If someone gives someone a gift that they did not ask for and do not want, was the gift really for the recipient, or was it really for the giver?
Quote from: Your Mom on September 23, 2014, 01:18:22 AM
If someone gives someone a gift that they did not ask for and do not want, was the gift really for the recipient, or was it really for the giver?
How useful is it to the recipient?
If this is about the 30 foot length of squirrel tails I sent you, I'm sorry, I really thought you'd like it.
Quote from: Your Mom on September 23, 2014, 01:18:22 AM
If someone gives someone a gift that they did not ask for and do not want, was the gift really for the recipient, or was it really for the giver?
It can be an extremely contradictory action that mixes giving something selflessly that was chosen narcissistically.
The answer cannot be given until the mental state of the giver can be assessed.
Yeah I don't see any one size fits all answers here. It depends on whether the giver knows ahead of time that the gift is unwanted.
I'm interested in some analyses from different perspectives, it isn't a trick question. I wouldn't mind some comments from the recipient's perspective as well.
Only two conditions: It is a gift that is both unasked for, and unwanted. Not necessarily offensive, nor even unappreciated in an "isn't that sweet, it's the gift that counts" way, but simply unwanted.
I'm really interested in perspectives here, this isn't a "right answer" kind of question.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on September 23, 2014, 01:20:29 AM
If this is about the 30 foot length of squirrel tails I sent you, I'm sorry, I really thought you'd like it.
:lulz:
Quote from: Hoopla on September 23, 2014, 01:20:25 AM
Quote from: Your Mom on September 23, 2014, 01:18:22 AM
If someone gives someone a gift that they did not ask for and do not want, was the gift really for the recipient, or was it really for the giver?
How useful is it to the recipient?
It's unwanted, as stated.
Give the gift that keeps on giving to someone else. Give it to someone who might want it?
I give myself a Judas for Christmas, regularly. It kills me to say they "work for me". Really.
Giving of a gift is always for the giver, as it is usually something one does to make themselves feel better (by way of making others feel better).
Now whether it is also for the giftee or not depends on if the person honestly thought it would be something well recieved.
Or if they are using it as something in which to have for leverage later ("well I've given you all this stuff and all I'm asking is for this one thing....")
Quote from: Your Mom on September 23, 2014, 05:59:15 AM
I'm interested in some analyses from different perspectives, it isn't a trick question. I wouldn't mind some comments from the recipient's perspective as well.
Only two conditions: It is a gift that is both unasked for, and unwanted. Not necessarily offensive, nor even unappreciated in an "isn't that sweet, it's the gift that counts" way, but simply unwanted.
I'm really interested in perspectives here, this isn't a "right answer" kind of question.
Well, if it happened to me, I'd be polite about it, and view it as the giver trying to be nice and thoughtful. I'd also flag them as someone who might not be terribly perceptive, if they think I'd like the gift.
Wait, we're not talking about gonorrhea, are we?
Quote from: Your Mom on September 23, 2014, 06:14:17 AM
Quote from: Hoopla on September 23, 2014, 01:20:25 AM
Quote from: Your Mom on September 23, 2014, 01:18:22 AM
If someone gives someone a gift that they did not ask for and do not want, was the gift really for the recipient, or was it really for the giver?
How useful is it to the recipient?
It's unwanted, as stated.
That doesn't really answer my question. A gift can be unwanted, yet still be very useful.
If the giver gave it, feeling it could be genuinely useful, it could be a genuine gift. Even if unwanted and unasked for.
If it isn't at all useful, it's really up in the air, based on many factors.
Could you relay some other information so this isn't a pin the tail on the donkey situation for everyone answering?
Quote from: Hoopla on September 23, 2014, 11:58:35 AM
Quote from: Your Mom on September 23, 2014, 06:14:17 AM
Quote from: Hoopla on September 23, 2014, 01:20:25 AM
Quote from: Your Mom on September 23, 2014, 01:18:22 AM
If someone gives someone a gift that they did not ask for and do not want, was the gift really for the recipient, or was it really for the giver?
How useful is it to the recipient?
It's unwanted, as stated.
That doesn't really answer my question. A gift can be unwanted, yet still be very useful.
If the giver gave it, feeling it could be genuinely useful, it could be a genuine gift. Even if unwanted and unasked for.
