the majority to the blame may lie with facebook, somehow.
Anything to get the spears pointed at Zuckerberg, I'm not proud.
This was stupid of me. I should have known that posting an explanation of why I hate that bastard would be useless, because everyone's already decided it's just Roger being a fucking ogre. Not a single person even read that shit, certainly didn't acknowledge it.
I have no friends here.
Not at all, I've just only got half the shit so I thought "Try and lighten the mood".
I fucked up.
Quote from: Junkenstein on November 10, 2014, 07:13:05 PM
Not at all, I've just only got half the shit so I thought "Try and lighten the mood".
I fucked up.
After being called an asshole by everyone and their grandmother, I just wanted someone to listen to my side of the story.
I didn't think that was a lot to ask.
I get you, Roger. I really do.
Quote from: Hello Waffles on November 10, 2014, 07:17:12 PM
I get you, Roger. I really do.
Thank you, Waffle. This means a great deal right now.
Roger, I understand why you feel the way you do.
I didn't say anything because it happened to you, and you have every right to own how you feel. It's really not a point for discussion or debate. It's how you feel. Who in their right mind would try to say you don't really feel that way, because reasons?
I also know you're not asking everyone to rally around you, so there's not much else to say. He's gone, for now. You don't like him. There's no reason to have a board war because of it.
You know I'm on your side with this. Because I'm equally a terrible fucking human being.
For what it's worth, I did read through your side of it and sympathise. I've had no real interactions with Alty lately but he's always seemed pretty OK from what I can see (PD). I caught some other chunks about depression which makes me somewat inclined towards the "Don't shit all over the guy without good reason" stance too.
Personally, I like you both so I'd prefer it if you both sorted this shit out, somehow.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on November 10, 2014, 07:25:37 PM
Roger, I understand why you feel the way you do.
I didn't say anything because it happened to you, and you have every right to own how you feel. It's really not a point for discussion or debate. It's how you feel. Who in their right mind would try to say you don't really feel that way, because reasons?
I also know you're not asking everyone to rally around you, so there's not much else to say. He's gone, for now. You don't like him. There's no reason to have a board war because of it.
Fuck him. It ain't about him. It's about having people gleefully line up to tell me what an asshole I am, utterly uninterested in why I feel the way I feel. It's about being told by EoC that I "fucked up", like this was some sort of accident. It's about Nigel not speaking to me until such time as I apologize to that fucked up little monkey. It's about the general assumption that I have no fucking agency, that I just blow up on someone for NO REASON. Yeah, I do blow up. I almost always have a damn good reason. In this case, I have an
excellent reason.
But everyone's gotta get their self-righteousness wrong, and I guess I'm the jerk in the spotlight. And of course, since everyone knows that ignoring me is a big trigger of mine, everyone's suddenly "above" the VERY SAME SHIT THEY WADED INTO.
So, yanno, everyone here that called me an asshole in one way or another, and was uninterested in reply #40 before or after the fact, can kiss my ass and STAY not talking to me.
Because I will rot in hell before I apologize to Alty.
Quote from: Junkenstein on November 10, 2014, 07:28:57 PM
Personally, I like you both so I'd prefer it if you both sorted this shit out, somehow.
Not in this lifetime.
Quote from: The Suu on November 10, 2014, 07:26:15 PM
You know I'm on your side with this. Because I'm equally a terrible fucking human being.
Well, we can be asshats together, then.
I will say that I was out of line with the "I have no friends here". I have at least two.
I've been reading this since the start.
I don't really know what to say...the impression I've gotten is that a lot of things were said in PMs or their facebook equivalent, so I'm hesistant to get involved in any situation where I don't know the facts.
That said, I can see a lot of people are upset so, for what it's worth, I don't think less of anyone in this thread, and if anyone wants someone to talk to...well, you know how to get in contact with me.
Quote from: The Suu on November 10, 2014, 07:26:15 PM
You know I'm on your side with this. Because I'm equally a terrible fucking human being.
Actually, no. Roger I just disagree with.
You advocated suicide. That's vile.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on November 10, 2014, 07:32:26 PM
Quote from: The Suu on November 10, 2014, 07:26:15 PM
You know I'm on your side with this. Because I'm equally a terrible fucking human being.
Well, we can be asshats together, then.
:asshat:
Quote from: Cain on November 10, 2014, 07:34:40 PM
I've been reading this since the start.
I don't really know what to say...the impression I've gotten is that a lot of things were said in PMs or their facebook equivalent, so I'm hesistant to get involved in any situation where I don't know the facts.
That said, I can see a lot of people are upset so, for what it's worth, I don't think less of anyone in this thread, and if anyone wants someone to talk to...well, you know how to get in contact with me.
Yeah, but neither did you take some time out of your day to tell me what an asshole I am, Cain.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on November 10, 2014, 07:32:07 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on November 10, 2014, 07:28:57 PM
Personally, I like you both so I'd prefer it if you both sorted this shit out, somehow.
