QuoteI'd be happier if you showed more of the Ghede Loa. They're kind of a package thing. Also, if you're intending to show off Samedi (the most commonly referred-to one), you're missing some of his accoutrements.
The idea was to try and get the idea across without being to blatant. I could have gone in depth with all the nasal voice and the glasses missing one lens and all of that, but I though it would have messed with the flow of the story.
Thanks for the critique. I'm going to check the spelling stuff on the word document.