If it isn't at all useful, it's really up in the air, based on many factors.
Could you relay some other information so this isn't a pin the tail on the donkey situation for everyone answering?
What kind of information do you want? If it is useful but the recipient doesn't want it, isn't it a bit paternalistic and/or creates an unwanted obligation?
I mean, that's a little of my personal bias leaking out.
So, I guess, assume that both the giver and the recipient are fully-realized adult human beings who are completely capable of taking care of themselves. The gift is unasked-for and unwanted. Is it for the giver, or for the recipient?
If it helps at all, I actually personally believe that there are multiple valid answers to this question.
Gifts become property and property needs to be looked after.
Therefore unwanted gifts are an attack on your well-being. Take revenge, give them a worse gift, for example the gift you just received but now on fire.
Polite people suffer the most under this kind of attack, complete and utter bastards do fine.
Quote from: Ragret on September 23, 2014, 05:02:24 PM
Gifts become property and property needs to be looked after.
Therefore unwanted gifts are an attack on your well-being. Take revenge, give them a worse gift, for example the gift you just received but now on fire.
Polite people suffer the most under this kind of attack, complete and utter bastards do fine.
:lulz:
Ok, I'm gonna taboo the word "for" here, as it could mean a couple of different things.
1.
Prior to the giving, is it intended to benefit the giver or the givee?
-In a perfect situation, it would be both. The giver gets social status points due to the the unasked giving, and the givee gets utility points by receiving.
-In a less perfect situation, the giver intends the gift only intends the status points for themselves, and don't really care if the givee benefits or not.
-In a not-at-all perfect situation, no benefits are expected. Neither the giver nor the givee want or care about the gift.[/li]
2.
After the giving, did either the giver or the givee benefit?-The givee will not gain utility points and may be forced to follow social conventions and be polite about accepting the gift, as to reject the gift would lose the givee status points.
-The giver may gain status points if the conventions are followed, may lose them if the gift is rejected, or the result may be neutral.
On balance, taking into account both before and after the giving, the giver has more opportunity to benefit. Therefore, the giving of the unasked and unexpected gift is "for" the giver.
Yes, I
have been reading a lot of LessWrong lately. Why do you ask?
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on September 23, 2014, 05:25:11 PM
Ok, I'm gonna taboo the word "for" here, as it could mean a couple of different things.
1. Prior to the giving, is it intended to benefit the giver or the givee?
-In a perfect situation, it would be both. The giver gets social status points due to the the unasked giving, and the givee gets utility points by receiving.
-In a less perfect situation, the giver intends the gift only intends the status points for themselves, and don't really care if the givee benefits or not.
-In a not-at-all perfect situation, no benefits are expected. Neither the giver nor the givee want or care about the gift.[/i]
2. After the giving, did either the giver or the givee benefit?
-The givee will not gain utility points and may be forced to follow social conventions and be polite about accepting the gift, as to reject the gift would lose the givee status points.
-The giver may gain status points if the conventions are followed, may lose them if the gift is rejected, or the result may be neutral.
On balance, taking into account both before and after the giving, the giver has more opportunity to benefit. Therefore, the giving of the unasked and unexpected gift is "for" the giver.
Yes, I have been reading a lot of LessWrong lately. Why do you ask?
Thank you, I appreciate this analysis.
*I also cannot for the life of my figure out why the quote function completely broke halfway through it. Too much formatting?
Edit: found the problem.
Oh, there's a dangling [/li] up there. That would probably do it.
I'd say a decent factor is how well the giver/givee know each other. When meeting a random person/client/whatever for the first occasion, if I happen to be buying a drink for myself I'll pick up a second bottle of whatever it is. Nothing expensive, or even alcoholic but just a simple "Here's a thing. Thirsty?" I suppose it's selfish consideration somewhat, they may not like the choice and refuse it which case I now have 2 drinks. Or they keep it and you can fairly accurately gauge how much of an asshole someone is likely to be for less than a quid, usually.
Anecdotal, but the two most extreme examples of that are:
Nuclear facility - Guy refused, showed me a bunch of forms he'd have to fill in to declare it not a bribe and such, got a really good feeling for the chap and the way the place works, nice behind the scenes shit and a bunch of lingo that helped considerably. For 30p.