Not in this lifetime.
Fair enough. As I said, not privy to half the shit it's about. Until this morning I assumed you guys were friends and all was relatively good. Then, well, ALL THIS SHIT.
Anyway, message received, not the best thread to attempt comedy asides.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on November 10, 2014, 07:35:01 PM
Actually, no. Roger I just disagree with.
Disagreement implies that there was an exchange of ideas in the first place. You had me convicted on accusation, our PM exchange made that perfectly clear.
So there was no "disagreement".
Quote from: Junkenstein on November 10, 2014, 07:36:37 PM
Until this morning I assumed you guys were friends and all was relatively good.
I haven't spoken badly about him, or even about him PERIOD, because what he did was so egregious, so offensive, that I really preferred not to think of him at all. He simply fell off of my radar.
Besides, I have better things to do than start the FUCK ALTY club when he's not even around.
So I can see where you might make that assumption.
He's my gory details, less gory than Roger's:
Alty lamented his lack of friends in open bar, and I simply said, as we all have in the past, as a joke, that he should move. He went on the defensive, and then made this thread, with apparently no intention of calling me out, but still calling me out, because he made the fucking thread.
At this point, Roger and I were sharing WTFs in IM, while I consoled him about his daughter. I was willing to be okay with Alty, and even posted a, "Dude, if you need to talk, I can give you my number" post in Open Bar, but when I saw this, all bets were off. He couldn't have just said, "Suu, joke is old. Stop." Or even a more positive, "Hey Suu, thanks for replying to my melodramatic shitstorm of a life, that means you actually care."
No. He made another thread to call me out.
I don't have enough fucking patience in my life to deal with this level of assholicism. If he didn't want to get a response to his lamenting in Open Bar, he shouldn't have fucking posted to begin with. He's not the only person who had to deal with an abusive marriage, and I get that, I really do, and I was no fucking saint on this board after my divorce, but the limit has been reached. As far as Roger and I go. YMMV.
I'm going to write some papers now.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on November 10, 2014, 07:37:23 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on November 10, 2014, 07:35:01 PM
Actually, no. Roger I just disagree with.
Disagreement implies that there was an exchange of ideas in the first place. You had me convicted on accusation, our PM exchange made that perfectly clear.
So there was no "disagreement".
I disagree.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on November 10, 2014, 03:48:02 PM
Also, there's a bit more here than meets the eye, which I didn't spell out because I didn't think I had to. I can go into gory details - at least to some degree - if it's important to anyone.
But the short and skinny is, I don't fucking like the guy, and I don't feel that I did anything out of line.
One person (Nigel) has said that she's not speaking to me until I change my mind (and let me tell you how awesome the timing is on THAT). I ain't gonna change my fucking mind. No way, no how.
Actually, I said that I'm not speaking to you until you pull your head out of your ass and start talking like a reasonable person, and not like a catastrophist.
I'm not asking you to like Alty. But if you want me to believe that you decided to jump on Suu's Suicide-Advocacy Bandwagon just now, not because you're stressed and upset about something else,
but because you've been building up resentment against him for the last 14 months and rationally decided to wait until just now, when he's expressing vulnerability, to dump it on him, then you're not talking about something I can accept -- being stressed and upset and acting like an asshole in the moment -- but about something I can't accept because it is wrong and not what I believe to be true of you, as my friend.
Someone acting like an asshole doesn't have to mean end of the world, that's it, done, cut off forever. Sometimes, people act like assholes because people act like assholes sometimes, and that's normal and human and forgivable. It is also normal and human to backward-rationalize having acted like an asshole, for a while anyway.
What Suu said was unacceptable, and it is unlike you to not only defend her but to pile on alongside her. I hope that at some point you, also, see that.
I'll still be here and be your friend when you get over this. But in the meantime I don't want to argue about it or get pulled into the kind of argument that ends in not wanting to be friends, so I'll be avoiding this thread.
Quote from: The Suu on November 10, 2014, 07:40:27 PM
He's my gory details, less gory than Roger's:
Alty lamented his lack of friends in open bar, and I simply said, as we all have in the past, as a joke, that he should move. He went on the defensive, and then made this thread, with apparently no intention of calling me out, but still calling me out, because he made the fucking thread.
At this point, Roger and I were sharing WTFs in IM, while I consoled him about his daughter. I was willing to be okay with Alty, and even posted a, "Dude, if you need to talk, I can give you my number" post in Open Bar, but when I saw this, all bets were off. He couldn't have just said, "Suu, joke is old. Stop." Or even a more positive, "Hey Suu, thanks for replying to my melodramatic shitstorm of a life, that means you actually care."
No. He made another thread to call me out.
I don't have enough fucking patience in my life to deal with this level of assholicism. If he didn't want to get a response to his lamenting in Open Bar, he shouldn't have fucking posted to begin with. He's not the only person who had to deal with an abusive marriage, and I get that, I really do, and I was no fucking saint on this board after my divorce, but the limit has been reached. As far as Roger and I go. YMMV.
