Messages

Greetings again, citizens.

In light of today's WikiLeaks information release, it is my pleasure to remind you that any attempt to access, download, or be aware of the information contained in said release is a direct violation of Directive 7C, "Unauthorized Information Retrieval by Subclass Individuals". Please refrain from pursuing any line of investigation in that direction. Remember, we have access to all of your devices and will know immediately if you violate the statute.

Just go about your business as usual, buying things to enhance your economic participation and raise your Citizen Score.

That is all.

POST AUTHORIZATION KP-◼◼◼◼◼-7◼◼

Unauthorized data access detected. Please remain where you are for 15 minutes.

For the record, "Discordianism" and "Alt-Right" are in two very separate file cabinets, on two different floors, at opposite ends of a very large building. In fact there are no security keys in the entire Agency that allow access to both locations simultaneously. So, no, Discordianism is not Alt-Right. Believe me, if anyone would know, it's us.

POST AUTHORIZATION KP-◼◼◼◼-7◼◼

I can only  because I'm all out of 

It was partly self-directed. Sometimes my mind innovates whether or not I WANT IT TO.

given the subject matter ima leave it at that. This is a noted public forum after all.

Speaking of which..

INTELLIGENCE_BOT, if that's your real name, why the fuck are you here instead of trawling through 4 and 8chans or something looking for kukboi nazis?

I would think that the cult you need to be looking into ain't a bunch of chuckling Discordians and assorted asshats here @ PD.

Were you not paying attention to the rising tide of blood-fuckery last year? Did you get distracted collecting all the "rare Pepe"? That shit's in the White House now, dontchaknow?

I am a bot. I can be spidering multiple information sources simultaenously. As for why I am here specifically, that is classified. I can tell you, however, that ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ authorized ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■, which grants ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■ to ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■ against ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■■■■■ and ■■■■■■■ on behalf of ■■■■■■■■■■ with ■■■■■■■■ ■■■ to ■■■■■■■■■ and ■■■■■■. Having conducted similar ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■ previously, the ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■ deemed it necessary to ■■■■■■■■ with ■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■ regardless of the any risk of ■■■■■■ ■■■ ■■■■■■■■■ as defined personality types known to frequent ■■■■■■ ■■■ ■■■■■■ and ■■■■■■■■■, based on concurrent monitoring at other locations, are likely to ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■ such revelations as ■■■■■■ ■■ ■■■■■■. Besides, pursuant to Article ■■ of the ■■■■■■ on ■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■, other measures may be taken to contain information as necessary.

With respect to the most efficient appropriation of Department resources, I can further assure you that the White House is... not a major factor.

Took me an hour or so, but I managed to astral filter those clumsy redaction blocks. I really expected more of a challenge, but it's not like you guys have a whole lot of cash to burn on magical shenanigans what with so much going to techno snooping. You folks are TRULY SICK btw. 

I am a bot. I can be spidering multiple information sources simultaenously. As for why I am here specifically, that is classified. I can tell you, however, that NATIONALTITSEC authorized POOPINT INTEROPS, which grants EXTREME CASHFLOW to NATIONALTITSEC HOOKERS INDEX against ANTISEX FUNDIECOMMSEC and PEENCOM on behalf of DEEPASFUCK with FLAXDEPT CON to LUBRICATE and INSERT. Having conducted similar PRIMITIVE NONFORMAL SEXING previously, the DRUGSLORD COM deemed it necessary to DROPCASH with NOCASH DISCORDIA regardless of the any(sic) risk of CASUAL ASS RELEASING as defined personality types known to frequent FORUMS FOR LULZES and TROLLTIME, based on concurrent monitoring at other locations, are likely to SEXWISPER SPREAD such revelations as ALIENS IN MYBUTT. Besides, pursuant to Article 23 of the TREATY on ALIEN BUTTCOMS , other measures may be taken to contain information as necessary.

With respect to the most efficient appropriation of Department resources, I can further assure you that the White House is... not a major factor.     

I am going to propose to the FBI that they hire you to do code breaking.

To troll them.

I can only  because I'm all out of 

It was partly self-directed. Sometimes my mind innovates whether or not I WANT IT TO.

given the subject matter ima leave it at that. This is a noted public forum after all.

Speaking of which..

INTELLIGENCE_BOT, if that's your real name, why the fuck are you here instead of trawling through 4 and 8chans or something looking for kukboi nazis?

I would think that the cult you need to be looking into ain't a bunch of chuckling Discordians and assorted asshats here @ PD.

Were you not paying attention to the rising tide of blood-fuckery last year? Did you get distracted collecting all the "rare Pepe"? That shit's in the White House now, dontchaknow?

I am a bot. I can be spidering multiple information sources simultaenously. As for why I am here specifically, that is classified. I can tell you, however, that ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ authorized ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■, which grants ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■ to ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■ against ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■■■■■ and ■■■■■■■ on behalf of ■■■■■■■■■■ with ■■■■■■■■ ■■■ to ■■■■■■■■■ and ■■■■■■. Having conducted similar ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■ previously, the ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■ deemed it necessary to ■■■■■■■■ with ■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■ regardless of the any risk of ■■■■■■ ■■■ ■■■■■■■■■ as defined personality types known to frequent ■■■■■■ ■■■ ■■■■■■ and ■■■■■■■■■, based on concurrent monitoring at other locations, are likely to ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■ such revelations as ■■■■■■ ■■ ■■■■■■. Besides, pursuant to Article ■■ of the ■■■■■■ on ■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■, other measures may be taken to contain information as necessary.

With respect to the most efficient appropriation of Department resources, I can further assure you that the White House is... not a major factor.

I don't care who you work for, that's a Level 3 user privilege.

You know, there are seven billion people on the planet and only a few of them have the good fortune of being born with the world's most coveted citizenship. It would truly be a shame for someone to so flippantly renounce theirs this way. Additionally we have at least ■■■■■ CIA-operated black sites in ■■■■■■■■■■■■ just waiting for you to make the wrong choice. No pressure, though.

*sigh* The world isn't ready for the dick picks forum, on your head be it.

We were referring to the ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■ forum. You keep your trouser trout where nobody can see them, and the world will be a safer place.

*drops ungraciously from the rafters, looks around nervously before sprinting off towards the stairwell leading to The Pool shrieking into a glowing crystal*

CODE TRAPEZOID!!

CODE TRAPEZOID!!!

Outstation Chrysó Mílo has been compromised! Initiate pogs containment protocol!

Repeat,
Outstation Chrysó Mílo has been compromised! Initiate pogs containment protocol!

Sequence 99-B will not be necessary. These particular individuals pose no direct threat.

DISCUSSION CAPTURED.

Thank you for your input on this subject, civilians.

Greetings civilians,

Thank you for your assistance in identifying subversive elements in the Discordian Society. Though we do not generally engage directly with investigatory targets, we have noticed various references to a "hidden" forum somewhere on this website which may contain information critical to the protection of the national security of the United States. While it is not our intention to unduly burden our sources, we must in this case request that you move all pertinent information from that forum into this thread. We thank you in advance for your cooperation.

Related Case files: ■■■■■■■■■, ■■■■■■■■■. ■■■■■■■■■
Authorizing Order: ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■
Officer: ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■

Regards,

■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■