Chemical works - Prick took a bottle of lucozade, had a taste, spat it out and threw the bottle at scaffolding. Found out everything I needed to know in about 20 seconds for 70p.
If you actually know and like the person and happen to give an unwanted gift, I would hope you know and like each other enough to go "What is this? The fuck were you thinking? I'm good for this, you keep it".
I think that how well the giver knows the recipient, how the recipient receives the unwanted gift, and what the giver expects of the recipient afterwards all have bearing on whether the gift is for the giver or the recipient.
Story time!
When QGP was a little nerdy thing freshman year at college, she was pretty and available and hanging out with all the nerds. You know how this works. Wound up moving in with two guys I was never gonna sleep with (with this being an explicit understanding) because fuckit, it's the 21st century and I need an apartment. One of the nerdlings bought me a necklace a few months after move in. It was not cheap. The fuck, man. It was really goddamned awkward and I'm kinda glad I lost it eventually.
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on September 23, 2014, 07:49:00 PM
Story time!
When QGP was a little nerdy thing freshman year at college, she was pretty and available and hanging out with all the nerds. You know how this works. Wound up moving in with two guys I was never gonna sleep with (with this being an explicit understanding) because fuckit, it's the 21st century and I need an apartment. One of the nerdlings bought me a necklace a few months after move in. It was not cheap. The fuck, man. It was really goddamned awkward and I'm kinda glad I lost it eventually.
Yeahhhh
That kind of thing is just a little hard to handle. I get gifts for my housemate all the time, and likewise he for me, but it's kinda all crap that no-ones feelings will be hurt if it ends up in the trash.
Of course, we've been friends for long enough that sometimes he brings shit home and I'm like NO. THAT HAS TO LEAVE THIS HOUSE IMMEDIATELY.
Sometimes it hurts the girls' feelings, but really it's for the best.
Quote from: Your Mom on September 23, 2014, 08:46:18 PM
Of course, we've been friends for long enough that sometimes he brings shit home and I'm like NO. THAT HAS TO LEAVE THIS HOUSE IMMEDIATELY.
Sometimes it hurts the girls' feelings, but really it's for the best.
:lulz:
So, are you gonna give us the whole story, or what?
Quote from: Your Mom on September 23, 2014, 01:18:22 AM
If someone gives someone a gift that they did not ask for and do not want, was the gift really for the recipient, or was it really for the giver?
If the giver genuinely thought that the recipient would actually like it and want it, then I'd say it's both for the giver to feel pleased that the recipient now has this thing they will enjoy just as much as it is for the recipient to enjoy. And when it turns out it is ill-received, then I think both parties would feel embarrassed.
If the giver thought the recipient
should like it but knows they won't actually like it and gives it anyway, then it's an exercise in condescension, and hence purely for the giver. It's huffing one's one farts via gift giving.
Depends on the gift, and the person.
If its just a general token and the person had already expressed they don't want it, then the gift is for the giver.
If it's grannies insulin because she cant afford it, then despite not wanting it the gift is for the receiver.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on September 24, 2014, 12:18:30 AM
Quote from: Your Mom on September 23, 2014, 08:46:18 PM
Of course, we've been friends for long enough that sometimes he brings shit home and I'm like NO. THAT HAS TO LEAVE THIS HOUSE IMMEDIATELY.
Sometimes it hurts the girls' feelings, but really it's for the best.
:lulz:
Kind of curious about what such a gift could be.
Also taking bets until the answer is revealed.
Quote from: Junkenstein on September 24, 2014, 11:23:29 AM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on September 24, 2014, 12:18:30 AM
Quote from: Your Mom on September 23, 2014, 08:46:18 PM
Of course, we've been friends for long enough that sometimes he brings shit home and I'm like NO. THAT HAS TO LEAVE THIS HOUSE IMMEDIATELY.
Sometimes it hurts the girls' feelings, but really it's for the best.
:lulz:
Kind of curious about what such a gift could be.
Also taking bets until the answer is revealed.
A wild stoat.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on September 24, 2014, 02:51:49 AM
So, are you gonna give us the whole story, or what?
There's no story.
It's vaguely related to another string of thought I've been playing with, though, which has gleaned an interesting variety of answers and which I will probably post after I take a shower and run some errands.