I'm going to write some papers now.
You overreacted, badly, and said something that is pretty close to completely unforgivable to someone who is stressed and depressed. I'm not saying that Alty was right or that his behavior was grand... you can go to page 1 of this thread to see what I have to say about that, but in no way, shape, or form was his passive-aggressive response to once again getting blamed for his own situation (yes, that IS what it comes across as when people tell him to move) deserving of being told to kill himself.
If you are neither a coward nor a shitty human being, you should be able to see that. Until then, go fuck yourself, you suck.
Or join TDS on Facebook, they embrace that kind of behavior there.
Quote from: Sexy St. Nigel on November 10, 2014, 07:52:08 PM
I'm not asking you to like Alty. But if you want me to believe that you decided to jump on Suu's Suicide-Advocacy Bandwagon just now, not because you're stressed and upset about something else, but because you've been building up resentment against him for the last 14 months and rationally decided to wait until just now, when he's expressing vulnerability, to dump it on him, then you're not talking about something I can accept -- being stressed and upset and acting like an asshole in the moment -- but about something I can't accept because it is wrong and not what I believe to be true of you, as my friend.
I dumped on him because 1) he showed up, and 2) he was immediately a prick. And I wasn't being a catastrophist, I fucking hate the guy for who he is.
QuoteWhat Suu said was unacceptable, and it is unlike you to not only defend her but to pile on alongside her. I hope that at some point you, also, see that.
I have stated that I did not approve of that comment. I feel that it was rash and wrong-headed, and I don't think Suu meant to say it, and for some reason now she can't or won't withdraw the comment. But I am also not going to dump on Suu, because she and Cain were the only two people to not shit all over me or stand wringing their hands in the last two go-rounds. I would not feel that way if I thought she made the comment in cold blood, even if she was talking about that shitball up in Alaska.
QuoteI'll still be here and be your friend when you get over this.
I suppose it would depend on what you mean by "this". If you mean Alty, that isn't ever going away. If you mean being ferociously pissed off, that will probably ease up in a day or two.
Since apparently nobody clicked the link when EOC posted it, here, once again, is Alty's lengthy explanation (after giving a number of shorter explanations) for why he has not moved yet and is really sick of people telling him he needs to move:
Quote from: ALASKA on December 17, 2013, 10:57:08 PM
Just didn't really want this in AT.
This is gonna be verbose, so hold onto your asses.
I do actually hate getting advice, any kind. I am full of pride and arrogance, and I trust my own intuition more than any single person I know 99% of the time.
Most of the time advice I am given is something I have thought about millions and millions of times already. I do almost everything in life by myself, as I have done.
This has only recently changed and there is no greater catalyst for my ability do be around other people, to act without fear, than my son. You people have done a great deal, but would I give a damn at all without him?
I started posting on this forum the year he was born. That's the year I changed my name.
Some of you know my name, and it is a funny one. It is also not the one on my birth certificate.
Ooh, it's gonna get personal now.
0-2
Born in a German hospital I lose any claim to Presidency, which is a damn shame. My dad was a helicopter mechanic for the Army. My mother attended a Catholic-Hungarian boarding school I have no idea how my single grandmother could afford.
My grandmother on my mother's side is an evil old alcoholic from Serbia who cleaned upper class German houses for 25 years. She has severe mental illness that has been untreated (excepting congac) for her entire life.
She saw my father and mother making googely eyes on a boat near the Vilhelma Zoo, walked over to him and told him to talk to my mother.
New Years Eve - 1984
"Don't worry, you don't get pregnant the first time," -Dad.
My mom dropped out of school, as she had no choice, in her final year. They stayed with my grandmother and then...
ZOOOOM
2-4
Kentucky.
ZOOOOM
5
Alaska
My dad always wanted to see it. That's why we came here. He always had ze wanderlust, he's a rambler, that one. Or was. I got it real bad too. I hate staying in one place. Hate it. I could live in a brand new place every three months and you would see a very happy Alty.
ZOOOOM
7
I used to be a JR. My current name, which a bunch of you know, is not the one on my birth certificate.
Shortly before my parents split, shortly after my father threw me into a wall because he was casually disgusted with me, something my mother never knew, I wondered: why? Why didn't I get my own name?
Then, the split. The military elementary school had a counselor, and after my mom had told me she was divorcing my father and that my sister and I would be living with her and only her, they pulled me out of class and into this group called Banana Splits :lulz:
On the first day we made a construction paper banana split. Dad and mom are choclolate and strawberry on the outside, and in the middle was vanilla me. It only took them about a week to realize I didn't need any counseling. When my mom told me what was happening relief such as I have never again experienced washed over me. I knew, at 7, that my life was going to be an altogether sweeter thing. I knew with absolute certainty that if things had continued on I would have been truly miserable, probably abused more.
