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Messages - Cain

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1
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: April 30, 2021, 06:29:01 pm »
LOL speaking as an over 60 I challenge your claim about governmentally approved fucking off and dying . . . the bastards want us all to die. ALSO my 2 pennorth on Astra Zeneca - I was fine for 5 days and then there were 3 days when I couldn't move and which I can't remember clearly. Still, its gotta be better than Covid. Right?

Well true, though at least they are vaccinating the over 50s. And yeah, I hear there's some nasty after effects, so I've mentally prepared myself for that, when I get injected in two years time.

Yikes.  Our government at least pretends to care, they're just disorganized and condescending.

Are your people trying to improve initial coverage by increasing the inter-dose interval from three weeks to four months, or is that just us?

I'm not entirely certain, truth be told, but I don't think so. A lot of the over 60 crowd have already gotten their second dose, so I'm leaning towards it not being the case, but I couldn't say for certain.

I'm looking forward to all the things I was missing out on with social distancing: the arm wrestling competitions, the kissing people on each cheek european style, and let's not forget the orgies.

Licking random public doorknobs is where it's going to be at.

2
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: April 30, 2021, 01:33:52 am »
Is blaming Trudeau ever really wrong?

I'm also still waiting for a vaccination, if it makes you feel any better. Of course the government's attitude to anyone under 60 is that we should fuck off and die, so I'm not too surprised at this being the case. Denying us the ability to get vaccinated, while making snide remarks and hectoring us to go and get vaccinated when it's finally available is entirely in keeping with their approach to...well, everything.

3
I think the best part was when Labour decided they wanted to have Peter Mandelson and Tony Blair speak up on how lobbying is a noble art.

I know Starmer is fucking useless, but you'd think he'd get those two idiots to shut up for at least a day when it looked like there was a chance to hammer the Tories on something.

4
RPG Ghetto / Re: New campaign world notes
« on: April 20, 2021, 02:59:13 pm »
There's always the classic "bounty hunter dispensing rough justice out along the border". Exactly how rough the justice and whether it's really necessary are, of course, open questions.

5
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: April 20, 2021, 02:57:42 pm »
Well that's boring. Wessex LARP or go home.

6
RPG Ghetto / Re: New campaign world notes
« on: April 20, 2021, 11:49:54 am »
The Magnificent Seven would've been my go-to as well. In addition to being a classic western, it's also a classic D&D plot.

7
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: April 20, 2021, 10:20:09 am »
Bringing back weregild, fighting with Vikings and promoting monasticism as a valid lifestyle.

8
Principia Discussion / Re: хороший интимный блог
« on: April 11, 2021, 08:07:54 pm »
Still could be chaos magick. The bots have already figured out what they need to fap, now they just need something to fap with.

9
It also doesn't matter because Boris Johnson is just going to say "no" regardless and the press will back him to the hilt. 130,000 unnecessary deaths and a Brexit clusterfuck that is gutting our international trade haven't caused him to change his mind, pissing off literally all of Scotland isn't going to either.

10
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: April 06, 2021, 03:24:09 am »
Emailing it in

11
Incredibly embarassing.

Especially considering this report basically says all the same stuff that the press has been for the past decade at least, you know, racism doesn't real (except against white people), ethnic minorities are "race hustlers" who don't think so good etc, but it's done in such an atrociously bald-faced way, with such a flagrant "fuck you" that even the Tory press have disowned it.

12
The PM now dsistancing himself from the report tells you everything you need to know about how well that has gone.

13
Apple Talk / Re: GOOD NIGHT, FUNNYMAN
« on: April 02, 2021, 03:55:33 pm »
Liddy is the kind of person that, if you made him up for a book, people would call him too over the top and unbelievable.

14
RPG Ghetto / Re: Of Conspiracies and Contracts
« on: March 31, 2021, 05:32:58 pm »
The Roaring Rampage of Revenge

After some downtime (that coincided with my IRL moving home), the captain called the company together at a private location in the hills of Mornouth to discuss their response. Obviously this kind strike at the company wasn't going to be taken sitting down. They had the name from one of the unburned letters, an "Alard Vette", who, with a little bit of research, could be found in the dossier of off the book operations the company had received from their contact in the Ring of Daggers. Further digging showed he was a minor noble, a former Lion Guard officer who seemed to be fast-tracked for great things - only to be mysteriously promoted sideways to some minor command, and then resigning shortly after. Since then he'd been involved in a number of commercial ventures, and had resultingly become quite wealthy.