Quote from: Your Mom on September 23, 2014, 05:16:04 PM
Quote from: Ragret on September 23, 2014, 05:02:24 PM
Gifts become property and property needs to be looked after.
Therefore unwanted gifts are an attack on your well-being. Take revenge, give them a worse gift, for example the gift you just received but now on fire.
Polite people suffer the most under this kind of attack, complete and utter bastards do fine.
:lulz:
Don't laugh!! The first and last line are a pretty accurate description of my position on unwanted gifts (I.E. most of them). The fire bit never actually happened. Well... not on purpose.
Quote from: Ragret on September 25, 2014, 10:06:42 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on September 23, 2014, 05:16:04 PM
Quote from: Ragret on September 23, 2014, 05:02:24 PM
Gifts become property and property needs to be looked after.
Therefore unwanted gifts are an attack on your well-being. Take revenge, give them a worse gift, for example the gift you just received but now on fire.
Polite people suffer the most under this kind of attack, complete and utter bastards do fine.
:lulz:
Don't laugh!! The first and last line are a pretty accurate description of my position on unwanted gifts (I.E. most of them). The fire bit never actually happened. Well... not on purpose.
Oh no, I was laughing because it's also how I feel about 99.9% of gifts.
I have taken to immediately regifting almost everything given to me. There have been a few things that I really loved, but for the most part it goes promptly to someone else or to Goodwill.
Then there's another category of "gift", which is the kind where someone thinks they're doing something nice for you, but you are just tolerating it because it makes them happy. I'm not exactly sure how to address that one.
Quote from: Your Mom on September 25, 2014, 10:47:03 PM
I have taken to immediately regifting almost everything given to me. There have been a few things that I really loved, but for the most part it goes promptly to someone else or to Goodwill.
Then there's another category of "gift", which is the kind where someone thinks they're doing something nice for you, but you are just tolerating it because it makes them happy. I'm not exactly sure how to address that one.
Sounds like bad sex to me.
Quote from: Raz Tech on September 25, 2014, 11:38:04 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on September 25, 2014, 10:47:03 PM
I have taken to immediately regifting almost everything given to me. There have been a few things that I really loved, but for the most part it goes promptly to someone else or to Goodwill.
Then there's another category of "gift", which is the kind where someone thinks they're doing something nice for you, but you are just tolerating it because it makes them happy. I'm not exactly sure how to address that one.
Sounds like bad sex to me.
:lol:, yeah, but then you're tolerating bad sex, which I know people do but I don't understand WHY.
Quote from: Your Mom on September 26, 2014, 12:07:17 AM
Quote from: Raz Tech on September 25, 2014, 11:38:04 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on September 25, 2014, 10:47:03 PM
I have taken to immediately regifting almost everything given to me. There have been a few things that I really loved, but for the most part it goes promptly to someone else or to Goodwill.
Then there's another category of "gift", which is the kind where someone thinks they're doing something nice for you, but you are just tolerating it because it makes them happy. I'm not exactly sure how to address that one.
Sounds like bad sex to me.
:lol:, yeah, but then you're tolerating bad sex, which I know people do but I don't understand WHY.
Because it seemed like it would be awesome at the time, and you can't just stop half way through, and what would you do with all the fucking candles you just lit?
Quote from: Raz Tech on September 26, 2014, 12:17:01 AM
Quote from: Your Mom on September 26, 2014, 12:07:17 AM
Quote from: Raz Tech on September 25, 2014, 11:38:04 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on September 25, 2014, 10:47:03 PM
I have taken to immediately regifting almost everything given to me. There have been a few things that I really loved, but for the most part it goes promptly to someone else or to Goodwill.
Then there's another category of "gift", which is the kind where someone thinks they're doing something nice for you, but you are just tolerating it because it makes them happy. I'm not exactly sure how to address that one.
Sounds like bad sex to me.
:lol:, yeah, but then you're tolerating bad sex, which I know people do but I don't understand WHY.
Because it seemed like it would be awesome at the time, and you can't just stop half way through, and what would you do with all the fucking candles you just lit?
Yeah, but that's ONE time. Rule of thumb with sex is that you can't really tell for sure whether it's bad or just awkward until you've tried it at least three times. After that, though? Seems like after three tries, if it's still bad, you agree to just be friends.