My mother had already gotten a job at Burger King, and used it to aqcuire a brand new Honda Civic (loleconomy) in anticipation for leaving my dad. Which is funny because HE offered divorce as an ultimatum: You either stay home with me instead of going out on the town with your brother who you haven't seen in 5 years or DIVORCE!
LOL.
So moving into a shitty apartment wasn't all the difficult. And beautiful.
Through my whole childhood I never once resented having things. I had TV, I had enough food not to starve to death, and I was FREEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
8
This is the year I learned my father was an idiot and a coward and that I had to make every attempt to not be anything like him.
9-13
Thing happened. Many things. I grew up here, in the cold and the dark, watching TV and eating junk food and being afraid of boy and men, but also just people. Men come in and out of my mother's life. They are all losers. Even the lesbian. All of them, except my stepdad, who treats me right, keeps my grandmother from verbally, emotionally, and physically abusing me. He worked hard a shit job right next to my mom to build something together. She divorced him for no reason/my grandmother's influence.
I called that guy dad. Oh well.
Nothing with my father. He sent occasional letters and stopped once he realized I was never going to write back. To this day I still don't send people letters, other than Discordians. Letters can be full of meaning, but when I know you just don't give a shit and are still capable of sending me words, well, words are plenty fickle then, aren't they?
But then I went to stay with my paternal grandmother. I was 12, it was summer in Arkansas. My father found out and decided he needed to get his shit together, make some money, and save some by staying with his mom as well. That his children were going to be there was at first incidental, then obnoxious. Two weeks in he called my mother to ask her to have us come back.
42 at this point, he has no teeth. He wears full dentures because his teeth rotted from the inside out and vice versa. That happens when you chew, smoke two cartons a week, and drink Folgers like it's going out of production. He watches Walker Texas Ranger and claps his hands like a child, a stupid child, when Walker roundhouse kicks the bad guy. The man nearly leaps out of his chair with excitement. A big Chuck Norris fan, my dad.
He also thinks the wrestler Chyna is just the hottest piece of ass in the known universe.
:horrormirth:
It's then when I realize just how different this man is from, foreign. Foreign. I LOOK a lot more like my uncle Bill. Which is probably why dad wanted nothing from me.
Bill was the baby and he was the favorite. Of EVERYONE HE EVER MET. Charismatic, funny, blunt, loud, successful, and as ignorant and racist as most white people below the mason-dixon. My uncle Bill was a lawyer for Walmart (hopefully battling millions of impovrished employees) who died in a car crash after going into a diabetic coma on the way home. My grandfather wrote a book called: My Son, a Gift From God. It was not about my father.
Yet whatever genetics passed my father's way seemed to gloss over the looks sort of laterally. Or something. You get what I mean. That must have been a kick in the dick.
13-18
I talked to the man after I graduated. He called and said he was going to Russia to get heli-mechanic work, make a bunch of money, and then come to AK to "spend some time with you kids".
*cricket song*
2009
The year my son was born. The year my whole life changed and my brain got all weird, but better. Also the year I started posting on this forum.
Before I changed my legal name I called him. Right when I had the money and the paperwork ready to go, I gave the stupid bastard a last chance.
I tracked him down by (somehow) finding HIS father, also discovering his parents came from Germany in 1923(?) so I come from bona fide immigrant stock on both ends.
"You're going to be a grandfather," I said.
"Yeah I know, my mom told me," he said.
"You're free to come up here any time and meet him," I said, quite graciously.
"Well, I think it'll probably be easier for you to just fly here," he said.
To Florida. It is easier for me to drag my infant son, his toddler (1/2) brother, and their mother to Florida from AK than it is to get his dumb ass into a single seat.
Ok. Thanks Dad for making that easy for me.
That's him, and that's it. He got on FB and I applied my maximum self, much the same way I handled my cousin. More crickets. This time I really DID kick him in the dick.
Now, I now that getting out of AK is best for me. And I know that if I leave my son alone, in the dark and the cold, with NOBODY who has a brain like his (like mine) because I FEEL bad I am not going to be like my father.
But that's not all there is so let's keep going.
I chose something I found, and the last name of my maternal grandfather because he is the sweetest, kindest, smartest man in my family and in my life. That old man, his story goes something like this:
Meet a Serbian woman who was probably abused by her father, who is an alcoholic, who will eventually beat your first and only grandson. Marry her, have two girls with her. She goes fully evil at a tender age and chops him off like a bad wound. Court battles, such as they are in that part of the world do not go well. Who knows exactly what happened.
But this woman leaves with your girls, marries another man, has a son, and then moves to another country. THEN she tells your children you want nothing to do with them, that you abandoned them. You know nothing of this.
I didn't meet this man until 2006. He didn't see his daughter from 196?-2006.
Basically, the same thing happened to me.
I don't know where the other kid who is supposed to be mine is at. This OTHER MOTHER halted my efforts to set up child support. I got swabbed any everything. I am not sure if this other kid is even mine. I am so fortunate, BLESSED even, to be allowed the opportunity to be around my son, to get to help shape his view of the world, to help keep his perspective clear, to give his mind and brain the best possible start they can hope to have.