There were two possible locations he could be - his estate near Camlorn, or his summer hunting lodge in the Menevian hills, north of Wayrest. With the latter being the far closer option, the company dispatched a team to investigate. They found Vette had not been seen for weeks, but he retained a skeleton staff to look after the estate, including his seneschal (who normally resided at the larger estate near Camlorn). Trying to question the staff, they ran into a perculiar problem: the staff literally could not speak to Vette's whereabouts, and any attempt to do so caused them considerable pain. Investigating, the company battlemage detected magic leading to a small Ayleid artifact hidden inside the fireplace in the building. When she retrieved it, she was able to deactivate it but it also triggered a trap, spawning a Clannfear daedra in the main hall.

The company managed to send the daedra back to Oblivion, and the staff, grateful to be freed from the mind control spell, told what they knew. Vette had indeed been here, a few weeks past. He took a body of men with him up into the hills, where he owns an old, abandoned mine. Seeing an obvious lead, the company investigated. The guards within surprised the group, mistaking them for their relief - they weren't wearing his house colours, the guards were paid mercenaries like the company, and so the appearance of a rag-tag group in the middle of their poker game did not immediately set off any alarm bells, and the Nord warrior, quicker on the uptake than their reputation would suggest, was happy to play along. The mercenaries told them to have fun guarding the boxes and said they'd make their way back to the Camlorn estate for new orders.

With the guards gone, they quickly cracked open the crates. While some contained gold that had clearly been secreted away as an emergency measure, others contained a strange red ore with an acrid smell. Unable to identify it, they brought it to the company blacksmith and the captain to see what they made of it. The two of them determined that it was "red brittle", also known as nirncrux, an incredibly unstable and usually poisonous ore that was mined in northern Craglorn, a region that bordered Bangkorai, but was also near the Skyrim and Cyrodiil border. In particular the Dragonstar Caravan Company had a mine full of the stuff in the city of Dragonstar. Vette's interest in it was unknown, though some voiced the suspicion that he intended to create a poison weapon with it, to ends unknown.

House of Horrors

Moving on, the company made their way to the Camlorn estate. Here they found - much to their surprise - a group of off-duty members of the Evermore Guard were casing the place. The Guard were, as it turns out, very unhappy about the death of their men during the assassination attempt on the company and they had made their own inquiries. As far as they could tell, nothing had come into or left that house in a week, maybe even longer. They had been debating throwing the place themselves, but with the company here they could look the other way and technically not be breaking the law. So, no help, but also no hinderance.

After some work on the locks, the company made their way in, only to find the scene of a massacre. The guards from the mine had been killed, and posed. So had what looked to be the household staff. All designed to make a macabre welcome for the mercenaries. At the very centre of the estate they found an unpassable barrier, and what looked like a man moving behind it. Once again, the mages set to work, and while they couldn't bring down the barrier they found it was connected to various enchantments throughout the manor. However, much like the device at the other estate, these enchanted items were trapped.

The first summoned the worst fears of each company member to attack them. Credit to the players, I threw this at them with almost no warning whatsoever and responded admirably, with a bunch of interesting fears that I unfortunately mostly don't remember (my character's was her father, though described obliquely enough that the others might not have realised). The second emitted a horrible screeching sound that prevented all spellcasting, most talking and put anyone hearing it in extreme pain. The third, located in the kitchen, summoned rats from the floorboards below to attack (the rats were an illusion). The fourth summoned an illusionary flame atronach, who set the room ablaze. The fifth, by contrast, was an actual mechanical trap, releasing poison in the room designed to weaken those who inhaled it (lowered constitution and strength).

However, they powered through, taking the hits and the psychological damage and managed to get them all, bringing the barrier down. That's when the nightblade assassin, who had previously tried to kill the captain at the Evermore Docks, struck. He had a Chameleon spell protecting him again, and had boosted his speed significantly (Haste) and of course he had expected his traps to put the players off balance and kept them weakened. Which it did, to an extent. However, after the assassination attempt the captain made two purchases. One was an Absorb Health enchantment for her Akaviri sword - enough to keep her alive while in melee with the assassin. The second were poisoned designed to drain magicka, which she had distributed to the other party members.

Needless to say, even with his advantages, it was a five on one fight and the party had prepared to counter his strength, his magical abilities. After he was put down, the company went through his belongings, finding an enchanted ring (fortify Illusion, seal of House Mero of Leyawiin stamped on it), a necklace (able to cast Blur 3x a day) and letters indicating that, once he had finished off the company he was to make his way to Chiselshriek Mine, near Elinhir in northern Craglorn, for the rest of his payment. The company then looted the building of any portable values, mostly jewellery and wine, and then set the place ablaze as they departed.

15
RPG Ghetto / Re: New campaign world notes
« on: March 31, 2021, 04:57:55 pm »
Something similar is about to happen in my game, meeting a quite senior vampire. Which reminds me, I need to write more updates.

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