Quote from: Raz Tech on September 26, 2014, 12:17:01 AM
Quote from: Your Mom on September 26, 2014, 12:07:17 AM
Quote from: Raz Tech on September 25, 2014, 11:38:04 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on September 25, 2014, 10:47:03 PM
I have taken to immediately regifting almost everything given to me. There have been a few things that I really loved, but for the most part it goes promptly to someone else or to Goodwill.
Then there's another category of "gift", which is the kind where someone thinks they're doing something nice for you, but you are just tolerating it because it makes them happy. I'm not exactly sure how to address that one.
Sounds like bad sex to me.
:lol:, yeah, but then you're tolerating bad sex, which I know people do but I don't understand WHY.
Because it seemed like it would be awesome at the time, and you can't just stop half way through, and what would you do with all the fucking candles you just lit?
For some reason this made me laugh until I cried. Bravo.
When my birthday or Christmas or something rolls around, and people ask what I want I invariably say something practical or a Guinness with me at the pub, or some other consumable. The reason for this is that I have too much trinkety stuff as it is. I accept it, I like it, I keep it, but it would fit into the unwanted category. Sometimes it's even a really thoughtful gift, and I love it, but chances are I never would have thought to ask for it or anything. I'm more than happy with a thing of new socks or some kitchen stuff. Stuff I might actually need and won't kinda sit on a shelf looking pretty.
Maybe having moved around a bit and hating the process, as well as being a student and underemployed has an effect on that.
So, I'll thank the person and mean it, and then wonder where to put it, and how I'm eventually going to transport it to wherever I live next. Villager's kinda getting used to the idea at this point. She got me a potato masher for my birthday this year.
Can you believe that? I've been living in this place since 3 summers ago, and that whole time without a potato masher.
When people ask what I want for my birthday or Chrstmas, I always ask for something completely impossible, like FIVE GODDAMN MINUTES OF PEACE AND QUIET. As a result I rarely have to deal with the problem of receiving unwanted gifts.
As an addendum to my post, I have a hard time getting rid of something if someone else gave it to me as a gift. It could be completely useless, but then it becomes a memento of both myself and the giver at the time it passed into my possession. It takes on, for lack of a better term, a spirit. It's ridiculous, because it's just a thing. But even if it's utterly useless it might still make you smirk from time to time. I don't want more of that. I'd feel bad if I ever had to get rid of it, but the fact is what I want at this point in life is stuff I need: Socks. Beer. Kitchen tools. I bought myself a measuring cup and I was annoyed, because it was becoming necessary for me to buy a measuring cup, and I didn't want to have to buy it. If someone bought me that instead of some sort of, I dunno, a little dragon statue, it would have been really helpful. Sure dragons are cool and they were my high school mascot, but what am I going to do with a bunch of little dragon statuettes? Actually, I might make that a thing now. If you get me something useful, I'm going to do or make something with it for the both of us and we can have a fun time with it. Get me a sack of turnips and I'll make dinner. Get me a bottle of cheap vodka and we'll try to find ways to make it taste good together. Get me some sort of biological tool, and we'll do an experiment. Unless it's socks. Can't really share something like that. You can, but you probably don't want to.
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on September 26, 2014, 03:10:42 AM
As an addendum to my post, I have a hard time getting rid of something if someone else gave it to me as a gift. It could be completely useless, but then it becomes a memento of both myself and the giver at the time it passed into my possession. It takes on, for lack of a better term, a spirit. It's ridiculous, because it's just a thing. But even if it's utterly useless it might still make you smirk from time to time. I don't want more of that. I'd feel bad if I ever had to get rid of it, but the fact is what I want at this point in life is stuff I need: Socks. Beer. Kitchen tools. I bought myself a measuring cup and I was annoyed, because it was becoming necessary for me to buy a measuring cup, and I didn't want to have to buy it. If someone bought me that instead of some sort of, I dunno, a little dragon statue, it would have been really helpful. Sure dragons are cool and they were my high school mascot, but what am I going to do with a bunch of little dragon statuettes? Actually, I might make that a thing now. If you get me something useful, I'm going to do or make something with it for the both of us and we can have a fun time with it. Get me a sack of turnips and I'll make dinner. Get me a bottle of cheap vodka and we'll try to find ways to make it taste good together. Get me some sort of biological tool, and we'll do an experiment. Unless it's socks. Can't really share something like that. You can, but you probably don't want to.