And I am working hard to not just supply the needs of the son I do get to spend time with, but to also have enough resources and time to take the other to court because that's the only way.
So, maybe you can see now. I don't get mad when people tell me to move out of Alaska. You just don't know. You don't know that if I left the climate would change, my mood would be elevated, I would have rich and rewarding relationships that are not online.
And I would be a miserable husk of the person that you know. I would feel shame, self-loathing, and contempt for my entire person. I would drink, a lot. I would, suddenly, have no structure since I could do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. And something would take the place of that structure, and it would be ugly.
And maybe it would not happen that way. Maybe I would just be happier.
But no. It's not going to happen.
You say that this place is bad for me. That's true, in some ways. Many way. But what's bad for me is worse for the kid.
Somebody has to break this cycle, the buck stops here.
As for my happiness/unhappiness, recently. Some of you seemed concerned. I have some bad times. The number one reason for my misery in the last year has been my wife. And that issue is getting better all the time. My business causes me a LOT of stress and I do everything myself. This month I am short one tenant. My last groupon has killed my regular business, and my new pricing makes growth SLLLLLOOOOOOOOOWWWW. My work has socially isolated me more than usual.
Once student loans come back in, and I can focus on slow growth after my groupon, and once I start my new project (this month) things will be better for me.
As for the place itself? I love Alaska. I love the rivers and the trees and the mountains and the fresh air and the peace. But Anchorage offers none of these things.
Anchorage AK is all of the midwest plastic nightmare wrapped into one place. Sure, there are mountains, but they are covered in human filth.
Were I in Talkeetna things might be different. But that's not going to happen either because a four hour car ride is too far from my son. You see a theme here?
Does living here make all that shit worse? Yes. Many of my problems probably would not exist in another place. And I am making a concerted effort to get out alongside my kid's mom. She and I are lining up all of our shit so we can leave. I even told her TWO years would be better than four.
Now, to add moar FUN:
He other son has a father who is a liar, cheater, and a thief, who I know personally, and dispose at levels you people know nothing about. HIS mother is the same. She bought a lawyer, told him to move in, so she could sue for more custody right. So the dad sits around getting high while his son is tended to by the grandmother. It is a cozy arrangement for them. Which is bad. Since they got more legal customer MY kid's mom can't just up and leave.
Now this dad doesn't give a shit. As a pathological liar he will say otherwise, but I know better. I saw him feed his two year old toddler by throwing cheerios on the floor and telling him to shut up.
So, yeah.
I find happiness where I can, and I am succeeding.
Making enough money to leave this place on a regular basis, that's doable.
Anything else...eh....
But you know, clearly he's just a giant asshole for posting this thread, and therefore deserves to be blown up on, called names, and told he should kill himself.
I said everything I need to say about him in reply #40. No amount of miseryguts moaning or weepy victim shit will change that.
I despise him. I say that about almost nobody.
You motherfuckers are all going to get stuck with cookies at the rate this thread is going.
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on November 10, 2014, 08:25:07 PM
You motherfuckers are all going to get stuck with cookies at the rate this thread is going.
YOU DON'T HAVE THE GUTS.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on November 10, 2014, 08:25:41 PM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on November 10, 2014, 08:25:07 PM
You motherfuckers are all going to get stuck with cookies at the rate this thread is going.
YOU DON'T HAVE THE GUTS.
OH YEAH? http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=34449.0
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on November 10, 2014, 08:34:02 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on November 10, 2014, 08:25:41 PM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on November 10, 2014, 08:25:07 PM
You motherfuckers are all going to get stuck with cookies at the rate this thread is going.
YOU DON'T HAVE THE GUTS.
OH YEAH? http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=34449.0
Jenn, via FB pm, has just said that we are all very bad monkeys and you should punish us all with cookies.
And that we have a new mailing address. She said not to forget that part when you get your wrath on.
Why would you like me to do to prove I am bad enough for cookies?
Would you like me to kill a man? Would you like me to kill a man for cookies?
I am serious.
I will do that.
I would vote republican for cookies.
Quote from: Sexy St. Nigel on November 10, 2014, 07:56:16 PM
Quote from: The Suu on November 10, 2014, 07:40:27 PM
He's my gory details, less gory than Roger's:
Alty lamented his lack of friends in open bar, and I simply said, as we all have in the past, as a joke, that he should move. He went on the defensive, and then made this thread, with apparently no intention of calling me out, but still calling me out, because he made the fucking thread.
At this point, Roger and I were sharing WTFs in IM, while I consoled him about his daughter. I was willing to be okay with Alty, and even posted a, "Dude, if you need to talk, I can give you my number" post in Open Bar, but when I saw this, all bets were off. He couldn't have just said, "Suu, joke is old. Stop." Or even a more positive, "Hey Suu, thanks for replying to my melodramatic shitstorm of a life, that means you actually care."
