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Topics - lexi

this is the one you should listen to - it's a clean simple short recording of a perfectly nice inoffensive ditty:

potential dysphoria and sad vibes warning on this one with my vocals - recorded ~2003 after i fell in love with a face i didn't recognise but with a spirit and stamina which made me never want to wake up - it's the same tune, but you don't need to feel any more sad today than you usually would - so best avoided really:
Bring and Brag / capitapocalytart
March 25, 2022, 03:52:37 PM
when we talk about the inevitable-end-of-capitalism, what do we really mean? tricky question for who are we have different dreams all. i think it has more to do with nomadic Peer-Identified-Subject-Matter-Experts having the flexibility to drop in and out of local businesses and organisations to help keep them afloat after the tide goes out. motivated flash cabals of consultants no money can buy who build resilience and integrity into the top third of industries to enable and guarantee the smoothest transition to post capitalistic driven structures and consensual non exploitative principles

what does art representing this period look like? it can't. formless and with too many forms to count. less accounting, brutal accountability. subversions of traditional expectation branded ruts by capitalistic impulse realised and repeated ad vomitorium. no names, for it cannot be named in order to be communicated. i ask my canadian chums - whose face is on all your money? do you think that means nothing? try getting your face on every coin note and stamp and then tell me it was nothing. heck - try putting a black woman on anything that those dicks-in-diapers care about but can't control and contain and they spontaneously lose their shit.

what does art representing this period feed on? i say integrity - i reached out to a random local lawyer while disassociating and received a positive response, but as it turns out, that contingency was unnecessary a few hours later when i read their response - i had already brought the corporate monopoly to its knees asking forgiveness without trying to twist any truths together or apart, of this i feel good, so i'll brag about this art and hope my small victory this morning inspires others to not do the same, but coop better:

Bring and Brag / the book of forbidden geometries
March 24, 2022, 06:58:59 PM
my totally badass title for my combination gamedev/relaxation colouring book, i don't stress out too much about wrong lines or wobbles because chill is more important in that process - i only titled it after the following image starting challenging my brain in ways i didn't like. it took four days of looking at it in different short sessions before the mounting feeling of discomfort and growing fear didn't quickly stress me a headache. and then it struck me that i was looking at the opposite of sacred geometry which makes complexity a calming canvas for infinite interpretations - it isn't symmetrical, tidy.. it didn't make me feel clever because it hinted at a pattern i couldn't quite see.. so no expected dopamine rush..  and just uncomfortable for my brain to deal with.

subliminal warning: do not look indirectly at image

i still haven't figured out the algorithm, though i figured out today, there must be an algorithm, but my suspicion is that the image stopped hurting my brain i only after new neural connections formed in response to it. which would mean my brain:
a) not only figured it out
b) isn't telling me the answer

An article i believed quite thoroughly, back in 2008

Quote"We are witnessing the end of Rovian politics," Eric Schmidt, CEO of Google told me. And YouTube, which Google bought in 2006 for $1.65 billion, is one of the causes of its demise.

Or Kill Me / Derealing
March 17, 2022, 02:23:49 PM

prey have you ever stood the tracks stormed on summer nights, hazey something on or other, playing chicken oncoming train!
-- munkitt<3n

well actually the simplest answer is just obviously to imagine a world without tracks!
-- Captain Utopia

A friend once told me about her two brothers who had failed the ultimate barstool test with the Toronto Subway. I responded with a great wave of empathy and tried to reassure her that I'd be extra sensitive around her and never joke about suicide again. She shrugged and laughed - "I don't care.. as long as it's funny.." - we walked on a little further. The last joke was on her though. Or rather; I saw the punchline coming - ducked - and she got hit.

At home and at work, this past week has felt like noting the times of passing trains, working the schedule out backwards from observation, and choosing my moments for a confrontation even more unwise than my opening line.

Have you ever stood on the tracks as the speeding train you're staring down comes hurtling predictably towards you with no intention or self-ability to change course, and yet you manage to remain firmly within your center of balance, and derail the trends events were following while trying to minimise hurt while probably maintaining your integrity? I mean - probably you have - but this is a new experience for me.

It feels like I've had two trains bounce off me such in the last week, another one coming up with family, and I think everyone involved is doing okay. Problems avoidable through open communication are frustrating and draining to me, though maintaining status quo can often be moreso.

feeling a little beat up, but finding myself slowly through intentful processes

Not a real word, so i'm stealing it :P
Bring and Brag / They weren't wrong.
March 16, 2022, 12:55:32 PM
Briefly fulfilled my acting career ambition inspired initially by a childhood crush on David Hasselhoff, by helping a friend with her short films before killing her.
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / Folk News
November 12, 2020, 02:30:08 PM
My history is hazy, but what role have Discordians played in the evolution of fake news? 70 million people still haven't gotten the joke. What's the plan?