Quote from: Ragret on September 23, 2014, 05:02:24 PM
*SNIP*
Polite people suffer the most under this kind of attack, complete and utter bastards do fine.
You are too polite.
Be the bastard you were born to be.
The Rage is there, you've just misplaced it. (hint: it is in the annoyance bin.)
Quote from: Your Mom on September 25, 2014, 10:47:03 PM
I have taken to immediately regifting almost everything given to me.
How is it different when you give the gifts?
Quote from: Your Mom on September 25, 2014, 10:42:22 PM
Quote from: Ragret on September 25, 2014, 10:06:42 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on September 23, 2014, 05:16:04 PM
Quote from: Ragret on September 23, 2014, 05:02:24 PM
Gifts become property and property needs to be looked after.
Therefore unwanted gifts are an attack on your well-being. Take revenge, give them a worse gift, for example the gift you just received but now on fire.
Polite people suffer the most under this kind of attack, complete and utter bastards do fine.
:lulz:
Don't laugh!! The first and last line are a pretty accurate description of my position on unwanted gifts (I.E. most of them). The fire bit never actually happened. Well... not on purpose.
Oh no, I was laughing because it's also how I feel about 99.9% of gifts.
<3
Quote from: Ragret on September 26, 2014, 04:35:48 AM
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on September 26, 2014, 03:10:42 AM
As an addendum to my post, I have a hard time getting rid of something if someone else gave it to me as a gift. It could be completely useless, but then it becomes a memento of both myself and the giver at the time it passed into my possession. It takes on, for lack of a better term, a spirit. It's ridiculous, because it's just a thing. But even if it's utterly useless it might still make you smirk from time to time. I don't want more of that. I'd feel bad if I ever had to get rid of it, but the fact is what I want at this point in life is stuff I need: Socks. Beer. Kitchen tools. I bought myself a measuring cup and I was annoyed, because it was becoming necessary for me to buy a measuring cup, and I didn't want to have to buy it. If someone bought me that instead of some sort of, I dunno, a little dragon statue, it would have been really helpful. Sure dragons are cool and they were my high school mascot, but what am I going to do with a bunch of little dragon statuettes? Actually, I might make that a thing now. If you get me something useful, I'm going to do or make something with it for the both of us and we can have a fun time with it. Get me a sack of turnips and I'll make dinner. Get me a bottle of cheap vodka and we'll try to find ways to make it taste good together. Get me some sort of biological tool, and we'll do an experiment. Unless it's socks. Can't really share something like that. You can, but you probably don't want to.
Quote from: Ragret on September 23, 2014, 05:02:24 PM
*SNIP*
Polite people suffer the most under this kind of attack, complete and utter bastards do fine.
You are too polite.
Be the bastard you were born to be.
The Rage is there, you've just misplaced it. (hint: it is in the annoyance bin.)
I recognize that, but I'm not annoyed that they got me something useless. I just get annoyed that they didn't get me something useful. I'm happy that they were thoughtful enough to think of me and say Kevin would get a kick out of this- and I do. But when I need an implement, I'm like, wish Santa got me one of those.
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on September 26, 2014, 04:45:37 AM
Quote from: Ragret on September 26, 2014, 04:35:48 AM
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on September 26, 2014, 03:10:42 AM
As an addendum to my post, I have a hard time getting rid of something if someone else gave it to me as a gift. It could be completely useless, but then it becomes a memento of both myself and the giver at the time it passed into my possession. It takes on, for lack of a better term, a spirit. It's ridiculous, because it's just a thing. But even if it's utterly useless it might still make you smirk from time to time. I don't want more of that. I'd feel bad if I ever had to get rid of it, but the fact is what I want at this point in life is stuff I need: Socks. Beer. Kitchen tools. I bought myself a measuring cup and I was annoyed, because it was becoming necessary for me to buy a measuring cup, and I didn't want to have to buy it. If someone bought me that instead of some sort of, I dunno, a little dragon statue, it would have been really helpful. Sure dragons are cool and they were my high school mascot, but what am I going to do with a bunch of little dragon statuettes? Actually, I might make that a thing now. If you get me something useful, I'm going to do or make something with it for the both of us and we can have a fun time with it. Get me a sack of turnips and I'll make dinner. Get me a bottle of cheap vodka and we'll try to find ways to make it taste good together. Get me some sort of biological tool, and we'll do an experiment. Unless it's socks. Can't really share something like that. You can, but you probably don't want to.