No. He made another thread to call me out.
I don't have enough fucking patience in my life to deal with this level of assholicism. If he didn't want to get a response to his lamenting in Open Bar, he shouldn't have fucking posted to begin with. He's not the only person who had to deal with an abusive marriage, and I get that, I really do, and I was no fucking saint on this board after my divorce, but the limit has been reached. As far as Roger and I go. YMMV.
I'm going to write some papers now.
You overreacted, badly, and said something that is pretty close to completely unforgivable to someone who is stressed and depressed. I'm not saying that Alty was right or that his behavior was grand... you can go to page 1 of this thread to see what I have to say about that, but in no way, shape, or form was his passive-aggressive response to once again getting blamed for his own situation (yes, that IS what it comes across as when people tell him to move) deserving of being told to kill himself.
If you are neither a coward nor a shitty human being, you should be able to see that. Until then, go fuck yourself, you suck.
I already noted earlier than what i said was fucking wrong, I was heated and lost in the moment. Roger and I were both were.
But it's cute for Nigel to be angry, it's not cute for Suu to be angry.
As for the TDS groups, I don't have that kind of energy those fucktards do just to make your life miserable.
Later.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on November 10, 2014, 07:47:11 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on November 10, 2014, 07:37:23 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on November 10, 2014, 07:35:01 PM
Actually, no. Roger I just disagree with.
Disagreement implies that there was an exchange of ideas in the first place. You had me convicted on accusation, our PM exchange made that perfectly clear.
So there was no "disagreement".
I disagree.
Well, now that my rage is back below relief valve pressure, let's just examine that.
He treated me as a resource, rather than a person.
He has had a string of people who were kind enough to let him crash, yet mysteriously turned into assholes. That's POSSIBLE, but it's more likely that he viewed them as resources as well. But no, it's them being one string of secret psychos after another.
He treated Freaky as a fuck & chuck. I don't think she expected a fairy tale ending, but after he left town, he basically cut off all contact with her. Again, she was a resource.
He vented here, and when Ang - who isn't around as regularly as some of us - tried to joke about it, he reamed her out. Resources should just sit there. Ang's response was, IMO, out of line,
but no more out of line than treating people as exploitable resources rather than human beings. Perhaps even less.
Then, once he's shat the bed, he's "fragile" and has to leave. Absolute rubbish, I don't believe a word of it. Alty is in the shape he is in,
in my opinion, because he treats people like dogshit. He reminds me of Marcus (aka Von Melee).
It's either that, or he has the absolute worst judgement in SOs, friends, and work relationships that has ever been recorded.
Guess which is more likely? As one of his prior chew toys, I know which way I'm leaning.
As for Ang, people do dumb shit when they're feeling burned and angry.
I'm going to say again that you're allowed to not like Alty as much as you want to. I don't think there's anything I can say to change that. Alty is demonstrably unstable, which he freely admits. I think he fucks up, and I think he makes bad decisions, but I don't think he's a bad person, and I don't think he deserves the level of escalation and character assassination that he received here last night when he was posting what was, ultimately, pretty fucking innocuous. And this is where the disagreement comes in. I am totally fine with you disliking Alty, but I am not fine with anyone shitting on a person who needs help much more than he needs abuse. He's had enough abuse.
Now I want to talk about you and I. Roger, I want you to know I was not ignoring you. I have a hard time communicating with you when we're arguing, because you have a tendency to read whatever I say in the absolute worst light imaginable. I wish you would not do that. I've deleted 5 words today for every 1 that I've typed. I'd like to think I've earned better treatment than that.
For you, and for Suu, I get that you are, and were, angry. I will just never be able to reconcile a momentary burst of anger against writing off friends, or advocating suicide. I can't deal with that bullshit right now. I wrote a piece and posted it in Or Kill Me about a month ago that is the result of a night of thinking about killing myself. Maybe it's the thought of that that sent me into this righteous indignation, I don't know, but I'd like to think that in spite of the fact that I've been a dick on occasion, a bad episode isn't going to wind me up in the shit pile where anything said, goes, because it's said in anger and therefore doesn't count. I don't think anyone deserves that, and that includes Alty.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on November 10, 2014, 11:16:30 PM
Now I want to talk about you and I. Roger, I want you to know I was not ignoring you. I have a hard time communicating with you when we're arguing, because you have a tendency to read whatever I say in the absolute worst light imaginable. I wish you would not do that. I've deleted 5 words today for every 1 that I've typed. I'd like to think I've earned better treatment than that.
Yeah, I have that effect. I apologize, to you and everyone else (except Alty). I will try not to do it in the future. I am unsure how successful I will be.