Quote from: Ragret on September 23, 2014, 05:02:24 PM
*SNIP*
Polite people suffer the most under this kind of attack, complete and utter bastards do fine.
You are too polite.
Be the bastard you were born to be.
The Rage is there, you've just misplaced it. (hint: it is in the annoyance bin.)
I recognize that, but I'm not annoyed that they got me something useless. I just get annoyed that they didn't get me something useful. I'm happy that they were thoughtful enough to think of me and say Kevin would get a kick out of this- and I do. But when I need an implement, I'm like, wish Santa got me one of those.
so they are acting like meth-dealers then.
They give you something that gives you a fleeting mental/emotional 'kick' that has very long lasting negative effects.
The lack of potatomasher will come back to haunt you until you pay to have that problem fixed (not unlike paying for a psychiatrist) while the kick you get out of the dragon lasts at most a day and you will have to lug it with you everytime you move. insure it against damage, protect it from accidents and theft and all in all be a mayor drain on your resources.
Quote from: Ragret on September 26, 2014, 04:51:40 AM
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on September 26, 2014, 04:45:37 AM
Quote from: Ragret on September 26, 2014, 04:35:48 AM
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on September 26, 2014, 03:10:42 AM
As an addendum to my post, I have a hard time getting rid of something if someone else gave it to me as a gift. It could be completely useless, but then it becomes a memento of both myself and the giver at the time it passed into my possession. It takes on, for lack of a better term, a spirit. It's ridiculous, because it's just a thing. But even if it's utterly useless it might still make you smirk from time to time. I don't want more of that. I'd feel bad if I ever had to get rid of it, but the fact is what I want at this point in life is stuff I need: Socks. Beer. Kitchen tools. I bought myself a measuring cup and I was annoyed, because it was becoming necessary for me to buy a measuring cup, and I didn't want to have to buy it. If someone bought me that instead of some sort of, I dunno, a little dragon statue, it would have been really helpful. Sure dragons are cool and they were my high school mascot, but what am I going to do with a bunch of little dragon statuettes? Actually, I might make that a thing now. If you get me something useful, I'm going to do or make something with it for the both of us and we can have a fun time with it. Get me a sack of turnips and I'll make dinner. Get me a bottle of cheap vodka and we'll try to find ways to make it taste good together. Get me some sort of biological tool, and we'll do an experiment. Unless it's socks. Can't really share something like that. You can, but you probably don't want to.
Quote from: Ragret on September 23, 2014, 05:02:24 PM
*SNIP*
Polite people suffer the most under this kind of attack, complete and utter bastards do fine.
You are too polite.
Be the bastard you were born to be.
The Rage is there, you've just misplaced it. (hint: it is in the annoyance bin.)
I recognize that, but I'm not annoyed that they got me something useless. I just get annoyed that they didn't get me something useful. I'm happy that they were thoughtful enough to think of me and say Kevin would get a kick out of this- and I do. But when I need an implement, I'm like, wish Santa got me one of those.
so they are acting like meth-dealers then.
They give you something that gives you a fleeting mental/emotional 'kick' that has very long lasting negative effects.
The lack of potatomasher will come back to haunt you until you pay to have that problem fixed (not unlike paying for a psychiatrist) while the kick you get out of the dragon lasts at most a day and you will have to lug it with you everytime you move. insure it against damage, protect it from accidents and theft and all in all be a mayor drain on your resources.
The analogy is a bit strong but I see where you're coming from.
Quote from: V3X on September 26, 2014, 02:53:48 AM
When people ask what I want for my birthday or Chrstmas, I always ask for something completely impossible, like FIVE GODDAMN MINUTES OF PEACE AND QUIET. As a result I rarely have to deal with the problem of receiving unwanted gifts.
I ask for yarn. I get yarn and a pattern to make something with said yarn for the person who bought the yarn.
I say we start burning holidays down, one by one, until the masses give in to our demands for gifts that don't suck and aren't found in Wal-Mart for $9.99 plus $.05 for a god damn bow.
Quote from: Your Mom on September 23, 2014, 04:59:40 PM
So, I guess, assume that both the giver and the recipient are fully-realized adult human beings who are completely capable of taking care of themselves. The gift is unasked-for and unwanted. Is it for the giver, or for the recipient?
In that case, it's just a mistake. The object will be retained by the giver, the attempt at giving a gift failed.
However, the premise is totally preposterous.
Two fully realized adult human beings? In the same place, at the same time? hm
Quote from: Dodo Argentino on September 26, 2014, 06:23:31 AM
Quote from: Your Mom on September 23, 2014, 04:59:40 PM
So, I guess, assume that both the giver and the recipient are fully-realized adult human beings who are completely capable of taking care of themselves. The gift is unasked-for and unwanted. Is it for the giver, or for the recipient?
In that case, it's just a mistake. The object will be retained by the giver, the attempt at giving a gift failed.
However, the premise is totally preposterous. Two fully realized adult human beings? In the same place, at the same time? hm
Yea, it's not a gift that you pay them to leave :lulz:
Quote from: Hoopla on September 26, 2014, 04:39:48 AM
Quote from: Your Mom on September 25, 2014, 10:47:03 PM
I have taken to immediately regifting almost everything given to me.
How is it different when you give the gifts?
It's not fundamentally different, because I am gifting them to get rid of them. OTOH, I don't expect the recipients to be grateful.
Generally I say "Hey I got this thing I don't want, do you want it?" and that gives my intended recipient the chance to say "No, thanks", and then I take it to Goodwill. Has the added benefit of making it clear that I don't anticipate gratitude, as if they do want it, they are doing me the favor of taking it off my hands.
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on September 26, 2014, 04:59:27 AM
Quote from: Ragret on September 26, 2014, 04:51:40 AM
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on September 26, 2014, 04:45:37 AM
Quote from: Ragret on September 26, 2014, 04:35:48 AM
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on September 26, 2014, 03:10:42 AM
As an addendum to my post, I have a hard time getting rid of something if someone else gave it to me as a gift. It could be completely useless, but then it becomes a memento of both myself and the giver at the time it passed into my possession. It takes on, for lack of a better term, a spirit. It's ridiculous, because it's just a thing. But even if it's utterly useless it might still make you smirk from time to time. I don't want more of that. I'd feel bad if I ever had to get rid of it, but the fact is what I want at this point in life is stuff I need: Socks. Beer. Kitchen tools. I bought myself a measuring cup and I was annoyed, because it was becoming necessary for me to buy a measuring cup, and I didn't want to have to buy it. If someone bought me that instead of some sort of, I dunno, a little dragon statue, it would have been really helpful. Sure dragons are cool and they were my high school mascot, but what am I going to do with a bunch of little dragon statuettes? Actually, I might make that a thing now. If you get me something useful, I'm going to do or make something with it for the both of us and we can have a fun time with it. Get me a sack of turnips and I'll make dinner. Get me a bottle of cheap vodka and we'll try to find ways to make it taste good together. Get me some sort of biological tool, and we'll do an experiment. Unless it's socks. Can't really share something like that. You can, but you probably don't want to.
Quote from: Ragret on September 23, 2014, 05:02:24 PM
*SNIP*
Polite people suffer the most under this kind of attack, complete and utter bastards do fine.
You are too polite.
Be the bastard you were born to be.
The Rage is there, you've just misplaced it. (hint: it is in the annoyance bin.)
I recognize that, but I'm not annoyed that they got me something useless. I just get annoyed that they didn't get me something useful. I'm happy that they were thoughtful enough to think of me and say Kevin would get a kick out of this- and I do. But when I need an implement, I'm like, wish Santa got me one of those.
so they are acting like meth-dealers then.
They give you something that gives you a fleeting mental/emotional 'kick' that has very long lasting negative effects.
The lack of potatomasher will come back to haunt you until you pay to have that problem fixed (not unlike paying for a psychiatrist) while the kick you get out of the dragon lasts at most a day and you will have to lug it with you everytime you move. insure it against damage, protect it from accidents and theft and all in all be a mayor drain on your resources.
The analogy is a bit strong but I see where you're coming from.
I know.
I did that on purpose.
Are you entertained yet? I am.
Of course :)