QuoteFor you, and for Suu, I get that you are, and were, angry. I will just never be able to reconcile a momentary burst of anger against writing off friends, or advocating suicide. I can't deal with that bullshit right now. I wrote a piece and posted it in Or Kill Me about a month ago that is the result of a night of thinking about killing myself. Maybe it's the thought of that that sent me into this righteous indignation, I don't know, but I'd like to think that in spite of the fact that I've been a dick on occasion, a bad episode isn't going to wind me up in the shit pile where anything said, goes, because it's said in anger and therefore doesn't count. I don't think anyone deserves that, and that includes Alty.
I wrote Alty off months ago. When I realized that his reconcilliation ended the moment it turned out he didn't need me for something. And, as stated, it wasn't an outlier, it's a pattern. This isn't something that happened because I flipped the fuck out. In fact, it happened after I calmed down (at the time).
And as much as I fly off the handle, I can only think of 4 times in my life I put someone in that box. Alty, Von Melee, my sister, and Hugh.
And again, as I have stated several times, I think Ang was out of line. I wouldn't do what she did, but
1. I'm not her. My rage moves in a different way, and
2. She's stuck by me, more or less. I can forgive some awful shit, if I think someone views me as a person.
Hell, Ang and I have had some SERIOUS difficulties in the past. But at no point did she ever hit the point where I'd write her off. Believe it or not, that takes some serious doing. A mere argument won't manage it.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on November 10, 2014, 11:32:26 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on November 10, 2014, 11:16:30 PM
Now I want to talk about you and I. Roger, I want you to know I was not ignoring you. I have a hard time communicating with you when we're arguing, because you have a tendency to read whatever I say in the absolute worst light imaginable. I wish you would not do that. I've deleted 5 words today for every 1 that I've typed. I'd like to think I've earned better treatment than that.
Yeah, I have that effect. I apologize, to you and everyone else (except Alty). I will try not to do it in the future. I am unsure how successful I will be.
I appreciate that. Really.
See you around Alty, best of luck.
I have no idea what is going on.
Quote from: The Suu on November 10, 2014, 09:51:31 PM
Quote from: Sexy St. Nigel on November 10, 2014, 07:56:16 PM
Quote from: The Suu on November 10, 2014, 07:40:27 PM
He's my gory details, less gory than Roger's:
Alty lamented his lack of friends in open bar, and I simply said, as we all have in the past, as a joke, that he should move. He went on the defensive, and then made this thread, with apparently no intention of calling me out, but still calling me out, because he made the fucking thread.
At this point, Roger and I were sharing WTFs in IM, while I consoled him about his daughter. I was willing to be okay with Alty, and even posted a, "Dude, if you need to talk, I can give you my number" post in Open Bar, but when I saw this, all bets were off. He couldn't have just said, "Suu, joke is old. Stop." Or even a more positive, "Hey Suu, thanks for replying to my melodramatic shitstorm of a life, that means you actually care."
No. He made another thread to call me out.
I don't have enough fucking patience in my life to deal with this level of assholicism. If he didn't want to get a response to his lamenting in Open Bar, he shouldn't have fucking posted to begin with. He's not the only person who had to deal with an abusive marriage, and I get that, I really do, and I was no fucking saint on this board after my divorce, but the limit has been reached. As far as Roger and I go. YMMV.
I'm going to write some papers now.
You overreacted, badly, and said something that is pretty close to completely unforgivable to someone who is stressed and depressed. I'm not saying that Alty was right or that his behavior was grand... you can go to page 1 of this thread to see what I have to say about that, but in no way, shape, or form was his passive-aggressive response to once again getting blamed for his own situation (yes, that IS what it comes across as when people tell him to move) deserving of being told to kill himself.
If you are neither a coward nor a shitty human being, you should be able to see that. Until then, go fuck yourself, you suck.
I already noted earlier than what i said was fucking wrong, I was heated and lost in the moment. Roger and I were both were.
But it's cute for Nigel to be angry, it's not cute for Suu to be angry.
As for the TDS groups, I don't have that kind of energy those fucktards do just to make your life miserable.
Later.
Yeah, you think people think it's cute when I'm angry? I would love to forward you some of that "thinks it's cute".
I would also love for you to point out the last time I was all cute by telling a depressed friend to commit suicide.
As for him treating Freeky like a fuck & chuck, that's not what you said before. So grow some consistency before you use a person's sexual history and vulnerability against them, Roger. That is a fragile zone for you to walk upon, and you should know it.
"Backward-rationalization" is how I would characterize most of this thread.
And, if "being ignored" is a trigger, that is, IMO, something that is an intrinsic trigger that can be worked on, not an extrinsic trigger that can be reasonably blamed on other people.
I think that's a trigger for everyone. I can't think of a worse social1 trigger than being very upset and having nobody give a shit.
1 Obviously, there are worse triggers, but they have more to do with actual awful things.
It takes on subtler shades when it's a forum. IRL, you're speaking, you can see how someone reacts, even if they don't say anything.
I tend to be fairly quiet when a person I respect is upset. I tend to listen, not speak.
I don't want to exacerbate the emotional level. I neither want to goad, nor defend. On a forum, this is incredibly hard to do in a post, since even a post of "I read the post" can be taken the wrong way; dismissively, for example.
No one posting a response is not the same as people ignoring a post.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on November 11, 2014, 02:38:02 PM
It takes on subtler shades when it's a forum. IRL, you're speaking, you can see how someone reacts, even if they don't say anything.
I tend to be fairly quiet when a person I respect is upset. I tend to listen, not speak.
I don't want to exacerbate the emotional level. I neither want to goad, nor defend. On a forum, this is incredibly hard to do in a post, since even a post of "I read the post" can be taken the wrong way; dismissively, for example.
No one posting a response is not the same as people ignoring a post.
Tell me that when I'm ragin'. :lol:
Yet another reason I don't post in those threads very often.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on November 11, 2014, 02:56:19 PM
Yet another reason I don't post in those threads very often.
I didn't actually say there was a viable solution. I don't really expect anyone to cater to me. I'm just saying that the longer I stew, the more angry I get.
This isn't strictly an internet problem for me.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on November 11, 2014, 01:04:39 PM
I think that's a trigger for everyone. I can't think of a worse social1 trigger than being very upset and having nobody give a shit.
1 Obviously, there are worse triggers, but they have more to do with actual awful things.
Sure, but if someone just sort of disappears for a while or is generally quiet, it's pretty important to be able to go "This isn't about me". Alty has barely spoken to ANYONE in the last year or so. He's wrapped up in his own misery, in his head. It's not about you. It's not about me.
When someone takes other people's unhappiness and attributes it to a personal conflict with themselves, it not only alienates others but it leads to unpleasant social scenes that reflect poorly on one's maturity and self-control.
I am getting the impression that Suu is going to just keep rationalizing why what she said was excusable, and I doubt any kind of apology to Alty for it, public or private, will be forthcoming.
This is, after all, the person who, in some sort of embarrassingly misguided effort to slut-shame the wife of the philanderer she was fucking, wrote an absolutely ghastly terrible book in which the protagonist was a self-absorbed princess with an awful personality, who seduced a married man with children and tried to coerce him into abandoning them. And for some reason thought that reflected positively on herself.
So, that's one person I am not interested in being friendly with. I see no moral fiber there whatsoever and I have no time for people with no moral fiber.
What I said to Alty was wrong. I let the rage get a hold of me, in my time of stress, and it resulted in exactly was I deserved. I have since apologized to him. Here is the proof:
(http://i.imgur.com/TrD1Jx2.png)
As you can see, I stated in that that I wish you the best. Here is why:
In the other thread, you insisted on attacking the book I wrote, for no other reason than that you were mad at me. As we have dually discovered, anger makes people say and do shitty things. But I am not asking you for an apology. My art is not for everyone. I'm not the Great American Novelist, I made no attempt to be. What I did was an expression of my emotions at the time and it was a way out of a rough situation. That relationship is long over, the story is not, and I'm continuing it. You insist on psychoanalyzing me based on my prose, assuming that it was a way to self-aggrandize. Actually, writing that made me feel pretty shitty about myself and the whole situation I got myself into being a stupid hopeless romantic. It didn't just act as an outlet for my anger, but it also was a wake-up call.
Much like I'm sure the art installations you've made for your exes did for you. I remember the skeleton for your ex-husband, and the pictures of you crying for Mr. Language, both of which I thought were awesome. No, really, I'm not saying that as a way to patch up, they were awesome. Why? Because you found a creative outlet for your anger and emotions, that's why. Okay, I admit to laughing over the crying pictures, but I laughed because that's what was triggered. I wasn't laughing at your pain, I know that pain. That same pain is what made me write the book, as stupid as my choices were to get there. I cried like that. Crying makes us look like idiots. It makes us look weak and unwilling. Hiding behind a piece of art makes us look productive. That is what being an artist is about. If it wasn't for our power to create, bad things can happen. Bad things like saying really terrible things to a person half a world away because I'm having a shitty night and he threw me off the deep end.
None of this matters, though, right? I said something unforgivable, and I'm not asking for that. I haven't forgiven several people in my life, mostly because they fucking deserve my cold shoulder and I'm not of the mind to forgive all. I am not some savior, I'm a raging bitch, and I reserve that right.
I won't be posting on this board any longer. There's no reason. It's distracting me from the goals I have in life, such as getting this master's degree, and being a solid rock in my husband's life while we deal with the curve balls the Navy is already throwing at us. I guess that means it's time for me to grow up. As far as I'm concerned, the Mods can delete my account as soon as I post this.
Good luck on getting your doctorate.
Well, I'm glad you actually apologized to Alty, hopefully he will eventually come back and read it. It's nice that you wish me well, I don't wish for anything but good things for you.
You didn't say anything "unforgivable", as I pointed out a number of times, just close to it.
Art often makes us look ridiculous. That's half the point, isn't it? To highlight the absurdity of the situation we put ourselves in? I'm glad to hear you don't take that book you wrote totally seriously.
Have a good life.